Brite and Fair Part 1

Brite and Fair.

by Henry A. Shute.

June 2th, 186---sunday nite. i have been to chirch and sunday school today, not to the unitarial. we are going to the congrigasional now becaus Keene and Cele are singing in the quire. so we go there.

i had ruther go to the unitarial becaus Beany and Pewt go there. Beany blows the organ and sumtimes he peeks out behine the organ and maiks a feerful face and maiks everybody laff. once Beany he thummed his nose to old Chipper Burly. Chipper he was the sunday school supperintendent and was beeting time for the scholers to sing and Chipper he tirned round quick and see Beany, and Chipper he jest hipered into the organ log and grabed Beany by the coler and yanked him out of the lof and wauked him out of the chirch. then he got Micky Goold to blow the organ and Beany he lost his gob for 2 sundays, but Micky went to sleep 2 or 3 times and snoared feerful and they had to waik him up and once he hollered rite out loud. so Mickey he lost his gob and they got Beany back. They tride Pewt and then Game Ey Watson, Beanys brother but they was wirse than Micky. so they hired Beany. he is the best and only lets the wind out one or two times every sunday and the organ sounds like a goos but that aint so bad as going to sleep and hollering goldarn it lemme alone is it?

we had a new minister today, miser Larned has gone away for all summer. the new minister preeched about not killing flise and buggs and wirms and b.u.mbelbeas and yeller jacket hornits. he sed they had a rite to live jest as mutch as peeple and we hadent augt to kill them. i spose it is all rite to let a muskeeter or flee or one of them 3 cornered flise that hangs round a swimmin hole bite you terrible and not even yip. how about bedbugs.

June 3, 186---today is washing day and i had to lug about a million pales of water for old mis Dire, Sams mother whitch comes over mondays.

her hands is all sriveled up they has been in hot water so mutch. mother she sed that was the reason when i asted her and father he laffed and sed he had been in hot water all his life and he wasent sriveled a bit. mother she laffed two. father aint sriveled for he weigs 214 lbs. i gess he dident meen that kind of hot water eether. i am tired most to deth tonite.

June 4, 186---brite and fair. i went fishing today with Potter Goram in the morning and was going again in the afternoon but i dident get home in time to help them flap flise out of the dining room and mother woodent let me go to pay me for being lait. darn it. every day we have to flap flise out of the dining room. we all grab our flapers and begin to flap from one end of the room to the other flaping them into the kitchen. then we shet the doors and keep them out. it is fun flaping for most always i can give Keene a good bat in the ear with a flaper when she aint looking. then she gives me one on the snoot and then we jest go at it til mother stops us. she maiks us take tirns now. ferst it is me and Cele and then it is Cele and Keene. it is never me and Keen any more. mother says we fite enuf without fiting when there is china and crockery and gla.s.s round and things to eat two.

ennyway it is tuf on Cele to have to do it all the time becaus she is good and dont fite.

i told mother what old mister minister sed and mother she sed that if old mister minister had to fite flise for every mossel of food he et she gessed he woodent say mutch about not killing them. Aunt Sarah she sed so two. flise is wirse this summer.

we have got a new set of fli screnes. little ones for the b.u.t.ter plates, bigger ones for the sa.s.s plates and some grate big ones for the meat plates and the cake basket. we had to get them becaus the old ones was woar out and i took the big one and kept a young robin in nearly a week and mother maid me let him go and never wood use the screne again.

we tride to have muzlin screnes to the wiinders but the cat and the dog jumped through them if the doors was shet. mother says she dont know what she will do if the flise get enny wirse.

June 5, 186---it raned last nite. brite and fair today. it raned hard and the sidewalks was filed with pudles of water. me and Beany had lots of fun spatering peeple. the way we do it is this.

when we see sum peeple waulking on the sidewaulks we run by them fast and stamp hard in the pudles and the water spaters all over them. we dont do it to wimmen and girls. but we do to men and fellers. it is lots of fun to hear them sware. Beany got 2 bats in the ear and a kick and i got 3 bats in the ear and 2 kicks. so i beat Beany. one of the kicks was a peeler. ennyway we had lots of fun.

today all the fellers and girls got a letter from old mister minister and it had in it a peace of poetry like this

do you know how menny flise fli about in the warm sun how menny fishes in the water G.o.d has counted eevry one every one he called by naim when into the wirld it caime.

there was a lot moar to it but i aint got no time to wright enny moar of such stuf as that. i showed it to mother and she said when he got older peraps he wood know moar.

June 6, 186---clowdy today. jest the day to go fishing but i had to ho in the garden. if it had raned i coodent ho the beans becaus if you ho when it is wet they will be all covered with black specks like Whacker Chadwick had when he had the measles.

i have et them like that and they taist jest like those yeller spots in creem tarter bisquit when it gets way in a corner of your mouth up under your ear on the inside and you cant reech it with a drink of water.

ennyway it dident rane and i had to ho whitch is jest my luck. mother let me go at 4 oh clock to go in swimming with the Chadwicks and Potter and Skinny Bruce. we had sum fun tying gnots in Skinnys shert sleev. we bet Skinny coodent swim across under water and while he was doing it we wet his shert sleves and tide hard gnots in them.

Skinny coodent unty them becaus he aint got enny front teeth. most of the fellers can unty gnots eesy with their teeth but Skinny had to go home with his shert tide around his neck and his jacket b.u.t.tened up t.i.te.

the 3 cornered flise has come and bit Skinny terrible while he was trying to get into his shert.

i hollered oh Skinny, do you know how meny flise fli about in the warm sun and Skinny he up and chased me as far as Gilmans barn and wood have chased me further but he hadent enny shert on.

i guess if the old minister had heard Skinny sware he woodent have sed mutch more about flise.

June 7, 186---brite and fair. not mutch today.

tonite the band played in the band room. Ed Tilton has got a new basehorn. it is auful shiny and almost as long as he is. Potsy Dirgin played a fife. father says peraps i can have a fife some day but a cornet costs two much money. they played a new march and a peace that mother said was a romanse from leeclare. mother used to play it. i asked her where leeclare was and she sed it was a mans name. Cele can hear a band peace once and play it on the piano jest as good as they can. i can whistle it all rite but she can put in the alto and the treble and the base jest like it is rote.

June 8, 186---brite and fair. not mutch today only swiming and playing base ball and a fite down town whitch old Swain and old Kize the poliseman stoped. tonite we all have to take a bath in the tub in the kichen. Mother maiks me use soft sope.

the others use casteel sope but mother says soft sope is the only thing that will get me cleen. it stings terrible when it gets into a cut or a soar place.

after a feler has been stang with soft sope in a cut on his hand or on his leg with a nail or a peace of gla.s.s or a tin can he dont care mutch for anything but a yeller jakit hornit. i had to lug all the water for the tub and i had to fill it with fresh water for every one of us. they aint enny sense in that. onct wood have been enuf. twict wood ennyway.

June 9, 186---Sunday again brite and fair it is always brite and fair sundays so fellers has to go to chirch. last nite when Keene was going to bed we heard sum feerful screaches in her room. mother and aunt Sarah just hipered upstairs thinking Keene had tiped over the lamp and was burning to deth and both hollering for mecy sakes what is the matter.

nothing was the matter only a dorbugg had flew into her hair and stuck there and scart her most to deth. mother said she had augt to be ashaimed of herself. mother give me the dorbugg and i am going to put it down Beanys back. i bet Beany will gump.

Beany come to our chirch today. they wasnt eny chirch at the unitarial. in sunday school Beany spoke a peace about a fli. it said G.o.d made the little fli but if you crush it it will die and then he set down. the rest of us laffed but the minister told us it was the best peace of all and it showed that Elbridge, that is Beany you know, was kind to flise and ins.e.x of all kinds and if we was all like Elbridge, Beany you know, the wirld woodent have as mutch mizzery in it. we was all mad with Beany for showing off and we were going to lam him one after school let out. he cought a big b.u.mbelbea whitch had flew in to the window and took sum wax and hitched a long white thread to the b.u.mbelbea and let him go and he flew all over the chirch with that long white thread hanging down like a kite tail. everybody laffed and the girls screemed and ducked there heads down and the minister tride a long while to ketch the b.u.mblelbea and finely he cought it by the thred and it clim up the thred and stang him and he sed drat the pesky thing and snaped his fingers and the bea flew out of the window.

then the minister sed it was natural for the bea to be scart only he sed terrorfide whitch meens the saim, and it dident know who was befrending it.

but it was crool to tie a string to him and the boy whitch done it wood suffer. enny way he sed you woodent do it wood you Elbridge and Beany he sed no sir. then Beany he went behine the organ and we sung oh how happy are we all in our little sunday school and Beany let the wind out of the organ 2 times. so we aint going to lam Beany.

ennyway the ministers thum is all swole up.

June 10, 186---i put the dorbugg down Beanys back. you aught to heard him holler.

June 11, 186---rany and cold. a big black ant has got 2 nippers and can bite like time. i am going to put one down Beanys back some day.

June 11, 186---the cat drank sum fli poison today and dide. we are going to have some fli paper after this. father says all you got to do is to get sum pich and spred it on brown paper and the flise will get their hine legs all stuck up on it and die. so tomorrow i am going down to the sawmill and scraip a lot of pich off the ends of the logs.

June 12, 186---brite and fair. today i scraiped a lot of pich off the logs and then took it home and tonite father warmed it until it was all runny and spred it on a lot of sheets of brown linen. it was awful sticky, i bet it wood hold a cat, then befoar we went to bed he put 1 in the kitchen sink and 2 on the table and 2 on the dining room table and 2 in the setting room, and he hung one up over the sink to kech flise on the wall. well in the middle of the nite i heard awful swareing down stairs and heard father hollering for mother to come down. i set up and lissened. i gnew it wasent berglers for father cood nock the stuffing out of enny bergler and if it was i gnew he woodent let mother come down where they was dainger. so i lissened and oh time how father was swareing. i never heard enny such swareing in my life, and father aint a swareing man.

then i heard mother begin to laff. then i gnew it was all right. so i lissened. then i heard father say for G.o.d's sake get the sizzers and cut this d.a.m.n linen off my head, and mother sed keep still and stop swareing, and father he sed, i have got to keep still for i am all stuck up and i had augt to be aloud to sware. then he laffed. then mother she said i am afrade i shall have to cut off most of your hair, and father he sed get hold of the end of it and yank quick. then i heard him say why dont you pull a poor cusses head off and she sed i gess i have jugging by the looks of this linen. it is all covered with hair. then i heard her cutting with sizzers and then he sed it is lucky i came down in my shert tale if i had been dressed i wood have had to go to bed tomorrow until you went down town to by me a new sute. you see father had gone down for a drink of water in the dark and had got into the fli paper. father had augt to know better than to do that becaus once he drunk sum water out of a dipper in the pale in the dark and the nex morning he found my squirrel drowneded in the pale and he never gnew whether it was drownded before he drank or after he drunk and it made him sick to wonder whitch was whitch. well after a while father and mother come up stairs again, i cood hear Keene and Cele gigling in there room and i wanted to holler do you know how many flise fli about in the warm sun but i dident da.s.s to. this morning mother sed that father he sed he forgot all about the drink of water and dident get it but we aint going to have enny more fli paper round the house. it was wirse than having a poliseman with handcufs and twisters.

June 13, 186---i am having awful tuf luck with my hens this year. Miss Dires cat cougt 8 of my chickings this week. i went over to tell her about it and have her pay for the chickings and she sed how did i know it was her cat and i sed it was a old yeller cat that she had for 2 or 3 years and i see it runing with a chicking in its mouth. then she sed it wasent her cat and i sed all right i am going to kill it with a rock and she sed you better not kill it if you know what is good for you and i sed what do you care if it aint your cat and she sed i will maik it mine if you kill it and you will wish you was ded if you kill it. so i went home.

then Nellie steped on my best hen whitch was scraching behine her in the stall and squashed her almost as flat as a doremat. enny way i have got to do sumthing about that cat. i wonder what old mister minister wood do if a cat killed his chickings.

i supose he wood say it is rong to kill a cat and that a cat had as mutch rite to live as---as---well as old Mis Dire.

June 14, 186---2 chickings gone today. i let a rock ding at the cat and jest missed her. i wish i had a bull dog.

June 15, 186---went in swiming today. 3 times.

The 3 cornered flise are auful and bit like time. i squashed lots of them and they wont fli about in the warm sun enny more. I dont cair. me and Pewt are going to set a trap for the cat. Pewt can make bully box traps. if he ketches the cat i am going to give him my collexion of birds egs. it is werth it. i aint got menny chickings left.

June 16, 186---brite and fair of course. it always is sunday. i went to chirch sunday and to sunday school. i wanted to go to the Unitarial but father he sed no i wood go where he told me to or i coodent go at all. i thought i had got him there and i sed all rite i will stay to home and he sed all rite you can stay to home and stay in bed. so i thougt i had better go to chirch and i sed all rite i will go to chirch. i told him as long as we had got a phew in both chirches someone augt to set in it once in a while. the minister is going to get up a club to study ins.e.x throug the telescope and to lern us about their ways. he said beas have queans and droans and aunts have a government and keeps cows. i wonder if he xpects us to beleeve that. and flees can be traned to ride a vellosipede but he dident know that if you ketch a big grashoper and say grashoper gashoper gray give me sum mola.s.ses and then fli away the grashoper will give you some mola.s.ses.

just think he dident know that and he dident know that ef you squashed a caterpiller it would rane before nite. we have all got to join the club. i wish i had staid in bed.

tonite Pewt come over with a big box trap and we set it in the hen coop and left the dore open.

i bet we will ketch her. we bated it with a peace of pikerel.

June 17, 186---Gosh what do you think. we have caugt that cat. this morning i went to the hencoop and the trap was sprung. when i shook it a little i cood hear the old cat growl and spitt. so i nailed the cover down so he coodent get out and gess what we done with him. tonite after dark we carried the box to the deepo and put him on the nite fraight trane for Haverhill. n.o.body see us. we wated till the trane started and then went home. Pewt wanted to drownd the old cat but i thougt if we did i wood have to lie about it and while i can lie good if i have to i had ruther not. and it wood be eesier to say i dident know ehere the cat was peraps it wood be in Haverhill and peraps in Boston.

June 18, 186---brite and fair. Gosh what do you think. the first thing i see this morning was that old cat setting on Mis Dires steps. i thougt she must have comeway back from Haverhill but after breckfast old mother Moulton come over and asted me if i had seen her cat. she was terrible xcited and asted me more than 40 questions but i dident know ennything. Pewt come down and sed she had been to his house and to Beanys and all over the naborhood.

gosh i bet we caugt her cat and sent it away.

ennyway what rite had her old cat in my hencoop.

tonite me and Pewt set a new trap and bated it with a fresh sucker. i have got to get the old yeller cat. one more chickling disapeared to day.

June 19, 186---it raned hard last nite. i gess cats staid to home and dident go out. this morning the trap wasent spring. had to ho in the garden after it dride up. toniet we put a big shiner in the trap for bate.

June 20, 186---we cogt that old cat today. i know it was her this time becaus when the cover come down it pinched her tale and there was a bunch of yeller hair in front of the trap. tonite we put the trap on the fraight trane and that is the last of that old cat. old mother Moulton is still hunting for her cat. i wonder if the 2 cats will know eech other when they meet in Haverhill. i xpect mis Dire will be over tomorrow to find out where her old cat is. i dont know where she is. i havent hit her or killed her and i dont know what has become of her.

June 21, 186---brite and fair. today i saw that old cat again. i wonder whose cat we cought. i had to pay Pewt 10 cents for his traps. we set another for tonite.

June 22, 186---awful hot today. i dident ketch that cat. i went fishing today for some cat bate.

went in swimming 5 times. got some good shiners.

i have found out whose cat we sent to Haverhill the last time. there was a peace in the Exeter News-Letter whitch sed. lost a valuble black and yeller striped tiger cat. a grate pet. had on a red satin bow. a suteable reward will be paid for infirmation as to whareabouts. A. P. Blake. gosh A.

P. Blake is Mager Blake who owns the Squamscot Hotel. I know that cat. i wish me and Pewt gnew some peeple in Haverhill peraps we cood get the reward. tonite i paid Pewt another ten cents and we set another trap. i wonder whose cat we will get nex time.

June 23, 186---brite and fair, i never knew it to rane sunday. cougt another, dont know whose cat it is. if we open the cover the cat will gump out and if we dont sum body elces cat may get sent Haverhill.

ennyway enny cat whitch is cougt in my hencoop has got to take chances.