Bypaths In Dixie Part 11

"Mist'r Tom Cat ain' say er thing, he jes' keep er stretchin' his claws, waitin' fur Jack Donkey ter git plum full er hisse'f. Bimeby, he git full ernuf ter bile ov'r, an' he say, 'Brer Tom, I ain' much on pol'ticks, you knows dat,--but ef de plantation is jes' brow beat by dat ripsnortin' Race Hoss, an' can't git shed er him no uth'r way, 'cep'n fur some uth'r bigg'r man 'n him ter run 'ginst 'im, den I'm yer man.'

"Tom, he light out fum dar, an' make tracks all ov'r de pastur' tell he come ter Mist'r Billy Goat's house."

"Was it Ned Dog's Billy Goat?" and Willis was contented to lay aside the harness.

"Hit wus Billy's gran'pa, ole Cap'n Goat. Cap'n Goat wus walkin' up an'

down de branch washin' his foots an' takin' er swall'r er water ev'y now an' den, an' whin Tom Cat come erlong an' op'n up an' tell his biznes', de Cap'n git so 'cited, dat he stomp water all ov'r creation, an' Tom git right sharply sprinkl'd. He jump up an' shake hisse'f, he do, an' sorter start up ter de shade er de chestnut tree. Dey pa.s.s er heap er conversation, dey does, but de upshot uv hit wus, dat Cap'n Goat 'cide ter put Jack Donkey up es er dark hoss.

"Mist'r Tom Cat, he run an' tell Brer Mule, an' Mist'r Dur'm Cow, an'

Mist'r Brindle Cow, an' ole man Hog, ter run quick ter de ches'nut tree, dat Cap'n Goat's got sumpin' big ter tell 'em! Whin dey gits dar, an'

pa.s.ses de news back'ards an' fur'ards 'mongst derse'fs, dey 'cides ter run Jack Donkey in de race.

"Mist'r Dur'am Cow say, 'Jack's mo' stronger'n Race Hoss.'

"Ole man Hog say, 'Yas, an' he kin wurk long'r an' mo' hard'r'n Race Hoss.'

"Oh, dey praises Jack Donkey up moutily, an' all uv 'em say dey'll whup Mist'r Race Hoss so bad dat he'll be 'sham'd ter trot 'long side uv er mud turtle.

"Dey so bizzy wid der confab, dat dey ain' notice Mist'r Wile Cat settin'

up on er lim' er de tree. Atter dey spies him, dey axes 'im ter pa.s.s his 'pinion on de meetin'.

"He up an' low, he did, dat he know Brer Bar ain' in de race, but, sezee, 'Jack Donkey can't do much bet'r'n Brer Bar, ef you let fokes know 'im.'

"Dey axes him how dey kin hope hit.

"He tell 'em ter run him by de name er Bline Billy.

"Dey ax 'im how he speck Bline Billy name gwine keep fokes fum knowin'

Jack Donkey whin he 'pear ter make his canvas.

"Wile Cat say ter make 'im kiv'r hisse'f up whinsumev'r he rise 'fo' de congregation.

"An' dat's whut dey done, an' n.o.body 'cep'n dem fokes und'r de ches'nut tree know Bline Billy's sho' nuf name.

"Ned Dog, he go tell Mist'r Race Hoss 'bout dis new fine run'r dat's makin' sich fine speeches 'ginst 'im. Mist'r Race Hoss tell Ned Dog ter git der side tergeth'r so dey kin confab erbout de mat'r. Ned Dog, he pa.s.ses de wurd ter 'em all, an' he 'speshully tell Brer Mule ter be dar sho'.

"Brer Mule tell him he can't make up his min' which side he's on, he say he kin ter Bline Billy, an' he ort'r vote fur him.

"Ned Dog tell him he mustn't fergit dat him an' Mist'r Race Hoss kin, too.

"He say he ain' fergit hit, an' dat's howc.u.m he so twist'd up 'bout votin'. He set an' study, he do, an' de mo' he study, de mo' he can't make up his mine."

"Make him vote for Mister Race Hoss, Mammy."

"Make who, boy?--Brer Mule settin' up on dat fence stud'in' jes whar Ned Dog lef' 'im."

Willis became discouraged over Mister Race Horse's prospects and insisted with much feeling that Phyllis had influenced the animals in Jack Donkey's behalf.

"Go off, boy, how I gwine make dese trashy creeturs vote fur high tone fokes like yo' pa an' Mist'r Race Hoss? Dey dunno nuthin' 'cep'n whut de murchine tell 'em ter vote," shaking her head in condemnation and mumbling to herself. "Sometimes I studies ter m'se'f ef de wimmin fokes cud do enny bett'r."

"Mammy Phyllis, please make somebody come to Mister Race Horse's meetin',"

urged Mary Van.

"Doan you both'r yose'f 'bout dat meetin', 'caze Ned Dog both'rin' nuf fur bofe uv yer. He go tell Mist'r Rooster ter telerfome ter Mist'r Turk'y Gobler, an' Mist'r Peac.o.c.k, an' he tell Mist'r Bloodhoun' fur him ter run an' tell Mist'r Jersey Cow, an'--"

"An' Mister Turtle," suggested Willis, trying to help the meeting along.

"Nor, suh, ole man Mud Turtle ain' got no bisnes' at dis meetin', he 'longs wid de Bline Billy crowd. Ef you talkin' 'bout Mist'r Di'mon' Back Terrapin, den you'se right, 'caze he wus dar on de amen bench, an'--"

"Where were the sheep, Mammy?"

"Dat's so, baby, I mos' fergit all 'bout de 'spute Unk Bell Weth'r an' ole Daddy Ram Sheep had 'bout de mat'r. Daddy Ram Sheep wanter vote fur Bline Billy, but Unk Bell Weth'r say dey got ter heah mo' speakin' 'fo' dey got nuf sense ter know which one de bes' side.

"Well, de speakin' start' an' I tell yer hit kep' up scand'lus, too.

"Mist'r Race Hoss 'vite Bline Billy an' Brer Bar bofe uv 'em ter speak wid 'im, but Brer Bar feer'd ter, an' ev'y time Jack Donkey say he gwine mix speeches wid Mist'r Race Hoss, ole Uncle Gee-Haw Steer giv' er big kick 'ginst hit.

"He say, 'Twon' do, twon' do!'

"Fin'ly Ned Dog ax Cap'n Goat ef Bline Billy skeer'd ter meet Mist'r Race Hoss on de same stump, will he 'gree ter meet 'im on diffunt stumps but tolerbul close tergether, so dey kin see which one kin out do de uth'r.

"Cap'n Goat say Bline Billy ain' skeer'd er no race hoss dat ev'r capr'd on er track, an' ter 'nounce de time an' name de stumps, an' Blin'

Billy'll be dar wid fo' foots an' er tongue dat'll make Mist'r Race Hoss eat up all dat big talk he bin scat'rin' 'roun'.

"Whin ole Unk Gee-Haw Steer heah 'bout de meetin' he kick er 'ginst hit, he say dat donkey gwine make er jack er hisse'f sho' es sho' kin be; dat fokes'll fin' out who Bline Billy is, ef he start ter talkin' wid Mist'r Race Hoss.

"Mist'r Tom Cat say, 'Nor, Jack Donkey gwinter keep hisse'f kiv'r'd up plum tell de 'lection's ov'r.'

"Sez Unk Gee-Haw Steer, 'I wants yer all ter 'member I kick'd 'ginst hit ter de ve'y las'.'

"Oh, I tells yer dar wus mouty times gwine on gittin' reddy fur dat 'casion; de pastur' wus plum full er flags.

"Sis' Tabby Cat, she slip ov'r ter Miss Race Hosses house an' say, 'Miss Race Hoss, Mist'r Tom Cat say hit mos' kill him ter vote 'ginst Mist'r Race Hoss, but Cap'n Goat done bin sich er good frin' ter our fambly dat Tom bleege ter do like de Cap'n ax 'im, but hit mos' killin' Tom, 'caze he say Mist'r Race Hoss is de man fur de place, an' he hope he gwine git 'lect'd.'

"Miss Race Hoss ain' sayin' nuthin'. She know all 'bout Mist'r Tom Cat's doin's an' Sis' Tabby wusn't foolin' n.o.body but herse'f. Lawd, chillun,"

she mused, preparing to cut some quilt pieces, "how menny Sis' Tabby Cats is bin ter see Miss Lucy heah lately?"

"Well, de speakin' day come. Bline Billy wus settin' off on his stump all kiv'r'd up, so n.o.body kin tell him. Cap'n Goat settin' right close ter him whisperin' all de time, an' Brer Turkey Buzzard he swoopin' all eroun' de congergation takin' messages fur Cap'n Goat, an' pickin' up eny sc.r.a.p uv vit'als he kin fine.

"Mist'r Race Hoss settin' on his stump, too, wid Jedge Eagle perch'd 'long side er him an' Ned Dog on de uth'r side.

"Mist'r Bull-finch an' John Mockin' Bird wus de lead'rs er de ban' an' I tell yer dat musick wus sumthin' ter heah sho' nuf.

"Cap'n Goat say dey doan want no musick playin' at der speakin'.

"Brer Bull Frog say: 'Nor, suhree, you git er jug-er-rum an' put hit wit Sis' Ginny Hen's boys up in de gal'ry, long wid Miss Wile Lucy Goose's chilluns, an' you got nuf fuss fur fifty meetin's.'

"Mist'r Tom Cat slap down on his leg an' say, 'Dat's de very thing; dat ef Mist'r Race Hoss git ter th'owin' off too much language, jes' ter git Brer Bull Frog ter start off de Ginny chorus an' he bet Race Hoss won't heah his own se'f talk.'"