Business Correspondence Part 39

Being situated in your immediate neighborhood and having my store open a greater part of the day, I am sure the proximity will be a great convenience to you.

I have had twenty-seven years' experience in making clothes and cleaning, pressing and repairing them. I do not think you need question my ability to do your work satisfactorily as I have made clothes for some of the most fastidious and aristocratic people in the world.

Sixteen years in London, England, making clothes for Lords, Dukes and other t.i.tled people should ent.i.tle me to your consideration.

Perhaps you may have some lady friends who need garments remodelled, cleaned, pressed or repaired, who would be glad to know of my shop.

I a.s.sure you I will attend to all orders promptly and do your work as you want it.

Yours very truly.

[Signature: M. B. Andrews]

_This letter begins with an apology and there is no inducement to patronize the tailor except his unbacked a.s.sertion that he made clothes for "t.i.tled people" for sixteen years_

He starts out with an apology and his sentences are involved. His boast about the work he has done for t.i.tled n.o.bility abroad indicates that he is a sn.o.b--the whole letter lacks conviction.

Sometimes a man-to-man appeal may have the heart interest that strikes a responsive chord.

Dear Mr. Smith:

[Sidenote: A statement that every man agrees with. Good description.]

An extra pair of dressy, well-made trousers is something every man can use--no matter how many suits he has. Here is an opportunity to get a pair at exceedingly moderate cost.

[Sidenote: Effective method of dealing with a real bargain.]

You know how we make trousers--what substantial, well-selected patterns we carry; how carefully we cut, so as to get perfect fit in the crotch and around the waist; how we whip in a piece of silk around the upper edge of the waist; put in a strip to protect against wear at the front and back of the leg at the bottom; and sew on b.u.t.tons so that they won't pull off.

[Sidenote: Sending of samples greatly increases power of letter.]

Our season is winding up with a lot of patterns on hand containing just enough for one pair or two pairs of "Burnham-made" trousers.

See the enclosed sample. There's a good variety in dark patterns and a few light patterns, not a one sold regularly at less than $6.50 and some sold as high as $7.50.

[Sidenote: This consideration for the old customer is sure to have a good effect.]

These remnants won't go into the windows until Sat.u.r.day morning. We are notifying you, as a regular customer, that as long as these remnants last you can get a pair of trousers from any piece for $5.50, or two pairs at the same time from the same measure for $10--workmanship just the same as if you paid the regular price.

[Sidenote: The last half of the closing sentence has much subtle power.]

This is a REAL bargain, and we hope to see you before the best of the patterns are picked out.

Truly yours, THE BURNHAM COMPANY

_Here is a letter sent out by a rival tailor. It grips attention in the first sentence and carries conviction. It prompts immediate action and every sentence carries an appeal. Unlike the preceding letter, it does not talk about the writer but about the goods he has for sale--the bargains he offers_

The manager and owner of a business which was in immediate need of money had tried out different sales letters with but fair success.

His product sold to men; it would stand up under trial; the difficulty lay entirely in awakening interest in a highly compet.i.tive product.

As there seemed scarcely a chance that the business might be made to live, the manager decided to take the public into his confidence--partly, perhaps, as extenuation for the failure he saw ahead. So he led out with a sales letter beginning with this appeal:

Suppose you had put every cent of money--every bit of your wide experience--every ounce of energy--into a business wouldn't you want to see it go--live?

And if you _knew_--positively _knew_--that you had the test product of its kind in the world--wouldn't it spur you to still greater efforts--if you knew that there was danger of failure simply because the public was not prompt enough in responding?

You, like hundreds and thousands of others, have had it in mind to buy of me _sometime_. It is vital to the life of my business that you make that _sometime_ NOW!

The pulling power of this letter was phenomenal; not only did thirty-five per cent of the list order, but twelve per cent in addition answered, stating that their orders could be depended upon later. In addition, there were scattering letters of encouragement and comment, making the total result a marker in the era of solicitation by mail.

What made this particular letter pull, when dozens of other letters, written by the same man to the same list on the same proposition, had attained only mediocre results?

The last letter made a distinctive appeal--to men--and particularly to men in business. For, since the time of "playing store," every man has met, in its many varied guises, the wolf of Failure--and once a fellow business man is in the same plight, the man who loves fairness will do his part to help out.

That these talking points that appeal to men are efficient is proved by such cases as just cited; once the man-to-man appeal is actually brought out, the response is immediate.

While such appeals occasionally make a ten-strike, the average correspondent must rely upon logic and "reasons why" in making his appeal to men.

The ability to reason from cause to effect, omitting none of the intermediate or connecting steps, has long been held to be a substantial part of the masculine mind. Orators have found that logic--conviction--may have little or no effect on a feminine audience and yet prove the surest means of convincing an audience of men. School teachers early note that the feminine portion of the school lean towards grammar--which is imitative and illogical--while the boys are generally best in mathematics, which is a hard and fast "rule" study.

Similarly in business, the average man is used to "working with his pencil," and will follow a logical demonstration to the close, where a woman would not give it a pa.s.sing glance.

One of the latest selling campaigns, marketing town lots in various new towns between St. Paul and the Pacific Coast, appeals to the logical note in the masculine mind, and grants a concession in a follow-up, even before it is asked for. This makes a particularly strong appeal to the man who has begun to think about the proposition and who senses that, somehow, it is not quite logical.

We have a letter from a man who, like you, read our advertis.e.m.e.nt and sent for more information, including a copy of our contract, and he wrote as follows:

"I don't like the forfeiture clause in your contract. Under it, if a man paid you $950, and then lost his job and couldn't pay any more, you would have the right to gobble up all of his money and keep the lots too. You wouldn't dare to make a contract with me under which as soon as I had paid you $300 you would deed to me the first lot mentioned in my contract--the lot at -----,--and then with each $100 paid in on the contract, deed me the next lot named in my contract.

If you would do this, I would take your contract in a minute, because I would have some land for my money I paid in, if I had to quit before I paid you the full $1,000."

We took this man at his word, and have since thought that possibly there were others who regarded our contract as being too severe.

If this was the reason that you did not invest with us, we ask you to examine the enclosed proof sheet, from the printer, of our new contract, and write us not only if it suits you, but if you can think of any other way to make it any more fair and equitable.

The ill.u.s.tration given is particularly good because it is antic.i.p.atory--nips an objection that may be just forming in the mind of the prospect.