Concealed. Part 13

"My senior year of high school, I got pregnant. My boyfriend was a complete jacka.s.s and demanded I get an abortion. I refused, so he told everyone in school it wasn't his and that I was a cheating wh.o.r.e. Because I was nothing more than another pregnant teenager in their eyes, they believed him." Wade's jaw ticked, the only tell that he was unhappy with what she was saying.

"My mother wasn't a very stable person. She struggled with mental illness and was very religious. A dangerous combination for the mother of an unmarried, pregnant teen. She found out about the baby and threw me out of the house with the clothes on my back and a hundred dollars. I lived in a shelter for a few weeks. I wasn't going to let anything hurt my baby so I got a job afterschool as a waitress," she smiled at the irony, "and made whatever money I could. One of the ladies at the shelter noticed how hard I was working and offered to let me have a room in an apartment building her brother owned. It wasn't great. As a matter of fact it was pretty disgusting, but it was mine."

As she went on, Wade sat there silently allowing her to tell her story without interruption. She was sure there would come a point where he would ask questions, but for now, he was content to listen. That helped give her the strength to continue.

"About a month before I was due, I didn't feel well and had started to have some contractions. I went to the clinic where I had been getting my prenatal care and they did an ultrasound. They told me," she covered her face and braced herself to say the words that she'd never had the courage to utter before, "they told me that my baby was dead."

A low curse slipped past Wade's lips and his anger somehow comforted her. "I'm so sorry."

There was no way she could pause even long enough to accept his sympathy. She had to press on. "I was devastated, to say the least. They induced my labor and I delivered this perfect, beautiful, tiny baby girl. She had ten fingers and toes, a dusting of blonde hair, but no heartbeat. I was allowed to hold her, and I told her how much I loved her and all the things that I had dreamed for us. It felt like my heart was being shredded with each second that pa.s.sed because I knew it wouldn't last. I named her Hope and I remember kissing her tiny head and promising to love her forever." Wade reached across the table and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Handing her back to the nurses was the hardest thing I've ever done. When they left, I remember lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what I was going to do. My boyfriend wouldn't care. He'd be happy and tell me it was for the best. My mother would tell me it was a punishment from G.o.d for my sins and that I deserved it. I had already pushed aside dreams of college when I found out I was pregnant, but now, I didn't even have Hope to dedicate my life to. I had nothing. I watched the sun rise out my window and I knew it was time to leave. Not just the hospital, but my life in California as well."

His voice was raspy when he spoke. "What did you do?"

She pulled her hair back into a ponytail then dropped her hands into her lap. "I filled a bag, ga.s.sed up my car, and drove. I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was, with every mile farther away I drove, the better I felt. But I was consumed by images of the baby and retracing my actions over the last few days. Did I do something to hurt her? What could I have done differently?"

At that point he interrupted his voice gentle and words unexpected. "You know it wasn't your fault, right? The doctors, the nurses, someone had to have told you that."

She offered him a weak smile. "I know. I knew it then, but when something like that happens, you can't help but ask yourself why. I found hours had pa.s.sed before I would come out of my own thoughts and I'd have to look at the GPS on my phone to see where I was. I barely made it through the mountains before it got dark. I wanted to get off the highway for a while so I started off on some country roads. I was somewhere south of Billings, Montana, when it happened."

He could sense her anxiety spike and he froze, sitting very still and giving nothing away with his expression. "What happened?"

"It was dark, and I was exhausted. I thought about Hope's tiny face and couldn't stop crying so I pulled over next to this cornfield. G.o.d, it was like I was surrounded by mountains of corn. I don't know if I was on a highway, the interstate, or Farmer Brown's road anymore but I remember the stalks were so tall. I just sat in the car and cried until I couldn't cry anymore." She wiped her eyes and took a few deep breaths and prepared to lay her sins in front of this man that she cared so much about.

Trust him, her inner voice whispered. She held onto that thought and continued.

"I was getting ready to leave when I looked out the windshield and there was this woman. She was disoriented and staggering toward the car, covered in blood. She was in a dirty nightgown with little yellow flowers on it. Don't ask me why I remember that, but they looked to be the same shade as the corn." Sydney lost herself in the memory for a second before snapping back to the here and now. "She looked like she had been attacked by an animal or something so I jumped out of the car and tried to help."

Wade leaned forward on his elbows, intently listening to her every word. She could see him recreating every nuance of the scene in his mind. She was sure he had a million questions, but he waited and let her tell the story.

"Right when I got to her, she collapsed and shoved something at me. At first I thought it was a wad of blankets until I looked closer and I saw there was a newborn baby in them." Sydney glanced over at the stairs thinking of how much bigger that tiny girl was now, but still in the same danger. Nothing had really changed for either one of them.

"There was so much blood. She could barely talk. I wanted to call an ambulance but she just kept begging me to take the baby and get her away from him."

"Who?" Wade asked, knowing a name would be a solid fact he could use to verify in this insane story.

"I didn't know, exactly. The woman said, He's trying to kill her and I couldn't let him have her. "

"Did you ask her what her name was?"

"M-Marcy. Her name was Marcy, but there wasn't time for me to ask her much more. I could hear rustling in the corn and someone coming closer. She panicked, begged me to go and take the baby. I offered to take her to the police but that freaked her out even more. I was about to drag her to my car when I heard him yelling terrible things. He was saying he would kill her when he found her and make her pay."

"Jesus, Sydney."

"I had blood all over me from trying to help her, but it didn't do any good. I couldn't stop the bleeding enough to help her. When I looked over at the baby, I realized there was one thing I could do to help her. The only thing I could. The stalks right next to us started shaking and I could hear him breathing. Watching us. I grabbed the baby and ran for the car as fast as I could."

Wade was like a statue beside her. His expression was calm but she could feel his anger vibrating beneath his skin. The silence was slowly killing her but if he interrupted, she didn't know if she could continue.

"The keys were still in the ignition, so I started to drive away. He jumped through the corn but I didn't stop. He watched me drive away, and the last I saw of him, he was standing over Marcy and had raised what looked like a baseball bat over his head. I couldn't watch anymore so, like a coward, I sped away." Years had pa.s.sed but the emotions were still raw as if it all had happened yesterday. She covered her face and tried to stop shaking. Wade settled into the chair beside her and rubbed his hand along her back.

"I drove. I didn't stop until the car was almost out of gas. The baby was content and just sat in my arms making all those great noises newborns make. I remember looking at her in the moonlight and wondering if this was G.o.d's way of giving me back what he had taken. Logically, I know it doesn't work that way, but to me, at that time, it was sign that we were meant to be. I took it on faith."

"That's where her name comes from."

"Yes." Sydney turned to look into his eyes, something that had terrified her before she started this whole confession but now she needed the truth. If he believed nothing else, he would have to believe this. "I love her as if she were my own. I love her more than that because I love her enough for me and for her mother who couldn't see her grow up. I owe Marcy that. She entrusted me with her daughter and I have every intention of keeping the promise I made her that night. Faith has never wanted for anything. I've worked every day to make sure she is happy, healthy, and well fed. I love her, Wade. I swear that to you."

He took her hands in his and held them for a second before he spoke. If he said she was under arrest she would crumble. "Anyone with eyes knows you love her, Sydney. I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me all of that. It couldn't have been easy." Sydney bit down on her trembling lip as he continued. "I knew you've been hiding something but I never guessed it was all of that."

Her heart fell at the disappointed tone in his voice. She pulled her hands away from him and clasped them tightly in her lap. "You think I'm an awful person. It's okay, I know I'm a horrible woman. You won't be telling me something I don't tell myself every night."

"Actually," he said lifting her chin so he could look her in the eye, "I think you're an angel. If you hadn't taken Faith she could have died that night like her mother at the hands of a monster. Her mother asked you to take her and protect her which I can say you've done. That little girl is happier and healthier than most kids today. You're a good mother, Sydney."

His kind words reopened the floodgates and she cried. She cried for her baby, for Marcy and for all that was taken from Faith by her father. She cried knowing that she would never get to have the life she wanted with Wade and Faith in Elton. It all was going to be taken away from her because of her decisions that day, but she would gladly sacrifice it again for Faith.

"Being a good mother is not necessarily the same as being a good person."

He surprised her when he scooped her up and pulled her into his lap. Sydney had prepared herself to be shouted at or arrested, but the thought that he would still want to have anything to do with her after he knew the truth threw her off balance. She was completely dumbfounded when he brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her. It wasn't a gentle kiss either, it was pa.s.sionate. If his goal was to use his lips to make her forget everything, including her name, mission accomplished.

"So you don't hate me," she gasped when she came up for air. Her whole body warmed at the sound of his deep chuckle.

"No, I don't hate you." He kissed her again, slowly this time, allowing her to savor it and run her hands over his chest. In the arms of this man, she could believe the impossible was possible.

"I have some questions, though," he said as he ended the kiss. "Are you up for it?" Not trusting her voice, she nodded her head. "Good. Do you know who's after you? I need a name."

"I think it's Faith's father. I did some research a few years back. I went online and began trying to retrace what route I might have taken from California. I know it's ridiculous, but I really wasn't paying any attention at all. I have a general idea where in Montana I was when I pulled off the highway. I started looking online at land records to find farms in the area near that exit, and who owned them. It took me months, but I think I finally found the right one. There was a farm owned by a man named Ronald Washington. He was a farmer and a member of the local sheriff's department so that explained why Marcy wouldn't have wanted to go to the police." Wade's head nodded in the affirmative.

"Was there a birth certificate on record for Marcy or a death certificate? Are you sure Washington was her last name?"

Sydney's head swayed from side to side. "I never could find one. But there's a lot of land out there in Montana. Plenty of places to get rid of a body. It breaks my heart to think that he might have buried her out there somewhere."

"Unfortunately, you could be right. Especially if they weren't married. She could have been a woman he had an affair with, too. No way to know. But someone should have reported her missing, I would imagine. I'll look into that when I get back to the station."

Sydney gave him the date this happened and the towns she could remember from when she exited the highway. It was almost six years to the day that Faith came into her life. Wade seemed confident that something would come from his search to give them a lead and he was interested in looking into the police angle. In a small town, it would explain the fear Sydney described in the woman when she brought up the police or 911.

"The only marriage Ronald had was to a woman named Amanda Washington a year later," Sydney said as she searched her mind for the tiniest of details she had found about Ronald.

"Is he still married?"

"I don't know, I haven't checked in a while."

"Did you get a good look at Ronald that night, or have you seen him since? Could you give me a description?"

"No. That night is crazy in my head. I've had so many nightmares about it, and him in particular, that I wouldn't know what was real and what was my imagination anymore. And even though I've felt him watching us or thought that he was coming after us, I never had any real proof until now. There were times I was worried it was all going on in my head, to tell you the truth."

"Because of your mother." She nodded in affirmation as she fidgeted with the b.u.t.ton on her shirt, not wanting to think about having anything in common with her mother.

"The first year we moved around a lot. It was easier because Faith was so small and we didn't have too much to take with us. Then we started staying longer, but odd things would always happen after a few months. Mysterious phone calls, dead animals, something destroyed in our yard. Again, things that could have been explained away by kids, vandals, or honest mistakes, but in my heart I knew it was him."

"So why did you change your last name a year and a half ago? What happened to make you take that step?"

"I started getting calls, daily. The first one came when I was running around trying to make dinner. Faith was crying and someone asked for Sydney Jackson. Because I was distracted, I said 'Yes, that's me', not even thinking. He immediately hung up and I knew I'd made a grave mistake. From then on, whenever we got a call, the person on the other end would sit there and just breathe."

"I a.s.sume you had the cops trace the number that was calling you?"

She shook her head. "What was I going to tell them? The father of the baby I stole is hara.s.sing us?"

"You could have said he was a boyfriend or something."

"And what if they actually tracked him down? I'm sure he would have been more than happy to tell the cops how I stole his daughter. Then I'd be the one in jail and he'd have Faith. There was no record of Marcy's death. I couldn't prove anything on my end, but with a simple blood test he could prove Faith was his child, not mine."

Wade held her and remained silent for a long time. She knew he was digesting every word and it surprised her he wasn't more critical. He hadn't condemned her or questioned her judgment yet, but she could feel it coming.

"You know about my past."

It wasn't a question he asked, just a simple statement of fact. The tone of his voice told her he wasn't going to discuss it, he was making a point.

She whispered, "Agnes told me."

Wade nodded. "We all make mistakes and do things we aren't proud of. But I think it's what you do after the mistake that speaks the loudest about what kind of person you are. Did you make a mistake that's going to have major legal ramifications for you? Yes. But have you given that child a life beyond what she would have had if you had left her behind? Absolutely. No one can question your love and devotion to her."

"Are you disappointed in me?" It felt silly asking him that, but his opinion mattered. She had to know how he saw her, even if it wasn't good. The not knowing was going to kill her.

"I'm disappointed I wasn't there years ago to help you. You did the best you could under the circ.u.mstances, Sydney. I can't tell you what I would've done because I haven't walked in your shoes. But what I know of you now, is amazing." He kissed her on the forehead and slid her off his lap so he could stand up.

"I need to go to the station to look into a few things. I want to know exactly who we're up against and see what I can find out about custody of Faith." Sydney tensed at the mention of Faith and reflexively looked at her emergency pack. Wade picked up on it and took her by the shoulders.

He knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Don't you dare run off on me, Sydney. I swear I don't want to take Faith away from you. I want to make sure you can keep her. Let me help you stop him. You don't have to do this by yourself anymore."

His words seemed like an answered prayer. She wasn't alone anymore. After six long years, she had someone else in this world she could count on. It was invigorating and terrifying to think about. It was everything she had longed to hear, but she still doubted his truthfulness. "Really?" she asked as she reached up to brush her hand along his jaw, to make sure he was real. "I don't know how I can ever thank you."

"Don't leave."

"I don't want anything to happen to you, Wade. I'd never forgive myself if you were hurt because of me."

He caught her chin between his fingers. "I'll be fine. And I swear, I won't let him hurt you or Faith."

She closed her eyes and in a show of extreme trust, picked up her emergency kit with everything they needed to run, and she put it in his hands. A look of relief washed over his face. He nodded and slung it over his shoulder.

"I'm going to make sure the house is secure and then I want you to go to bed and get a good night's sleep. I'll be down at the station and I'll have someone drive by every hour. If you hear anything or think something's not right, you call me and I'll be here in five minutes."

She watched him check every window, door, and closet before he left. As the lights of his car disappeared into the darkness, Sydney crawled into bed with a sense of peace that she hadn't experienced in a long time. Telling him was the hardest thing she'd ever done, but now that it was over, she realized she wasn't alone anymore. She had Wade by her side.

Ronald Washington wasn't gonna know what hit him.

"YOU'RE STILL HERE?" SAM asked Wade just before dawn as he arrived to start his shift. Wade hadn't slept since he left Sydney's and his mood reflected that. The middle finger Wade extended to Sam in welcome answered the question. "Sorry, boss. Who knew you weren't a morning person." Sam went to his desk and began slathering cream cheese onto his bagel.

The great thing about living in a small town was you knew everybody in the area. The bad thing about living in a small town was that everyone knew everyone else's business. Be it relationships, employment, or schedules, nothing was a mystery in Elton which was why Sam was very aware of the fact that Wade had been up all night, a night that wasn't his shift.

"How's Sydney?"

An innocent question but one that still raised Wade's hackles more than it should have.

"She's fine. What do you care?"

His deputy threw up his hands in surrender. "Last night I heard on the scanner you asked for hourly patrols. I thought maybe there was more trouble at her place."

"I'm sorry," Wade said with a groan as he rubbed his hand across his whiskered face. He got up from his chair and poured another cup of coffee. He ignored the tiny grounds that floated as he forced the thick black sludge down his throat. There was still more work to do. "I've been staring at the computer all night trying to figure something out."

"Anything I can do to help?" Sam offered. He was a good kid, hardworking and honest. More than anything, he knew how to keep his mouth shut and was a whiz with computers.

Wade leaned back in the chair at his desk. "I'm trying to find information on someone but I don't have much to go on. I think the name is Ronald Washington and he's from Montana. Six years ago he was living on a farm way outside of Billings. I know he was married to a woman named Amanda, but then about three years ago, they both vanished."

"A lot of folks in that area like to go off the grid from time to time. Anti-government and such. I have a cousin up there who says the mountains are covered with people doing just that. They live off the land, do odd jobs, and get paid cash under the table. Maybe that's what this guy did." Sam skimmed the papers Wade pa.s.sed him. "He sold his farm for a fair amount, but the money never made it into his bank account. If he and his wife did go underground, they would've had a bit of cash to do it."

"But after that sale, I can't find a hit on his social security number for anything. No credit cards, no driver's license, no banks, taxes, or insurance."

"Is he in the system?" Sam's fingers flew over the keys of his computer. "Nothing here in the national database but let me see something." He leaned closer to the screen, his brows furrowed. Wade craned his neck to get a look at what the kid was doing. "Here. There are a bunch of guys with the name Ronald, Ron, or Ronnie Washington in the penitentiary system in Montana. Is it possible one of these guys is your man? You know cons give bad socials all the time or use fake ident.i.ties to try and avoid priors following them. Might want to go through their mugshots and see if you can find him that way. Want me to print this list?"

"Can you cross-reference anyone with that name who might have been a recent release, too?"

"For that, I'd have to make a formal request but it should come back in the next day or two. I'll get it to you as soon as it arrives."

They both stood up and Wade clapped Sam on the shoulder. "Thanks."

Sam nodded in acknowledgement and headed out to start his shift. Knowing the deputy as well as he did, before long Sam would end up finding his way over to Pete's for an early morning cup of coffee and the newspaper. Wade also happened to know the kid was interested in the newest hire at the diner, none other than the coffee scorching Hailey.

Wade returned to his desk to try and finish up a few things, but he was distracted by thoughts of Sydney. He had been thinking a lot about her confession and everything she had told him. In his heart, he knew Faith was better off with Sydney than she ever would have been with her abusive father, but the cop in him, the part of him that believed in the law and rules, was conflicted by her choices.

No matter what happened, he was glad she trusted him enough to share her past, but he found himself struggling with the details. If she was lying about any of it, he was done with her. It wouldn't be easy-he was more attached to her than he realized-but he'd fallen for a liar once, and he swore he'd never do it again. He'd been taken advantage of, had his heart ripped out, and all for nothing. No matter how gorgeous and sweet a woman she was, if Sydney lied, it was over.

Fortunately, everything he'd found so far corroborated her story. She didn't know all the details he had on her before she made her confession, or that he had already connected Sydney Ross to the pregnant high school girl reported by her unstable mother as a runaway, but her story matched exactly with what he knew. He made a few calls overnight and found that she had used a different name when she was at the clinic, probably trying to avoid her mother's, and potentially her boyfriend's, snooping.

On some level, he was more than a bit disturbed at how well she lied. But when he stepped back and looked at it, she did it when she was protecting someone. Her baby, or Faith, especially. She didn't lie for her own gain. That eased his mind somewhat, but the uncertainty lingered.

In all his searching, he couldn't find anything on Marcy. There was no Marcy Washington that he could link with Ronald at any time before or for that short window of time after the incident when he was still on the farm. It was as if she didn't exist. He could search missing children and runaway reports from the western third of the country, but that could take weeks. There were a few Jane Does that had been found in Montana in the months after Sydney found Faith, but before he could begin the process of matching one of those bodies to the woman who was killed by Ronald, he would need a DNA sample from Faith and he was willing to bet his life Sydney would never go for that.

The day had flown past when he was startled by a text message. What flashed across the screen made him feel like a hypocrite.

We need to talk. I'm tired of waiting.

Tara. She'd been hara.s.sing him for about two weeks. She blew into his life every now and then, usually when she needed money, or if she was in trouble with the police somewhere. Mostly she did it just to parade Max in front of him and tear out his heart for the fun of it. He was an idiot for ever getting involved with her. It was ridiculously early for a text from her but she probably had been out all night drinking, or whatever she was into these days, and was just getting home.

Sydney knew the town gossip version of his past and from what she said, she'd caught an eyeful of the two of them in the parking lot, but he highly doubted she knew how often his ex-wife was still slinking around his life, asking for things and threatening to cause trouble.

You have your secrets and I have mine. Sydney's words came back to him and he couldn't help but shake his head. He was just as guilty as she was of withholding the details of his past, and yet he had the nerve to be irritated with her for concealing things from him?