Broken Pasts Part 8

I stepped back, pushed his hands away and wrapped my arms around myself.

"Nathaniel, I ... "

"Theresa," he said in that strong, authoritative voice. He was so friggin' sure of himself that it was hard for me to entertain option two for very long. He's just looking for s.e.x, Theresa, I tried to tell myself and then immediately followed that up with, but is that a bad thing? Maybe you could use a little unattached s.e.x right now? I looked up into Nathaniel's heated face, his warm eyes, so unlike Gary's that they'd be listed as antonyms in a dictionary, and I knew that there was no such thing as unattached with this man. Once he had a hold on me, he wasn't going to let go. "I know that you don't know me and that this is a long shot, but I think there's something here that could work."

"I ... " I tried to protest, but then he was just there, wrapping his strong arms around me, pressing his mouth to mine, trailing his heated kisses down my neck. "I don't know if I can do this. I'm still ... Gary is ... oh G.o.d."

"I'm not asking you to marry me," Nathaniel said as he paused and pressed his forehead against mine. "Or make promises you can't keep. I just want to get to know you. Is that so bad?"

"Nathaniel, ... " I whispered, but it was the only word I could think to say. Nathaniel didn't pause for long, grabbing me gently by the upper arms and spinning me around so that he could tug down the zipper on my dress. It had been awhile since I'd had any in that particular department, so long that I'd even considered sleeping with Stuart. And let's face it, Stuart was no Nathaniel Sutherland. Strong and dark and s.e.xy and organized and put together. I soon found myself unable to resist, drowning in l.u.s.t and need and loneliness. When my dress fell to the floor in a pool of blue and white and Nathaniel stepped up behind me, pressed the hard, warm lines of his body against mine, I closed my eyes and gave in to temptation.

Nathaniel ran his hands down my sides, grabbed my hips, nibbled at the base of my neck and made me shiver. Without words we communicated with our bodies, brushing, touching, teasing, feeling, and I followed Nathaniel's firm but gentle cues, turning around and sliding onto the desk. He stepped between my knees and somehow, as if he'd known that I'd been dreaming about him, he did the one thing I was wishing with all of my perverted little heart that he might do. Nathaniel pulled my panties off and tossed them aside, knelt down and put his mouth to the burning, pulsing ache between my legs.

I gripped the sides of the desk and tried to figure out why there were stars dancing on the ceiling, blurring my vision and making my eyes water. My hips rose off the wood for a split second before Nathaniel gripped them tightly with his hands and pulled me back down to his mouth, hovering the heat of his breath over my c.l.i.t, brushing his lips along the bare skin of my thighs, pressing soft kisses to my lower belly.

"Stop it," I said, but my words didn't hold the slightest bit of oomph. I couldn't have stopped him even if I'd wanted to, and trust me, I didn't want to. Nathaniel was a master with his tongue, an artist, a magician, a ... When he slid his finger inside of me, I nearly threw myself off of that desk. The sensations were intense, giving me white flashes of brightness in my vision, making me believe in angels and all that jazz. "Nathaniel," I gasped as one finger became two, curled, found my G-spot. Really, before that moment I had never even believed it was there. Even as my back arched and pleasure poured through me, twirled up from my belly and found my limbs, curled my fingers, pulled my head back, I didn't believe. Not until that magic moment, a moment that I had thought would never come. "Nathaniel!" I called out and that was that, I was a helpless, gasping, sobbing mess, being torn apart and put back together again.

The o.r.g.a.s.m, my first o.r.g.a.s.m, was spectacular, like a fireworks show just for me, blooming inside my eyelids and opening me up to feelings I'd never had before. My body tensed, muscles contracting, toes twitching, and then all of a sudden there was this release. I was up, up, up and then I came crashing down, but in a good way. I was more relaxed in that moment than I had ever been in the whole of my life.

"Theresa?" Nathaniel asked as he stood up, leaned over me and pressed his hard body and his harder c.o.c.k against me, pressed his lips to mine and tasted me with the sweetness of my own body. "I'm guessing you enjoyed that?" he continued as he pulled back just enough to look at me, a wicked smile on his lips and a fiery heat in his eyes. I nodded, but I couldn't move. My limbs were hanging over the edges of the desk like a doll's, and I was shaking from head to toe. I nodded my head and watched as Nathaniel brushed the hair from my sweaty forehead. I tried to reach down, find the zipper on his pants and welcome him into me, but he stopped me with a hand on my wrist.

"Not ... " I swallowed. "Not gonna let me return the favor?" I asked as Nathaniel kissed me ever so softly on the cheek.

"Not yet," he said as I struggled to my elbows and found his lips again, pressed the back of my hand to his cheek and rested there feeling like nothing in the world could ruin this moment. Nothing but a frantic knocking at the door accompanied by a shouting voice, nothing but one of my ex-husbands. And it wasn't the obvious choice.

Outside my front door was Glen.

"Theresa! Open up. I know that you're in there!" I looked at Nathaniel looking at me and hoped like h.e.l.l that that man (and I use the word very loosely) hadn't heard me. If he had he probably wouldn't have recognized the noises I'd made. Glen hadn't given me half the joy in our entire three year relationship that Nathaniel had in those few, short minutes. "I need to talk to you."

"Let's ignore him," I whispered as Nathaniel smiled big at me and finally let me put my hand over the b.u.mp in his pants. "Let's f.u.c.k while he sits outside in the cold and screams." I leaned forward and bit Nathaniel's earlobe, slid his zipper down, reached into his underwear ...

"It's about Gary, Theresa. I know what's been going on. If you don't want to lose your daughter, you'll answer this G.o.dd.a.m.n door." I paused mid motion, my fingers less than an inch away from Nathaniel's c.o.c.k, and I knew that I had to stop.

"I ... " Nathaniel removed my hand very gently and kissed me on the lips.

"It's okay," he said. "Let's take care of this, shall we?" And then he moved away leaving me feeling cold and bare. I realized that my scar was showing bright and shiny in the thin bars of sunlight that were streaming in from the back door and covered it with my hand. He hadn't asked about, hadn't stared, hadn't grimaced. I'd seen men do all three. I stood up quickly and picked up my dress. Nathaniel helped me slip it over my head and zip it up before going for his own shirt. His erection was nowhere to be seen, probably crushed by Glen's nasally voice and obnoxious demands. The man had no f.u.c.king respect for me, never had, never would. Nathaniel knew it, too, and it was p.i.s.sing him off.

He stepped over to the door, checked through the peephole and wrenched it open.

"You need to calm down and stop shouting," Nathaniel commanded as I glanced around for my underwear. They were nowhere to be seen. "If you want to talk to Theresa, you can ring the doorbell like everyone else and wait your f.u.c.king turn."

"How dare you," Glen said, pushing his gla.s.ses up his nose and stepping back, giving Nathaniel a disgusted once over. When he saw me standing behind him with my lips swollen and my cheeks pink, he just exploded into this angry frenzy that I'd only ever seen once before at the hospital. I'd thought then, in my drugged state, that he was arguing for me, because he loved me, but it wasn't me at all. It was even about his child. It was about this idealized image he had of a family. He didn't care who it was with or how they felt, just that they were there and he was normal and perfect. That's all Glen ever wanted. "You!" he pointed at me, stepping forward into the house. Nathaniel let him, at first, closing the door quickly behind him before he grabbed the back of Glen's shirt and pulled him back, slamming him into the bookcase that lined the wall.

"You need to calm the f.u.c.k down," Nathaniel said and all that calm, professional bodyguard was nowhere to be seen. He was defending me with a pa.s.sionate intensity that made me want him with a fervor that I was hard pressed to even understand let alone iterate to myself. "Whatever you need to say, you can say it from here." Nathaniel let go of Glen and stepped back, taking a ma.s.sive breath into his lungs and closing his eyes for a brief moment. When he opened them, he was considerably more calm.

"I'm going to file a report against you for a.s.sault and battery," Glen said and I swear to G.o.d, I came this close to decking him right between the eyes. "And you," he said with a bitter laugh as he looked me up and down like I was some harlot from h.e.l.l. This man, this person, who was f.u.c.king Winnie while I still had st.i.tches in my belly, who was s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g another woman while we were still married, had no right to look at me that way. "You're s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g your private detective?"

"Private detective?" I said as Nathaniel stepped forward and Glen stepped back.

"I know everything, Theresa," Glen said as he pointed at me in a way that I'd always hated. It had always made me feel so small. Not anymore.

"And tell me, Glen," I said as I put my hand on my hip. "What do you know, hmm? Do you know how much you hurt me when you left? How alone I felt? How betrayed? Do you even know what that's like or do you have feelings at all?" Glen chose to ignore me, but Nathaniel didn't. He looked right at me and through me, into my heart, my soul. I felt larger than life in his eyes, like I could do anything.

"I know that you've been stalking Gary, that he's filed a restraining order against you. I know that you've hired a private detective to follow him around, accosted him while he was touring houses, sat outside his home at night. I always knew you were strange, Theresa, but this is too much. I can't have Rhea exposed to your eccentricities anymore. Do you know what she drew in art cla.s.s today? A phallus, Theresa. If he's touched her ... " Glen began, eyes on Nathaniel. I watched my bodyguard go from calm to deadly.

"Excuse me?" Nathaniel began as he stepped into Glen's s.p.a.ce, but didn't touch him. He did what he'd done to Gary before, a.s.serted his dominance, showed his power, without lifting a single finger. "You'd better reconsider what you were about to say, and you'd better get your facts straight. You haven't the slightest idea what's going on here."

"I do," Glen said, but he didn't sound so sure of himself anymore. "I just spoke with Gary on the phone. He told me everything."

"He fed you lies," I said as I looked at Glen and thanked my lucky stars that I wasn't his wife anymore. He really was a spineless piece of s.h.i.t. "Gary has been stalking me, and Nathaniel isn't a private detective, he's a bodyguard." Glen looked from Nathaniel to me and back again.

"I "

"And I would never, never do anything to put Rhea in harm's way, not physically, not emotionally." I paused and watched sweat bead on Glen's forehead. "You will do nothing to take her away from me. If you try for custody, I will take her from you and you will never see her again." I took a deep breathe. "And the next time you decide to tell our daughter a life changing secret, say for example, that she's adopted, you will come to me first or I'll kill you myself." I smiled and moved forward, nodded at Nathaniel who opened the door, and held out my hand. "Nathaniel will see you out."

CHAPTER 17.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," I whispered as I paced the bathroom floor with my fingernails in my mouth and my phone to my ear. I was waiting desperately for Jamie to answer, so I could dump all of my emotional baggage on her shoulders. The weight of it had lifted briefly in Nathaniel's arms and now it was all crashing back down on my head and threatening to drown me. I had to tell someone or I was going to burst. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't going to be my best friend. She didn't answer. I ended the call and sighed, leaning over the counter while my heart pumped and my thoughts whirled. Now what? Did I invite Nathaniel to stay the night? What about Cedric? Did they have to switch out now? Could Nathaniel just ... I don't know, spend the night with me? Was I moving too fast?

"Theresa?" he asked from outside the door. "Is everything okay in there?" I looked up, caught my expression in the mirror and realized that I was now terrified of the man. He'd given me my first o.r.g.a.s.m and now I was choking on my own fear at the thought of even looking at him.

"Yeah, I ... just a minute," I said as I thought about someone to call. There was n.o.body but Jamie to tell this to. I was on my own. With another sigh, I approached the door and opened it slowly. Nathaniel was waiting in the doorway between the hallway and kitchen with his arms crossed over his chest and a soft, tentative smile on his face. "I'm sorry about Glen," I told him and he shook his head.

"Don't be. It's actually fairly common for a stalker to try and turn the situation around and blame the victim. Happens all the time." I nodded, but that didn't make me feel any less sick. Gary might not have been sitting outside my window, but he was still there, searching for a way back into my life, however that opportunity may arise. At least I had some idea what to do with the gun now, and a basic knowledge was all I needed because if I took it out, it was going to be a life or death situation and I refused to go down without a fight.

"Should we, uh, maybe put Glen down as a witness?" Nathaniel shook his head again and stepped forward, running his hand across my cheek and through my hair. I shivered at the casual touch and tried to puzzle out exactly what was going on here. If I didn't determine the boundaries soon, things were bound to get awkward between us.

"I think he'd do more harm than good to your case," he said with a smile. "And don't worry about the restraining order, there's no way Gary could get one, especially not since we already filed a police report on him. He's bluffing."

"He's going to try and kill me, isn't he?" I asked, my mouth set in a thin line. It was a horrible thought, imagining Gary out there plotting to take me down, but it was the truth. I couldn't run from it anymore.

"He can try," Nathaniel said. "But I won't let him. I'll protect you, Theresa."

"Until Wednesday," I said as I stepped back and rested my body against the bathroom door. "And then " Nathaniel put his hand out by my head and leaned forward, making my body hum with excitement.

"I'm not leaving you," he told me, but I was already shaking my head.

"Yes, you are. Nathaniel, I can't really afford "

"Really, Theresa?" he asked, but his voice wasn't angry, just confused. "Do you really think I'd charge you after what just happened between us? Of course I'll refund your money."

"No," I said firmly as I looked up into his face and touched his cheeks with my hands. "That's not fair to Cedric. Besides, what are you going to do? Move in with me? Protect me round the clock without sleep, without pay?"

"If that's what it takes."

"Nathaniel ... " I began, and when I realized I was using my 'mom' voice, I cringed. "Let's just get through the next few days and see what happens. We still have a date on Friday if I remember correctly?" Nathaniel nodded and pulled his arm back, wrapping his fingers around mine and pulling them away from his face.

"It's not a weakness to ask for help when you need it," he told me.

"I know," I told him, and didn't know what else to say to that. My bodyguard has just thrown me over a desk and given me the best oral s.e.x I have ever had and now he's trying to go all white knight on me, and I'm freaking out. Is there a f.u.c.king problem here because there shouldn't be, Theresa. Stop being a b.i.t.c.h. "Want something to drink?" I asked and then paused. "Something nonalcoholic. I think I'm going to stay away from the booze for a couple of days." Nathaniel smiled softly and dropped my hands.

"Tea?" he asked as he stepped aside and let me slide past. It was the same sort of thing we'd done a dozen times in the past few days except on this occasion, he didn't stand back all professional like. In fact, he pressed his body against mine and ran his fingers across my belly as I sidled past and started rummaging around in the cabinets.

"I hope you're not a tea connoisseur or anything," I said and nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt his warm breath on my neck and his hands on my hips.

"Nope," Nathaniel said. "Anything you have is more than fine with me." I spun around in his arms and nearly groaned as he used his hips to push me against the counter.

"Even six month old generic brand black tea?"

"Perfect," he said as we locked gazes and I found myself struggling to catch my breath. Apparently the little tryst between us had only whet Nathaniel's appet.i.te for me. "Weren't we in the middle of something?" he asked as he grabbed the box of tea from my hand and tossed it onto the counter behind me. I moaned and nearly collapsed in his arms when his mouth found the hollow of my throat and began to nibble down towards the edge of my dress ...

And then his f.u.c.king phone rang.

"s.h.i.t," Nathaniel said as he gave me an apologetic look and pulled it out of his pocket. "With what happened yesterday, I "

"No problem," I told him as I slid out from between his body and the counter. "It's okay. Take it." Nathaniel smiled apologetically at me and answered the call, switching instantly from suave and s.e.xy to perfectly professional.

"Yes?" he asked tentatively, pausing as if he wasn't sure who was on the other end of the line. After a moment, he sighed with relief and a gentle smiled teased the corners of his mouth. "No problem," he told the caller. "I'll take care of it. You take the rest of the week off." Nathaniel paused again. "Cedric, you only get married once." And then Nathaniel cringed, and I watched as his eyes snapped over to mine. I looked away and pretended to be super busy with the flimsy plastic wrap that covered the tea box. It was the kind that always got stuck to your fingers like it was possessed. "Okay. No, no, it's fine. I've got it covered, and Cedric," Nathaniel said as I struggled frantically to get the plastic bits off of my fingers and into the garbage. "Congratulations." Nathaniel hung up the phone, but he didn't try to apologize or explain himself which I appreciated. You are only supposed to get married once. n.o.body goes into it thinking that it's one of three.

"She said yes, I presume?" I asked instead as I filled the kettle and put it on the stove to heat. Nathaniel slipped his phone back in his pocket and nodded.

"She did."

"And Cedric is taking the week off?"

"He is."

"Nathaniel," I began, turning to face him again. He was leaning against the counter in a much more casual position than I'd ever seen him. If I'd thought smooth and polished Nathaniel Sutherland was hot then mussy haired, T-shirt wearing Nathaniel was even better. "I can't let you stay here without paying you." A dirty little smile turned up the corners of his lips.

"Why not?" he asked. "I believe I already offered up my services free of charge."

"Stop that!" I said as I pointed at his thick, delicious muscular chest. "You see? That's the kind of stuff that just makes me crazy. You can't keep talking like that."

"Theresa," he said as he reached out and wrapped his hands around mine. "You already paid for the week anyway. I'm here until Wednesday afternoon from a purely business standpoint. If it makes you feel any better, I'll dock a bit of Cedric's pay and take you out to dinner."

"You're horrible," I told him as the tea kettle began to whistle and I moved it off the burner. "Are you sure you haven't been on a date in years? Your flirting skills are a bit above the average Joe." Nathaniel's face dropped for just a moment, and I wished briefly that I hadn't said that. Then he smiled at me and pushed whatever feelings I'd just stirred up back down.

"Only my flirting is above average?" he asked as I poured hot water into a pair of tea cups. "What about my other skills?" I grabbed one of the saucers and spun around, placing it between us before he touched me again, and I forgot that I had not only a business to run, but a stalker to worry about and a daughter that I was more than likely going to be late picking up from school.

"I don't know," I said as I stared him straight in the face. "I haven't tried them all yet."

"I'm glad you're back," Rhea said as she beamed at Nathaniel like a ray of sunshine. Her smile was stretched from one side of her face to the other and I think she was even batting her eyelashes. She has a worse crush on the guy than I do. "Because I drew you another picture, but the art teacher took it to show at my parent-teacher conference. I think she's going to steal it and hang it up on her wall."

"I'm sure she is," I said, trying to keep my voice light. Glen hadn't said a single word after we'd thrown him out, and he hadn't called. I would make good on my threats, believe you me, but I was still worried. I didn't want to get into something with one ex when I was already knee-deep in s.h.i.t with the other. "So, what did you learn today?" I asked as I tried and failed to distract us both from Nathaniel.

"Are you going to move in with us?" Rhea asked. "Because I like you way better than Cedric. Mom does, too, I think because she gets pink when you're around." She pointed at her cheeks and strained forward in her seat belt. Nathaniel laughed and caught her gaze in the rearview mirror, tossing in a little wink for good measure.

"I'm going to stay with you for a few days," he said. "If it's okay with your mother." I sighed and glanced out the window. Of course it was okay, how could it not be? He'd asked with his mouth on my neck and his hands cupping my a.s.s. What was I supposed to say? I let you give me some tongue over the desk, but no you cannot stay the night and protect me from my evil stalker, you bad a.s.s, s.e.x machine. I snorted and covered my mouth with my hand when Rhea cast a strange glance my direction.

"Well?" she asked, daring me with her eyes to say no to the man.

"Of course he can stay," I said as we pulled into the driveway and Nathaniel shut off the engine.

"And are you going to have s.e.x with him?"

"Rhea!" I said, but she was already done with the conversation and was halfway out the door. I sighed and tried not to smile when Nathaniel opened mine for me.

"Always a gentleman," I said as I climbed out and caught his gaze, smoldering at me over the top of the door.

"Always," he told me as he closed it behind me and stepped back into his bodyguard position. We were in a bit of a strange spot, he and I, and it was anyone's guess how it was all going to work out.

I followed Rhea into the house and spent the next several hours wondering how I was going to get anything done with Nathaniel behind me, always behind me. He was playing bodyguard again, sure, keeping his eyes trained on the doors, the windows, sweeping the rooms before we went in them, but he was standing so close that I could feel the heat of his body burning through the thin satin of the robe I was wearing. When Jamie finally called, I was halfway to tears, not from sadness but from sheer desperation.

"I can't resist him," I told her and meant it. Jamie laughed and chewed noisily in my ear.

"h.e.l.lo to you, too," she said as I heard the fridge door open and gla.s.s clinking. "You called earlier, but didn't leave a message. I'm guessing this is it. The conversation where I talk you into sleeping with him."

"I already did," I blurted and my best friend paused for a moment.

"You did?" she asked, voice shiny and excited.

"Try not to sound like a G.o.dd.a.m.n pervert for five seconds and help me figure this out."

"Did you do it bareback or did you use a rubber? Oh, oh, did he do you from behind? He seems like a 'doggy style' sort of a guy."

"Jamie!" I whispered angrily. "Christ, what is wrong with you? Would you just listen for a second. We didn't ... go ... all the way."

"You sound like a fifteen year old after her first date. What do you mean you didn't go 'all the way'? What the f.u.c.k is that? Did you screw the guy or not?"

"He gave me oral s.e.x," I said, turning the sink on and letting the water run like a barrier between my conversation and Mr. Sutherland's ears.

"He went down on you? Wow. Nice. How was it?" I heard a second voice in the background and rolled my eyes.

"Who is that?" I asked. "Who are you discussing my personal life next to?"

"It's just Joel," she said, and in my mind's eye, I could see her shrugging loose and easy. What's the big deal? So what if my husband knows that you're deepest, darkest fantasies involve fuzzy handcuffs and s.e.x swings? Is that a problem? "Go on. He went down on you and ... "

"And the details aren't important, Jamie. What is important is what's happening now."

"You're going down on him? While we're on the phone?"