Boku no Bungeibu ni Bitch ga Irunante Arienai Vol 1 Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – There can’t be Two Great b.i.t.c.hes in my cla.s.s

Inside a cla.s.sroom, in the morning around the time when students commuting to school, I concluded my own thought about b.i.t.c.hes.

It’s been half a month since I started enrol in Urotan High, a famous college-prep school within the prefecture.

Sitting on the front seat near the window, I was wrapped in a brand-new summer uniform and looking up at a certain girl.

“Ikuno-kun, were you listening?”

The beautiful girl with long, black hair who stands in front of me is peering at me with a bitter smile.

It was ’cause I look at her, that causing me to fall deep in thought about b.i.t.c.h.

“Y-Yeah, I am. …Uh, Shinonome-san, aren’t you too close?”

“Ah, sorry!”

The cla.s.s rep, Shinonome Ibuki’s cheeks crimson as she distances herself.

“You weren’t saying anything, so I thought you’re feeling unwell…”

She has a clear and gentle eyes despite it slanted a bit, her appearance is the very picture of beautiful; the shiny, black hair that extended to her waist are lovely, and the white Alice band with blue rose she wore made her looks even more charming.

“Nah, don’t be. Anyway, what do you need with me?”

“Uh… So you weren’t listening after all.”

“Um, well… uh, sorry.”

“Ufufu, it’s fine. I’ll explain it again.”

She who popular and kind to anyone, smiles softly and brushes her hair elegantly.

The only daughter of conglomerate Shinonome, the one who manages this school — that’s her, Shinonome Ibuki.

She’s the so called proper lady; gentle, has a good personality, and an honor student who strikes first in school and good at sports as well. She also doing her darndest in her cla.s.s rep’s works; and with all those abilities, the student council scout her so she now serves as the student council president’s a.s.sistant.

Plus, she is a beautiful girl that can be said as the hottest girl in school and very popular among boys; and thanks to her charisma, the girls supported her as well. She’s a superwoman so to say.

Compared to me, your daily nerd who doesn’t stand out much in cla.s.s, the difference is like heaven and earth.

“I was talking about the literature club you’re preside in, Ikuno-kun. You were the one who establish that club, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, though… What about it?”

I ask her despite all this bad feeling I’m having.

And then Shinonome-san averts her eyes, seeming troubled.

“Um, honestly it’s hard to say. However, as it is, literature club will be disbanded. That’s why I want to relay this to you.”

“SAY WHAT?!”

I shout unintentionally.

That is my one and only paradise. If I were to lose it, then where am I supposed to enjoy all those LNs and mangas inside my bag?! As well as my capped anime and galge?!

“H-Hold on! Disbanded?! We already have enough members, don’t we?!”

On top of having Shinonome-san standing beside me, my loud voice draws us even more attention.

I really hate being stand out. But now isn’t the time to sweat it.

Shinonome-san smiles kindly, seeming to try soothing a child.

“Certainly, you are. However, there are no one but you who’s a regular member in literature club, are there?”

Ugh… That’s right, I’m the only regular member. It’s a club composed of ghost members I managed to gather with the condition of only borrowing their names.

“All members except the president are ghost members. This time we have that kind of report and was exposed in student council.”

Apparently sympathizing with me, Shinonome-san also listless, as though it’s her own problem.

What a good girl. Now I get why she’s so popular among boys and girls.

But wait, those who know I’m the only regular member of literature club are me and…

“Shinonome-san, could you cut it out already?”

“Eh, what do you mean?”

Her smile is so dazzling! Nevertheless, I continue to finish my words.

“Would you mind to stop stepping on my foot?”

“Ufufu. Whatever are you talking about, stupig?”[1]

How could she say such outrageous thing with a smile, this hoe!

“Hey, wouldn’t it be disastrous if someone happened to hear that?”

“Your concern is baseless. Everyone trust me dearly, after all. Ufufufu.”

Guriguriguri, she continues stepping me with her shoe tip.

If one were to ask since when she did it, I’ll answer that it was since she knew I weren’t listening to her.

And yet, she only showed me a worried and sympathized expression all this whole time.

“A-As usual, you’re really something, eh, Shinonome…”

“Isn’t it all your fault for ignoring what I have to say? Don’t you feel you’re throwing all the blame on the wrong person? —My. Good morning Sugiyama-san, Murakami-san.”

As she keeps torturing me, Shinonome greets female students with smile and changed tone of voice.

Guess no one would ever imagine that Shinonome Ibuki is stepping on my foot joyfully, not even in their wildest dream.

“Haa, oh well… Anyway, the one who know I’m the only regular member of literature club is you, who occasionally visit the clubroom, aren’t you, Shinonome? So, why would you report it?”

“Of course ’cause I want to put you in trouble.”

So simple. And she really does sounds so happy when she said it.

“Seriously. It’s always bothering me all this while; why would you so attached to me, Shinonome?”

“Because you’re special.”

“Special?”

“Yes. Since I enrolled here, all of the boys were enticed with my beauty and they’d do everything I say. However, you immediately realized my other personality and you wouldn’t do as I say. You’re the first person who saw through the real me. So you’re special.”

“Special, eh… Saying it that way would sounds like you like me so cut that, will you?”

“! …C-Could you refrain from saying something so ridiculous?”

She faltered for a moment, and as though remembered it, she starts stepping on my foot again.

“…Don’t get ahead of yourself. I just want to train you as a livestock.”

“Kuh, dammit… Look at what a troublesome person I’ve gotten myself into.”

Shinonome is considered as the so called neat-type b.i.t.c.h. She’s a dangerous kind who excels in deceiving and winning over men with her looks.

Talking about neat-type b.i.t.c.h, it’s an existence that planted the worstest memories within me among all b.i.t.c.hes I’d met. Well, if I were to go around it, it was something that happened back when I was a soph.o.m.ore in middle school. Back then, I was close with good nature and graceful black hair bishoujo until we are about to reach “going out” level.

She who said she wasn’t going out with anyone asked me few things like my favorite girls’ attire and hairstyle, also a birthday present that would make me happy, we even had a date. At that time, I was pretty much sure that she likes me. And it’d be only counting time until she confesses to me.

But, she actually had a boyfriend, and I was only a test-run so her relationship with her first boyfriend could go well. Just remembering it makes me depressed. Ah! Dammit!

“A beauty like me is looking after a mere livestock like you. Be grateful.”

“Kuh… This is why beautiful girls are… Look, I’ll keep say this, I really hate b.i.t.c.hes like you, Shinonome. Even if you could deceive those random guys, I won’t ever fall for a woman like you!”

“Fufu, that part of yours is irresistible. This first sensation of not-so-easily-to-get. Ahh, it’s really good…”

Shinonome pats her stomach lightly —as though it was tingling— as she blushes and smiles ecstatically.

Heck, she completely interested in me now…

Even though I’ve decided not to get involved with beautiful girls in high school, it’s like it’d completely backfiring me instead. My head got really hurt thinking about it.

“…That said, I’d be troubled for real if literature club is going to get disbanded. If I were to go home, I won’t be able to enjoy my amus.e.m.e.nt because of my little sister. And if literature club disbanded, then where am I supposed to enjoy my hobbies?!”

“You’ve said the same thing before. Was that little sister of yours a bro-con?”

“Uh, that’s no longer what you’d called a bro-con…”

Remembering my little sister who taught me the very existence of b.i.t.c.hes, shivers run down my spine.

“Fine then. You don’t have to worry about your club activities for the time being. Your club only short on members, so you can just recruit more regular members.”

“Ah, right!”

Being too desperate over the situation, I couldn’t even think of that simple solution.

“How many people should I recruit, Shinonome?”

“Another two people within a month, I guess. Do that and you’ll avoid having your club disband.”

“Two people within a month, huh. Talk about hurdles…”

In third year of my grade school, ‘the once popular and have many friends me’ got a show-off girl marked me, as a result, I was ostracised in the cla.s.s. Learning from it, I’m not making much friends and live obediently by the motto of “more than an acquaintance, less than a friend” now.

Even so, I could managed to gather the required ghost members to establish the club. It’d be a different story if I’ve to recruit regular members, though. In school, I don’t have that kind of friend who’d join the club for me…

“Ufufu, Ikuno Kousuke. Let me state this first, that’s not the only condition to keep your club running, alright.”

“Eh, there are more?!”

“But of course. After all, your literature club isn’t doing any public activities. Every time I went to check things up, you’re only consuming subculture literature like manga or light novel.”

Well, she’s d.a.m.n right…

“That’s why if you don’t want your club disbanded, I’ll have you accept one more condition. I want you to help with some student council’s works.”

“Specifically?”

When I ask her languidly, Shinonome floats a faint smile, as though things went according her plans.

“It’s an easy task. You only ought to respond students’ consultation. The student council is busy with other stuffs, that we can’t reach there right now. That’s why I want you to help us with that.”

“If I were to accept that and recruit regular members within a month, the club won’t get disbanded, right?”

“Yup, that’s right. It’s not a bad deal, is it?”

I don’t think I’m the right person to respond students’ consultation. But, my paradise — my literature club’s existence is put at stake. I had no choice.

“It’s settled then. I don’t hate obedient livestock, you know.”

“Who’s a livestock! Anyway if you’re done with your business then scr—”

Suddenly, the corridor become noisier as a cheerful girl enters the cla.s.sroom.

“Morning!”

Whoa, she came…

Wearing a pink ribbon with side-ponytail blonde hair swaying lightly, her name’s Aizawa Manaha.

“Fuu. I missed the train so I thought I’d be late~”

She whose body is slender like a model, has a jacket wrapped in her waist; the chest part of her blouse is opened that one can see her plump pair, and she is putting on white loose socks —a fashion from 15 years ago that made a trends back— on her feet. She has nail make-up applied in her finger and sparkling earrings in her ears. She’s a stylish gal and apparently is working as a dokusha model or something.

“Yup, Makino-kun and Sawashiro-kun, morning! You too, Shouko, Mutsuki!”

After reaching the seat diagonal behind me, Aizawa greets the boys and the girls who gathered in the surroundings vigorously.

“It’s tough telling whether the temperature is hot or cold, right?”

She —who smiles bitterly and wipes her forehead using handkerchief— is so lovely that she could be mistaken as an angel with that fair-skin and that dyed bright blond hair of her.

There were already herd of boys who gathered to see Shinonome in the corridor, and with Aizawa’s arrival the crowd have gotten even more packed.

Aizawa Manaha is a beautiful girl who —with Shinonome Ibuki— splits the fame in school into two.

That being said, if Shinonome is a gentle, proper lady; then Aizawa is a tomboyish gal who doesn’t sweat the trivial stuffs. Perhaps because of her unyielding looks, it wouldn’t feel out of the place if someone were to say she knows karate. And according to the rumor, she is a nympho and is dating with some men. Plus, she has no taste for the bland one, she’d sleep with anyone for money.

“Ahaha, jeez, Makino-kun. That’s a s.e.xual hara.s.sment. Kishikawa-kun, Sawashiro-kun, please say something, too.”

She’s laughing kyakyaly as she talks with the boys. It sure gives the vibe of a nympho.

And then, the cla.s.s’ gal tilts her head as she asks Aizawa.

“Huh? Manaha, where’s the watch you had before? Wait, isn’t that a new accessory? Seems expensive, did you buy it yourself?”

“Eh, this watch?! A-Ah, you see… I bought this with the money I saved from a bit special part-time. It looks cute so I reeeaally like it. A-Ahahahaha~!”

No smoke without fire.

Half a month ago, I saw her and apparently the rumor is true. Blonde hair! Tig ol’ bitties! High-school gal! Furthermore, her face looked quite pale, which gave off the feel she just earned some money with that body of hers.

And then, a wild idea run through my head.

Inside an indecent hotel’s room.

A creaking bed lets out a squeaking sound regularly.

On top of it are a middle-aged man and riding on top of him —dripping with sweats and wears a seductive expression as she moves her hips— is Aizawa Manaha.

“Haa, Haaa! Th-That’s good! More… Ah! Ah! Yes, ‘dere! Fua! Ah! Aah… Ojii-san’s is amazing! I-It’s my first time, having it ‘dis rough… Haa, Haa~! A big one’s, c-coming~! Hia! Aaa, Haa~~~~~n ♡“

Biiiiiiiitch!!!

…It sure is easy to imagine it.

There’s the rumor as well, and above all, she’s one of the two Great b.i.t.c.h—the l.u.s.tful b.i.t.c.h.

Even though I wanted to spend my high-school life without having involved with ill-natured girls, to think there are two Great b.i.t.c.h in my cla.s.s instead… Well sure, I’ve met many kinds of b.i.t.c.h; but I’ve never met unchaste woman like her before. Beside, I couldn’t tell what harm I’d get myself if I involve myself with her. So I’ll try to avoid contact with her as much as possible.

And then, Shinonome who has put her facade greets Aizawa with a gentle voice.

“Good morning, Aizawa-san.”

“Ah, good morning, Shinonome-san! Um, do you need something with me?”

Aizawa who waves her hand cheerfully which causes her b.r.e.a.s.t.s to shake, blinks her round eyes in a surprise

“Well, it’s nothing important. However, um… I think it’d be better if you wore your uniform properly.”

Shinonome says so in a reserved manner, smiles wryly, and points at her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

She’s the cla.s.s rep and student council’s officer. Although she’s just playing the role as a gentle character and everyone’s Shinonome, she also has a strict personality to fasten what has to be fasten.

Being told so, Aizawa flushes and heads this way.

“A-Ahaha. You mean this? Actually I also feel really embarra.s.sed, but, uh… it’s bigger than everyone, so I couldn’t fasten the b.u.t.tons.”

Despite feeling like Aizawa’s sweet perfume’s scent could s.n.a.t.c.hed my heart away, I shake my head to drive the very thought of it.

“Surely, that would be tight. …Alright. Then, please get a new uniform. As expected we can’t leave it as is either. Ufufu.”

“Ah, ‘kay then. Yup, all right. I’ll get the paperwork in the office later! Since I also feel leaving it as is would be embarra.s.sing… Ehehe.”

Aizawa nods obediently as she smiles sociably, feeling embarra.s.sed.

Her chests is big despite having child-face, the region around her waist is curving in, her b.u.t.t is the type that would likely give birth to a healthy kid, and her legs are slim; just like a model.

“Please tell me if there is something you don’t know. I’ll help if you’re fine with me.”

“Really?! Whoa, Shinonome-san really is a super good person. Alright, thanks. I’ll be in your care when the time comes then!”

After saying so with a friendly smile, she waves her hand and goes back to the circle. Apparently a nerd with thin presence like me isn’t worth a look for her — a riajuu and cutie (lol).

Aizawa also has the impression of always smiling and being cheerful. Guess that’s why she’s popular.

Even so, I won’t be deceived. Still, a person like Shinonome surely wouldn’t have a bad impression of—

Guriguriguriguri~~~~~~~!!

“Owowowowowow?!”

My foot was stepped quite strongly.

“! …H-Hey, Shinonome, my foot isn’t a sandbag, you dig?!”

“Can’t be helped, can it. I hate that girl after all.”

She’s just too freedom in voicing her opinion!

Even if you say it in a low voice, what if someone heard it?

“By the way, why do you hate her?”

“Because she is said to be as cute as me.”

As expected of a b.i.t.c.h, she’s rotten to the core…

“I won’t feel satisfied unless I’m number one in everything. I’d always been number one in cutesy, study, and even violin compet.i.tion. However, it hadn’t been that way since spring this year because of her. Beside, what’s with that just now? ‘My chests is bigger than everyone, so I couldn’t fasten the b.u.t.tons‘ she says… Ufufu, was she hara.s.sing me?”

“Like I said, stop stepping! Stop! It!”

While suffering the pain, I glance at Shinonome’s chests.

On the part which were covered in a black summer sweater, there are two modest swelling that’s only swell in the confirming degree. However, her legs which were wrapped in black stocking is smoother and lovelier than Aizawa’s.

“Were you looking at my chests just now?”

“Haha! You’re imagining things. I’m not so pervy like what you thought.”

“Ufufu. That so? That’s good, then.”

Guriguriguri~~~

“Goosh, so you’d still stepping nonetheless…”

Then, a lively conversation can be heard from the circle Aizawa’s in.

“By the way, ManaMana. Despite Mi look like this, Mi’s never gone out with a man before. So how is it? Since you’d said you have lots of experience with men, you ought to know it, right~?”

“U-Um… What do you mean by it?”

The one who brought up the subject is a gal who belong to the cla.s.s neighbour, her name’s Kuroki Ami if my memory serves right. She has a brown fluffy hair and her appearance’s on par with idols’, but that att.i.tude of “Mi’s the cutest girl in the world~” of her is irritating.

“There~fore~, Mi ask how do you feel when you date someone you love? How’s it like? Since Mi don’t have any experience, Mi’d be happy if ManaMana who well-know about that explain it to Mi~”

“Th-The feeling when I date?!”

“Eh, what? Are you telling Mi you never date someone before~?”

“Of course I have! I’ve had many dates with many men!”

Well, if it’s the thoughtless Aizawa who could get along with anyone, guess it’s normal if she has date many men. I dare to say all that brand stuffs she frequently change into are something from those men.

“Hee~. Then tell it to Mi. How do you feel when you date someone you love?”

“Well, since he’s someone I love, I’m happy, I guess… I mean, I feel happy when we hold hand. And when we part, we confirm our mutual feelings with… k-kiss—Jeez, what’re you making me say in front of everyone?!”

Aizawa who flushed beet red beat the girl-who-threw-the-question’s back violently.

“Owow! Rather, ManaMana, it’s suspicious whether you really have date someone before, though~?”

“Of course I have! You’re doubting your friend too much!”

“Humph. But, it kind of irritates me and really sounds like a lie~”

“It’s not a lie… It’s the truth.”

Sitting on the chair, Aizawa casts down her eyes awkwardly.

Well, of course Aizawa couldn’t answer that she was going out with men for money, and she has never went out with someone she loves.

“Although I’ve heard the rumor, apparently she really has abundant experience of relationship, huh. Jeez, what a b.i.t.c.h we have here.”

You’re one to talk?!

“…Well, let’s just pretend it like that.”

Although she seemed like muttering something with a low voice, I didn’t chase it since there was something I wanted to ask her.

“Hey, Shinonome, are you fine with that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your cla.s.smate might be prost.i.tuting herself, no? I thought if it’s you, you’d not let it pa.s.s.”

She’s the only daughter of conglomerate Shinonome who manages the school. Since she’ll eventually inherit the director position, I thought she’d severely punished students who couldn’t protect the school’s laws and regulations.

Shinonome smiles composedly, and,

“In dubio pro reo. It’s the principle of presumption of innocence. Also often said as “when in doubt, for the accused.” If the prosecutor unable to present a definite evidence, the judge shall render a not guilty verdict to the accused. Its stated in The Code of Criminal Procedure Article 336.”[2]

As expected of the smartest student in school, she knows everything.

“Yup, I got it, you have one h.e.l.l of a memory there. So, what’s your point?”

“You don’t even get that? Since you’re a livestock chosen by me, what about working your non-existent-head a little more? Don’t you feel ashamed being alive?”

“Yeah, my bad for not getting it. I’m very sorry.”

I apologized properly to Shinonome who happily scolded me.

Since nothing good will come if you ruin beautiful girls’ mood, see.

“!”

Apparently, she wasn’t expecting me to apologize like that. And after speechless for a few seconds, she slackens her expression happily.

And as though having satisfied, she starts explaining.

“Crime won’t be a crime with the absence of evidence. If you were to accuse someone just because you doubt them, and later when it was known it’s a false accusation, you don’t want to take the responsibility, do you? That’s why we can’t accused someone without cross-examining it with them first. Especially, if a similar case like ours happened, the other party is a high school girl in p.u.b.erty. It might (un)likely turned out that she hasn’t done any crime like we think. So, it was for the best not violating the risk and do nothing. Don’t you think so?”

This girl, so she has thought about it that far.

As expected of a cunning neat-type b.i.t.c.h who acts with high-calculated-action.

While it’s all good that she treats me specially right now, if I ever ended up as Shinonome’s enemy, it’d be the worst. Guess I’ll have to try my darndest not to ruin her mood as to prevent “Ostracised Tragedy II.”

“…By the way, Shinonome. Could you stop it already?”

“What do you mean?”

“Could you stop stepping on my foot?”

“Ufufu. Don’t wanna, livestock.”

Said her with a gentle smile she’d show to everyone.

Good grief. Beautiful girl really is nothing but b.i.t.c.hes.

Anyway, there are two Great b.i.t.c.hes in my cla.s.s.

And this is the story about that.