Clarissa Harlowe; or the history of a young lady Volume VI Part 32

Ay, cursed creature, cried Sally, who made the first advances?

I have betrayed one trust already!--O let me not betray another!--My lady is a good lady!--O let not her suffer!--

Tell all you know. Tell the whole truth, Dorcas, cried Polly Horton.-- His honour loves his lady too well to make her suffer much: little as she requites his love!----

Every body sees that, cried Sally--too well, indeed, for his honour, I was going to say.

Till now, I thought she deserved my love--But to bribe a servant thus, who she supposed had orders to watch her steps, for fear of another elopement; and to impute that precaution to me as a crime!--Yet I must love her--Ladies, forgive my weakness!----

Curse upon my grimaces!--if I have patience to repeat them!--But thou shalt have it all--thou canst not despise me more than I despise myself!

But suppose, Sir, said Sally, you have my lady and the wench face to face! You see she cares not to confess.

O my carelessness! cried Dorcas--Don't let my poor lady suffer!--Indeed, if you all knew what I know, you would say her ladyship has been cruelly treated--

See, see, see, see!--repeatedly, every one at once--Only sorry for the detection, as your honour said--not for the fault.

Cursed creature, and devilish creature, from every mouth.

Your lady won't, she dare not come out to save you, cried Sally; though it is more his honour's mercy, than your desert, if he does not cut your vile throat this instant.

Say, repeated Polly, was it your lady that made the first advances, or was it you, you creature----

If the lady had so much honour, bawled the mother, excuse me, so--Excuse me, Sir, [confound the old wretch! she had like to have said son!]--If the lady has so much honour, as we have supposed, she will appear to vindicate a poor servant, misled, as she has been, by such large promises!--But I hope, Sir, you will do them both justice: I hope you will!--Good lack!--Good lack! clapping her hands together, to grant her every thing she could ask--to indulge her in her unworthy hatred to my poor innocent house!--to let her go to Hampstead, though your honour told us, you could get no condescension from her; no, not the least--O Sir, O Sir--I hope--I hope--if your lady will not come out--I hope you will find a way to hear this cause in her presence. I value not my doors on such an occasion as this. Justice I ever loved. I desire you will come to the bottom of it in clearance to me. I'll be sworn I had no privity in this black corruption.

Just then we heard the lady's door, unbar, unlock, unbolt----

Now, Sir!

Now, Mr. Lovelace!

Now, Sir! from every encouraging mouth!----

But, O Jack! Jack! Jack! I can write no more!

If you must have it all, you must!

Now, Belford, see us all sitting in judgment, resolved to punish the fair bribress--I, and the mother, the hitherto dreaded mother, the nieces Sally, Polly, the traitress Dorcas, and Mabell, a guard, as it were, over Dorcas, that she might not run away, and hide herself:--all pre-determined, and of necessity pre-determined, from the journey I was going to take, and my precarious situation with her--and hear her unbolt, unlock, unbar, the door; then, as it proved afterwards, put the key into the lock on the outside, lock the door, and put it in her pocket--Will. I knew, below, who would give me notice, if, while we were all above, she should mistake her way, and go down stairs, instead of coming into the dining-room: the street-door also doubly secured, and every shutter to the windows round the house fastened, that no noise or screaming should be heard--[such was the brutal preparation]--and then hear her step towards us, and instantly see her enter among us, confiding in her own innocence; and with a majesty in her person and manner, that is natural to her; but which then shone out in all its glory!--Every tongue silent, every eye awed, every heart quaking, mine, in a particular manner sunk, throbless, and twice below its usual region, to once at my throat:--a shameful recreant:--She silent too, looking round her, first on me; then on the mother, no longer fearing her; then on Sally, Polly, and the culprit Dorcas!--such the glorious power of innocence exerted at that awful moment!

She would have spoken, but could not, looking down my guilt into confusion. A mouse might have been heard pa.s.sing over the floor: her own light feet and rustling silks could not have prevented it; for she seemed to tread air, and to be all soul. She pa.s.sed backwards and forwards, now towards me, now towards the door several times, before speech could get the better of indignation; and at last, after twice or thrice hemming to recover her articulate voice--'O thou contemptible and abandoned Lovelace, thinkest thou that I see not through this poor villanous plot of thine, and of these thy wicked accomplices?

'Thou, woman, [looking at the mother] once my terror! always my dislike!

but now my detestation! shouldst once more (for thine perhaps was the preparation) have provided for me intoxicating potions, to rob me of my senses----

'And then, thus, wretch, [turning to me,] mightest thou more securely have depended upon such a low contrivance as this!

'And ye, vile women, who perhaps have been the ruin, body and soul, of hundreds of innocents, (you show me how, in full a.s.sembly,) know, that I am not married--ruined as I am, by your help, I bless G.o.d, I am not married to this miscreant--and I have friends that will demand my honour at your hands!--and to whose authority I will apply; for none has this man over me. Look to it then, what farther insults you offer me, or incite him to offer me. I am a person, though thus vilely betrayed, of rank and fortune. I never will be his; and, to your utter ruin, will find friends to pursue you: and now I have this full proof of your detestable wickedness, and have heard your base incitements, will have no mercy upon you!'

They could not laugh at the poor figure I made.--Lord! how every devil, conscience-shaken, trembled!--

What a dejection must ever fall to the lot of guilt, were it given to innocence always thus to exert itself!

'And as for thee, thou vile Dorcas! Thou double deceiver!--whining out thy pretended love for me!--Begone, wretch!--n.o.body will hurt thee!-- Begone, I say!--thou has too well acted thy part to be blamed by any here but myself--thou art safe: thy guilt is thy security in such a house as this!--thy shameful, thy poor part, thou hast as well acted as the low farce could give thee to act!--as well as they each of them (thy superiors, though not thy betters), thou seest, can act theirs.--Steal away into darkness! No inquiry after this will be made, whose the first advances, thine or mine.'

And, as I hope to live, the wench, confoundedly frightened, slunk away; so did her sentinel Mabell; though I, endeavouring to rally, cried out for Dorcas to stay--but I believe the devil could not have stopt her, when an angel bid her begone.

Madam, said I, let me tell you; and was advancing towards her with a fierce aspect, most cursedly vexed, and ashamed too----

But she turned to me: 'Stop where thou art, O vilest and most abandoned of men!--Stop where thou art!--nor, with that determined face, offer to touch me, if thou wouldst not that I should be a corps at thy feet!'

To my astonishment, she held forth a penknife in her hand, the point to her own bosom, grasping resolutely the whole handle, so that there was no offering to take it from her.

'I offer not mischief to any body but myself. You, Sir, and ye women, are safe from every violence of mine. The LAW shall be all my resource: the LAW,' and she spoke the word with emphasis, the LAW! that to such people carries natural terror with it, and now struck a panic into them.

No wonder, since those who will d.a.m.n themselves to procure ease and plenty in this world, will tremble at every thing that seems to threaten their methods of obtaining that ease and plenty.----

'The LAW only shall be my refuge!'----

The infamous mother whispered me, that it were better to make terms with this strange lady, and let her go.

Sally, notwithstanding all her impudent bravery at other times, said, If Mr. Lovelace had told them what was not true, of her being his wife----

And Polly Horton, That she must needs say, the lady, if she were not my wife, had been very much injured; that was all.

That is not now a matter to be disputed, cried I: you and I know, Madam ----

'We do, said she; and I thank G.o.d, I am not thine--once more I thank G.o.d for it--I have no doubt of the farther baseness that thou hast intended me, by this vile and low trick: but I have my SENSES, Lovelace: and from my heart I despise thee, thou very poor Lovelace!--How canst thou stand in my presence!--Thou, that'----

Madam, Madam, Madam--these are insults not to be borne--and was approaching her.

She withdrew to the door, and set her back against it, holding the pointed knife to her heaving bosom; while the women held me, beseeching me not to provoke the violent lady--for their house sake, and be curs'd to them, they besought me--and all three hung upon me--while the truly heroic lady braved me at that distance:

'Approach me, Lovelace, with resentment, if thou wilt. I dare die. It is in defence of my honour. G.o.d will be merciful to my poor soul! I expect no more mercy from thee! I have gained this distance, and two steps nearer me, and thou shalt see what I dare do!'----

Leave me, women, to myself, and to my angel!--[They retired at a distance.]--O my beloved creature, how you terrify me! Holding out my arms, and kneeling on one knee--not a step, not a step farther, except to receive my death at that injured hand which is thus held up against a life far dearer to me than my own! I am a villain! the blackest of villains!--Say you will sheath your knife in the injurer's, not the injured's heart, and then will I indeed approach you, but not else.

The mother tw.a.n.ged her d--n'd nose; and Sally and Polly pulled out their handkerchiefs, and turned from us. They never in their lives, they told me afterwards, beheld such a scene----

Innocence so triumphant: villany so debased, they must mean!