Cate Of The Lost Colony Part 4

And d.a.m.n me that I was so surprised by that silly handkerchief I lost my chance to kiss her.

To C.A.

Over the "C" is my newfound land, My America, north and south, I'd explore you with this hand Claim you with my mouth.

O let me but sail my bark Into your shimmering bays There to anchor my heart All my remaining days.

Chapter 6.

Spies and Savages I committed Walter Ralegh's poem to memory. In my dreams I let him explore me with his hands and lips and woke up blushing. I imagined standing beside him on the deck of a ship bound for the New World, where strange men lived who had no idea we were coming to dwell among them. But I told no one, not even Emme, of my fantasies. committed Walter Ralegh's poem to memory. In my dreams I let him explore me with his hands and lips and woke up blushing. I imagined standing beside him on the deck of a ship bound for the New World, where strange men lived who had no idea we were coming to dwell among them. But I told no one, not even Emme, of my fantasies.

Meanwhile my mistress had no time for jealousies or jests. There were fresh rumors that her Catholic enemies were plotting to put her cousin, Queen Mary of Scotland, on England's throne. Though Mary had been forced to abdicate her throne and had been held captive for seventeen years, she still had many allies, both in England and abroad. And Mary had one great enemy, Sir Francis Walsingham, who could see a Spanish plot in even the most innocent event.

One day I saw the spymaster, his cap pulled closely about his ears, enter the queen's privy chamber. With him was the Earl of Shrewsbury, who guarded Queen Mary at Sheffield Castle. While Emme kept watch in the hallway, I tiptoed to the door and listened at the keyhole. The queen was speaking. Her voice was sharp and urgent.

"We threw Mendoza out of the country, but his spies are everywhere." Mendoza was the Spanish amba.s.sador, whom everyone knew to be a devious little man. "No doubt they hide among my cousin's servants, seeking the chance to free her."

I heard Walsingham reply, "You underestimate me, Your Grace. Many of Mendoza's spies are in fact my my spies." spies."

But the queen was not pacified. "Mary betrays me and and she bleeds me dry. She keeps a household of fifty at my expense. I cannot trust a single one of her servants. Dismiss them all." she bleeds me dry. She keeps a household of fifty at my expense. I cannot trust a single one of her servants. Dismiss them all."

"But Your Majesty insisted that she be treated with the respect due a fellow monarch," Shrewsbury said.

"You coddle her," accused the queen. "Has she has turned your head, too? Bewitched you with her charms?"

Shrewsbury began to protest but Elizabeth interrupted him. "Read every letter that goes in or out, search every sc.r.a.p of linen sent to the laundry, every barrel, box, and hogshead of wine that is delivered, even check her chamber pot."

"We already do, Your Majesty," said Walsingham. "Be a.s.sured that I shall ferret out any evil. It shall not harm you."

"Let no one harm her, either," said the queen in a dire tone. "But be warned, My Lord of Shrewsbury, if a rebellion occurs while she is in your care, then you have betrayed me as well!"

Emme and I hurried away before anyone should open the door and discover us. Back in our dormitory, I asked Emme why the queen so hated her cousin.

"Why, Queen Mary is younger than our Elizabeth and said to be very beautiful. She has been married twice already, and she has a son."

"While our queen has no one to succeed her," Frances put in, overhearing us with her big ears.

"So she is jealous of her cousin, and afraid of her, too," I said, finally understanding. "But what will she do if she finds proof of a plot?"

"Why, she will have Queen Mary's head cut off. That is the punishment for treason," said Frances with relish.

I shuddered. With the queen so jealous and fearful of betrayal, it would be unwise of me to meet her favorite courtier in secret. So I wrote to Ralegh that I could not see him, but he persisted in sending me letters and verses. I read them with pleasure, then tied them in the handkerchief embroidered with the queen's initials and hid the bundle in the bottom of my coffer, beneath a pair of shoes I had outgrown.

It would have been wiser to burn them.

In September, Walter Ralegh's ships returned and word sped through Whitehall that the captains had brought back not one, but two savages. They dwelt at Durham House, where Ralegh saw them daily. I wrote to him-an innocent letter, begging only for a description of them-but I received no reply. Nor had he sent so much as a sc.r.a.p of poetry in a month's time. But how could I be jealous, when it was not another lady but two warriors who had captured his fancy?

Finally the day arrived when the savages were to be presented to Queen Elizabeth. Rumors abounded concerning their great stature, fierce aspect, and the sharpness of their teeth. But had they been more dangerous than a menagerie menagerie full of wild animals, nothing could have kept me from court that day. full of wild animals, nothing could have kept me from court that day.

For the occasion the queen wore a new gown of brown velvet and a green taffeta bodice. The matching skirt was embroidered in gold with leaves and birds. I believe she was almost as excited as I was, for she could barely hold still as Lady Veronica tucked pins into her ruff, her bodice, and her train to hold them in place.

"I would be appareled like the Earth herself, for her best creatures should not look more glorious, more natural than I do," she said, admiring herself in the gla.s.s. Three gold chains about her neck and a headdress of gold wire set with emeralds completed her costume. I had never seen her look more elegant-or more artificial.

Wanting to be noticed myself, I chose a bodice and skirt of pale rose silk with sleeves slashed and pinked after the fashion. I now had a small wardrobe of my own, thanks to my salary from the queen and a small allowance from my father's estate. I even had a small strand of pearls which I wore because I knew that Ralegh liked pearls. I longed to see him almost as much as I did the savages.

The banqueting house had not seen such ceremony since the days when the queen courted Monsieur Monsieur. The ceiling was hung with foliage, where songbirds twittered, their melodious calls echoing in the cavernous hall. The October sunlight streamed in the mult.i.tude of windows and glittered on the gilded pillars as the queen made her entrance, heralded by trumpets and flanked by guards in red coats trimmed in black velvet. The spectators who filled the benches facing the center of the hall greeted the queen with cheers and applause. Her n.o.blemen wore breastplates and swords, befitting the ceremonial occasion. Elizabeth mounted the dais, and Emme and I spread out her train as she sat upon a low-backed chair with her ladies arrayed around her.

I heard scarcely a word of the queen's speech, for my attention dwelt on Ralegh, on the glossy hair that curled over the engraved gorget around his neck, on his velvet suit and the matching cloak worn over one shoulder. I imagined the number of pins required to keep it from sliding off and envied the valet who helped him dress. He stepped forth to present the queen with an oyster sh.e.l.l filled with pearls and spoke in praise of her virtue and her G.o.dly empire. All these words only made everyone more restless for the true objects of wonder still to appear.

When Ralegh finished his speech, a fanfare sounded. Two creatures of the most striking appearance stepped into the hall and were met with exclamations of awe. Their black hair was closely cropped on one side but chest-length on the other and plaited with feathers. Their skin was the color and sheen of polished rosewood and their feet were bare. Indeed, their bodies were mostly naked, except for the animal skins covering their loins. Disapproving noises came from Frances, but I felt no shame to look on them as they approached the dais. So this was the state of nature in which man dwelt without kings, laws, religion, and government. So this was the state of nature in which man dwelt without kings, laws, religion, and government. The thought filled me with wonder and a strange longing. The thought filled me with wonder and a strange longing.

As they drew nearer, I saw that one of the Indians had a nose like a hawk's beak and a proud look. He wore a woven cloak trimmed with colored beads. His taller companion, to my surprise, seemed no more than a youth, his face unlined. He wore furs draped over his shoulders. His chest bore raised markings, like blisters, and were painted with white and black streaks. I had never seen a man's chest before, and was surprised to glimpse dark buds there, like my own chest before my b.r.e.a.s.t.s began to grow.

Feeling heat rise to my face, I shifted my gaze to the young Indian's face and willed him to look back at me. "Emme, he is magnificent!" I murmured behind my hand. He held himself motionless, but his black eyes flitted from side to side. For a brief moment they met my own.

At a signal from Ralegh, the two Indians bowed stiffly to the queen, who held out her hand, which they touched with their own rather than kissed. They then allowed themselves to be led around the hall-like bears in an arena, I thought-while the spectators covered their eyes or stared in awe, pointed, and even cried out in amazement.

My gaze followed the n.o.ble figures as I wished for a longer glimpse of the tall one's face, that I might look into the dark gla.s.s of his eyes and see another world revealed there.

Chapter 7.

From the Papers of Walter Ralegh 4 November 1584My dear brother Carew,I have good news of the voyage. My captains brought home two fine natives, Manteo and Wanchese. Now fitted with taffeta shirts and hose, they look like Englishmen, if one ignores their nut brown skin and coa.r.s.e black hair. The scholar Harriot spends long hours with them and grows fluent in their tongue, which is called Algonkian. In turn they prove remarkably adept at learning English, though they speak in a rough and halting manner still.Manteo is the younger and more agreeable of the two savages. He shares his knowledge of the useful commodities afforded by the land and the tribes and their manner of warfare. While Manteo is of an open and trusting disposition, Wanchese is reserved and suspicious. I think he was taken from his village without his consent-which was against my instructions. Manteo, however, promises to be a valuable guide and ally.Tell the lords and gentlemen of Devonshire that those who become investors will be among the first and the few to meet my Indians, who love to tell of the abundance of that New World.Your brother,W. RaleghCapt. Arthur Barlowe to Walter Ralegh23 November 1584I submit some notes toward my report. I know you desire to circulate said report as soon as it is completed, in order to feed the curious and capitalize on the public's interest in the New World.Arthur Barlowe's Discourse of the First Voyage to Roanoke IslandOur safe arrival was auspicious. The sh.o.r.e very sandy and yet full of grapes growing bountifully there and on the green soil of the hillsides, climbing toward tall stands of cedars. The air so sweetly scented, like a delicate flower garden, that it seemed we had entered into a new paradise. ... The Natives Show Their Friendship. The Natives Show Their Friendship. Wingina, the king of the Roanoke, and his goodly warriors entertained us and we traded with them to our great advantage. A copper kettle fetched fifty skins! The king's brother clapped a tin dish to his chest, making signs that it would defend him against his enemy's arrows. ... They hold us and our ships and weapons in marvelous admiration. Wingina urged us to go against the chief Piemac.u.m, a.s.suring us of the great commodities in his town. But whether it was for the friendship he bore us or to take revenge on his enemy, we could not determine, nor did we wish to engage in their disputes. Wingina, the king of the Roanoke, and his goodly warriors entertained us and we traded with them to our great advantage. A copper kettle fetched fifty skins! The king's brother clapped a tin dish to his chest, making signs that it would defend him against his enemy's arrows. ... They hold us and our ships and weapons in marvelous admiration. Wingina urged us to go against the chief Piemac.u.m, a.s.suring us of the great commodities in his town. But whether it was for the friendship he bore us or to take revenge on his enemy, we could not determine, nor did we wish to engage in their disputes.Of Their Way of Life. Their boats are made from the trunk of a single tree, which they hollow by burning and sc.r.a.ping with sh.e.l.ls. By such means they fashion shallow boats, called canoes, that carry twenty men. Their boats are made from the trunk of a single tree, which they hollow by burning and sc.r.a.ping with sh.e.l.ls. By such means they fashion shallow boats, called canoes, that carry twenty men.A savage fishing from his canoe filled his boat almost to sinking within half an hour. As well as the waters, the land is bountiful, providing fat bucks, conies, deer, and all manner of edible plants: melons, walnuts, pease, and fruits, and especially their white corn, which they are able to reap three times in a single season.In short: a people most gentle, loving, and faithful, lacking guile and treason, and living after the manner of the golden age. The earth bringing forth abundance, without toil or labor. The winters short, but no shortage of meat. The rivers teeming with mussels yielding valuable pearls ... etc.I agree there is little benefit in publishing the difficulties of our journey and the waywardness of some of the savages.Despite the perilous shallows around the island of the Roanoke, it is favorably located. From there you may launch raids upon the Spanish and interrupt their trading.With every good hope for the colony's future, I remain your devoted servant,Arthur BarloweP.S. Allow me also to suggest that our first object upon returning to the island must be the erection of a fort. (As a matter of prudence.) Memorandum 15 December 1584. Wanchese has contracted smallpox and must be isolated, especially from Manteo. He grows fearful of the boils on his flesh and babbles in his own tongue. Will not let the doctors near. Does he think we poisoned him? He is sure to become even more suspicious. If he recovers.

28 December 1584. An attempt to a.s.sa.s.sinate our beloved queen has failed, G.o.d be praised! A doctor in league with the Jesuits accosted Her Majesty as she walked in the garden at Richmond. But then he lost his courage and found himself unable to carry out the deed.

May fortune and grace preserve our queen, for while she lives, I prosper. Should she die-and with none to succeed her-papist minions of the Scottish queen stand ready to rise.

That would be the downfall of all my dreams.

Wanchese recovers, but his face will be badly scarred. He has lapsed into a sullen silence.

10 January 1585Dear Carew,Your brother's striving and seeking have been rewarded at last by the royal mistress of his heart and fortune, who has granted him the honor of knighthood.Furthermore she has appointed me lord and governor of the land to be named VIRGINIA in her honor. Mine is the task of colonizing the coastal areas and all the interior, bringing the inhabitants under Her Majesty's sway. She grants the use of her own ship, the 180-ton Tiger, Tiger, and 2,400 lbs. of gunpowder for the next voyage. and 2,400 lbs. of gunpowder for the next voyage.I wish she had compounded the honor with money. But her nod may induce many of her n.o.bles to invest, as well as merchants. Indeed, who could could resist the prospect of plunder coupled with the profits from trade in timber, pine resin, furs, etc.?To you only, Carew, I confess my high ambitions while I pledge to serve my sovereign mistress. May the sun shed her "golden" light on all our endeavors.Your honored brother,Sir Walter Ralegh Memorandum 4 February 1585. Her Majesty visited today accompanied by ladies, among them C.A. She appears more womanly than when I last saw her. In fact, I deem her almost a beauty. How could I have forgotten her for almost three months?

The queen looked paler than usual, making the vermilion on her cheeks glow like fever spots. She fretted about an eclipse to occur on 9 April. "You must delay your voyage, for my astrologers predict disasters on that day."

Hiding my disdain of such predictions, I replied, "For your sake I will not sail, but remain here to serve you." (I had already decided to forgo the risk of a voyage until the certainty of reward should outweigh it.) "My dear Warter, you know how thirsty I can be," she said, as coy as a maid thirty years younger. "It makes me glad to know you will stay."

"Let storms and tempest do their worst; water but quenches, ne'er drowns your thirst," I rhymed, to her delight.

Yet she whom I truly wished to please with my verse did not regard me, but was agog over Manteo. The ladies seemed amazed to behold him (and the silent Wanchese) clad like gentlemen. "Frances needn't have refused to come," Lady Anne remarked, hiding behind her fan as if she feared to look upon them. But my C.A. had no such qualms, listening with her moist lips parted as my Indian spoke in slow and measured English. I could see how she longed to question him and the effort it took to hold herself still.

The sight of her with such lively interest in her gray eyes renews my ardor. I will recapture that gaze and not neglect her for so long again.

Notations Toward a Second Voyage to Roanoke Island, Virginia The number of men to remain as colonists: 100, including engineers, masons, carpenters, brickmakers, a physician, and an apothecary. An alchemist to test the metals and a lapidary skilled in all minerals, as well as farmers and laborers. 100, including engineers, masons, carpenters, brickmakers, a physician, and an apothecary. An alchemist to test the metals and a lapidary skilled in all minerals, as well as farmers and laborers.

Number of trained soldiers: 60 60 To survey and map the land, and to depict flora, fauna, and natives: Thomas Harriot, scholar, and John White, painter.

The fort to be in the shape of a pentangle with five bulwarks, fifty feet wide within, and containing an armory. Outside, ditches with walls, and twenty feet beyond them a palisade of sufficient height to deter attackers. The fort to be seated upon a rock, peninsula, or island. to be in the shape of a pentangle with five bulwarks, fifty feet wide within, and containing an armory. Outside, ditches with walls, and twenty feet beyond them a palisade of sufficient height to deter attackers. The fort to be seated upon a rock, peninsula, or island.

Governance & Law Chief pilot: Simon Fernandes General commander: Sir Richard Grenville Both will return to England, leaving: Lt. Colonel Ralph Lane as acting governor and military commander; Manteo and Wanchese as guides.

Offenses and punishments Fighting in the fort or within a mile thereof-3 mos. imprisonment Stealing any man's goods-loss of hand Striking or misusing an Indian-20 blows Violating a woman-death Drawing a weapon upon a governor, councilor, or captain-death Abandoning sentinel or sleeping on watch-death 9 April 1585. Despite auguries of doom, the Tiger Tiger and six other ships sailed from Plymouth under fair skies. I found myself seized with the l.u.s.t for adventure and almost leapt on board the and six other ships sailed from Plymouth under fair skies. I found myself seized with the l.u.s.t for adventure and almost leapt on board the Tiger Tiger. Then I hesitated, recalling how ill I become at sea, and in a moment the gap between the wharf and the ship's deck grew too great to o'erleap. And so I stayed, as I promised Her Majesty I would.

Chapter 8.

Manteo's Quest I am called Manteo, which means "he s.n.a.t.c.hes from another," like a hawk. It is a fitting name for the son of a am called Manteo, which means "he s.n.a.t.c.hes from another," like a hawk. It is a fitting name for the son of a weroance weroance. But I am more like Cloud-runner, the youth who lay in the gra.s.s and stared at the clouds. Like Cloud-runner, I sometimes dream that I am in the land of the star people. Their lodge gleams like the inside of an oyster. Cloud-runner lived among the star people until he grew homesick, and when he returned home he forgot his sojourn there. As I forget the time my father was killed in battle when I was only a few winters old. My people remember their past through the stories we tell.

I was born on Croatoan, one of the islands that are joined like a necklace of sh.e.l.ls. They keep the sea from breaking upon the mainland. My mother, Weyawinga, is the weroance of the island. I know my way around its rocky shoals. I know the land of Ossomocomuck from the bay of Chesapeake to the Neuse River, which villages are ruled by friendly weroances, and where our foes live. I know when to plant pagatour, pagatour, or maize. I know which roots and berries can be eaten, and which ones kill. or maize. I know which roots and berries can be eaten, and which ones kill.

I grew up on stories of young men who left their villages on dream quests and returned with gifts to save their people. Openauk Openauk, the wild-growing potato. Flocks of kaiauk kaiauk, who make the ground rich with their leavings. When the youths came back they were men. Everyone respected them.

I grew tall and my voice deepened. I went to the lodge, crossing the sound in a canoe, alone. Fear was like a hand gripping my guts. I might be eaten by a bear or killed by the Pomeioc. For weeks I ate almost nothing. I breathed in smoke that left me dazed. Waited for my vision of what to pursue. It would be greater than a gift of food or skill with a spear, for I was the son of a weroance and deserved more. My dream would fill me with montoac, montoac, the spirit power that would make me a hero, like in the ancient stories. the spirit power that would make me a hero, like in the ancient stories.

I did everything a young man is supposed to do. But no quest was revealed to me.

Heavy with despair I set out for home. Then in the forest I had my vision. Men with skin as pale as the mushrooms that grow beneath rotting leaves. Wearing plates of shining wa.s.sador wa.s.sador. What did this dream signify? Twigs and leaves crackled under their feet. Strange sounds came from their mouths. As they drew near I could even smell them. This was no dream! The men were as real as I. When they saw me, they made signs with their hands. They were so glad to see me that I was not afraid of them.

One of the men spoke words I could understand. They were seeking the village of Secotan. I agreed to lead them there rather than return to my village and admit my failure. The white men were hungry and had no skill at hunting. So I shot several rabbits and wildfowl. They were amazed by my bow, such a simple weapon.

The English, for so they called themselves, showed me their weapon, a musket. It produced fire and a loud noise. They offered me ornaments made from the shining wa.s.sador and a strong drink that opened my mind. They made signs that more would be given to me if I would go to their land across the waves. The montoac I sought was being offered to me! Spirit power was in the wa.s.sador, the drink, the mighty weapons of the strangers. My thoughts leapt like a herd of deer. I would go with these men and bring their powerful things to my people. Returning to Croatoan, I told my mother that this was my quest. She was afraid for me, but did not forbid me to go.

The sea was wider than I thought possible, the English boat big enough to hold everyone in my village. I had a companion, for Wingina, the weroance of the Roanoke, sent one of his warriors to learn more about where the strangers had come from. Unlike me, Wanchese was not pleased to leave the land.

Ossomocomuck has no end to it. The white man's village, London, also had no end. But it was to my land as day is to night. So bright and busy I had to close my eyes. So loud my ears hurt. So foul smelling I held my nose. London was a market where all wares could be traded at once. Men put sledges on wheels and horses pulled them along paths where people gathered as thick as gulls on the seash.o.r.e. At first Wanchese and I were kept from the people. We were taken to live in a lodge so tall I wondered how it could stay upright. I had no words for the wonders I saw there. Truly I was Cloud-runner in the land of the star people.

The Englishmen Raw-lee and Hare-yet treated me like a sage, one who is wiser even than a weroance. I basked in their attention like a snake in the sun. But I had to wear clothes. (All the men and women of London, shamed by their paleness, covered their flesh with bright clothing.) I was given a shirt so fine it felt like air brushing my skin. But I did not like the shoes. I wished for my feet to touch the earth again.

Hare-yet taught me their tongue and I taught him mine. But Wanchese was jealous of my favor.

"There is wisdom in silence, but the white man talks like a jay," he said. He refused to learn their tongue. This made the English suspect him.

Then a disease fell upon Wanchese. Boils covered his body and burst open. One of their healers cut open his leg to let out the evil, making him well again.

"Do not trust these men," Wanchese told me. "They are trying to kill me, but my spirit is too strong."

I said Raw-lee and Hare-yet were men of truth. Had they not given me many gifts, as they promised? And such pale faces, like a stream in which the fish can be seen, could not deceive. That was my belief. Moreover, they honored us by presenting us to their weroance with much ceremony. Kwin-lissa-bet ruled not only London, but every village in the land. Her warriors were said to be as numerous as the stars. I thought she must be more powerful than Wingina or any of the rulers of Ossomocomuck.

The lodge of this weroance was like the dwelling of Ahone and all the G.o.ds. The men wore plates of shiny wa.s.sador around their necks. The kwin kwin covered herself in riches that glittered like the sun on the sea. My mind was full of the vision but without any words to describe it. Yet I saw in the pale faces of the people thoughts I could name. Thoughts they could not hide. Fear, wonder, shame to look upon me. covered herself in riches that glittered like the sun on the sea. My mind was full of the vision but without any words to describe it. Yet I saw in the pale faces of the people thoughts I could name. Thoughts they could not hide. Fear, wonder, shame to look upon me.

But there was among them one face that regarded me with simple interest. It was that of a young woman. Her hair was as dark as my own, her eyes like the sea just before night falls. I thought, Without their clothing and ornaments, maybe these people are not so different from me Without their clothing and ornaments, maybe these people are not so different from me.

The English ships sailed again, laden with goods. Wanchese and I were both glad to return home. Unlike Cloud-runner, I did not wish to live among the star people. I wanted to share with my own people the great gift I had discovered: the montoac that was in the Englishman's language, his knowledge, and his friendship. This would bring us respect and make our enemies fear us.

This would make me a hero.

Chapter 9.

A Favor Denied From the time I saw Manteo at court, resplendent in his native garb, my curiosity about the savages could not be satisfied. I borrowed a book from the queen's library, Diverse Voyages to the Americas, Diverse Voyages to the Americas, but it was full of conjecture and woodcuts of half-human monsters. It was nothing but feigned tales, while I sought a true history. Thus, when I went with the queen to Durham House and Sir Walter brought Manteo and Wanchese into the company, I was beside myself with excitement. When I heard Manteo speak in English, I marveled at the great and perceptive mind he had. He seemed no older than I, but he had almost mastered my language, while I could speak not a word of his. Thomas Harriot had learned his tongue, but he was known to be a genius. but it was full of conjecture and woodcuts of half-human monsters. It was nothing but feigned tales, while I sought a true history. Thus, when I went with the queen to Durham House and Sir Walter brought Manteo and Wanchese into the company, I was beside myself with excitement. When I heard Manteo speak in English, I marveled at the great and perceptive mind he had. He seemed no older than I, but he had almost mastered my language, while I could speak not a word of his. Thomas Harriot had learned his tongue, but he was known to be a genius.

Pausing often and prompted by the scholar Harriot, Manteo spoke about the riches that lay beneath the great hills inland and the pearls resting beneath the flowing rivers. It was a speech he had prepared for the queen. All the while, I desired to ask this Manteo a question about his home and to meet his eyes again. In the company of so many men, however, it was not proper for me to speak. And so I drew no attention to myself but sat in mingled awe and misery. Of course Manteo was more interesting than I could possibly be, so I understood why Ralegh had neglected to send me letters and verses. His was the task of building a new colony, and the Indians were a part of that great enterprise. The queen had even knighted him, and he was now Sir Walter Ralegh. She, not I, was the mistress of his heart and fortune. I had nothing to contribute.

Ralegh's ships-with his Indians aboard-sailed again for the New World. I decided not to pine for what I could not have, but, like a humble gardener, to till the soil closer to home. Emme was always encouraging me to befriend those who could make my lot as a queen's maid easier to bear. Soon enough, an opportunity presented itself; Anne begged me for a favor. When I asked what it was, she did not reply but took my arm and propelled me through the gates of Whitehall and into the streets clogged with carts and shouting vendors. Shortly we came to a house near Charing Cross.

Thomas Graham waited inside. His red hair stood up like a brush. He offered me a gla.s.s of ale and some sweets, which I accepted out of courtesy.

"Why have you brought me here?" I asked.

Graham took Anne's hand and she blushed, then stroked his face. I envied them their love for each other, and thought sadly of Sir Walter's letters hidden in my coffer.

"Dearest Catherine," began Anne. "You know how long Thomas has waited for the queen to recognize his virtues. Now his fortune is reduced to pennies, and unless he obtains a position at court, he shall have to leave London altogether." Her chin trembled. "And I shall never see him."

"What will you do to make a living?" I asked Graham.

"Soldiering," he said grimly.

"I don't know how I can help," I said with a shrug.

"Catherine, you are mild and never give offense," said Anne in her most flattering tone. "If you asked a favor of the queen, she would surely grant it."

"I doubt she regards me as highly as you think," I said. "What do you seek?"

"To be appointed a gentleman pensioner. I am handsome enough, don't you think?"

I nodded, for despite his fussy dress Graham was tall and well featured.