Daisy's Necklace, and What Came of It Part 23

"Orders addressed to HIGGINS & CO., of this town, will be promptly filled."

I should take the editor of the "Blundertown Journal" to be a man of cultured taste, appreciative and discriminating. The second review was not quite so "favorable," and can scarcely be called "a first-rate notice."

[_From the Frogpond Gazette._]

"DAISY'S NECKLACE" is the silly t.i.tle of an absurd novel about to be issued by Printem & Sellem, of New-York. From the fact that the author's name is withheld from the t.i.tle-page, we infer that he had _some_ friends--some few who were not wholly willing that he should make a donkey of himself. We have read a great deal of trash in our day; but 'Daisy's Necklace' is the king of all vapid novels,--sentimental in sentiment, flaccid in fiction, and entirely intolerable from beginning to end. The first forty pages put us to sleep. We advise all druggists to keep the book for sale,--as an _anodyne_.

"The binding is good, and that is all the praise we can give so contemptible an abortion. A reading public that tolerates a novel like this, must be made up of very good-natured persons--a.s.sinine in temperament, and mentally obtuse.

"This 'work,' we presume, is written by that much-abused and prolific myth--'a young gentleman of this city,' distinguished, _of course_. We believe that he writes all of Printem & Sellem's books. At all events, those enterprising gentlemen always have 'a startling novel' in press, from his immortal pen. What a long string of sins these gentlemen have to answer for! What a commotion there would be among the shelves of their book-store, if dead authors could come back and reclaim stolen property! If the shade of _Lindley Murray_ could stalk among them!

"For our part, we had rather see the Hudson River Railroad's list of 'dead and wounded,' than Printem & Sellem's list of 'Popular Publications!' But it is consoling to know that books like 'Daisy's Necklace,' in spite of 'purchased puffery,' find their level at last as linings for portmanteaus and third-rate trunks. We shall make cigar-lighters of our copy, and thank the stars that we were not born a book-making genius!"

Not a line quoted to prove the justice of the unstrained censure! I could not account for the malignant personality of this _critique_, until Barry informed me that my publishers never advertised their books in the columns of the "Frogpond Gazette." This, of course, explained it. I only wish I had the stubborn editor of the "Frogpond" at arm's length, I would try the consistency of his ears.

I was somewhat astonished, the next day, to find how ingeniously Messrs.

Printem & Sellem made the adverse criticism subservient to their interests.

My lucubration was out.

The "Post" said so; the "Morning Rabid" said it; the "Evening Looking-Gla.s.s" said it; and a host of small fry echoed the important fact.

I unfolded "The Rabid," and beheld the following advertis.e.m.e.nt:

"PUBLISHED THIS DAY, _A Novel of Unprecedented Power, ent.i.tled_,

DAISY'S NECKLACE, AND WHAT CAME OF IT.

THE 'FROGPOND GAZETTE,' (high authority), in a long review of this work says: '_Daisy's Necklace is the King of all Novels_.'

'The Blundertown Journal' (also high authority) remarks:

'_This Book is an emanation from the culminating mind of glorious genius!_'

'_Nothing like it has been produced in this century!_'

'_It has all the fine elements of d.i.c.kens' Novels, without any of their numerous defects!_'

Our first edition (20,000 copies) is exhausted, and we beg our friends to have patience for a few days.

WANTED, 4,000 Agents to sell the above work!!

PRINTEM & SELLEM, _Publishers_."

"Four thousand agents!" quoth Barry, looking over my shoulder; "I rather think it would take _forty_ thousand to sell an edition of 'DAISY!'"

I laughed at my irate friend, and, igniting a fresh regalia, crossed my feet on the mantel-piece, and remarked, composedly,

"Now for the Critics!"

FINIS.

ERRATUM.

The Greek of my book-making genius, Ralph ---- Esq., seems decidedly rusty.

He has evidently given his lexicon an icy shoulder. Will the intellectual and erudite reader subst.i.tute _kyrie eleyson_ for _kyrie elyson_ on page 131?

FOOTNOTES:

[A] Mr. Barescythe, with his characteristic word-catching spirit, wishes to know if grapes and cherries are ripe at one and the same time in New-England.

[B] Barescythe says, that the wrong verb used in this paragraph is what editors call "a typographical error."