Christy Miller's Diary Part 15

I got off work at the bookstore a little early and went to the grocery store. Oh, and how did I get to the store, you may ask? In my new car. Katie sold me her car for $1. As she was getting everything in order to go to Kenya, she asked if I had a dollar.

Then she gave me the pink slip for Clover. (That's what she named her car.) I didn't realize at the time what a huge blessing this is. I have my own car! I've never had my own car. Katie is the most amazing friend.

Anyway, I went to the grocery store to get what I needed to make a nice anniversary dinner. Todd really likes this chicken I make that's coated with breadcrumbs. I found a way to make it so it doesn't get dried out. My mom told me to brush the chicken with mayonnaise and then squirt lemon juice on it before rolling it in the breadcrumbs. I'm not saying it's the most health-conscious recipe, but Todd loves it. So I'm making Todd's Chicken, as we now call it, and baked potatoes and green beans. He's going to be so happy. I even found some coconut mango ice cream, which I know he's going to love.

Todd's Chicken is in the oven, I'm all freshened up, and I set the table and lit candles. I love being married. Hurry home, Todd! I'm ready to celebrate! Happy first anniversary to us!

May 23.

Quick note, Silent Sister.

Guess what I have sitting on our bedroom dresser right now, filling the room with their spicy-sweet fragrance? That's right. A dozen white carnations! Todd walked in the door last night and had his hand behind his back. He had that little boy grin of his, and his dimple was showing. Then he pulled out the carnations, and he kissed me. It was just like the very first time he kissed me in the middle of the intersection when I was fifteen! Well, maybe not exactly like that time because that time Bob and Marti were waiting for me in the car and the light turned green and people were honking at us.

But what was the same was the way that he looked at me right before he kissed me. It was the same look he gave me before our very first kiss, as if our standing there face-to-face was the most amazing and important moment and one that he didn't want to miss for the world. It was so sweet and so rich. His look and his kiss were full of love.

I'm telling you, I could fall in love with this guy all over again.

Now, I have to face reality, don't I? I have to admit that I've come to the last of your lovely, blank pages, dear Silent Sister. Thank you for giving your empty self to me and allowing me to place my many scattered thoughts here for safe keeping. You know I'll keep you for always. I'll visit you many times before my life is over. And hopefully, I won't lose you again for months at a time!

I know that you will continue to make me laugh aloud. You'll probably catch a few more of my salty tears when I read the words that you and my Dear Silent Friend have both graciously held for me all these years.

Perhaps one day you'll see an unfamiliar pair of eyes scanning your pages, and you'll feel a different pair of hands holding you. Those eyes and those hands will quite possibly belong to my daughter. (And no, I'm not trying to drop a surprise on you here. Todd and I aren't expecting a baby. But I hope we will someday.) And if we do have a daughter and if she grows up and wants to know what I was like when I was her age, I will invite her to read the words you've so patiently held for me because I'll want her to know that what she's feeling is normal. And I'll want her to know that her mother was a goof sometimes. And was overly emotional sometimes. But more than anything, I'll want her to see the ways that G.o.d worked in her mother's and father's lives. These entries will give evidence that we were a couple of a G.o.d Lovers who were extremely blessed.

And she will also know that even before she was conceived, she already was tucked away in a special corner in the secret place in my heart.

Forever, Christina Juliet Miller Spencer.

(Kilikina).

end.