Buchanan: Delicious Part 21

Reid nodded.

It had been seventeen years and Cal had never discussed his daughter with anyone in his family. Gloria had known-she always knew everything. While his high school girlfriend had been content to give the child up for adoption, Cal had wanted more for his daughter. He'd wanted to take care of her himself. But he'd been a senior in high school, with no way to support a kid, let alone raise one.

Then Gloria had offered. Cal could keep his child, but she, Gloria, would raise the infant.

Every fiber of his being had rebelled against that. She'd forced his hand and he'd given in to the idea of adoption.

He still remembered signing the papers. How wrong everything had felt. He'd been a few weeks shy of his eighteenth birthday-too old to cry. But he'd wanted to. He'd wanted to take the baby and run. Only the kindness of the adopting couple had allowed him to give Lindsey away.

"How did you find out about her?" Cal asked. "No one knew."

"Maybe no one was supposed to, but Walker and I both did. We heard you arguing with Gloria about it. I don't think Dani knows. She was pretty young."

"You never said anything."

"Why would we? It was your decision. Walker and I talked about what we would do if it was us. We agreed we both would have given up the kid without a second thought."

"Easy to say when it hasn't happened to you."

"Maybe." Reid shrugged. "Then it was done and we figured it was your secret to keep. If you wanted to talk, you knew where to find us."

Reid seemed casual enough, but Cal wondered if there was more to it. A sense of betrayal that he hadn't trusted his brothers with a decision that big.

"I was the oldest," he said awkwardly.

"Right. Set a good example. Don't tell your younger brothers you knocked up your girlfriend. We got that. We both became poster guys for safe s.e.x. Don't worry, big brother. Your experience served us well."

Cal supposed that was something.

"How old is she now? Fifteen? Sixteen?" Reid asked.

"Seventeen. She's a senior in high school."

"You keep in touch with the family?"

"With the parents. They send me pictures and letters a couple of times a year. Lindsey knows she's adopted, but isn't interested in her birth parents." Not that her birth mother cared. Alison had given birth, graduated and moved back east. Cal had never heard from her again and suspected she had no interest in the child she'd given away.

"I always felt bad," Reid said. "You didn't want to let her go."

Now it was Cal's turn to shrug. "I didn't know how I could take care of her."

"You did the right thing. You always do. It was a h.e.l.l of a characteristic to have thrown in my face over and over again."

"Thanks for not holding it against me."

"No problem. But here's the thing. Maybe it's time to do the right thing for Penny. She didn't get pregnant just to mess with your mind."

"I'm sure she sees that as a fun bonus."

"Maybe. But she wants this baby. You should respect that and get off her a.s.s about it."

His brother had a point. "I'll think about it."

"You do that. Want a beer?"

"No, thanks. I need to get back to the restaurant."

He made a fist. Reid did the same, then they banged them together.

"Hang in there, big brother," Reid said. "This isn't your kid. You don't have to sweat what goes on this time."

"Yeah. Thanks."

Cal walked out of the office and headed for the front door. When the valet had retrieved his car, Cal drove back toward the restaurant.

Too much had happened too fast, he thought. Penny being pregnant. Learning that Reid and Walker knew about his daughter.

He remembered the fights he and Gloria had had back then. How he'd screamed at her with all the fury of a seventeen-year-old being denied something precious. It was amazing everyone in the neighborhood hadn't heard. But his brothers hadn't said anything. They'd waited for him to go to them, and he never had.

He should have. They would have understood. Especially three and a half years ago when his marriage had been unraveling. Penny had been pressuring him to emotionally engage, to have a baby with her, to be in their marriage. He'd been holding her as far away as he could while he dealt with the horror of knowing his only daughter had been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.

For three months he'd waited to hear what would happen. Lindsey's adoptive parents had kept him informed at every stage of her treatment. He remembered the agony of not knowing if the chemo would work. Wondering if his daughter was going to live or die and then the joy when Lindsey had beaten the disease.

Should he have told Penny about her? At the time he'd known he couldn't. She would never have understood how he could care so much about a child he had with someone else and yet be unwilling to have a baby with her. He hadn't known how to explain he was afraid of losing Lindsey all over again.

So she'd pushed for more and he'd retreated until eventually she'd walked out. Her leaving had seemed like the best thing for both of them.

He entered the restaurant and spoke with his a.s.sistant manager, then he walked to the kitchen. As always, the level of noise filled his head with shouts, the hiss of the steamer, the roar of the grill.

"Three more salmon," one of the waiters called as he put down a tray. "The lady wants to know what you put in the sauce."

Penny looked up, saw him and turned her attention to the waiter. "Sorry, it's a secret. But I promise if I ever publish a cookbook, I'll put the recipe in the first chapter."

When the waiter left, Penny glanced at Cal. "You left during dinner."

"I know."

Her expression told him not to do it again, but she didn't say the words. Penny was too good for that. She wouldn't chew his a.s.s in front of her staff.

But she wanted to and under the circ.u.mstances, he couldn't blame her.

"We need to talk," he told her. "Around ten?"

"Sure. I'll be the one in the chef's coat."

BY NINE-FIFTEEN, things had quieted down. They'd worked through all their reservations and there were a few empty tables in the dining room. Cal retreated to his office to catch up on paperwork before his meeting with Penny. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to her. He wanted to apologize for overreacting, but he couldn't tell her about Lindsey. Not when she'd just told him she was pregnant. He wanted to make things right with her before he dropped that bombsh.e.l.l.