Broken Pasts Part 2

"Holy s.h.i.t," Jamie said as the door swung open and she caught her first glimpse of Mr. Sutherland. He didn't say a word, just stepped aside and allowed her through before closing the door and locking it behind her. "You didn't call me. I got worried," she whispered as I grabbed her arm and dragged her into the kitchen. I didn't think I was going to get any real privacy from Nathaniel, so I made myself happy with the fact that I could put the counter island between us.

"Is he a stripper?" I asked her in a low whisper as her perfectly manicured brows rose.

"A stripper?"

"Is this like the time you sent the 'cops' to come over to come check on me." Jamie giggled and I slapped her arm. "I knew it."

"No," she whispered back fiercely as both our gazes slid over to Nathaniel. He was staring at the cabinet above my head, but I swear, somewhere in that perfectly professional frown was a lurking smile. "PPSD is a perfectly professional organization. Just security, no s.e.x. I swear it." I breathed out a sigh and leaned back so that my b.u.t.t was propped by the counter. "But that's just what they advertise. You should see if you can get a two for one deal on that."

"Jamie ... " I warned, but she ignored me and made a beeline for my fridge. She was dressed in the s.e.xiest, loudest, brightest dress suit in blood red with seamed tights and black pumps, perfect as usual. I would not have been surprised if Nathaniel was using his radar vision to scope her out as she bent over and dug around the crowded shelves for something to eat.

"I'm just here for lunch," she explained as she reemerged with a couple of last night's takeout containers. "I just wanted to make sure you'd held up your end of the bargain." She grabbed a couple of forks and handed me one.

"I'll be right back," I said as I moved towards the bathroom and past Nathaniel. I tried to keep my eyes off of his perfect form, certain that if Jamie were to see the expression on my face, that she'd know I was interested in him. If she found out, she'd never let up. Nathaniel followed as I turned off the shower and threw a towel over the puddle of water I'd left on the floor. When I went back into the kitchen, he stayed right behind me.

"So," she asked as she eyed Nathaniel critically. "Can you talk?" He smiled, but it wasn't as wicked as the ones he'd thrown me.

"If it's alright with Ms. McMaster, I can."

"Ooh," Jamie said as she clapped her hands. "He's a bottom, I like that."

"I can a.s.sure you, Ms. ... " Jamie pretended to pout and stepped forward, extending her hand in greeting. He gripped it and shook firmly.

"Ms. Knowles," she said. "Married, kept my own name. You?"

"I can a.s.sure you, Ms. Knowles, that I'm not a bottom." Jamie squealed and slapped her hand on her thigh. I'm glad she thought it was funny; I was mortified. I tugged my robe over my chest and hoped that she'd let it go at that. "And no, I'm not married."

"Gay?"

"No."

"So you're single, straight, and available. Am I right?" Nathaniel's smile drooped just a bit.

"I don't know about available," he said. "But the other two are correct." She put her hands on her hips and gave him another once over.

"My friend over here needs a little rebound s.e.x. Would you be available for that?"

"Jamie!" I said as I grabbed her arm. "Knock it off. Sorry, Mr. Sutherland," I said, wondering if he was going to quit right then and there. His smile was back though and he seemed amused rather than offended. "Please, just eat your food and go. I have to shower and get down to the office." Jamie scoffed at me.

"It's your day off!" she protested as Nathaniel resumed his quiet, una.s.suming tough guy position. Thing was, he was just too d.a.m.ned good looking to really blend into the furniture. It was a nice try though. "Now I'm definitely not leaving until you tell me why you're going in today. That's complete bulls.h.i.t, Theresa." A knock at the door was all the excuse I needed to slip around her and, with Nathaniel in tow, have him check out the peephole.

"It's a package," he told me with a frown. "Are you expecting anything?" I shook my head, my cold, wet hair flying around my face. I must've looked like a disaster in my horrible, pink nightmare of a robe. Jamie was completely off her rocker if she thought anyone would find me attractive in it. "If you'll excuse me," he said as he opened the door and checked the address label. "Gary Harper sent this," he said and his mood completely switched gears. I hadn't seen him serious yet. This was serious to him. His full lips were stretched into an angry frown and his green eyes were dark. "My suggestion would be to get rid of it immediately. If you would like to see what's in it, I'll open it for you." Jamie came up next to us but said nothing.

"I ... " I wanted to take Nathaniel's advice, but part of me was curious. Curiosity killed the cat, remember, Theresa? "Can we please open it?" I was obviously an idiot. Just take a look at my dating history and you'll see. Nathaniel nodded briskly and pulled a pocket knife from his coat. He sliced the tape on the top and folded back the cardboard. Inside was a mound of white peanuts that he carefully pushed aside until he found the contents. There were a couple of stuffed animals, a stack of video games, boxes of chocolate and books of p.o.r.nography. It was an odd a.s.sortment, certainly, and it scared the c.r.a.p out of me. There was also a note which Nathaniel read and then pa.s.sed to me.

Dear Theresa, You know that I love you with all of my heart. The more time we spend apart, the more I realize this. I want to have a family with you and Rhea. Just because you're a barren witch doesn't mean we can't adopt more children. I think about you every moment of the day and during the night I I crumpled the page up in my fist and only stopped when Nathaniel wrapped his warm hand around mine. Despite the disturbing contents of the note, my blood rushed to my head and I felt dizzy on my feet as I looked up and found his eyes. There was strength there and even if it was only for hire, for the moment, it was mine. I stood there absorbing his gaze, enjoying the lingering touch of his hand.

"You'll need this for evidence," he told me as he carefully unfolded my fingers and pulled the paper out, straightened it, and put it in his pocket.

"Throw it away," I said, trying not to let him see how disturbed I was. "Just throw it all away."

CHAPTER 6.

By six o'clock that same night, I had taken most of Nathaniel's suggestions. I had gone to the police station, changed my phone number and my e-mail, installed chain locks on the doors, and asked Glen to take Rhea for the week. I just hoped she wouldn't hold it against me, but I knew it was for the best. It was either that or hire another guard to follow her to school and I knew she'd never forgive me for that. I had decided not to stop by the office and check in which meant tomorrow, there would be chaos. Right now, however, all I was concerned with was getting into something comfy and relaxing with a gla.s.s of wine. Or a bottle.

"I could get used to this," I said as I sat in the back of Nathaniel's Chrysler. "Having someone drive me around, I mean. This is nice." I caught his smile in the rearview mirror and even though his eyes were fully focused on the road, I would swear that he was looking right at me. Since I knew that was impossible, I took a moment to straighten out my dress and fluff my hair. When I'd finally gotten the chance to clean myself up and come out of the bathroom, Nathaniel's eyes had definitely lingered. And I mean more than in just a professional sense. He checked you out, Theresa. There was no doubt in my mind about that.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," Nathaniel said and his voice was low and s.e.xy, like we were lovers rather than strangers. "My partner, Cedric, likes to tell his clients that they should try to think of him as a help rather than a hindrance." He paused and as I watched him in the rearview, he ran his tongue gently over his lower lip. "Sometimes it's hard to adjust, especially for people that are used to doing everything for themselves, but that's what we're here for, to take the burden off your shoulders so that you can relax." We hit the roundabout near my house and started looping around towards my street.

"I'll try," I said as I watched the neighborhood flash by. Most of the houses still had their Christmas lights up, twinkling like tiny stars on the eaves of houses, across the fences that were never meant to keep anyone out, and strung over bushes and mailboxes in a sea of green and red. "A gla.s.s of wine or two should go a long way to accomplishing that goal. I think that " As we approached my house, I saw the white car parked across the street. It was the same one Gary had been driving the night before. "That's him," I told Nathaniel, trying to stay calm. I couldn't pretend that Gary was just heartbroken, that he was just a lonely man desperate for attention. Not anymore. The note had been ... horrible, sick even. Seeing that car there terrified me more than I wanted to admit. "What do I do?" I looked into the rearview mirror for help. Nathaniel was frowning and his face was back to that serious stillness he had exhibited with the package.

"Unfortunately," he told me and I knew I was not going to like what he had to say. "The difficulty with stalking cases is that we can't do anything. As bizarre as you and I know his behavior is, the law can't and won't get involved unless he actually does something illegal. Sitting on a public street is not illegal. We can't prove he's doing anything wrong." I stared at him, hoping his radar vision would pick up on the shock in my face.

"So he just gets to sit outside my house and scare the s.h.i.t out of me?" Nathaniel pulled his car into the driveway alongside mine.

"We'll take some photos and record the incident. Once I think you have enough evidence, we'll take it back to the police and they'll help you get an order of protection. If he breaks that, then they'll have an actual crime to charge him with. That's how we get him."

"What if ... " I paused, swallowed. "What if he tries to shoot me or something?"

"Well then," Nathaniel said as he looked over his shoulder and tried to smile at me. "You'll have me." He took a big breath and his smile faded just a bit, bared a little of his soul for me. He was doing it on purpose, I could tell, although I hadn't the slightest idea why. Nathaniel didn't know a thing about me, but he seemed genuinely concerned. Was this the way he was with all his clients or was there something special about me that had grabbed his attention? "If you'll excuse me for a moment?" I nodded and he climbed out of the vehicle, long legs unfolding beneath him, dark slacks cutting perfect lines down the sides of his muscular legs. He locked the car and disappeared around the edge of the house. Moments later, Gary came stumbling out from behind the hedges.

"Who the f.u.c.k are you?" he said as he moved down the driveway. Nathaniel was walking towards him, not touching him, not talking to him, just walking. Gary was moving back like he was being threatened and maybe he was. It was hard to tell through the tinted window in the back, but if I was seeing what I thought I saw on Nathaniel's face, then Gary had a right to be afraid.

Those green eyes were burning with hatred, no, loathing. The way Nathaniel was looking at Gary, you'd have thought they were arch enemies, childhood nemeses, soldiers on opposite sides of a fierce battle. There was definitely something going on beneath Nathaniel's picture perfect exterior. Despite Gary's proximity, I felt a little thrill of excitement. There was a mystery in that man and I wanted to solve it.

"I suggest you exit the premises," Nathaniel said, perfectly professional, voice polished and smooth as onyx. "Before I escort you off of them." He reached into his jacket and for a second there, I had been convinced he was about to draw a gun. Instead, out came a camera which he promptly raised and snapped several photos of Gary with. He even took a few of the white car, following my ex until he unlocked the vehicle and climbed inside. Nathaniel took a few shots of the license plate and moved out of the road before Gary could run him over in his haste to get away. Once he was gone, I climbed out of the vehicle with a big grin on my face. If Gary ever showed up again, I'd be surprised. He was a bit of a coward, after all.

"That was incredible," I said as Nathaniel turned to me and smiled. His face was wicked s.e.xy in the glow from my neighbor's white Christmas lights. They highlighted the strength in his jaw, the definition of his cheekbones and the smooth, straight planes of his nose. "I've never seen anyone be so ... aggressive without actually being, you know, aggressive." I wasn't making any sense again. I was like a tongue tied teenager, outside after a first date, wondering if I should let the boy kiss me chastely on the lips. Only Nathaniel wasn't trying to kiss me, he was trying to save my life, and even though it was just for money, it was admirable. I blinked a few times, trying to throw off the horrible white knight syndrome I was currently experiencing, and smiled. I'd just met the man, but I was interested.

"Thank you," he said as he moved through the gra.s.s and paused next to me. "It's not often that I get complimented for my work."

"You risk your life for people and you don't even get a 'thank you?'"

"I get a paycheck," he said and maybe it was my imagination, but I think he took a small step closer to me. I had to raise my chin a bit to meet his eyes. "And satisfaction." My eyebrows rose a bit. If that didn't pa.s.s for s.e.xual innuendo then I had no idea what did. "Job satisfaction, that is," he corrected himself with a small, overtly innocent smile. "That makes it more than worth it to me."

"Well," I said, pausing as I started to turn back towards the house. "Thank you anyway, Nathaniel." His smile dropped into something more genuine, taking away just a bit of that practiced perfection. It took him from handsome to downright fascinating. I knew then that even if it was a bad idea, a horrible idea, a terrible, disastrous mistake that I was going to try to solve the mystery that I had seen in Nathaniel.

Here's to hoping that it wasn't going to be Mr. Sutherland in the library with the candlestick.

I picked out the s.e.xiest pajamas that I owned which actually ended up depressing me since they were nothing more than a clean, sky blue tank top and a pair of silky, cream colored pj pants. At least he won't think I'm trying to get his attention, I thought. Because I wasn't, truly. Just because I wanted to find out what had put that hatred into his eyes and that pretty smile on his face did not mean that I was romantically interested. s.e.xually maybe, but then that was another issue altogether.

"Gla.s.s of wine?" I asked as I poured myself a heaping goblet. Nathaniel shook his head.

"Under a different set of circ.u.mstances, I'd have loved to have said yes. As of right now, I'm sorry, but I can't." I nodded.

"No drinking on the job, eh?" I looked up at him as I sliced myself a piece of bread. "What about eating?" He smiled.

"I've got granola bars to hold me over until Cedric gets here." I frowned at that and spread a lump of brie cheese across the bread before trying to hand it to him.

"Stop being so professional," I said as I shook the food at him. "You're here to calm me down, not make me nervous, right?" Surprisingly, Nathaniel took it and held it gingerly between his long fingers.

"I want to apologize to you," he said as he took a small bite of the bread, chewed it and swallowed it, all without getting a single crumb on the dark lines of his suit. "Because I haven't exactly been very professional. I shouldn't even be eating this. And I shouldn't have said some of the things that I said." I watched him carefully from the opposite side of the kitchen island. I'd only turned on the single light above the stove, letting the warm yellow glow bathe the room in gold. White light just seemed too invasive for nighttime. It was making his dark hair gleam and his green eyes sparkle, giving him an almost ethereal sort of look that I liked.

"Why?" I asked as he finished the piece of bread and recrossed his hands in front of himself. "I mean, I haven't been offended by anything you've said, but if you thought it was unprofessional, why did you do it?" Nathaniel's eyes softened a bit around the edges, taking his bad a.s.s look down a notch. He still looked tough standing there with his clothes clinging to his muscles like only a really expensive suit can, but there was also this vulnerability shining through. It wasn't much, but I saw it. And only because he let me. Honestly, although we had just met, I was certain that Nathaniel Sutherland was a man who did not let his emotions get the better of him. If he wanted to hide them from me, I was sure that he could have at the drop of a hat.

"You remind me of someone," he said and from the tone in his voice, I could tell that it had been someone important to him. "Quite a lot actually, enough to make me forget that they're not around anymore." He paused and a frown cut across his face like a wound. There's your first clue, Theresa. Nathaniel has a past and from the look on his face, it isn't a very good one. "I apologize, Ms. McMaster. I haven't felt at all like myself today."

"Theresa," I said as I refilled my wine gla.s.s, stuffed a container of ice cream under my arm and started towards the living room. "Please, call me Theresa." Nathaniel nodded but didn't speak. I think he'd somehow decided that he'd crossed the client/employee line more than enough for one day. I let him follow me and sat down on the couch, pulling an emerald green throw over my legs as I turned on the TV and tried to find something to watch. I glanced up until I found Nathaniel's chin. He was standing directly behind the couch, eyes focused not on the screen but on the mirror above the fireplace. He wasn't looking at his reflection either; he was just staring as if he were looking at everything and nothing all at once. He must've been in this business awhile to have picked up that kind of skill. "Would you like to sit down?" I asked and got an instant smile in return, a really nasty, dirty, delicious smile. My heart started to thump in my chest and I found myself clenching my thighs to keep other parts of myself in check. Holy c.r.a.p. I could not believe the effect he was having on me.

"You're trying the limits of my self-control, Ms. McMaster," he said and that was it. He remained standing behind the couch as if he hadn't just flirted with me. And he had. There was no way I was imagining it.

"Why's that?" I asked as casually as possible, tilting my head back down so that I was looking at the TV and not at him.

"I'm sorry," he said and his voice was neutral this time, almost too neutral. "But you'll be safest if I maintain my position here."

And you're trying the limits of my self-control, I thought. You can't just throw me a few clues and then take it all back. I will figure you out, I swear it.

"Suit yourself," I said and then paused. "I'd rather have you behind me anyway."

How's that for a little s.e.xual innuendo?

CHAPTER 7.

Rhea showed up on my doorstep at seven a.m. the next morning. When Nathaniel opened the door, she screamed. I pushed past him and grabbed her by the shoulders as she started to turn away, pulling her into a hug. Glen was already out of his car and jogging across the dew covered gra.s.s.

"Theresa!" he shouted, reaching out for our daughter's arm as if I'd just exposed her to a brothel full of naked men, erections raised like flags for all the world to see. "What on earth is going on?" I pulled Rhea forward and put my hands on the sides of her face. I think she'd screamed more from surprise than anything else. Already, she was calm.

"Who's that?" she asked, trying to peer around me at Nathaniel. When I glanced back at him, his face was completely still, like a Greek statue, frozen into perfection. He was too stoic, too emotionless, the ideal bodyguard, like the ones you see in the movies. Either he was putting on a front for Glen or he thought this was amusing. I was betting on the latter.

Glen paused on the bottom step of the stoop and adjusted his gla.s.ses.

"You didn't tell me you were seeing someone." I pursed my lips. Like that was any of his business.

"Hey Rhea," I said, trying to smile through a ma.s.sive yawn. I wanted to be p.i.s.sy; Glen had interrupted the best dream I'd had in years. One that featured a fully naked and willing Mr. Sutherland. "Why don't you go in your room and play some video games. I'll take you to McDonald's before I drop you off, how's that sound?"

"Yay! I want pancakes!" she shouted as Nathaniel stepped out of her way and she moved past him, enraptured by the idea of a little gaming before school. Screw the new guy. I've got better things to do. G.o.d, I had an awesome kid.

"Glen," I said, standing up and adjusting the straps of my tank top. "Why are you here? I asked you to take Rhea for the week."

"Well, it's your week and Winnie wants to take the girls to see her parents." I pursed my lips in anger as I stared down at my ex's severe face. Even with his brown eyes pinched and his thin mouth set in an unhappy line, he had the appearance of being a trustworthy, reliable sort of guy. It's one of the reasons that I'd fallen for him. The types of guys I'd always liked, the interesting, spicy, mysterious ones like Nathaniel, they'd always let me down. I'd thought that no matter what, that Glen would be there for me, even if it was just out of a sense of duty. I'd been wrong. He'd left me during one of the worst periods in my entire left. Left me because I couldn't give him biological children. A horrible miscarriage, a botched surgery, and a pair of cancerous ovaries later and I was left alone while Glen was off impregnating the first woman who'd give him the time of day. Winnie Freeman. You are such a b.i.t.c.h, I thought at him as I started off on a very familiar, very tiresome rant.

"So Rhea isn't good enough to visit Winnie's parents because, what," I held my hands out to the side and then let them drop against my thighs. "Because she's my daughter? Or because she's ... " I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Adopted. Which is it, Glen?"

"I'm not doing this with you this morning, Theresa," he said as he crossed his arms over his pumpkin colored shirt. It did nothing for his skin except wash him out. Winnie had probably bought it. She considered herself some kind of nouveau fashionista, but hey, there's no accounting for taste, right? "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend." His att.i.tude made me want to slam the door in his face, but yet, there was so much more I could do. Except tell him that Gary was stalking me. Then he'd try to get full custody of Rhea, play that against me like a curse. I could do anything but tell him the truth. I stepped back, put my hand on Nathaniel's arm and hoped he'd play along with me.

"This is my boyfriend, Nathaniel Sutherland. Nathaniel, this is my ex-husband, Glen Gibson." To my utter delight and complete surprise, Nathaniel wrapped one arm around my waist, digging his fingers into the my side and pulling me against him. My reaction was instant and surprising. Like a heroine in an old movie, I felt my knees go weak as my blood heated and my body begged for a taste of whatever this man had to offer. It sounds pretty in romance novels, but in reality, it's kind of horrible. I felt dizzy, like I could topple over at any moment and I suddenly had no idea what to say or do, like I was frozen in place with adrenaline and need.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Gibson," Nathaniel said as he held out his other hand and gripped Glen's firmly. I was happy to see that Glen's handshake was weak and floppy in comparison. His wrist looked dainty and liable to snap like a pencil under Nathaniel's strength. I smiled.

"Likewise," Glen said as his eyes snapped over to my face. I felt hot and fl.u.s.tered, like I'd been in the bedroom for hours with the most exquisite foreplay. It was a look that Glen had probably never seen before. This thought surged right through me, took a terrible event from my past and flipped it right on its head. Thank G.o.d you left me, I thought as I stared at Glen's tiny nose and serious frown. Or I might've been trapped in that horrible place between 'good enough' and 'safe.'

I was having a life altering revelation, right there on that doorstep with a stranger's arm around my waist. I had to call Jamie.

"When will you be back?" I asked, suddenly wanting to get rid of him so I could go in the bathroom and call my best friend. I had discovered that using the restroom was the only excuse I could use to get out of Nathaniel's sight. He was d.a.m.n good at his job.

"Tuesday," Glen said. "I'll pick Rhea up after school."

"Fine," I said as Nathaniel stepped back and grabbed the k.n.o.b on the front door. "See you then." I closed it in his face without another word and turned away, letting Nathaniel lock it for me. I grabbed my phone off the dining table and went straight for the bathroom. "I'll be just a moment," I said as Nathaniel nodded and paused in the hallway just outside the door. I closed it quickly and turned on the fan and the faucet.

"What are you doing up so early?" Jamie answered after only one ring.

A chorus of shouting exploded from behind her and I caught bits of, "Good morning, Miss McMaster." There was some scuffling and Jamie stuck something into her mouth.

"I'm kicking your boys' a.s.ses for you, you know?" I smiled.

"Oh, so now they're my boys?"

"Marry me, Theresa, I'm in love with you!" I chuckled as Ray's voice exploded through the line for just a moment as he s.n.a.t.c.hed the phone away from Jamie.

"Little brat," she snarled playfully as she regained control. "Just wait until Rhea turns thirteen and see how you much you laugh then. What do you want?"

"I had a life altering revelation," I said and she spit out whatever it was she had in her mouth.

"You are too much, you know that right? You're like every romantic comedy movie character I've ever seen."

"Good," I said as I sat on the edge of the counter and ran a hairbrush through the tangled mat of black at the back of my head. "At least they always get happy endings. Now be quiet and let me talk. You're not going to believe this, but I think I'm actually one hundred percent over Glen." There was a faux gasp on the other end of the line.

"No!" I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, and ... " I paused. "I have a crush on the bodyguard." Jamie chuckled and I could just see her shaking her head.

"I knew it," she said. "I think he's into you, too, so if you play your cards right, you could be sitting pretty on that pogo stick."

"Mom!" I heard snorts of laughter in the background.