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"It is why you came, is it not? For rea.s.surance that this marriage need not be so terrible?"
She resisted at the threshold. His hand returned to her breast and his lips to her neck.
"You saida you said that today you wouldn'ta"
"I said probably," he murmured. "And I lied."
He took her face in his hands again. "His shadow is between us and I would banish that ghost. Today we even the accounts and turn the page. It will be easier for you this way, too."
She read the decision in his eyes.
"Do not be afraid. I will wait until you are ready and until you want me. It will be all right. I will make it so," he promised.
I am helpless against these feelings, she thought. It is unnecessary to fight them. This is inevitable anyway. I am his forever.
She turned her face and kissed his hand.
He lifted her in his arms and carried her into the chamber.
Chapter 11.
Her thin arms encircled his neck and tightened as he approached the bed. It will be all right. I will make it so. Brave words from a man who hadn't taken a virgin since he was sixteen. Still, he would indeed make it so. Whatever lies he told her today, that would not be one of them.
He should have known. She's just a girl, Andrew had said. One moment they are brave and the next shy. Remember?
He sat on the side of the bed and settled her into his lap. He kissed her until the arm grasping his neck loosened a bit.
Innocent and ignorant. All during dinner it had been all he could do not to stare in astonishment. While he ate and spoke, his mind had recalculated what this revelation meant. Perhaps it made today unnecessary and he should wait. Perhaps it made it essential. In the end his own desire chose the course. He would not let her leave without claiming her. He wanted her and there was only one way to possess her securely.
She touched his face in that tentative way, and his desire surged. He took her mouth hungrily and fought back the cataclysmic storm that threatened to thunder through him. Slowly and simply, he reminded himself again.
He caressed her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and when her arms tightened this time it was not in fear. Her body relaxed into his. She tried to imitate his deep kiss and probed cautiously and delicately. The artless effort almost undid him.
The joy he found in her innocent pa.s.sion surprised him. He had never sought it in other women. It shouldn't matter with Christiana either, but it did. He felt her body responding to him and listened to her sharpened breathing. He delighted in her awkward embrace and in her startled gasps when his hands raised a new pleasure. He reveled in the knowledge that despite what had occurred with Percy, no man but himself had ever aroused her.
He kissed her again, savoring the soft taste of her and the compliant arch of her back. His hand sought the lacing of her cotehardie, and he began undressing her.
The virgin stiffened for an instant as the garment loosened, but then those glittering eyes watched his hands ease the gown off her arms and down to her waist. Her mouth trembled open and her eyes closed as he touched her breast through the thin batiste of her shift.
A small hand left his shoulders and caressed down his chest, and the thunder tried to erupt again. Her fingers slid under the flap hiding the closures to his pourpoint. He watched her earnest expression as that hand fumbled down his chest. Aye. Having chosen to yield, the sister of Morvan Fitzwaryn would not play the reluctant victim.
He slid the straps of the shift down and uncovered her beautiful b.r.e.a.s.t.s. His gaze followed the path of his fingers as he traced their high, round swells. Her breath quickened and she buried her face shyly in his shoulder.
She was beautifully formed, pale and flawless. Her skin was not translucent and white like so many Englishwomen, but rather had the opaque tint of new ivory. It was the color of the bleached beaches along the Inland Sea. He caressed her, whisking and grazing the tight nipples, and her whole body reacted. With a faint moan she arched into his touch. The light brown tips beckoned like an offering. He lowered his head and gently kissed one before taking it into his mouth. She almost jumped out of his arms.
He held her firmly and looked at the startled shock in her eyes. He kissed her cheek rea.s.suringly. He lowered his kisses until that sweet breast was in his mouth again. Jesus, the man must have barely touched her. No thought to her at all. If Idonia hadn't found them, he would have brutalized her. A picture of that formed in his mind, and his spirit reacted with a surge of protective anger followed by a wave of tenderness. He played at her with his tongue and teeth until her bottom pressed against his thigh in her search for relief. He reached back and pulled down the bed coverings. Slowly and simply, but before she left him he would show her the glory of the pleasure. She was all that mattered this time. He rose with her in his arms and turned and laid her down. Dark eyes, liquid with pa.s.sion, regarded him cautiously. He gazed down at her lying there, naked to the waist with her clothes falling around her hips, and he considered leaving her thus. She looked sweet and fresh and reminded him of the girls of his youth lying back in hay and gra.s.s. He thought of the carpet of ivy in the small garden below. If he lived until summer, the warm starlit nights promised a special ecstasy.
Gently he pulled the cotehardie and shift down her slender curves.
Christiana bit her lower lip as shock and excitement merged at the sight of him undressing her. She watched her naked body emerge. When the gown and shift were gone, he untied the garters at her knees and slid off her hose.
A p.r.i.c.kly expectation twisted in her. The fear had not completely disappeared. It acted like a spice in the stew of emotions and sensations that boiled inside her.
He shook off his pourpoint and removed his shirt before lowering down beside her. She watched his hard body come to her, and sighed with relief when he was in her arms again. She let her hands feel his shoulders and back, and she noted the ridges of scars there. He moved into her caress. The heady warmth and closeness overwhelmed her. That strange pounding need went all through her now, shaking her from shoulders to toes.
He kissed her deeply while his hand followed the tremor, sliding down her stomach and belly, reaching down her thighs and legs. Possessive, hot and confident, his caress took control of every inch of her. Her body arched into his touch and rocked to the rhythm of that hollow hidden pulse. Everything began to spiral into the need now. Her breathing, her blood, her awareness, even the pleasure flowed to and from it.
He cupped her breast in his hand and rubbed the tip with his thumb. "I am going to kiss all of you now,"
he said. "Do not be shy. Nothing is forbidden if it gives us both pleasure."
And he did kiss all of her, his mouth pressing and biting and drawing down her body, creating new pleasures and surprises and leaving her breathless. Down her stomach and belly, down even to her legs. Several kisses even shockingly landed on the flesh of her thighs and then on the soft mound above them and she cried out as long, hot streaks shot through her.
His lips closed on one breast while he caressed the other and the excitement rose to a frantic level. She grabbed desperately at his back and hair. His muscles felt tense beneath her fingers, and his breath sounded ragged to her ears.
He rose up and loosened the rest of his clothing. She reached down to help and her hand brushed his arousal. She felt a reaction all through him, and she bravely touched him again as he kicked off his clothes.
Fear spiked through the oblivion of desire.
Impossiblea He returned her hand to his shoulder and then stroked down her body to her legs. Teasing her thighs apart, he slid his hand up and under to her b.u.t.tocks. His arm pressed up against her while his tongue and lips aroused her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
The pounding need exploded, obliterating the renewed fear. She pushed down against the pressure of that arm offering relief but only bringing torture. Her whole body wanted to move in abandoned, base ways, and she controlled it with difficulty. Over and over she bit back wanton cries that threatened to fill the room.
The warm water of his voice flowed over her. "Do not fight it, Christiana. The sounds and moves of your desire are beautiful to me."
Gratefully she submitted to the delirium. When his hand came forward, she opened her legs without encouragement. She felt no shyness or shock as he caressed her, only a torturous desire that would surely explode into flames if it was not fulfilled.
The sensations of his magic touch led her into madness. Gentle caresses created streaks of concentrated pleasure. Deliberate touches summoned a wild and desperate excitement. His quiet voice penetrated the wonderful anguish. "Do you want me now, Christiana?"
He touched her differently and she cried out. She managed to nod.
"Then tell me so. Say my name and tell me so."
In the distance somewhere she heard her voice say it. The frantic need completely took over and her hips rose to meet the body coming over hers.
She reveled in the feel of his long length along her and the total closeness of their bodies. She delighted in the concentrated pa.s.sion transforming his face as he looked at her.
He took her slowly and carefully and she marveled at the beauty of it. With gentle pressure and measured thrusts he seduced her open. The feared pain was not really pain at all but only a stretching tightness lost in the wonderful relief of him filling that aching need. Without thinking, she rocked up to meet his gentle invasion.
She froze as a burning shock stopped her.
He kissed her softly and pulled back. "It cannot be helped, darling." He thrust and a sharp pain eclipsed the pleasure for a flashing instant.
His body didn't stop and the hurt and its memory quickly disappeared as he withdrew slowly and slid in again. It felt desperately good. Instinctively she embraced him with her legs, holding him closer, taking all of him to herself. She found his rhythm and rocked with it in a soundless chant of acceptance. Nothing, not the songs or his touch or Joan's lesson, had prepared her for the intimacy that engulfed them. Skin on skin, breath on breath, limbs entwined and bodies joineda the physical connections overwhelmed her senses. Each time he withdrew, it was a loss. Each time he filled her, it was a renewed completion. It awed her and she sighed her amazement each time they rocked together. He paused and she opened her eyes to see him looking at her. The careful mask was gone and those blue eyes showed the depths that he never let people see. She moved her hand and touched the perfect face, then let her caress drift down to his neck and chest.
He moved again and it was less gentle this time. He closed his eyes as if he sought to contain something, but if he fought a battle he lost it. "Aye," she whispered when he moved hard again. It hurt a little but the power of it awoke something in her soul. She wanted to absorb his strength and his need. She wanted to know him thus without his careful defenses.
He looked straight in her eyes and then kissed her as he surrendered. As his pa.s.sion rose in a series of strong, deep thrusts and peaked in a long, hard release, she felt that she touched his essence and he hers. She held him to her, her arms splayed across his back and her legs around his waist, and she floated in the emotion-laden silence, feeling his heartbeat against her breast. Her body felt bruised and alive and pulsing where they were still joined.
Slowly the chamber surrounded her again. She felt the reality of his weight and strength above her and his soft hair on her cheek.
Still half a stranger, she thought, wondering at this thing that could connect her in indescribable ways to a man whom she barely knew. Amazing and frightening to touch the soul when you did not know the mind.
Her awareness of the unknown half of him seeped around her. She suddenly felt very shy. He rose up on his arms and kissed her gently. "You are wonderful," he said. She didn't know what that meant but she was glad he was pleased. "It is much nicer than I thought it would be," she confided.
"Did I hurt you at the end?"
"Nay. In fact, I'm a little sorry it is over."
He caressed down her leg and removed it from his waist. He shifted off her. "That is because you are not done."
She thought of his almost violent ending. "I would say that we are most done, David."
He shook his head and touched her breast. Her eyes flew open at her immediate forceful response. His hand ventured between her legs. She grabbed onto him in surprise.
"I would have given this to you earlier, darling, but you needed to need me this first time," he said as the frenzy slammed into her again.
He touched and stroked at flesh still sensitive from the fullness of him, and a frantic wildness unhinged her. She called out to him, saying his name over and over as her mind and senses folded in on themselves and she lost hold of everything except the ascending pleasurable oblivion. And then, when she thought that she couldn't bear it anymore and that she would die or faint, the tension snapped in a marvelous way and she screamed in the ecstasy of release rushing through her body. She rode the eddies with stunned astonishment until they slowly flowed away.
"Oh my," she sighed as she lay breathless and trembling in his arms.
"Aye. Oh my," he said, laughing and pulling her closer. He reached for the bedclothes and covered them both, molding her against his body. His face rested on her hair, his lips against her temple. They lay together in a lulling peace.
The intimacy of their lovemaking had been stunning and poignant. This quiet closeness felt sweet and full and a little awkward. In the matter of an hour a connection had been forged forever. He had taken possession of her in ways she hadn't expected.
She slept and awoke to a darkened room, the twilight eking through the windows. Distant sounds of voices and activity drifted toward her. She turned and found David up on his arm, looking at her. He liked looking at her. Like his carvings and books? It was something at least. It could have been a man who cared not for her at all.
"I should be going back," she said.
"You will stay here tonight. I will bring you in the morning."
"Idoniaa"
"I sent a message that you were with me. She will not worry."
"She will know."
"Perhaps, but no one else will. I will get you back by dawn."
A shout from Vittorio echoed through the garden and into the windows. Everyone here probably knew, or would soon when she didn't leave. She thought of the sidelong glances that she faced from these servants and apprentices, from Idonia and even the whole court if word got out.
"You will stay here with me," he repeated. It wasn't a request.
He rose from the bed and walked to the hearth. His sculpted muscles moved as he stretched for a log and placed it on the fire. In the sudden bright illumination she studied his body, casual and unashamed of its nakedness, and noticed the lines on his back that her fingers had felt. Flogging scars. How had he come by them? His dead master did not sound like a man to do this. He returned to her and she watched him come, surprised by the thrilling pleasure she found in looking at him. Pulling down the coverlet, he gazed at her body. He caressed her curves languidly. She watched that exciting hand move.
"Are you sore, darling? I would have you again, but not if it would hurt you."
Again? How often did people do this? For all of Joan's bluntness, a lot of information had been left out. His frank statement of desire sent a tremor through her. She didn't doubt his concern for her, but she knew that his question also offered her a choice. "I am not hurt." She raised her arms to embrace him and the wonder.
Throughout the evening and night he forged an invisible chain of steel tying her to him. She felt it happening and wondered if it was something that he controlled. Links of pa.s.sion and intimacy joined by pleasure and tenderness encircled her.
Late at night, while they basked in the hearth's warmth, she asked him about the wedding and learned that the ceremony had also been moved. They would wed in the cathedral with the bishop in attendance instead of in David's parish church.
"It is getting very elaborate," she mused.
"It couldn't be helped. Once the mayor found out that Edward was coming, the fat was in the fire. I had hoped no one would know and he could just show up."
He spoke of the King in a casual way. Why did she hesitate to just ask him about that relationship? Why did she feel that the topic was forbidden and that to pursue it would be prying?
She sensed that it would be, though, and tonight she did not want to knock on doors that he might not open. She changed the subject. "David, what else do you expect of me?"
The question surprised him. "What do you mean?"
"Considering how stupid I was about this, it won't surprise you to learn that I know little about marriage. I haven't had a very practical education."
"I expect you to be faithful to me. No other man touches you now."
His firm tone stunned her.
"Do you understand this, Christiana?"
"Of course. I'm not that stupid, David. I was referring to household things. Everything here is so organized."
"I hadn't really thought about it."
Then why did you go looking for a wife if you hadn't realized that you needed one.
"Isabele thinks that you expect me to work for you," she said, grinning.
"Does she now? I confess that it hadn't occurred to me, but it is a good idea. I shall have to thank the princess. A wife provides excellent free labor. We will get you a loom."
"I can't weave."
"You can learn."
"How much can you earn off of me after I learn?"
"At least five pounds a year, I would guess."
"That means that in two hundred years I will earn back my bride price."
"Aye. A shrewd bargain for me, isn't it?"