Blood Bred - From The Heart Part 15

"There is," Baul said.

"But there is no reason for her to honor that code," Baris pointed out. "It must be her choice. If she is happy, then I will not intrude. The only thing I will ask is that she allow me to see my son on occasion."

Vail and Baul were silent for a moment, then the latter spoke.

"Darius also found Deirdre."

Baris' head snapped up, his grief forgotten in a growing anger that he had been so thoroughly used by someone he had trusted. "Where?"

"In Timmora." He paused. "She was apparently trying to locate Anika."

Baris started. "Why?"

Vail grimaced. "Who knows? But with Deirdre it can't be good."

Baris struggled to stand. "I have to get to Timmora. I need to talk with Deirdre."

"I don't think you're in condition to go anywhere just yet," Vail said, rising. He reached out to grip Baris' arm.

Baris swayed, his head reeling. His stomach rumbled uneasily, threatening to disgorge what few sips of tea he had taken that morning. He knew Vail was right, yet the mere chance that Deirdre might do something to harm Anika drove despair through him.

"Listen," Vail said softly. "If you want me to, I can go after Deirdre."

Baris hesitated. He had heard all Vail had said regarding Deirdre's power but he was having a hard time believing it. And there was still an aching in his heart to hold her, to be with her, to make love to her again. He wondered how much of that was her spell and how much was simply his own treacherous desires. Yet, he also ached to be with Anika, to look again into her eyes, to hear again her soft words of love. He sagged to the ground, overcome with confusion.

"I don't know what to do," he whispered. "If Deirdre is as powerful as you claim, Vail, then I won't have you endangering yourself for me. At the same time, I don't want her to hurt Anika anymore than she already has." He looked at Baul. "This Vector Anika is with, he should be able to protect her against Deirdre. She's probably safer with him than with me. Is there any way you can find out who he is? Where he is?"

"I suppose Darius would know," Baul said. "I could ask him. If you want, I could even pay the Vector a visit, check on Anika for you, let her know what has happened."

Again Baris hesitated. Finally, he let out a soft cry of despair. "But you don't know all that has happened. I've forsaken my marriage vows. I betrayed Anika. I was unfaithful. I can never expect her to take me back now."

Vail hunkered down before him. His words were gently, completely non-judgmental. "Baris, listen. Whatever happened between you and Deirdre was of her doing. Anika knows her, what she is capable of. She will understand. I can promise you that."

Baris looked him in the eye. "But I can't convince myself that it was all due to Deirdre's spells, Vail. If you only knew the way I wanted Deirdre, the way I l.u.s.ted over her, the..." He shuddered suddenly and pulled his blanket close, his gaze flying to Honey. "I'm tired. I need to rest."

Vail touched his arm. "I think what you need is to feed," he said softly.

Baris shook his head. "Not yet. Not on you. I can wait."

"Wait for what? For who?"

Baris shrugged and lay back down, closing his eyes. "I don't know, Vail. I don't know."

CHAPTER 19.

It took two more days for Baris to be able to stand for any length of time without help. Even then, walking was still only a wish. He managed two or three steps at a time, only to become rubber-kneed and sag back to his blanket. Vail a.s.sured him that he would get better but he was beginning to doubt it. His mind had returned to thoughts of hack, of the tranquility it provided, the energy. It didn't seem to matter to him that using it had placed him in this condition in the first place. His mind refused to see the horror of the drug and instead focused on the relief it could provide. He began to think of ways to slip away from Vail and Baul, get to Timmora and find someone to sell him the drug. Getting the drug filled his every waking thought and often intruded into his sleep. He needed it as surely as he needed the air he breathed. He could actually picture the large leather pouch lying in his room in Erster. He supposed by now Ella had claimed it, along with the few possessions he had managed to acquire. He berated himself continually for leaving such a valuable item in plain sight. He should have kept it on his person at all times. Yet, that night he had not been planning to follow a beautiful young woman so far from the tavern district.

He regretted following Honey, he regretted entering that inn, attacking the guards, running. But most of all, he regretted getting Vail and Baul involved in his sordid life. He found himself wishing with increasing frequency that he had simply died there in the hollowed-out tree. He supposed it was Baul who had sensed another Vector in the area, one in serious need of help. Baris was both grateful and irritated at his intervention.

His thoughts of Deirdre were as confused and rampant as his emotions. He loved her and despised her at the same time. He wanted to hold her and yet he wanted to punish her for what she had done to him and to Anika. And Anika! By the Sovereign! Baris didn't know what to think of her anymore. He was both happy that she had found a caring man and furious that she had. Again, he was left in total confusion by his inability to fully understand human emotions. If Anika loved him as she had proclaimed over the last few years, then why was it so easy for her to fall into another man's arms? The thought sent shudders of self-recrimination through him. Had he not done the same thing? Could he really blame all of his l.u.s.tful actions on Deirdre's spells? On her teas? He didn't think so.

He still had not fed, despite Vail's urging him to do so. As a result, his s.e.xual emotions were bottled up inside and he was now terrified to let them loose. He was sure he would take more from Vail than merely blood if given the chance. Honey had even offered to let him take her blood but Baris just couldn't add that to his already overburdened guilt level. With her beauty and gentle ways, he was positive he would take her s.e.xually. And again, the mere thought disgusted him. He began to think of himself as nothing more than a vile degenerate who belonged in the gutters, as the Erster innkeeper had proclaimed.

Baul had gone back to the Lair but had not returned with any useful information. Apparently the Vector holding Anika was not willing to have his ident.i.ty discovered, even by the Sovereign himself. Baris wondered how Darius was taking such an insubordinate action. Probably not well. On the other hand, Darius's rule was one of self-monitoring. As long as a Vector did nothing to endanger the race, they were free to pursue their own lives as they saw fit. If that meant breaking a Vector "rule" by claiming another Vector's lifemate, then so be it. As long as the lifemate was agreeable, Darius was unlikely to interfere. Especially if that lifemate were a mere human.

Baris rubbed his face and glanced toward his companions. They were all asleep and he knew he should be as well. The problem was he had slept so much in the past few days that he couldn't do so now. He sat up, holding back a moan of pain as his stiff joints protested the movement. For long moments he stared into the darkness beyond the small campfire, then pushed himself to stand. The fire was burning low. At least he could fetch more wood for it. He started away, his steps slow and awkward.

It was then he saw the apparition.

"Deirdre?" he whispered, then shook his head and closed his eyes. But when he opened them again she was still there, her form floating above the ground, a soft specter in the night.

Baris glanced at Vail, Honey and Baul, but they slept on. He turned back to Deirdre to see her motioning to him. He staggered toward her. She floated closer, reaching out for him. He felt the heat of her body as she wrapped her arms about him. He tried to hold her, but both could and couldn't. He was aware of her substance, yet his hands pa.s.sed through her. She pressed her lips against his. She tasted of mint and spices, and Baris melted into her embrace, returning her kiss with a burning pa.s.sion.

"Baris!"

Vail's voice invaded the dream. Baris whirled, then spun back toward Deirdre. She was gone. He sagged and Vail caught him, preventing him from falling.

"What are doing?" Vail asked. "You shouldn't be up."

"It was Deirdre," Baris whispered. "She was right there."

Vail glanced toward Baul, who sat up near the fire.

"She was! I swear it. She was right there."

Vail sighed and led Baris back to his blanket.

"I don't doubt you. It's possible it was her image," Vail said. "I told you she has fairly powerful magic. She could have been scrying for you and allowed you to see her. And Timmora is only about three leagues from here. Her magic could certainly extend that far."

"But why? Why would she come here? Like that?"

Vail shrugged. "I don't know but I'm not comfortable with her knowing that Baul and I are with you."

Baris looked over at him. "Why not? She wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

Vail shrugged again but said nothing. Baris frowned and drew his blanket tighter about his shoulders. His gaze wandered back to the spot where he'd seen the apparition. His fingers touched his lips. He could still taste her kiss, still feel the pa.s.sion that coursed through him. What was happening to him? Was he that possessed by Deirdre? Or was it merely more of the effects of hack? And what had Vail meant by being uncomfortable that Deirdre knew they were together? Would Deirdre really do something to the two young men? To Honey?

He shifted his gaze back to Vail and Baul. They had both once more fallen asleep, Honey wrapped securely in Vail's arms. Baris waited for a few more minutes then rose quietly.

He couldn't take any chances. While he seriously doubted that Deirdre could, or would, do anything to harm either Vail or Baul, it was not something else that Baris needed to weigh down his conscience. Silently, he slipped into the woods and melted into the darkness. It struck him as a bit odd that neither Vail or Baul stirred, when previously his slightest movements had roused them but he pushed that concern to the back of his mind and crept on. He knew exactly where to go, where to find Deirdre. He never even stopped to examine why he wanted to.

He walked until the sky began to lighten with the coming of morning. It occurred to him that he seemed to have plenty of strength and stamina all of sudden, when just prior to Deirdre's apparitional visit he could barely walk. More than once his fingers brushed against his lips, remembering the strange minty flavor of her kiss. Was it possible that she helped him? That she had somehow transferred healing to him through her touch? Once again, doubts rose up to plague him. How could Deirdre be as coldhearted and cruel as Vail painted her? All she wanted to do was help him, help Anika. Vail had to be wrong about her. He had to be.

By late morning, Baris was again exhausted. He leaned against a tree, his breath coming fast and shallow. He had not thought to bring any supplies, not even a waterskin. His throat was parched and raw. He needed food, water...and blood. He pushed away from the tree, intent on finding something to ease his discomfort.

Instead, it found him.

A young man, whistling softly, rode through the wood, careless of both mind and step. His horse nearly collided with Baris, who drew back with a gasp. Baris didn't even waste time or energy to Illusion himself. Surprisingly, the young man wasn't the least nonplussed by the fact that he had nearly run over a Vector. He reined in his animal and smiled at Baris.

"Are you Baris, by any chance?" he asked, his voice soft and slurred.

Baris stared up at him in astonishment. "H...how do you know me?"

The stranger slid from the saddle and c.o.c.ked his head, now looking up at Baris, who towered over him. "Deirdre sent me. To find you."

"Deirdre? She sent you to me? For what? Why?"

The man chuckled and tapped two fingers against his neck. "I would suppose for this."

Baris was speechless. The man shrugged.

"'Course if you don't want it, that suits me fine, too. But I'm not giving back the money. It was your choice. You tell her that, will you?" He made as if to remount.

Baris held him back, his heart hammering. Yes, he wanted what the man had to offer. His mouth already watered at the mere thought. And the rest of his body was equally ready, much to his annoyance. He noticed his hands were shaking and he released his grip on the young man, only to just as swiftly take hold of him again.

The young man gave him an annoyed look and attempted to pull away. "You made your choice. Let me go."

"No," Baris mumbled. "I...I..." He dispensed with further words, took a quick breath and pulled the young man against him.

His bite was quick and efficient and he drank deeply. It took only moments for the strength to flow back into his body, seconds for the familiar euphoria to wash over him. He drew back, startled, staring in disbelief, then tore open the man's jacket. A leather pouch tumbled out, falling onto the ground, spilling hack into the dirt and leaves. Baris' gaze followed it.

Sudden anger tore through him and he looked back at the man's pale face. "No!" he roared.

The young man looked down at the spilled hack, his face twisted with annoyance.

"Eh, now, look what you've gone and done. Wasted it, you did." He looked back up at Baris. "You owe me for that."

Baris glared at him. "I owe you nothing. I owe no one anything!" He released the man with a hard shove.

"I say you do!" the man growled and abruptly whipped a dagger from his belt sheath. He brandished it menacingly, though his eyes were glazed, his gait unsteady.

Baris, held between rage and the euphoria of the drug, merely regarded the other for a moment. Then, with one swift movement, he disarmed him with such force it sent the young man flying through the air like a rag doll. He slammed against a thick tree and slid to the ground. Baris regarded him distantly, then looked back at the spilled hack leaves. He bent, retrieved as much as he could find, replaced it in the pouch and tucked it into his tunic. Then he straightened, mounted the horse and turned it toward Timmora.

He reached Timmora late that afternoon. Exhausted, he paused at the edge of town, his gaze moving over the citizens as they went about their evening business. He glanced down at his filthy clothing. He needed to see Deirdre but first he needed to clean up. He entered the first inn he saw and approached the counter. The innkeeper looked up at him, startled, his face going white.

Baris caught the man's wrist in a tight grip and fixed his gaze on the man's eyes.

"A room," he commanded quietly. "With a bath. And send up fresh clothing in my size."

"Your size?" the man blubbered. "But I...I.."

"Take a guess, but be careful you're very close," Baris snarled, then tapped the counter with his other hand. "A key. And your silence."

The innkeeper nodded and fumbled beneath the counter. He procured a heavy iron key, which he slid toward Baris. Baris smiled, picked up the key, released his grip on the man and strode toward his room. Once there, he lit the fire under the tub, then sat down to wait for the water to heat. Without a conscious thought, he drew out the leather pouch. A pinch of hack cleared his thoughts. His plan seemed simple enough. Find Deirdre and verify all that Vail had told him. Now that he was no longer under her spell, he should be able to see things as they really were, not as she wished them to be.

His anger grew as his memories washed backward. All that Deirdre had put him through, all of the immoral and horrible things he had done, came back to haunt him. Yet, there was still a part of him that could not believe it all, could not believe that Deirdre was the manipulative woman that Vail painted her to be.

Well, in a few short hours he would know. He rose and stripped off his filthy clothes. The water was barely warm but he ignored that and scrubbed clean, wishing he could wash away his guilt as easily as the dirt. He found a new set of clothes hanging on the outside of his door and quickly brought them inside to dress. Once again looking presentable, he Illusioned himself as a middle-aged man and strode from his room.

His first stop was the city cemetery. It wasn't hard to find the fresh graves, and he stood over Antyn's for a long moment. A simple wooden marker bore only the young man's first name and date of death. Apparently not much else was known about him. Baris turned his steps toward the stonemason's shop on the edge of the cemetery. The aging mason looked up at him with a welcoming smile.

"That grave over there," Baris said quietly. "The one marked 'Antyn'. I would like a stone carved for it, please."

"Yes, sir." The mason took up a parchment and quill. "What would you like it to say?"

Baris paused, thinking. What could he say? What right did he even have to put last words on the youth's final resting place? He drew a deep breath.

"May G.o.d accept his tortured soul," he finally said. "May he rest in the peace he sought."

The mason jotted down the words then looked up at Baris as if to ask for payment. Baris grimaced and once again used his magic to coerce the man into doing the task for free. The mason nodded and Baris left the shop. He turned toward the finer section of town, vowing that he would return to this place and properly pay everyone he owed.

He allowed his Vector instincts to guide him toward the inn in which Deirdre had sought refuge. The innkeeper remembered her well. It took but a touch of Baris' magic to gain an extra key to her room. He hefted the iron key thoughtfully as he climbed the stairs. He wasn't sure what he would say to her, how he would approach her. He knew only that he had to verify her power, had to see for himself just what she was capable of. He paused outside her room, then fit the key in the lock and turned it.

Deirdre whirled to face him, her eyes wide. "Baris!"

He stood still in the doorway, his senses tingling. The room reeked of iron. The scent almost overwhelmed him. It filled his senses, brought hunger to his mouth. His gaze swept over her.

She was beautiful. She wore a pale yellow silk dressing gown, one Baris had never seen. It accentuated her curves perfectly, barely able to contain the creamy mounds of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her dark hair was piled loosely atop her head and jeweled clips caught the firelight. His body once more responded to her closeness. He closed the door behind him.

"h.e.l.lo, Deirdre."

A smile of relief crossed her face as she approached him. "I'm glad you came," she whispered. "I missed you."

"I...I missed you, as well." He looked down at her pale face, her heavy-lidded eyes. Her need to be bled was acutely apparent. He suddenly felt weak-kneed and sagged onto the large bed.

"Oh, Baris." She stood close in front of him and gently smoothed his tousled hair. Tears shone in her eyes. "I'm sorry I left you. I...I was just so hurt and angry. And then--I looked for you but I couldn't find you. Finally, I had to stop. I was just so tired, Baris. So very tired."

He drew a deep breath, savoring the scent of the iron, letting his arms wrap around her and pull her closer. His planned words fled him, thwarted by the softness of her voice, the gentleness of her touch.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Deirdre. I never meant to."

"I know that now. I was being foolish."

"You...you haven't been bled," he whispered, embarra.s.sed and yet thrilled by the hunger.

"No. I couldn't. Every time I tried, my thoughts went to you. I wanted only you to touch me." Tears trickled down her pale cheeks. "I need you, Baris. I need your help now." She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "I thought you might need mine but I can see you have been taken care of, just as I'd hoped."

"Oh?"

"I was worried about you, Baris. I sent several men into the woods to find you. I didn't know if you had been able to feed. I didn't know if you even could get to a place where you could find what you needed."