Cast No Stones Part 5

In cases of sufficient humanitarian reasons, The Social Security Administration will attempt to forward correspondence to missing persons. In this instance I would have to apply to The Office of Public Enquiries in Baltimore, Maryland. I would need to send a letter to my father, along with a brief letter of explanation. The letter intended for my father should be in a plain, unsealed, unstamped envelope bearing only his name and social security number. In the event that I didn't know his social security number, his place and date of birth along with both of his parents' names would be required. I also needed to enclose a fee of $5. The Social Security Administration would not be able to report whether the letter is actually delivered or not. Clearly, the problem once again, and forever, was going to be my lack of information on Harry. I wasn't able to provide the information required but had nothing to lose by sending them a letter in the hope that they could somehow trace him and forward it.

I had always intended to write a cryptic letter as I previously mentioned. The problem I now had was that in writing and explaining everything to the Social Security Administration and appealing to them on humanitarian grounds, a cryptically disguised letter was completely inappropriate. I needed them to help me and it seemed that only a touching letter would stand any chance of success. They obviously intended reading the letter in order to decide the merits of the case. I had to throw caution to the wind and just hope that in the event of him receiving my letter, it didn't cause him any problems.

How do you write a letter to a father that you have never met? How should I address him? Dear father? There was a lot of thought needed. This was the most difficult letter I have ever written. I was not only composing a letter to touch the heartstrings of those thousands of miles away in the Social Security Administration offices, this letter could actually find its way to my father. It had to be a personal letter that he would enjoy reading. It had to prompt him into replying. At the end of the day, the ultimate first contact would be his. I would have to choose each word very carefully. I knew I would never write a more important letter in my life. It took me a few days to compose. Finally, after much editing I wrote the following: Dear Harry, I hope and pray that you receive this letter. I have been searching a long time to find you. I have no idea how you might feel after all these years and you may wonder why I am trying to locate you now. The truth is that I have been unaware of the whole story until fairly recently. I didn't even know your name. My mother has only just told me all about you and has done her best in trying to help with my search. It is a sad story but I pray it will have a happy ending. I have never known what it is like to have a father. I was too young to remember you. Now that I do know the story, lots of things from my childhood memories make sense. Like the cowboy outfit you sent for my eighth birthday. I knew it came from the USA but I was never told who sent it.

My life has been like a jigsaw puzzle, but a puzzle that could never be completed because a very important piece was missing; you are the missing piece. I cannot know your present circ.u.mstances. I don't know your state of health. I would dearly love to meet you if you would allow me to. If you do not wish to make any contact with me, be a.s.sured that I will drop the matter and make no further attempts to locate you. You could reply to me without enclosing your address advising me that you wish no contact. Can I ask just one thing from you? Will you please let me have a photograph? My mother tells me that I look very much like you. I would treasure a photograph. I would be able to show it to my wife and children and my life story would no longer be a mystery.

I have a lovely wife and three children and live on the outskirts of Manchester. I have a well-paid management position and work in the chemical industry. I can afford most things that I need and although not wealthy, I am at least comfortable. My mother is still alive and lives in Nottingham with my younger sister. I would very much like you to contact me. I hope and pray that you will. I would love to be able to say 'h.e.l.lo' to you before it is too late. A lifetime has gone by and maybe it is too late for both of us already. Please, please, let my search be over by making contact one way or another. Please feel free to make a reverse charge telephone call. I await your call and pray to G.o.d that you do reply.

Yours most sincerely, Kevin A Mach.e.l.l.

I mailed the applications to the Military Records Office and the Social Security Administration. After doing so, I experienced a feeling of having started something that was going to have repercussions. For a few moments I began to have doubts, I wondered if I'd made a huge mistake or not. In any event, it was too late now. I had started the ball rolling. I had to accept the implications of my actions.

Chapter 17 The Search Intensifies.

While I waited for replies to both of my applications, I contacted an organization in this country called Transatlantic Children's Enterprise (T.R.A.C.E.). This organization had been recommended to me by Lieutenant Cheman at the USA emba.s.sy. It was a self-help organization which had been set up to help people like me. I decided to telephone them rather than write. My call was answered by Pamela Winfield. She explained that she was an original GI Bride from World War Two. She married her American sweetheart and lived in the USA for many years until her husband died. Following her return to England, she was asked by a friend to help find her American father. Pamela was very well qualified to help this woman and they achieved total success in their search. Pamela then wrote a book about the GI Brides, ent.i.tled, Sentimental Journey. Following publication of the book, she was inundated with requests for similar help, so she founded T.R.A.C.E. Members pool their resources and help each other with their respective searches. I thus became a member of T.R.A.C.E and subsequently received invaluable help with my search. (In later years I was able to help others in their own searches) The next letter I wrote was to the Salvation Army. They have an outstanding record of finding missing persons worldwide. They responded fairly quickly, certainly within a couple of weeks. Unfortunately I did not meet their criteria for help. In my case n.o.body was actually missing. They didn't search for past friends and acquaintances or even relatives who had gone their separate ways by their own choice.

I wrote to the American Red Cross. They specialized in helping the victims of war and disaster. It seemed to me that in a way, I was a victim of war and I had lost contact with a parent. Maybe they would help me.

Most of my initial letters were written and mailed in the first week of November 1986. I antic.i.p.ated success by Christmas. Lieutenant Cheman had also advised me to check the telephone directories for the USA. He knew that the Holborn Street Library in London had a complete set. I telephoned them and asked if they would check their directory for Gary, Indiana. They did this for me but found no one named Ledrew. It might be that he no longer lived in Gary, or indeed, Indiana. In fact, if he was still alive, he could be anywhere in the country! The Librarian advised me to contact my nearest city's central library in case they had a set of U.S. telephone directories. Upon doing this and to my surprise, Manchester Central Library had a complete set on micro film which was only three years old.

Throughout the rest of November and most of December I spent all my spare time reading through the directories covering every one of the 50 States. In the whole of the USA there were only ten Ledrews listed. None had the Christian name I was hoping for. Even so, they may be related, a brother or a son perhaps? I wrote to each of them explaining that I was trying to find a long-lost friend and asking if they were related to him. Christmas was now only a few days away, so I put my search to the back of my mind and prepared for the festivities.

One of the best Christmas presents I ever received came from the mailman. It was in fact the same mailman that I had previously unfairly called useless. A reply from the Social Security Administration popped through my letter box on Christmas Eve.

I was excited yet very nervous to receive this letter all the way from Maryland. It was a very official looking envelope and was postmarked 'Airmail.' I delayed slightly in opening it. Maybe this letter contained my father's present address. Maybe they were informing me that he was dead. Eventually I opened it. The Social Security had considered my letter and was satisfied that it did meet their criteria on humanitarian grounds. They were willing to help me. They even returned the $5 search fee that I had sent them. They informed me that they would search their records for a current address. If one was found, they would attempt to forward my letter. In the event that they found no address, they would take no further action. I learned from T.R.A.C.E that I was very fortunate in getting this help. The vast majority of such requests are turned down. My carefully composed letter and circ.u.mstances must have done the trick. My wife considered that it may have been read by a woman who sympathized with the case. Whatever the reason for it, I was extremely thankful.

I was now even more convinced that contact would be made in the coming months. It would also be so appropriate. It never once occurred to me that the Social Security Administration could fail to have a current address. Even if he was dead, their records would show it. One way or another, my search would soon be over.

I didn't really expect to receive mail from any source between Christmas and New Year, so I wasn't too disappointed when none arrived. I did however begin looking out for the mailman and calling him useless again each time he failed to bring mail to my home. Christmas came and went. I began to realize that that my search was not going to be as easy as I thought. There was no way of knowing the outcome of the Social Security's involvement. There was more than one scenario; they did not have a present address and had forwarded my letter to an obsolete one. He was long since dead or they had indeed forwarded it to him and for whatever reason, he had decided to ignore it. I could accept any and all of these possibilities. I just wished I knew which one. I had to keep on searching until I came to a conclusion either way.

On January 27th 1987, I received a reply from the British Red Cross Offices in London. They had been contacted by the American Red Cross who asked them to reply to me. They explained that their services are generally restricted to those relatives separated by armed conflict, natural disaster or other situations where normal communications failed. They politely informed me that my situation did not fall into their categories. They did however advise me that I should write to The Veterans Administration in Washington DC. In the event that my father was a veteran who was in receipt of benefits, they could forward a letter to him. Once again, similar to the Social Security Administration, they needed lots of information that I just didn't have. I decided there would be no mileage in contacting the Veterans Administration without more information. I duly forgot all about them.

In February I received an interesting letter from Seattle. It was from a George Ledrew and was in reply to one of my telephone directory search letters. George explained that he was not related to Harry but that the Ledrew name originated from the French Huguenots settling in Newfoundland in about 1750. George's letter was very friendly and he wished me lots of luck. His grandfather was also called Harry Ledrew but he died in Alberta, Canada many years ago - never having left Canada. George had researched his family tree years earlier. The name Ledrew was very prominent in Newfoundland and it was quite probable that my father was a Newfoundlander who had settled in the USA. Another of my interests is Genealogy and it opened up a new dimension to the family tree searches I'd previously undertaken. However, that would be something for the future. Right now I was only concerned with the present search.

During the spring of 1987 my mother rang me to tell me that she was really thrilled because she had just remembered 'Maryland' as being part of Harry's address. A quick check of the map showed Maryland as being a state on the east coast of America. She remained certain the Maryland was indeed part of his address. This could mean that it was a county in the state of Indiana or perhaps a street in the town of Gary. How could I find out?

Once again I telephoned the U.S. Emba.s.sy in London in the hope they could help. I discovered that the emba.s.sy had a vast library which included street plans of every single town in the whole of the United States. They very quickly confirmed that a Maryland Street did exist in the town of Gary. They also informed me that it was a residential part of the town. My hopes began to soar again. A further check by the librarian even revealed every house number situated on the street. There were over twelve hundred addresses. I wrote to every 50th number. I wrote twenty-five letters in total. I asked if they knew of a Harry Ledrew or anybody named Ledrew who lived on their street during the war years. I provided a stamped addressed envelope for their reply. It was a long shot and a lengthy job but I thought it was worth it. I even wrote to the Head Postmaster in the town of Gary asking if he could possibly help. Sadly, I never received a single reply from anyone.

During the next couple of months I wrote various letters. In all honesty, these letters were more in desperation than anything else. I wrote to the priest at the Catholic Church in Gary and the Catholic War Veteran's Organization. This was because my mother thought that Harry was a Catholic. I thought that the parish priest might have records of marriage, baptisms or first holy communions of Harry's possible children. Once again, I didn't get any replies.

I even wrote to the FBI. This really was a long shot which I laugh about now when I think about it. Needless to say, I received no reply from anyone. I remembered that my mother's youngest brother, Ernie had immigrated to the state of Ohio many years ago. Ohio was in fact a neighboring state of Indiana. I tracked down the address, found his telephone number and gave him a call. He was amazed that I had called him. I hadn't seen him for over 30 years. We had a lengthy chat on the phone. Although he could not really give me any advice, he did inform me about the somewhat nomadic habits of the American people. Rarely did they remain where they were born. It was very unlikely that Harry would be in the same state. He also told me that most people are not to be found in the telephone directories either. This last bit of information gave me some renewed hope that there might be a great many more Ledrews out there than I thought.

In April, I wrote to the Governor of Indiana State, Robert D. Orr. I asked him about death records within the state of Indiana. I had thought that my first line of enquiry should be to establish whether or not he was already dead. I received a very nice reply from the Governor within a couple of weeks. He invited me to contact a Mr. Larry Davies at the Vital Records Office in Indianapolis. I wrote to him and he voluntarily checked all the death records in the state of Indiana from 1945 to 1987, but failed to find an entry for Harry Ledrew. He advised me that it was possible that Harry had died in one of the other 49 states. It was equally possible that he was still alive.

For a fee of $35 it was possible for a search to be carried out of birth certificates in the surname of Ledrew. If Harry had not died in Indiana but elsewhere, maybe he had children born in the state before he left. I paid the fee and had the search done. It found no births in that surname in the state of Indiana. This gave rise to the distinct possibility that he had left the state before having children. I never thought about him not having children. This only left the records for marriages to be searched. He could well have married and then left the state. I arranged for this search to be done, but once again it drew a blank. So far, my search of Indiana State Records had cost me over 50 pounds. If I was to check the records of all the other states it would cost me over 2,500. Such a search would only enable me to home in on a state containing the record of event. There would be no guarantee that he still lived there, but in the event of a birth, it might be possible to trace the offspring. There were so many permutations. It was all pretty academic anyway because I was not prepared to spend that sort of money on what would probably be a fruitless search.

During April I received a letter from a Wilson Ledrew in Arizona. He was the second person to reply from the telephone directory listing. Once again, it was a very nice letter highlighting the Newfoundland connection but not of any help in my search. This was in fact the last reply from the telephone listing of the ten Ledrews that I had written to. While waiting for further leads or inspiration, I did a little research into the Ledrews of Newfoundland. There were a huge number of them - many hundreds in fact. They were also to be found all over Canada. It did occur to me that if Harry was in fact Canadian by ancestry, he might well have gone back to his roots. The thought of having to search both America and Canada filled me with dread!

On 21st May, I received a postcard from The Military Records Office in St. Louis, Missouri. I had long ago given up on them ever contacting me, so it was a nice surprise. They were apologizing for the delay but had found no records for Harry Ledrew. It was a.s.sumed that the record was destroyed in the fire of July 1973. However, they were searching another route and would be in touch at a future date. This was encouraging again. In fact, throughout the search the lifting and falling of spirits was a regular feature. A few days later, I received a letter from Staff Sergeant Allen R. Freels from the same military records office, informing me that the matter had been transferred to another department. The National Archives Administration Reconstruction Branch was now trying to find Harry's military service records, but they warned that they had very little information to go on. On June 23rd, the chief of the Reconstruction Branch, Deborah Haveman, wrote saying that the records didn't exist and it must be a.s.sumed that they were lost in the fire. Everything seemed to point to a very thorough search having been done, involving several departments. I was not going to make any more progress down the military route. I was very grateful though and it restored a lot of my faith in the U.S. governmental departments' willingness to help despite the Privacy Act.

Later that year I decided to visit the spiritualist medium again. I still wasn't convinced about his powers, yet I simply could not understand how he allegedly received a message from my grandfather telling me to ask my mother about Harry. For some time now I was beginning to think that I'd exhausted every avenue of research and I was resigning myself to accept that my father would probably be dead by now. If Jim Byrne could say that Harry was indeed already dead, I really don't know what I'd have done. Most probably I would have continued to search for death records rather than continuing in trying to find evidence of him still being alive.

It had been almost two years since my last visit to see Jim Byrne. During this time I had noticed quite a deal of publicity regarding his public performances. Apparently, within spiritualist circles, he had a very good reputation. He had also been featured on a television program. On the day of my appointment he didn't remember me. I told him what had happened on my last visit and subsequent events. I asked him if Harry was dead. 'Oh no,' he said. 'He's not in spirit, and you will meet him.' He told me that I would find him. 'He lives alone, but not by himself,' he added. I asked what he meant by this but he couldn't say. 'There is a very tall building. There is also a very large building. It is something to do with education.' he said. He asked if my father was a teacher or something. I told him that I didn't know. He informed me that he had nothing further for me. I asked who he had got the information from. Was it Edward again? Again, he was unable to say. He explained that sometimes messages are very clear and the providers of information are very clear. Sometimes it is all jumbled up and often a stream of information comes too quickly to disseminate it all accurately. Today was one of those occasions. He was sorry he couldn't help any further. If I attended another sitting it might be more fruitful. I don't believe he was using any marketing strategy to get further business - I thought he was genuine. He could have dragged the meeting out if he wished by giving me all kinds of names and places, but he didn't.

Following this meeting I really didn't know what to think. Nothing had been said to deflate my interest in continuing the search. On the contrary, he had given me positive encouragement to continue with my quest. However, I had to decide whether I had any further reason to trust what he'd told me and whether or not I was less skeptical than previously. In the event, I made notes of what he said and continued with my search.

Chapter 18 - The Breakthrough.

By late 1987 I had received a very large amount of information from T.R.A.C.E. Sophie Byrne from Gwent, Wales, was the membership secretary. She was truly inspirational. She had absolute volumes of stuff. This included things like the names and addresses of every military establishment in the USA, regimental commanding officers, military historical societies and reunion group secretaries. I cannot speak too highly of Sophie and the help and encouragement she gave me. If it wasn't for her encouragement, I would have probably given up my search.

I shall be forever indebted to her for a precious piece of information she gave me which enabled me to make the breakthrough and the ultimate contact with my father. She asked whether my father had supported me financially in any way. It seemed that the American authorities were more likely to a.s.sist if he had. The great majority of illegitimate children were no more than the result of casual s.e.xual encounters. A financially supported child was considered to be the product of something much more than just 'a roll in the hay.' Financial support suggested a meaningful, perhaps even a loving and caring relationship had occurred. The U.S. authorities' viewpoint was that if a serviceman accepted paternity it meant he took his full responsibility for the child.

I asked my mother whether or not Harry had supported me financially. She told me that he did at first but the payments stopped after he returned to the United States. I asked how he had made the payments and whether or not there might be records somewhere. She said he paid his money into the court and then the court paid her. Apparently, my mother had taken out a court order against the U.S. military for child maintenance which was deducted from Harry's army pay. The court in question was my local magistrate's court in Bexley Square, Salford.

This could be the breakthrough I needed. If only the court still had records in its archives from 1944, what would these records show? Would there be an address in Gary? The main thing was to find proof of paternity to give to the U.S. authorities. I telephoned the City of Salford Magistrates Court and spoke to a Velda Leggat. I explained about my search, again hoping to touch a heartstring. She told me that the court did keep very old records in the cellar archives but she didn't know how long they were kept for. She said she couldn't promise me anything because she was very busy. However, if she got any spare time she would see what she could find.

After lunch that same day, I got a phone call from Velda. 'We've found the records!' she said excitedly. I could not believe my ears. She told me that during her lunch break, she told my story to her office colleagues and informed them about my request to search the archives. They all immediately agreed to give up the rest of their lunch break and go down into the cellar. 'Ignoring all the cobwebs and giant spiders.' she said. Within twenty minutes they had found the records I needed. It gave Harry's U.S. address on Maryland Street, Gary, Indiana. But more importantly, it contained his army number, name of regiment, battalion and even his section. It also contained details of his payments to my mother. I reflected on the weekly amount of twelve shillings and six pence he paid to the court for my maintenance. What was its relative value today I wondered?

The following day I visited the court building and was given photocopies of the relevant doc.u.mentation. I had purchased the largest box of chocolates I could find as a thank you gift for Velda and her colleagues. She had very moist eyes when I left her. She wished me all the luck in the world.

Now that I was able to prove paternity and details regarding Harry's address and army details, Sophie advised me to write to the Veterans Administration Department in Indianapolis. The Veterans Administration is a federal benefits department for ex-servicemen aged over sixty-five who served in wartime. The department provides pensions, disability a.s.sistance and they even have their own hospitals and medical a.s.sistance scheme. It is run centrally but has state regional departments. I wrote the following letter: Dear Sirs, Please, please, will you help me. I have tried for a very long time to find my father without success. I was born during the war when my father was stationed over here in the United Kingdom. Sadly my parents didn't marry; my mother would not leave England and accompany my father back to the USA.

My father maintained me legally and I enclose a photocopy of the court order to prove my claim. My parents communicated for many years after the war until my mother eventually met and married my stepfather. We moved to another address and communication stopped in the early 1950's. It is thought that my father still lived in Gary, Indiana at the time.

My mother is old and in failing health. She surprised me by telling this story to me. According to her, my father would dearly love to hear from me. It might already be too late. But I just wish that I could say h.e.l.lo to him.

I have been searching for ages for him but it is an almost impossible task due your Privacy Act legislation. Even if you could just tell me that he was still alive or dead, I would be extremely grateful. I am asking you in the name of humanity for any help you can give me.

Yours Sincerely, Kevin a Mach.e.l.l.

I enclosed his full army rank, number, regiment information along with the court order and posted it on the 20th November 1987.

During December, I received a reply from them. They informed me that my father was not only alive but was in receipt of benefits from the Veterans Administration. I was absolutely elated. My father was still alive! The Veterans had his address. I felt a mixture of raw emotion and excitement. I had worked so hard on my search. I had spent many countless days in libraries and on computers. I had read so many books on the demography of the USA. I had studied wartime records and military wartime archives. I had spent a lot of money and sacrificed a lot time on my quest. As a strategic business venture it was an absolute success. It was however, much more than just an exercise in research. I now had a father. He was very real and very alive. What was I going to do now? I allowed myself a little tear. In fact, I allowed myself many tears.

Because of the Federal Privacy Act, the Administration would not release his address. The Administration had agreed however, to forward my letter to him and asked him to correspond directly with me. This letter from the Department of Veterans Affairs was followed three days later by a letter from Mr. James R. Fischl of the Department of Veterans Administration. It was officially informing me that they had forwarded my letter to my father.

I had now finally found him and he would get the letter I wrote requesting help. Although I was very happy that I had eventually found him, I was not too happy that I had not been given the opportunity to write him a personal letter. Without such a personal explanatory letter I reasoned that he might not reply. When I hadn't heard anything by February I wrote once again. This time directly to James Fischl: Dear Mr. Fischl, In November of last year I wrote to you requesting a.s.sistance in tracing my father, Harry Ledrew. I was absolutely delighted to learn that not only was he still alive but that you knew his address and that you would forward on to him my enquiry. Sadly, I have not heard from him. It is possible that he does not wish to contact me. I obviously realize and respect that fact. It is also possible that he is still not aware of my search. I have searched for a very long time, and while my search is almost over, I feel that until I learn for definite that he knows of my search and still does not wish to communicate, I must leave no stone unturned. I sincerely hope you can appreciate my feelings.

If I had known that you were able and prepared to forward a letter for me I would have taken the opportunity to write a personal one to him at the time. I have enclosed such a letter this time. Can I please ask one last favor from you? Is it possible you could forward my enclosed letter? Could you through your good offices ascertain from him whether or not he wishes contact with me. If he replies to you in the negative then my search will be truly over and I will make no further attempts to locate or indeed contact him.

I realize that you are a very busy man and I thank you most genuinely for all of your help.

Yours sincerely Kevin A Mach.e.l.l I posted the letter, said a prayer and waited for a response. They never responded.

On February 23rd 1988, I received a handwritten letter. The name of the sender was a Mrs. David Grand. She lived in a town called Mishawaka, South Bend, Indiana. It was displayed on a small sticker on the back of the envelope. I wondered what this was about. Who was she? I had not written to anyone of that name. Because it was handwritten, it clearly wasn't an official letter. It suddenly occurred to me that it might be a reply from one of Harry's family from the telephone directory list of people. Excitedly I opened the letter and began reading. My hands started to tremble as I continued to read: 1st February 1988 Dear Kevin, I am Harry Ledrews sister. He received your letter and papers from the Veteran's Department. Yes, I remember your mother writing to me in Gary, Indiana about you. The name of the child was Albert. Your second name is it? My brother Harry (family call him Austin) was 80 in October 1987. He lives alone in a senior citizens apartment in Mishawaka. His health is not so good. I guess your letter brought back memories of the bad war years. He has three sisters living in this area - all getting older too. I am sending this picture of Harry Austin (I'm on the right) and three sisters. One brother (since died), taken about twenty years ago. I hope all is well with you and that you are ok. Strange to go back into the past.

Sincerely, Avilla Ledrew Grand.

The letter contained an address for Harry: - 500 Lincoln way East. Apt 706. Mishawaka Indiana 46544, USA. It also contained his telephone number. My wife Margaret recalls just how much I trembled reading this letter. I particularly trembled when I held and looked at the photograph. This was my father. I was seeing a picture of him for the first time in my life; I didn't know what to think, what to say or what to do. I just looked at the photo and shed a tear or two. My wife also had a little cry. Then she told me just how much I looked like my father. I thought I looked nothing like him. I told her that, 'This picture is of an old man, and he doesn't look anything at all like me.' Margaret looked at me and just smiled.

I now had Harry's address and his telephone number. The thought of ringing him entered my mind but it didn't seem to be the right thing to do. I presumed that I had been provided with his number for that purpose. I didn't know why his sister had written and not him. She didn't make it clear in her letter that he wanted contact. In fact, her letter left me in quite a dilemma. I didn't know whether to telephone or write to him. I always imagined that a telephone call would come after a letter.

I decided that I needed to speak to Avilla but I didn't have her number. I rang the International Directory and after providing her address, they gave me her telephone number. I rang the number. It was 12 o'clock lunchtime here. I didn't think about what time it was in Indiana. 'h.e.l.lo,' somebody answered. It was an elderly female voice. I asked if she was Avilla, She told me she was. When she realized who I was and that I was calling from England she was amazed. It was 7 o'clock in the morning there but she had been up for some time.

From our phone conversation I learned that Harry was not only housebound, he'd also had a stroke recently and was suffering from a neuropathy condition that affected his ability to hold things or write anything - hence her writing the letter. He was in pretty poor shape overall. He had three sisters living close together in Mishawaka and they were all older than him. They were all well in their mid to late eighties.

Amazingly, I learned that he had never married and had no children. He lived in a high rise on the tenth floor. The whole apartment block was a warden controlled residence for senior citizens. The town of Mishawaka was practically a suburb of the town of South Bend which was the home of the world famous Notre Dame University. I learned that the University could clearly be seen from Harry's apartment.

Oh my G.o.d! I immediately thought of what Jim Byrne had told me. 'He lives by himself but he's not alone. There is a very tall building. There is an educational building nearby.'

I asked Avilla how Harry was reacting to my contact. She informed me that he had received the first letter from the veterans several weeks prior but had not said anything. He then received a second letter from them accompanied by my personal letter to him. It was after he received the second letter that he showed it to Avilla. She read it and told him that it needed a reply. I said to her that I would like to meet him and asked her how Harry would feel about the prospect of such a meeting. She agreed to talk further with him and write back to me.

For the next couple of weeks I waited in antic.i.p.ation. I took the opportunity to do some additional research. I needed to consider many aspects of a possibly meeting. When could I go? Where was Mishawka? How do I get there? Where could I fly from? Where would I stay? Margaret would certainly be going with me. What should I tell the children? How could we leave them for a week? Who would look after them? So many questions but I needed to be organized in my mind in readiness.

At last, the awaited letter from Avilla arrived: February 24th 1988 Dear Kevin, I was over to see my brother yesterday, stayed with him a few hours. I told him about the phone call from you and we had a nice talk. He would be glad to see you and you would be welcome. He is not the person he was, his mind is ok but can't get around, so it is up to you to decide. You seem so far away.

I know how a child gets and tries to find his roots. It seems like a big project for you. We live close to South Bend, Indiana. The plane would land in Chicago. At the airport there is a special bus that takes you here. I am sorry I did not get your phone number when I was talking to you. Kevin, you have my address and phone number and I hope my brother keeps well and you too. My brother was surprised to know he was a grandfather. I hope you have some snaps of the children.

Sincerely, Avilla Ledrew Grand.

After receiving this letter I telephoned Avilla again and had a good conversation. I established that he really did want to see me and that I had not coerced him into it. Avilla and her sister were curious to see me as well. They wanted to know all about me, my mother and my family. Avilla told me that Harry's health was not good and I should be prepared because he was an invalid and his condition was deteriorating. She also said that if I intended making a visit, I should do it sooner rather than later.

This spurred me into making more immediate plans to see him.

Chapter 19 The Journey to America.

Now I knew that Harry would like to see me, I decided to write to him. It was going to take me a few weeks to make all the travel plans and to arrange for time off work. Writing to him would allow me to pave the way for the visit. It gave me an opportunity to say a few things before we actually met in order to minimize any possible embarra.s.sment or discomfort. I composed the following letter and posted it toward the end of February 1988: Dear Austin, I am absolutely delighted that I have finally found you and that I can now write to you directly. I am even more delighted that you would be happy to see me. I have telephoned your sister, Avilla. She sounds like a wonderful lady. She has been very kind and understanding. I am making plans to fly to the USA to visit you. I should be there in about two weeks.

I just cannot believe that after all these years I will be seeing you. I have thought about you all my life. I have only known your name for the last two years. It is a long story but my mother would not tell me anything during my childhood. She maintained that she wanted to protect my feelings. It was a big mistake on her part to deprive me of the information.

We eventually, at my instigation, sat and talked about everything. She was very relieved to tell me the story. Please believe me when I tell you that I have no hard feelings about what happened all those years ago. I am very happy that you are still alive and that you would like to see me. I would very much like to see you.

I know you are not in good health. I hope my visit will be a tonic for you. It is not possible in a letter to tell you all about myself, but I would like to tell you just a few things. My childhood was not very happy and we did not live in good conditions. My mother's marriage to my stepfather was not nice and it did not work out. I have had a good education and I am reasonably intelligent. I married when I was twenty years of age and next year will be our silver wedding anniversary.

I have three children, Lee Thomas aged 20, Kay Josephine aged 13 and Amy Laura aged 7. I am enclosing some photographs so that you can see for yourself. I own my own home. I have a good job in the chemical industry. I am a shift production supervisor and receive a good salary. I have a new car and we go on leisure breaks each year all over Europe. Last year we went to Greece.

My interests and hobbies are many and varied including reading, history, music and movies. I am very mechanically minded and I love building things. I am in reasonable health although I have needed some surgery in the bladder department. I have suffered with duodenal ulcers for twenty-five years, otherwise I am in good health and very active.

It was very strange looking at the photograph of you that Avilla sent me. I look very much like you. My mother is very happy that I have found you. It is sad that so many years have been wasted, but life is sometimes unkind. I am certain that if I don't take this opportunity to see you now, then I will regret it for the rest of my life.

I intend flying direct from Manchester to Chicago on American Airlines then driving to your town. I am currently arranging a visa and flights. My wife Margaret will come with me. It will be very strange for both of us when we meet. We will be strangers due to the circ.u.mstances of life. The visit can only be short but I will treasure it.

I have tried to trace you for the last couple of years. It has been a very difficult thing to do. I have written lots of letters to every possible source but only the Veterans Administration have been willing to help. State Governor Robert D. Orr was also very helpful. I have spent a small fortune in searching files and indexes of births, marriages and deaths in Indiana State. I have written to everyone called Ledrew in the US telephone directories but without success.

I am so thrilled in finding you that I cannot properly describe how I feel. I sincerely hope that you will be as pleased to see me as I will be to see you. I will inform you of a definite date of arrival in USA as soon as my plans are finalized. I hope that my sudden intrusion into your life doesn't cause you any health problems. It has probably come as a great shock to you but I hope it is a happy one.

My thoughts at the moment are a mixture of happiness and sadness. You probably feel the same way. My children have been told that their grandfather was a soldier but was unfortunately lost in the war. In one sense that is true. I now have the happy task of telling them that he didn't die and that he has been found. My prayers have been answered Yours most sincerely, Kevin Albert.

I discussed all things thoroughly with my wife. She also believed that it would be so sad if I hesitated and he was to die before we met. I was now in something of a dilemma. I was being denied the opportunity of a cautious and gentle approach. I would have to throw caution to the wind and more or less impose myself upon him without either of us being fully prepared for such an important meeting.

There were other considerations to take into account as well. My children would be surprised at the news and quite possibly shocked at the speed of the planned meeting. Apart from my older sister Ann, my brothers and sisters had been as ignorant as I was. My extended family knew absolutely nothing about the circ.u.mstances regarding the search for my father and they were going to be in for a huge surprise. Neither I nor my mother had told anyone about the search.

I needed to arrange some time off work at very short notice. I thought this would cause serious problems because another member of staff was already booked to be off at the same time. I went to the Personnel Department and spoke to the officer who dealt with emergency requests for leave. He listened to my story and to my great surprise he told me to book my flights and not to worry about work. He even gave me some days off for pressing domestic reasons, thus saving me some of my free leave days. He also wished me lots of luck for my journey and the meeting with my father.

Now I had the very pleasant task of explaining to my children about my father. My eldest children, Lee and Kay understood completely but I thought Amy, who was only seven years old, didn't fully understand. Lee was aged twenty and a member of the Territorial Army. He really was excited to learn that his World War Two veteran grandfather was still alive. He couldn't wait for us to go out and meet him and to return with lots of information about him. Kay appeared pretty philosophical about the whole thing. She was fifteen years old and preoccupied with her own teenage life to care too deeply about the issue one way or another.

From the beginning and throughout the search, I was very conscious of the possibility that I might need to tell my children that I had searched and found my father. I decided that if my search had in fact been unsuccessful then nothing would have been needed to have been said about it. My father having been lost in the war would still be the appropriate belief. It was true in a way, and I could accept that and get on with my life. All they had been aware of is that I was illegitimate and that I never knew my father.

I worried a little at first about whether my searching would hurt Lee and Kay. They were adopted as babies and I am the only father they have ever known. Of course, they are fully aware of their adoption and have been all their lives. At some future time they may well wish to search for their birth parents. I would be perfectly happy with this and both my wife Margaret and I would give them all the help we could. What I have done is not search for my birth parent as an adoptive child might do. I have had no change of ident.i.ty since my birth. I am not the legal child of any man other than my biological father. In fact, I have court papers to actually prove the legality of his paternity. I believe my search was completely different to the search an adopted child makes.

There is an old maxim that states, 'It's a wise man that knows his own father.' Many children grow up believing that their father is their biological father when this is not the case. Equally, many illegitimate children will never know their fathers. Many mothers don't even know who the father of their child is. In my case, paternity was never an issue, it was not denied. My father wanted to marry my mother. A collection of unfortunate circ.u.mstances conspired to thwart his attempts to be a father to me. Nevertheless, one of my primary considerations was for the feelings of my two eldest children. I need not have worried. As it transpired, Lee and Kay were very helpful and supportive and encouraged me to go and meet my father.

Having sorted out the necessary time off work, I now needed to arrange child-minding for my two daughters. Lee was working full time and was not able to help in this respect. Both girls would be at school all day but we still needed someone to stay at our house for a week to help them and to provide care outside of school hours. This would also enable my wife to accompany me. I never considered going alone. This forthcoming meeting was as important to her as it was to me. It seemed to us that the best answer would be for my mother to stay with the girls. When I suggested this to my mother she was happy to oblige. She wouldn't hear of me driving over to get her from my sister's home in Nottingham, she packed her suitcase and jumped on the bus to Manchester where I met her.

The next thing to arrange was flights. I was fortunate in that Manchester Airport is only a twenty minute drive from my home. American Airlines flew daily, nonstop from Manchester to Chicago. I was able to book flights through my local travel agent for the following week. I planned a one week visit. From Chicago I intended getting a bus to Mishawaka where Avilla would meet us.

The next people we had to tell about my search and forthcoming trip was Tom and Josie, my wife's parents. This was going to be a little embarra.s.sing since many years ago we had denied that anyone except Charlie Mach.e.l.l was my father. It was no good beating around the bush. What was done and said previously was in the past. In a few days we would be flying to America and they needed an explanation. I had no alternative but to tell them the truth. I told them everything about my childhood, about what I knew and what I didn't know. I told them about the search and our planned journey to meet Harry.

They were quite surprised because although they believed that I was indeed illegitimate, they were miles off the mark with their own suspicions of the truth. I think in some ways they were also a little stunned by the revelation. They were both born and bred in Salford and were well acquainted with the wartime scenario in the city. Tom was in the Royal Navy during the war and Josie worked in a munitions factory. Tom was an ardent horse racing enthusiast and was a fairly regular attendee at Castle Irwell on race days. They were both aware of the role of the racecourse during the war. Interestingly, subsequent conversations with Josie invariably involved some of her own wartime reminiscences with regard to the American soldiers in Salford.