Colder Than Ice Part 21

"Are you going to talk to her about it?"

Michela nodded. "Now we're back here and there's a bit more privacy, maybe I can sit down with her and talk this through." She closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck. She gazed at Sarah. "I really do like her. I wonder if she realizes how much."

Sarah gently patted Michela's back. "Give it time, my friend, give it time."

ALLISON CLOSED THE door of her allocated room and released a sigh. For the first time in a long while she was finally alone. While privacy was a luxury she'd longed for during her time on the ice, it now had a new meaninga" being alone with Michela. Now she could no longer look forward to quiet moments alone with Michela.

Allison pulled from her pack clothes that were sorely in need of a decent wash as she tried work through her confusion over her actions with Michela during the return journey. While she felt as if she'd at last found comfort and loving security in Michela's arms, the thought of returning to civilization and its a.s.sociated pressures clouded her thinking. What do I really want?

She jumped at the knock on her door. She opened it and was greeted by a smiling Sarah. Sarah walked into the small room, jumped onto the bed, and made herself comfortable. Allison smiled. "Come in."

"Thanks, I thought I'd see what you were up to. As surprising as it may seem, Rick and Di made themselves useful while they were back here. Everything's good to go for the trip home." Sarah crossed her outstretched legs. "So, have you got any plans when you get back to Australia? Any possible holiday plans with someone else perhaps?"

Allison blushed, strangely uncomfortable that the relationship between herself and Michela was so transparent. "You know."

Sarah waved her hand. "Of course I do and I have to say it's about time. Most of the eight weeks you two spent together were wasted on dancing around the subject. Sometimes the two of you clash, but most of the time you're right for each other."

Exasperated, Allison flopped down on the bed. "How is it you know we're so right for each other and yet I'm not so sure? I mean, I really do care for Michela, but I'm not certain whether I'm ready to commit to anything and everything that goes with it."

"Have you spoken with Michela?" Allison shook her head. "What is it that concerns you the most?"

"There're so many things. As you said, sometimes we argue like cats and dogs. Not to mention, she's on one side of the world and I'm on the other. What does this mean to her job? h.e.l.l, I didn't even know I was out and now do I have to be? How do I know this relationship isn't a case of two people being thrown together in the right circ.u.mstances and nothing else?"

Sarah took Allison's hands. "I know this is different to what you've experienced before on a personal level, but let me try and clear a few things up. Yes, you argue like cats and dogs, but how long do you really stay mad at each other? Yes, she's on the other side of the world and that's a major hurdle. One that only you and she can overcome. I don't know what it means to Michela's job and as for you, when did anyone say you had to be out? That's a personal choice, Alli, and one I don't think Michela's going to demand as a prerequisite for any relationship."

Allison nodded. "I understand. It's so much to absorb all at once."

"And finally, regarding your last comment, let me ask you one thing." Sarah searched Allison's face. "Do you honestly believe this is no more than a case of two people being thrown together under the right circ.u.mstances? How do you really feel about her?"

Allison closed out all the external pressures and centralized her thoughts, her mind surprisingly clear. She smiled. "She moves me like no one else has ever done. She touches emotional depths I never knew existed. She holds me when I hurt and comforts me through the pain. I've never felt this way about anyone before."

"Then I think you've answered your own question. Mind you, I still think you two need to sit down and talk about it. But, for the moment, were you going to the laundry? I've also got a heap of washing to do."

Allison stood and threw her dirty clothing into her laundry bag. "I do. It's amazing the amount of dirt that piles up after only weeks of basic washing."

MICHELA STRETCHED OUT full-length on her bed, disdainful of the request on the back door to first remove her shoes before lying down. This is so much different to that apple. I particularly like the do not disturb and please make up my room sign that someone s.n.a.t.c.hed from a hotel. Someone certainly had a keen sense of humor. She nuzzled into her pillow and groaned at the knock on the door. She got up, opened the door, and smiled at Maddi, before seeing her tears. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you," Maddi said. "I was wondering if I could speak with you. On a professional basis if I could."

Michela motioned for Maddi to enter and put the "do not disturb" sign on the doork.n.o.b before closing the door.

"What is it? What's happened?"

"It's my father. I just got off the satellite phone to mum. He was working on the roof yesterday and he suffered a ma.s.sive stroke. He died last night in the hospital," Maddi said. "G.o.d, he was my rock. He loved me no matter how many times I caused him to consider otherwise. When I came out all he said was 'you're my daughter and if you're happy then that's all that matters.' I'm so lost without him." Maddi sobbed and fell into Michela's arms.

Michela rested Maddi's head on her shoulder, holding her as she grieved. She raised her eyes at the sound of her door opening, slightly annoyed to think that someone would disregard the sign she'd placed on her door. Allison stood in the doorway, taking in the intimate sight before her. Before Michela could say anything Allison turned and slammed the door.

Controlling her anger, Michela continued to comfort Maddi and finally managed to get her to talk through some of her grief. After an hour of consoling, she helped Maddi back to her quarters and some well-needed rest.

Michela strode toward Allison's room and stormed through the door, not bothering to knock.

Allison jumped up from the bed and glared at Michela. "How dare you enter without knocking!"

"How dare I enter without knocking?" Michela countered. "That's a lesson you could well learn. What part of a 'do not disturb' sign don't you understand?"

"Isn't that convenient, or do you carry one of those with you everywhere you go?" Allison challenged. "You must think it's a great opportunity here, getting the best of both worlds. Isn't one woman enough for you that you have to pursue two?"

Michela couldn't believe she was having this conversation. "Not that it's really any of your business but I was consoling Maddi, not engaging in foreplay."

"Really?" Allison spat back.

Shocked by Allison's venom, Michela closed the door, took a deep breath, and then slowly released it. "Is that what you really think?" she asked quietly. "Do you really believe that I'd think so little of what happened out there between us?" She took a step forward and Allison turned away from her. "Alli, please tell me what you're thinking." Silence was the reply.

Michela shook her head. I should have known. On the trip back to base I should have known where this was heading. She's changed her mind.

"Alli, honey, I can't be in a relationship like this where there seems to be so little trust. I'd never dream of hurting you but you're hurting me now with your silence, can't you see that? Either you trust me or you don't." She put her hand on Allison's shoulder. Allison shrugged it off.

"Please don't," Allison whispered.

"What is it? Speak to me," Michela pleaded.

Allison shook her head. "I can't."

Michela stared at Allison, who continued to focus on the window. "I'm only going to say this once. If I walk out that door, that's it. I'll know that whatever we started out there will have meant so little to you and that I was no more than an experiment." She waited in the silence and then hung her head in resignation. "I suppose it's good-bye." Michela walked out of the room and quietly closed the door.

Allison turned around, tears staining her cheeks. She started for the door and then stopped. She slumped her shoulders, collapsed onto her bed, and wept at how quickly her life had slipped from ideal into a living nightmare.

SARAH CHUCKLED AT the raucous noise emanating from the Wills Station bar. Is that Michela? It sounds like she and Alli managed to square things away. She entered the bar and was surprised to find Michela alone, drunkenly crooning to the jukebox for all she was worth.

Michela swayed with the music and looked at Sarah with glazed eyes. "Sarah! Glad you could make it," she slurred and drank from the mug in her unsteady hand. "These people are all party peep, party pop, party p.o.o.pers. I tried to start a sing along, but they all left me."

Sarah went to Michela's side and stepped back from the reek of alcohol that wafted off her. "Whoa, I think you've had more than your fair share tonight, sailor." She eased Michela into a chair. "Where's Allison?"

Michela flopped into her chair, dropped her mug, and put her head in her hands. "It's over. Over before it even started. She hates me. Won't talk to me," she slurred.

Sarah stared at the change in Michela. "I think you're probably reading it wrong." She pulled Michela from the chair and slung Michela's arm around her shoulder. "Come on, how about we get you to bed and resolve everything in the morning."

Michela staggered as Sarah tried to walk her to the door. "No, she hates me, trust me, she doesn'ta"" She hiccoughed and collapsed in a drunken stupor.

Sarah cursed as she pulled Michela over her shoulder. "That's just b.l.o.o.d.y great, where's Rob when you need him?"

MICHELA WOKE TO a knocking that reverberated around the insides of her skull before seeping out through her eye sockets. She sat up and the room seemed to tilt.

Instinctively she closed her eyes and lay back down.

"Come in."

Sarah entered and closed the door. "I think I'll say morning, because you certainly don't look so good." She sat on the bed and touched the back of her hand to Michela's forehead. "No temperature. Must have been something in the ice cubes last night." She wryly smiled and pulled a bottle of pills from the medicine bag.

Michela opened her eyes and attempted to swallow. She looked around, saw a gla.s.s of water on her bedside table, and greedily drank it. "Just what I need this morninga"a b.l.o.o.d.y glaciologist with att.i.tude."

Sarah unscrewed the top of a water bottle she'd brought with her. "I've no doubt that's just what you need. Especially when the glaciologist, who's also a physician, comes bearing gifts. Here, take these." She gave the water and two pills to Michela.

Michela tried to focus on the pills in her hand. "What are they?"

"They're hangover tablets. While they won't take away the pain completely, they'll bring your system back on an even keel. That, coupled with this," Sarah held up a clear fluid bag, "is going to get you back on track."

Michela frowned. "How do you expect me to drink that?"

Sarah laughed. "I don't. I'm going to cannulate you to replace some of the fluids you've managed to lose over the past twelve hours."

Michela attempted to sit up. "Don't you use big words on me, you d.a.m.ned quack. You're going to stick a big needle into me."

"That's the general idea. Trust me, this'll work wonders. I should know. When I was an intern, I used it after more parties than I care to count. That coupled with the pills should see you good to go in about an hour or so."

Michela winced at the thought of having to tolerate her headache another hour. Watching Sarah, she yelped as the needle penetrated her skin.

Sarah checked the flow of the bag. "Stay there and I'll be back in about five minutes."

True to her word, Sarah strolled through the door a few minutes later with breakfast in hand.

Michela just managed to swallow the bile caused by the smell of food. "What is that?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Sarah put the tray on the bedside table. "It's all part of the cure. It starts with some Vegemite toast. This stuff's chock full of vitamin B and believe me when I say you need all the help you can get with vitamin B. Next, we'll move on to some bacon and baked beans." Michela scrunched her pale face. "The baked beans are another dose of vitamin B and the fat on the bacon will do a great job of lining your stomach."

Michela held her up hand. "Stop. Has anyone ever told you your bedside manner is woeful? Give me the food and let me get this over and done with."

Sarah stood and watched as Michela fought her way through the meal. Michela put the tray on the bedside table, grabbed her cup, and took a sip of black coffee. When Michela was finished, Sarah sat on the bed. "So, do you want to tell me why you got yourself into such a state last night?"

Michela leant back on her pillow. Closing her eyes, she recalled the night before. After leaving Allison, she'd paced the halls in an attempt to vent her frustration and found herself outside the station bar. She opened her eyes and gazed at Sarah. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"I know this must seem like a kind of a role reversal to you, but don't you think it would be better if you did?"

Michela vigorously shook her head and winced. "There's been enough of that already. All I want to do is get on with my life. I want to finish what has to be done here, get on a boat, sail to Hobart, hop on a plane, and head back to the States."

Sarah tilted her head. "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

Sarah folded her arms. "You know, you're so full of c.r.a.p it's a wonder it's not coming out of your eyes. If you think I believe you can switch off your emotions that easily then you're sorely mistaken. I don't know what went on last night and I can't find Allison to ask her. I've no doubt she'd be singing the same tune as you. You need to talk about this. We can do it now or later, but you need to get it off your chest."

Michela gently put her head in her hands to halt the hockey game inside her skull. She patted Sarah's hand. "Not now. It's too soon and there's too much to do. Maybe once we're under way."

Sarah shook her head. "There's no maybe about it. We'll be talking, even if I have to beat it out of you." Sarah rose and checked the drip. "You've got another hour before that runs through. Why don't you sit here and work out the flight schedule for the trip to the ship."

Frustrated, Michela raised her face to the ceiling and sighed heavily, and then gazed at Sarah. "That's today, isn't it?"

"Yep, but fortunately for you the helo's been delayed. We're not expected to see it before midday. Time enough for you to be back on your feet."

Michela smiled that at least something was going right for her. "I guess Alli will need your help for the flight. Can you speak with her and see if she wants you to administer a small relaxant for the helo flight?"

"No problem. Will you be flying with her to the ship?"

Although she wanted to, Michela was fairly certain that Allison didn't want to be around her. "No, I think it'd be for the better if you were to accompany her. I'll make sure everything is good to go here and then catch the last flight."

Sarah nodded and went to the door. "We should be under steam by the end of the day. I'll be back in an hour to take that needle out of you. If you give me the crew manifest then, I'll ensure everyone's made aware of when they're flying."

Michela watched as Sarah closed the door behind her. Despite the combination of the pills and the drip working its magic, Michela felt miserable. What was worse was the knowledge that the misery would be with her for a long time.

SARAH LED A lightly sedated Allison to the helicopter, secured her in her seat, and climbed in the other side. After securing her own safety harness, Sarah turned to Allison, whose attention was focused on something outside. Sarah leant as far forward as the harness would allow and looked across to the edge of the LZ to where Michela was standing, hands shoved into the pockets of her cold weather jacket.

Unable to see Allison's face, Sarah lightly touched her shoulder and Allison turned, her eyes filled with tears. Taking Allison's hand, Sarah leant to her ear to be heard over the engine. "It's okay. It won't be a long flight. We'll be on the ship in no time."

Allison shook her head, her senses dulled by the drugs. "She's leaving me. I thought she'd always be there for me and instead she's leaving me."

Sarah once again stared out the window at Michela on the side of the tarmac. She gripped Allison's hands. "She's not doing that, sweetie. She's going to join us on the boat, you'll see."

Allison shook her head as she wept. "No, she's leaving me, and I don't blame her."

Michela, on the side of the landing pad, patted the pockets of her jacket for her sungla.s.ses to combat the glare of the helicopter's reflective windows. She watched the helicopter rise from the LZ, turn one hundred and eighty degrees and head toward the horizon. She was thankful that Allison was finally safe and on her way.

Maddi waved and crossed the small tarmac to her.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Michela asked.

Maddi sadly smiled. "It's going to take some time before I work through this. I wish you were staying a bit longer so I could talk to you about it."

Michela removed a pen and a small notepad from her jacket. "I think it's about time for me to go. But if you want to talk about it, here's my e-mail address and phone number. Contact me at any time. I'll be happy to help." She tore the page from the notepad and handed it to Maddi.

"Do you have time for a coffee before you go?" Maddi asked.

Michela watched the helicopter that was now a speck on the horizon. "Possibly a quick one. This guy's turn around time is pretty swift."

After a cup of coffee, they returned to the LZ and the waiting helicopter. Michela hugged Maddi and took a final look at the continent that had been her home for about the past eight weeks. After resolutely nodding, she hopped into the helicopter and strapped herself in. At least the first part of her homeward journey would soon be over.

MICHELA SPENT THE sea journey finalizing her report. She avoided most of the team by eating outside the standard meal breaks, and usually in her room. When she ventured onto the decks, she often saw a windswept Allison staring at the ocean. Although she wanted to speak with Allison, she always hesitated. For when Allison saw her, she would return her attention to the ocean. Michela finally stopped going to the deck and kept to her room, seeking solace in her own company.

Michela sighed at the sharp rap on her door after six days of peaceful solitude. She opened the door and found Sarah standing there, an exasperated look on her face. Before she could say anything, Sarah strode into the small room.

Michela closed the door, folded her arms, and leant against the frame. "You know, I'm beginning to wonder whether it's got something to do with me. No one seems to wait to be invited in these days."

Sarah shook her finger at Michela. "Don't you start. I've been checking around and no one's seen you for days." She squinted at Michela's face and lightly pinched her stomach. "When was the last time you had a decent meal?"

Michela blushed. "I had a sandwich this morning, I think." She scratched her head. "What day is it again?"

Sarah lightly slapped her. "It's too long since you ate last, that's what day it is. Now, we're going to have something to eat and you're going to explain exactly what happened at the station. And don't give me that look. That's not going to work. Either we discuss this or I'm not leaving until you do."

Defeated, Michela sat on her bed. "It's too painful to go out. When I do, I run into Allison and by the looks on her face she isn't happy to see me."