Chords Of Strength Part 6

I don't know if I'll ever completely come to terms with the idea of being a "pop star." First of all, to me, I'm not even in the same league as what I consider to be a pop star. I just want people to know that I am truly happy to be here, whatever "here" means! When I first heard someone refer to me that way, I was put off, thinking that it carried such negative connotations. But now, I have redefined what I think a pop star really is-and through this new perspective, I have more respect for the whole thing. A pop star is someone who works hard to communicate and share their talent with other people, and someone who is committed to improving and excelling at what they do. It is someone who consistently uses their G.o.d-given talent to work hard and progress.

Sometimes you never know where the inspiration or feeling will come from To get people to respect your music: I think that's really the goal. In general, the artists that I respect the most are the ones who cannot just sing songs in many different styles, but whose personality ties their body of work together. There is nothing more interesting than diversity and range; but to me, it's just that much cooler when within all that range there's the common denominator of the artist's unique personality and character.

I think Beyonce is an example of "the ultimate pop star" and, of course, the king himself, Michael Jackson. I was performing at a show in New Jersey when I found out about his death. At first, I thought someone was making some kind of cruel joke. I thought it was an Internet rumor or there would be some other explanation that would account for this totally unbelievable piece of news. Michael was definitely always one of my major influences ("Man in the Mirror" is one of my favorite songs), and I think his love for music showed. You could see it when you watched him or listened to him; and you could always see his love of people. His spirit was sweet and sunny. I think he really understood what music could do for people. He communicated through his music and you could feel his love for people through it more than anything.

As I said, I strongly believe that fame brings with it the opportunity to help other people. You can use your name for the purpose of doing good, as opposed to just being tabloid material all the time. You can actually make a difference. I feel that all celebrities should take this responsibility seriously and take advantage of their position to spread positive messages. I hold this as a top priority as I move further along in my career; whatever "status" I have will be as much for others as it is for myself, because fame is nothing without generosity and kindness. I have been able to rally behind several great charities and it has been so rewarding to see how much my fans have also gotten involved. I'm amazed at the service and donations they have contributed to these causes like Rising Star Outreach, Make-a-Wish, MS Society, Do Something.org, Stand UP for Cancer, Invisible Children, and the Haiti Disaster Relief efforts. I want to recognize the commitment and personal sacrifices that all the various fan sites make to respect and support me and the causes we are involved with. It makes me so proud to have fans who show through their enthusiasm and actions that they really want to give. It is the greatest way they can show their support of me, and I hope they all know how much I appreciate what they do. I was so honored to be a partic.i.p.ant in the Haiti Telethon in Hollywood and then to be a part of the "We Are the World" ("Somos el Mundo") in Spanish in Miami, and to see all these performers who were willing to give of their time and status to help those in need. If I'm going to sacrifice my privacy to be in the public eye, let it be for a good cause such as these. Let any sense of fame that comes to me matter for these kinds of reasons.

Another part of my future without question is school. I don't want to be off the hook just because I had some amazing opportunities as a young person. Instead, I want to maximize those opportunities by committing myself to my development as a person. Education is definitely part of that agenda, and despite the crazy road trip that has become my life, I'm determined to find the balance somehow. I've been trying to do some schoolwork online, but it is really difficult when you are recording, rehearsing, and touring all at the same time. My intention is to work on finding this balance because I hope to go to college someday. I love the idea of studying philosophy, which has always been a subject that really interests me. Cla.s.ses like that get your brain working and engage you to start thinking about the mysteries of life. Besides, I'm young, and while the singing thing is going wonderfully right now, you never know where life is going to take you. I want to be prepared for anything, and I definitely don't want to be one-dimensional. There are moments when I have the feeling that this has all been too much, too soon. Moments when I think to myself, Am I really ready? Am I really ready? I don't kid myself about how young I am, and the fact that a life in entertainment is fast-paced, public and a lot of times stressful. Sometimes I ask myself if I really have what it takes. But in those moments, I remind myself that it's all about putting my trust in G.o.d. He wouldn't have given me this chance if I were not able to handle it despite how unready I really felt. He was the one who motivated me to audition in the first place and I don't think He would have allowed me to get this far if I wasn't capable of the challenges that surround it. I don't kid myself about how young I am, and the fact that a life in entertainment is fast-paced, public and a lot of times stressful. Sometimes I ask myself if I really have what it takes. But in those moments, I remind myself that it's all about putting my trust in G.o.d. He wouldn't have given me this chance if I were not able to handle it despite how unready I really felt. He was the one who motivated me to audition in the first place and I don't think He would have allowed me to get this far if I wasn't capable of the challenges that surround it.

I figure each moment prepares you for the next one, so that by the time you reach the point in the future that you were so worried about, you are ready for it. This concept helps calm me down when I feel overwhelmed by what's ahead. I never think that I'm going to be ready for anything; but when it is right in front of me I usually end up surprising myself. If I have to leave you with one thing, it is that you should always be willing to follow your instincts. Our instincts, which you could also call our inner voice or our conscience, knows what's best for us, and tempted as we all tend to be to stifle that voice, we have to remember-it knows. It knows the deepest things about us. If I hadn't followed my instincts, I'd probably still be running sound tech at the Murray Amphitheater right now. Maybe many of us are discouraged from listening to our conscience because of the pressures we get from society to pursue other types of achievements. Everyone has their reasons for doing (or not doing) what they do. But it is now my deep belief that when you follow your gut, you almost always end up where you need to be. Deep inside, we know our own truths, so it is our job to pay attention to the rumblings of our soul.

. . . fame brings with it the opportunity to help other people.

As for myself, my conscience told me a profound truth about myself that essentially ignited me. It provided me with the answers when my life was all questions; it fueled me with faith when I wasn't sure what was best for me. It connected me with the parts of myself that would always matter most, and I know that it will continue to guide me as I move forward in my life. My conscience led me to give music another try and, in turn, has led me to great personal joy. I hope that my story has in some way inspired you to trust your own instincts, to follow your conscience, to have faith in yourself, so that you too can find joy and happiness.

And remember, even when you can't sing, you can always plant a tree. . . .

MUSICAL APPENDIX.

I was very fortunate to have been exposed to a wide variety of music and artists since I was young. This has definitely influenced my approach to singing and performing, as well as what I am now trying to get across in the songs I write. Every new song that I hear teaches me some unique lesson; it invites me to listen and learn from its structure and lyrics the emotional essence of the song. To this end, I have been a student of songs since I was quite young, reading several volumes of different Billboard books, trying to understand what songs were popular over the years, and more importantly, why they were popular. was very fortunate to have been exposed to a wide variety of music and artists since I was young. This has definitely influenced my approach to singing and performing, as well as what I am now trying to get across in the songs I write. Every new song that I hear teaches me some unique lesson; it invites me to listen and learn from its structure and lyrics the emotional essence of the song. To this end, I have been a student of songs since I was quite young, reading several volumes of different Billboard books, trying to understand what songs were popular over the years, and more importantly, why they were popular.

There have been so many songs over the years that moved me intensely and they continue to so. I thought I would leave you with a list of some of my all-time favorites, a wide range of music that tells many different stories and communicates many kinds of feelings. Here they are:

SOME OF MY FAVORITE SONGS:.

1. Joy Williams, "Every Moment." A really positive song from someone I really look up to as a person, not just as an artist.2. Natasha Bedingfield, "These Words." This song inspired me to start writing. Natasha is willing to try new things and her lyrics are so relatable.3. Tracy Chapman, "Fast Car." The first time I heard this song, I had goose b.u.mps the entire time. After that, I couldn't stop listening to it. It's a song that lets me escape from everything.4. Boston, "More Than a Feeling." I'm not really sure what I loved about this song so much, but it put me in a trance or something-I kept listening to it over and over. I still love it and it's one of my favorite songs.5. Karen Clark-Sheard, "Higher Ground." A song that talks about moving forward in life and keeping hopes up. Her singing is amazing.6. Kirk Franklin, "Imagine Me." Another song that helps to remind you of the important things in life and keeps you strong. This alb.u.m was the first time I really started listening to Gospel music.7. Manhattan Transfer, "Birdland." I love the harmonies in this song and how it's so unique.8. John Mayer, "Dreaming with a Broken Heart." John Mayer is amazing because of the natural sense of groove that he brings to each song. He always shows tremendous musicianship. His music is always interesting, never boring, and people really respect him as a musician. This song is about making a difference, and it happened to be my favorite song when I first auditioned for Idol Idol. It was the first song that people heard me sing live on TV, so it will always have a special place in my heart.9. Queen, "Bohemian Rhapsody." I don't really need to explain the greatness of this song! I'm one of the many who was greatly inspired by Queen.10. Led Zeppelin, "Kashmir." This song showed me how much you could do with a song and that you don't have to follow the typical route for creating music.11. Yes, "Roundabout." Another song I love for how different and creative it is. The chord progression in this song is so cool, and all its different sounds and changes make it totally unique. The song never gets boring, and it's eight minutes long!12. Mariah Carey, "b.u.t.terfly." Simply one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.13. Deborah c.o.x, "n.o.body's Supposed to Be Here." I love the power and emotion in her voice.14. Joni Mitch.e.l.l, "Help Me." The first Joni Mitch.e.l.l song I ever heard, and I listened to it nonstop.15. Stevie Wonder, "Sir Duke." A great song explaining what music's all about, by a guy who represents what music's all about.16. Michael Jackson, "Black or White" and "Man in the Mirror." Some of my favorite Michael Jackson songs. "Black or White" has such a catchy guitar riff, and it just makes me feel good. I think all of Michael's music makes you move in some way. He has without a doubt been one of my greatest influences, as I grew up listening to his music almost religiously.17. Seal, "Waiting for You." He's such a brilliant songwriter, and I love the tone of his voice.18. TLC, "Waterfalls." I listened to this song so much when I was a kid. I love it because it brings back memories of when I was younger. It's a song that makes you feel happy and a maybe a little sad, too. In general, the music of TLC showed this amazingly sweet groove that I loved for a good part of my childhood.19. La India, "Nunca Voy A Olvidarte." "Nunca Voy A Olvidarte." Such a great cover because she really delivers these lyrics with so much pa.s.sion and emotion. I also love the changes in the song, and how it captures the flavor essence of Latin American music. Such a great cover because she really delivers these lyrics with so much pa.s.sion and emotion. I also love the changes in the song, and how it captures the flavor essence of Latin American music.20. Alanis Morissette, "Uninvited." This has a haunting melody that gives me goose b.u.mps.21. Selena, "Amor Prohibido." "Amor Prohibido." One of the first artists I ever liked listening to. One of the first artists I ever liked listening to.22. Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth, "For Good." A song about appreciating how someone has changed your life.23. Jackie Allen, "When Will I Ever Learn." I love this cover. It's always allowed me to calm down when things were crazy.24. Kelly Rowland, "Stole." I love the blend of styles in the song, and the sad story.25. Natalie Cole, "Pink Cadillac." The tone of Natalie's voice was so captivating to me when I was little, and this song in particular made me crazy. I would play it on repeat for months on end when I was nine or ten years old. I'm not sure what drew me to it, but I was obsessed. It's one of the first songs I liked that had kind of a soulful groove to it.26. Imogen Heap, "Wait It Out" and "Hide and Seek." Such unique songs. I love anything Imogen sings, actually. She's never trying to be good or catchy-she simply tries to show emotion through her songs. She dares to be different, and you can hear it in every one of her songs. She chooses chooses to be interesting, which to me is always the secret of amazing music. I love the pride she takes in being experimental. to be interesting, which to me is always the secret of amazing music. I love the pride she takes in being experimental.27. Paul McCartney, "Maybe I'm Amazed." One of the best cla.s.sic songs. Great emotion in his voice.28. Eva Ca.s.sidy, "What a Wonderful World." One of the greatest songs ever ever. Eva has taught me so much about the power music has. I don't know of anyone who sings more sensitively. She brings out the emotion in both the lyric and the music.29. Jason Mraz, "Beautiful Mess." He's a genius. His lyrics are just amazing, and I love his music.30. U2, "One." I love how their songs are so big and powerful. So much pa.s.sion in them.31. Sara McLachlan, "Arms of the Angel." One of those songs I used to sing when I was nine or ten that allowed me to really escape, and be in a different place.32. Tori Amos, "Silent All of These Years." I love how simple and beautiful this song is, allowing you to really pay attention to her story and what she has to say to people.33. Dave Brubeck, "Take Five." I love the melody to this cla.s.sic jazz song, which always gets stuck in my head.34. Brandi Carlile, "The Story." She's such a powerful singer, she pours out her emotion throughout the whole song.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

I'D LIKE TO thank G.o.d for the many blessings He gives and continues to give. I've had so many opportunities that I never imagined could happen, and owe Him for the strength and the guidance. I hope this is another opportunity that I've taken advantage of to serve others and to glorify His name. thank G.o.d for the many blessings He gives and continues to give. I've had so many opportunities that I never imagined could happen, and owe Him for the strength and the guidance. I hope this is another opportunity that I've taken advantage of to serve others and to glorify His name.

My mom and dad are the ones who have raised me and have really influenced all the experiences I've gone through in my life. They are the ones who have taught me how to handle it all, and I'm so grateful for their continued support.

I can't thank my brother and sisters enough for putting up with me all the time. Claudia, Daniel, Jazzy, and Amber: I know you guys deal with a lot but I appreciate how you never have changed the way you see me, for caring and for always being there.

I owe so much to the work that Monica Haim has put into this book. Thank you, Monica, for trying to be as understanding as you could with my stories and trying to preserve my character in here. I know it has been a lot of work for you, and I am glad I was able to have the opportunity of talking to you all these times and share these stories with you personally. Thanks for doing your best and putting so much effort into it.

I'd like to thank my publisher, Raymond Garcia, for going way beyond the call of duty to make sure I was happy with this book, as well as Tracy Bernstein, Kim Suarez, Kara Welsh, and everyone else at Penguin marketing, publicity, and sales.

I would also like to give my grat.i.tude to "Maddy." You rock! Ha ha!

There are so many of my friends that have directed me to great experiences and wonderful moments in my life. I'm thankful for each of your contributions to my life. Some of them may have only been simple things, but they have been life changing and so influential. Thanks for continuing to teach me and share your advice with me.

I'd like to give a shout-out to my extended family, who were also a big part of raising me to become who I am today. My grandparents, my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, and all other family members who have been such a blessing in my life.

To all the people that I work with, I appreciate all the work you guys do! Thanks for encouraging me to do this project, and for making sure things run smoothly. Jared, Josh, Lauri, and the others who have helped with this book.

I'm so grateful to the fans who have allowed me to do music and continue my journey beyond what I ever thought I could do. This book is dedicated to you guys, and I hope by sharing these stories and thoughts with you that you will be able to grab and learn something from it. I hope that there is something in here for each one of you and that you will have a better understanding of why I am who I am.