Business Correspondence Part 12

In the arrangement of these successive ideas and paragraphs, the third element in the form is ill.u.s.trated--continuity of thought. Put a jog or a jar in the path of your letter and you take the chance of breaking the reader's attention. That is fatal. So write a letter that the reader will easily and, therefore, unconsciously and almost perforce, follow from the first word to the last--then your message reaches him.

How to secure this continuity depends on the subject and on the prospect. Appealing to the average man, a.s.sociation of thoughts furnishes the surest medium for continuity. If you lead a man from one point to another point that he has been accustomed to a.s.sociating with the first point, then he will follow you without a break in his thought. From this follows the well-known principle that when you are presenting a new proposition, start your prospect's thoughts on a point that he knows, which is related to your proposition, for the transition is easiest from a known to a related unknown.

An insurance company's letter furnishes a good example of continuity of ideas and the gradual increasing strength in each paragraph:

"If you have had no sickness, and consequently, have never felt the humiliation of calling on strangers for sick benefits--even though it were only a temporary embarra.s.sment--you are a fortunate man.

"Health is always an uncertain quant.i.ty--you have no a.s.surance that next week or next month you will not be flat on your back--down and out as far as selling goods is concerned. And sickness not only means a loss of time but an extra expense in the way of hospital and doctor bills."

In the next paragraph the idea is further strengthened; a new thought is presented with additional force:

"If there is one man on earth who needs protection by insurance against sickness it is you. There are two thousand one hundred and fifty ailments covering just such diseases as you, as a traveling man, expose yourself to every day."

These are specific facts, therefore decidedly forceful. Then, while interest is at its height, another paragraph presents a specific offer:

"We will protect you at an extremely low annual cost. We guarantee that the rate will not exceed $9.00 a year--that's less than two and a half cents a day. Think of it--by paying an amount so small that you will never miss it, you will secure benefits on over two thousand sicknesses--any one of which you may contract tomorrow."

Here is the logical presentation of subject matter by paragraphs, leading up from an interest-getting general statement to a specific proposition. Break this continuity of ideas by a s.p.a.ce filler or an inconsequential argument and the reader loses interest that it will be hard to regain.

Make this the test of each paragraph: if it does not illuminate the central thought, fit into the argument at that point, or add to the interest of the reader, eliminate it or bring it into conformity with the "idea behind the letter."

And there must be an actual continuity of thought from paragraph to paragraph. Merely inserting a catch-word or a conjunctive does not build a logical bridge.

The letter from another insurance agent might have been saved if this test had been applied, for it was well written except where the writer forgot himself long enough to insert an irrelevant paragraph about his personal interest:

"We are desirous of adding your name to our roll of membership because we believe that every man should be protected by insurance and because we believe this is the best policy offered. We are endeavoring to set a new record this month and are especially anxious to get your application right away."

The continuity of thought is broken. The preceding paragraphs have been working up the reader's interest in casualty insurance by pointing out the dangers to which he is exposed, the humiliating position in which it will place him and his family to be the recipients of charity in case of sickness or accident, and so on.

Then the writer short-circuits the reader's interest by a paragraph of generalities which call attention to his desire for profits-- things in which the prospect is not interested.

Most propositions can be developed in different ways, along different angles. The problem of the correspondent is to determine upon the way that will prove easiest for the reader to follow. He may have his path smoothed for him if he understands how facts, ideas and arguments will cohere in the reader's mind. It is much easier to follow a proposition if it is developed along some definite channel; if it follows the law of continuity, the law of similarity; of a.s.sociation or contrast, or of cause and effect.

Some epigrammatic thinker once said, "When you get through, stop!"

This applies to letter writing as well as to speech. But don't stop a letter on the down grade. Stop after you have given your hardest punch. This is what rhetoricians call the climax.

A letter constructed along these principles of style will almost inevitably have a climax. If there is an idea behind the letter, if it is carried out logically, if the letter sticks to this one idea, if the argument is carried along step by step, proceeding from the general statement to the specific, from the attention-getting first sentence to the inducement, then you are working up your reader's interest to the point where with one final application of your entire idea to his own individual case, you have accomplished your climax, just as was done in the re-written letter about gasoline engines.

A letter from a firm manufacturing a duplicating machine starts out by calling attention to the difficulty the personal salesmen has in getting an audience with the busy executive. The second paragraph shows how his time and "your money" is wasted in call-backs and in bench warming while the solicitor waits for an opportunity to be heard. The third paragraph tells how over-anxious the salesman is to close a sale when a few minutes is granted--and usually fails, at least the first time. The fourth paragraph shows how this costly process of selling can be reduced by using the mails; then follow a couple of specific paragraphs telling about the advantage of the company's machine. A paragraph on the saving on five thousand circulars that would pay for the machine brings the proposition home to the reader and then, with interest at the height, the last paragraph--the climax--urges the reader to fill out a post card to secure the additional information regarding capacity, quality of work and cost. Logic, unity, sequence, climax--each does its part in carrying the load.

The principles of style and form in letter writing do not reach their highest pulling power as long as the correspondent handles them like strange tools. The principles must, of course, first be learned and consciously applied. But to give your letter the touch of sincerity and of spontaneity; to give it the grip that holds and the hook that pulls, these principles must become a part of yourself. They must appear in your letters, not because you have consciously put them in but because your thinking and your writing possesses them.

How To Make Letters ORIGINAL

PART III--STYLE--MAKING THE LETTER READABLE--CHAPTER 10

_The average business letter is machine-made. It is full of time-worn phrases, hackneyed expressions and commonplace observations that fail to jolt the reader out of the rut of the conventional correspondence to which he is accustomed: consequently it does not make an impression upon him. But occasionally a letter comes along that "gets under the skin," that_ STANDS OUT _from the rest because it has "human interest;" because it is original in its statements; because it departs from the prescribed hum-drum routine; because, in short, it reflects a live, breathing human being and not a mere set of rules_

Study the letters the janitor carries out in your waste-basket-- they lack the red blood of originality. Except for one here and one there they are stereotyped, conventional, long, uninteresting, tiresome. They have no individuality; they are poor representatives of an alert, magnetic personality.

Yet there is no legerdemain about writing a good letter; it is neither a matter of luck nor of genius. Putting in the originality that will make it pull is not a secret art locked up in the mental storerooms of a few successful writers; it is purely a question of study and the application of definite principles.

A lawyer is successful only in proportion to the understanding he has of the law--the study he puts on his cases; a physician's success depends upon his careful consideration of every symptom and his knowledge of the effect of every drug or treatment that he may prescribe. And it is no different with correspondents. They cannot write letters that will pulsate with a vital message unless they study their proposition in detail, visualize the individuals to whom they are writing, consider the language they use, the method of presenting their arguments, their inducements--there is no point from the salutation to the signature that is beneath consideration.

You cannot write letters that pull without hard study any more than the doctor can cure his patients or the lawyer win his cases without brain work.

So many letters are insipid because the correspondents do not have time or do not appreciate the necessity for taking time to consider the viewpoint of their readers or for studying out new methods of presenting their proposition. Yet the same respect that would be given to a salesman may be secured for a letter. Any one of four att.i.tudes will secure this attention. First of all, there may be a personal touch and an originality of thought or expression that commands immediate attention; in the second place, one can make use of the man-to-man appeal; then there is the always-forceful, never-to-be-forgotten "you" element; and finally, there are news items which are nearly always interest-getters.

By any one of these appeals, or better, by a combination of appeals, a letter can be given an individuality, a vitality, that will make it rise above the underbrush of ordinary business correspondence.

To begin with, vapid words and stereotyped expressions should be eliminated, for many a good message has become mired in stagnant language. So many correspondents, looking for the easiest road to travel, fall into the rut that has been worn wide and deep by the mult.i.tudes pa.s.sing that way. The trouble is not the inability of writers to acquire a good style or express themselves forcibly; the trouble is mental inertia--too little a.n.a.lytical thought is given to the subject matter and too little serious effort is made to find an original approach.

Most business letters are cold, impersonal, indifferent: "Our fall catalogue which is sent to you under separate cover;" "We take pleasure in advising you that;" "We are confident that our goods will give you entire satisfaction," and so on--hackneyed expressions without end--no personality--no originality--no vitality.

The correspondent who has learned how to sell goods by mail uses none of these run-down-at-the-heel expressions. He interests the reader by direct, personal statements: "Here is the catalogue in which you are interested;" "Satisfaction? Absolute! We guarantee it.

We urge you not to keep one of our suits unless it is absolutely perfect;" "How did you find that sample of tobacco?" No great mental exertion is required for such introductions, yet they have a personal touch, and while they might be used over and over again they strike the reader as being original, addressed to him personally.

Everyone is familiar with the conventional letter sent out by investment concerns: "In response to your inquiry, we take pleasure in sending you herewith a booklet descriptive of the White Cloud Investment Company." Cut and dried--there is nothing that jars us out of our indifference; nothing to tempt us to read the proposition that follows. Here is a letter that is certain to interest the reader because it approaches him with an original idea:

"You will receive a copy of the Pacific Coast Gold Book under separate cover. Don't look for a literary product because that's not its purpose. Its object is to give you the actual facts and specific figures in reference to the gold-mining industry."

A correspondence school that has got past the stage where it writes, "We beg to call attention to our catalogue which is mailed under separate cover," injects originality into its letter in this way:

"Take the booklet we have mailed you and examine the side notes on Drawing for Profit and Art Training that apply to you individually and then go back over them carefully."

The reader, even though he may have had nothing more than the most casual interest is certain to finish that letter.

Here is the way a paper manufacturer puts convincing argument into his letter, making it original and personal: