Brite and Fair Part 2

July 11, brite and fair. i have got an idea. me and Pewt and Beany are goin to talk it over tonite.

we are going to have chicken and gelly and hot bisquit and custereds and cold ham and cookys and whips and lots of other things for supper friday nite. Keene and Cele are going to sing shall we gather at the river and theres a chirch in the valley by the wild wood. father wanted them to sing little brown gug how i love thee and we'll all drink stone blind when Johnny comes marching home and Sally come up Sally come down Sally come twist your heal around the old man has gone to town Sally come up in the middle but mother sed no they must sing good chirch songs.

July 12, Keene and Cele and i washed the winders upstairs today. i had to lug about 2 million pales of water. i asted mother what was the use of washing the upstairs winders for him as he wasent going to stay over nite. father he sed if we fed him two mutch he mite have the collick and have to be put to bed and perhaps stay 2 weaks. he sed we must be cairful and not feed him to hy.

July 13, brite and fair, we washed the downstairs winders today. darn the minister ennyway.

July 14, brite and fair of coa.r.s.e. sunday went to chirch of coa.r.s.e, also sunday school. more tuf luck. the minister cant come Friday but will come Thirsday so he will have a hoal evening with us.

gosh.

July 15, had to raik up the yard. i aint been fishing hardly this summer. darn the minister.

July 16, or ennywhere else eether. today i had to cleen the barn and woodshed and pile the wood up neet. i wonder who they think is entertaneing the minister ennyway. darn him to darnation. i hoap n.o.body will ever see this diry.

July 17. we are all nerly ded. mother and aunt Sarah has been cooking all day. Keene and Cele have been practising hynm tunes and i of coa.r.s.e have did most all the wirk. Pewt and Beany come over tonite and fixed up what we shall do to the minister. jest you wait and see old mister minister.

i bet mother wil be glad and Aunt Sarah two.

Tomorrow the minister comes. i bet he will wish he dident.

July 18, brite and fair. we have had a grate time.

i never had sutch a time in my life. i gess n.o.body ever did befoar. everyone is in bed xausted but me. they think i am in bed but i am wrighting this.

last nite me and Beany and Pewt talked over what we shood do to the minister. i told them what father done to old man Ellis and Pewt wanted to do that but i thot perhaps i mite not get the rite chair to put the b.u.mblebeas in and if father set on them i mite as well run away to sea. then peeple has been knowed to tare off their britches when they are stang by the hornits and b.u.mblebeas and if the minister done that it would be very mortifiing to my mother and my aunt Sarah and my sisters Keene and Cele.

so we desided that woodent be proper althoug we wanted to like time. then Beany wanted to put a live snaik in his hat, but we desided the snaik wood scare mother and my aunt Sarah and my two sisters to deth. then Pewt he sed less dig up some of those red stink wirms behine the barn and put a handfull in his hat. you know they smell so that you have to use soft soap and sand and scrub your hands 2 or 3 days before you can get it off. so neether of us wanted to tuch one.

then i sed mother is going to set the table and put on all the chicken and gelly and b.u.t.ter and cake and creem and everything and cover them with the fli screens and shet the doors and have n.o.body go in until super is ready. super is to be at six and she is going to have evrything ready at five and then they are all going upstairs and dress up in their best and curl Celes hair and ty up Keenes hair with a red ribon becaus her hair wont curl and dress Georgie and Annie and Frank and the baby and maik father put on a cleen coler and shert and black his boots and promise to be cairful not to say ennything that would shok the minister, so i sed less go in the kitchen and ketch about 2 million flise and put them under the fli screnes, and they sed i was a buster to think it up.

well at five oh clock the table was all set and it looked fine. i never see it look so good. so after the folks had went up stairs me and Pewt and Beany clim into the kitchen and cougt a bushel of flise and tiptode into the dining room and lifted up the screnes and put them under. after we had prety near filled the screnes we tiptode out.

well father he came home and swoar when he had to put on a cleen shert and coler and i blacked his boots. i have to do evrything of coa.r.s.e. that is what i am for so evryone thinks. mother had on her black silk dress with some lase round her neck and Aunt Sarah two and the girls was all dressed up and father two and they all looked fine.

mother looked the best. she always does and Aunt Sarah the next. Keene sed i hadent blacked the back part of my shoes and that wasent enny of her business and so i told her to shet up and she made a face and run out her tung. then father he sed now if you two children begin enny of that you will go to bed lifely. so we both shet up. well we wated and wated and the minister dident come and we wated sum more and the minister dident come and i got scart, becaus if he dident come the folks woodent see the goke and i wood get time paisted out of me. well finally the bell rung and Cele went to the door. Keene was mad because she coodent and she started to run out her tung at Cele and then she remembered what father sed and she stoped just in time.

sure enuf it was the minister and he sed he was delade because he had to reprove thoughtless boys whitch were ketching small and innosent fish with sharp hooks. father whispered to me that is a h.e.l.l of a reeson for keeping a man starving to deth and i laffed but n.o.body paid attension to me. well they all shook hands with the minister and Cele made a curtsy and sed tea is ready and we all marched out into the dining room mother and the minister first, then father and Aunt Sarah and then Keene and Cele and then the little ones and Georgie and i come last as i always do when there aint enny wirk to do.

well as soon as they got in i herd them all draw a long breth and then Aunt Sarah sed for mersey sakes and mother she sed for heavens sake and father he sed for G.o.ddlemity sakes and the minister he sed my greef what a disgusting site. well you cood hardly see the things to eat they was so covered with flise. then i winked at mother and sed

G.o.d made the little fli and if you crush it it will die

and then i winked again but mother she dident laff back and father grabed me by the neck and sed did you do this devilish thing and he shook me till i cood hardly say yes, when mother made him put me down. then she sed what did you do sutch a dredful thing for and when i heard her voice i woodent have did it for a $1000, and i sed becaus the minister was all the time preeching not to kill flise and mother and all of us was all the time more you dident kill them the more you had to flap out and it got so that you dident da.s.s to eat a piece of currant cake or blewbery bred for feer it wasent what you thought it was and mother she sed and then i stoped quick for i dident want to get mother in a scraip but she sed go on and tell it all.

so i sed she sed that if the minister had to fite with about leven milion flise evry day in summer for evrything he et or drank she bet he woodent preech G.o.d made the little fli and then the minister he sed but my dear boy G.o.d did make the little fli dont you reelise that and i sed and G.o.d made swallows and kingbirds and leest flicatchers and spiders, what have you got to say about that. i had him there but father sed no imperdence young man tell us all. so i went on and told all about it, what Pewt sed and what Beany sed and what i sed and what we done. 2 or 3 times father had to coff awful and wipe his eyes. he sed he got sum pepper up his nose some how he dident know how. when i finished father sed you go to your room and i will see you laiter. so i went up stairs and wated a auful long time afrade father wood come up and lam time out of me. well bimeby Cele come up and sed very solum father wants to see you down stairs in the dining room. so i went down and there they all set at the table with a new super ready and the flise all flaped out. all but the minister. father he sed sit down boy and have sum super and i sed aint you going to lick me and he sed not if i know myself and i sed where is the minister and father he sed he has went home mad. i tride to get him to stay and eat super with us and i tride to get him to go to Hirvey's resterant and he asted me if i was going to punish you and i sed that was a matter between the boys mother and father and i gessed they wood have to settle that themselfs and the minister was mad and woodent stay.

mother she sed i dont think he was mad George, i think he was hert. father he laffed and sed well if i had acted so i wood have been mad but a minister was hurt. ennyway he will lern something some day i hoap. then he filled up our plates and we et and et and et and father told the funiest stories i ever heard. we laffed so we cood scarcely eet.

that nite after i had went to my room father he come up to my room and opened the door and sed Harry are you awaik. i had heard him coming and put out the lite and gumped into bed. i sed yes sir and he sed

G.o.d made the little fli and if you crush it it will die

and then he shet the door and went to bed.

July 18, 186---i bet that old minister wont come to our house again verry soon. we are going back to the unitarial chirch. they have got a new quire there and Keene and Cele are going to sing in the unitarial quire. it will seem kind of good to be there again, and there aint enny meeting in the afternoon only sunday school. i dont cair mutch about sunday school becaus they dont lern us mutch there.

today i rode horseback with Ed Tole. he has got a little red pony not as big as Nellie. it can go like time. Ed rides it without a sadle. when i ride without a sadle and sturups it nearly splits me in too, and hirts my backboan. today we raced. Nellie can trot faster than Eds but Eds can run faster. i woodent swap ennyway.

July 19, 186---hot as time. today i met my uncle Robert. he aint my uncle Robert but is my fathers uncle. he is my great uncle so mother says. he aint half so big as my father. he is my grandfathers brother. my grandfather is dead. my uncle Robert aint quite. father says he is dead but dont know it.

well ennyway i met him and said how do you do uncle Robert and he sed whose boy are you and i sed i am George Shutes boy and he sed huh i hoap you will maik a better man than your father. i wanted to say sumthing sa.s.sy to him but if i had sed what i thought father wood have lammed time out of me. father always licks me for mispoliteness and imbehavior, so i jest looked at him scornful and tirned my back on him. he had went along so peraps he dident see me. i hoap he did. i bet my father is 5 times as good as uncle Robert. i asted mother and she sed i supose sum peeple wood say uncle Robert is best but i dont quite like his kind.

i told father what uncle Robert sed and father laffed and sed i must not blame uncle Robert becaus after he was born they dident find it out for several weeks and so he got a bad start and hadent never cougt up.

i wonder if that is true or one of fathers gokes i can always tell.

then father sed that Isac was a grate trile to uncle Robert he was so tuf, and Aunt Sarah she sed why George Shute you know that Isac never did a rong thing in his life and father sed no i gess he dident but if he had been aloud to go with me and Gim Melcher and Charles Talor and the rest of the boys we wood have made a man of Ike.

July 20, 186---father has bougt 2 sheep. mother sed what in the wirld do you want 2 sheep for and father he sed he got them cheep becaus they dident have enny lamns in March. father says they may have sum enny time now and i must keep my eye pealed.

I have wrote a poim about our sheep.

my father he has got 2 sheep he got them most almity cheep but if them sheep dont have no lamns he'll fill the air with feerful d.a.m.ns.

ain't that a pretty good poim. i bet Pewt coodent wright that or Beany eether.

July 21, brite and fair. i dont cair this time for it seems good to go to the Unitarial once more. i bet Beany is glad. i bet Pewt is two. i staid in the barn until chirch time feeding my sheep. Keene was mad and sed i smelt awful barny. Keene feels prety big becaus she aint got to set in the same phew with me. Beany got stang by a hornet in the organ lof and one side of his face was all swole up. evry time he wood look out everybody laffed. so after chirch old chipper Burly told him he coodent blow the organ ennymore becaus he made faces and made the peeple laff. so Beany has lost his gob again.

it was two bad becaus Beany coodent help it. we are going to get up a part.i.tion to get Beany back.

July 22, 186---brite and fair. it is feerful dusty now and when we go across the street we stamp our feet and the dust comes up all over evrything. it is lots of fun when peeple are near you. went in swimming 4 times.

July 23. brite and fair. i had tuf luck today.

first i got kept in the yard becaus i stamped some dust on 2 girls whitch was going down town in white dresses. mother heard them jawing me and come out and made me beg there pardon and she give them a brush and dusted them off and told me to stay in the yard all day. then this afternoon i dident have mutch to do xcept ho the garden. all the fellers was away fishing or swimming or buterfliing, so i dident have much to do and when old John Quincy Adams Polard went by all humped up over his cain i was picking buggs off the tomatoe plants and i jest coodent help it and let ding 2 joosy red tomatoes at him, the ferst whized by his head and he looked around jest in time to get 2th rite in the eye. well it squashed all over his face and he began to sware and to lam round with his cane and claw the tomatoe out of his eyes. then he come rite back to our house and i squat down behine the tomatoe plants.

i was in a corner and coodent get out and he made for me with his old cain. i hollered for mother and she come out and stoped him after he had given me 2 bats and nocked down 3 tomatoe plants. well mother took him into the house and got sum water and towels and washed his face and promised to have his shert washed. then i had to beg his pardon.

that made twice in one day. that is two mutch i think. then mother sent me to my room for the rest of the day. so i staid there reading for a awful long time and then i was trying to spit in the rane baril and mother caugt me and sent me to bed.

a feller cant do nothing without being snached baldheaded.

July 23, 186---today we wrote a part.i.tion to get Beany back his gob. it read like this,

mister Chipper Burley. Beany wasent making up faces last sunday when the peeple laffed. he was bit by 2 yeller jacket hornits behine the organ and he done prety well not to holler rite out loud. most fellers wood have done it but not Beany. his face was all onesided and looked so funny that peeple coodent help laffin. his face is funy ennyway but peeple have got used to it when it aint swole up.

Beany woodent have stuck his head out if he had gnew how he looked. he was not to blaim. so he wants his gob back and we hoap you wil let him come back.

Yours very respectively.

well we got a lot of people to sine. Earl and Cutts and father and Mr. Healy and Pewts father and old man Dow and evrybody that read the part.i.tion sined it and slaped their leg and laffed. sum of them roared and sed i gess old Chipper will take notise of that.

well then we drawed lots to se whitch wood read the part.i.tion to Chipper and i drawed the shortest one. i always do so i am not sirprized. i am going up to Chips tomorrow.

July 24. brite and fair. i went up to Chips today.

he was in Boston.

July 25. if we dont have rane before long father says there wont be ennything to eat nex year. went up to Chips again today. he hadent got home from Boston.

July 26, i will never speek to Chipper Burley again. he has got the wirst temper i ever see. he gets mad for nothing. i never see such a man, i went up today. i met 2 or 3 men whitch sined the part.i.tion and they asted me if i had seen Chip and i sed no and they sed wel go up as soon as you can so i went up. a servant girl came to the door and told me Chip, only she sed mister Burley was in the greenhouse. so i went to the greenhouse and he was there with mister Busell and mister Alfrid Coner and old Charles Coner and Joe Hiliard. he asted me what i wanted and i told him and he winked at the other men and sed read it and i started to read it and i had jest got as far as mister Chipper Burley when he got mad and grabed it and toar it up and chased me almost down to front streete. i wish i gnew what he was mad about. i dident do a thing but jest start to read it. i bet i wont go there again.

July 27, 186---rany and thunderry. i always thougt a girl with red hair and frekles wood taist jest loke dandylions when you bite them. i meen of course bite the dandylions. i meen when you kiss the girl. i dont know. some day i am going to find out.