Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 75

MOLLIE. [_Decidedly and with a touch of impatience._] You know very well, what of it. I don't want Hilda to hear us say one word about moving away from the South Side!

BOB. [_Protesting._] But Mollie----

MOLLIE. [_Interrupting hurriedly and holding her finger to her lips in warning._] Psst!

[_The next instant_ HILDA _enters, left. She is a tall, blonde Swedish girl, about twenty-five years old. She is very pretty and carries herself well and looks particularly charming in a maid's dress, with white collars and cuffs and a dainty waitress's ap.r.o.n.

Every detail of her dress is immaculate._

MOLLIE. [_Speaking the instant that_ HILDA _appears and talking very rapidly all the time that_ HILDA _remains in the room. While she speaks_ MOLLIE _watches_ HILDA _rather than_ ROBERT, _whom she pretends to be addressing_.] In the last game Gert Jones was my partner. It was frame apiece and I dealt and I bid one no trump. I had a very weak no trump.

I'll admit that, but I didn't want them to win the rubber. Mrs. Stone bid two spades and Gert Jones doubled her. Mrs. Green pa.s.sed and I simply couldn't go to three of anything. Mrs. Stone played two spades, doubled, and she made them. Of course, that put them out and gave them the rubber. I think that was a very foolish double of Gert Jones, and then she said it was my fault, because I bid one no trump.

[_As_ MOLLIE _begins her flow of words_ BOB _first looks at her in open-mouthed astonishment. Then as he gradually comprehends that_ MOLLIE _is merely talking against time he too turns his eyes to_ HILDA _and watches her closely in her movements around the table.

Meanwhile_ HILDA _moves quietly and quickly and pays no attention to anything except the work she has in hand. She carries a small serving-tray, and, as_ MOLLIE _speaks_, HILDA _first takes the bouillon cups from the table, then brings the carving-knife and fork from the sideboard and places them before_ ROBERT, _and then, with the empty bouillon cups, exits left_. BOB _and_ MOLLIE _are both watching_ HILDA _as she goes out. The instant the door swings shut behind her_, MOLLIE _relaxes with a sigh, and_ ROBERT _leans across the table to speak_.

BOB. Mollie, why not be sensible about this thing! Have a talk with Hilda and find out if she will move north with us.

MOLLIE. That's just like a man! Then we might not find a house to please us and Hilda would be dissatisfied and suspicious. She might even leave.

[_Thoughtfully._] Of course, I must speak to her before we sign a lease, because I really don't know what I'd do if Hilda refused to leave the South side. [_More cheerfully._] But there, we won't think about the disagreeable things until everything is settled.

BOB. That's good American doctrine.

MOLLIE. [_Warningly and again touching her finger to her lips._] Psst!

[HILDA _enters, left, carrying the meat plates, with a heavy napkin under them_.

MOLLIE. [_Immediately resuming her monologue._] I think my last year's hat will do very nicely. You know it rained all last summer and I really only wore the hat a half a dozen times. Perhaps not that often. I can make a few changes on it; put on some new ribbons, you know, and it will do very nicely for another year. You remember that hat, don't you dear?

[BOB _starts to answer, but_ MOLLIE _rushes right on_.

Of course you do, you remember you said it was so becoming. That's another reason why I want to wear it this summer.

[HILDA, _meanwhile, puts the plates on the table in front of_ BOB, _and goes out, left_. MOLLIE _at once stops speaking_.

BOB. [_Holding his hands over the plates as over a fire and rubbing them together in genial warmth._] Ah, the good hot plates! She never forgets them. She _is_ a gem, Mollie.

MOLLIE. [_In great self-satisfaction._] If you are finally convinced of that, after three years, I wish you would be a little bit more careful what you say the next time Hilda comes in the room.

BOB. [_In open-mouthed astonishment._] What!

MOLLIE. Well, I don't want Hilda to think we are making plans behind her back.

BOB. [_Reflectively._] "A man's home is his castle." [_Pauses._] It's very evident that the Englishman who first said that didn't keep any servants.

[_Telephone bell rings off stage._

MOLLIE. Answer that, Bob.

BOB. Won't Hilda answer it?

MOLLIE. [_Standing up quickly and speaking impatiently._] Very well, I shall answer it myself. I can't ask Hilda to run to the telephone while she is serving the meal.

BOB. [_Sullenly, as he gets up._] All right! All right!

[BOB _exits, centre. As he does so_ HILDA _appears at the door, left, hurrying to answer the telephone_.

MOLLIE. Mr. Espenhayne will answer it, Hilda.

[HILDA _makes the slightest possible bow of acquiescence, withdraws left, and in a moment reappears with vegetable dishes and small side dishes, which she puts before_ MRS. ESPENHAYNE. _She is arranging these when_ BOB _re-enters, centre_.

BOB. Somebody for you, Hilda.

HILDA. [_Surprised._] For me? Oh! But I cannot answer eet now. Please ask the party to call later.

[HILDA _speaks excellent English, but with some Swedish accent. The noticeable feature of her speech is the precision and great care with which she enunciates every syllable._

MOLLIE. Just take the number yourself, Hilda, and tell the party you will call back after dinner.

HILDA. Thank you, Messes Aispenhayne.

[HILDA _exits, centre_. BOB _stands watching_ HILDA, _as she leaves the room, and then turns and looks at_ MOLLIE _with a bewildered expression_.

BOB. [_Standing at his chair._] But I thought Hilda couldn't be running to the telephone while she serves the dinner?

MOLLIE. But this call is for Hilda, herself. That's quite different, you see.

BOB. [_Slowly and thoughtfully._] Oh, yes! Of course; I see! [_Sits down in his chair._] That is--I don't quite see!

MOLLIE. [_Immediately leaning across the table and speaking in a cautious whisper._] Do you know who it is?

[BOB _closes his lips very tightly and nods yes in a very important manner_.

MOLLIE. [_In the same whisper and very impatiently._] Who?

BOB. [_Looking around the room as if to see if any one is in hiding, and then putting his hand to his mouth and exaggerating the whisper._] The Terrible Swede.

MOLLIE. [_In her ordinary tone and very much exasperated._] Robert, I've told you a hundred times that you shouldn't refer to--to--the man in that way.

BOB. And I've told you a hundred times to ask Hilda his name. If I knew his name I'd announce him with as much ceremony as if he were the Swedish Amba.s.sador.

MOLLIE. [_Disgusted._] Oh, don't try to be funny! Suppose some day Hilda hears you speak of him in that manner?

BOB. You know that's mild compared to what you think of him. Suppose some day Hilda learns what you think of him?

MOLLIE. I think very well of him and you know it. Of course, I dread the time when she marries him, but I wouldn't for the world have her think that we speak disrespectfully of her or her friends.

BOB. "A man's home is his castle."

[MOLLIE'S _only answer is a gesture of impatience_. MOLLIE _and_ BOB _sit back in their chairs to await_ HILDA'S _return. Both sit with fingers interlaced, hands resting on the edge of the table in the att.i.tude of school children at attention. A long pause._ MOLLIE _unclasps her hands and shifts uneasily_. ROBERT _does the same_.

MOLLIE, _seeing this, hastily resumes her former att.i.tude of quiet waiting_. ROBERT, _however, grows increasingly restless. His restlessness makes_ MOLLIE _nervous and she watches_ ROBERT, _and when he is not observing her she darts quick, anxious glances at the door, centre_. BOB _drains and refills his gla.s.s_.