Between The Sheets Part 15

The nerves show in my hand as I fumble with the cardboard box to get it open and pull a slice free. Cheesy pizza had my mouth watering just an hour ago, and now I could throw up looking at it. I really do feel queasy though so I know I need the calories to get me through this unexpected visit.

After my first bite, I take a breath trying to calm myself. "How did you find me?"

"Really, Melissa? That's what you want to know. Who gives a s.h.i.t how I found you? I shouldn't have had to look for you for weeks, worrying my a.s.s off that you might be hurt. I shouldn't have been killing myself trying to figure out what I did wrong to make you leave me?"

"I'm sorry." I lower my eyes because I can't stand to see the hurt in his.

"Sorry. You're carrying my baby and you're far enough along that it's clearly visible yet you haven't told me and all you can say is you're sorry. That's s.h.i.t, Mel. What the h.e.l.l is going on?"

"I told you in the letter I had more to say." I take another bite of my pizza to slow down the conversation. I've played this discussion over in my mind a million times. But it never went over like this. Not with him finding out before I had the chance to sit him down and explain.

"You knew when you went to see me and said nothing." His bottom lip is quivering and it breaks my heart.

"That's why I went back up. To tell you. But I just couldn't bring myself to say the words."

"Why?"

"Because." I pause and gather what little strength I have to look him in the eye. "You were adamant about not having kids. Ever since Shel brought up having babies and when she found out she was pregnant, you made it clear you didn't want kids. Not now, at least. You said you wanted to make plans and make sure we were in the same zip code. But never did you say you'd want one now. Too late for that." I let out a big sigh, tired already and I'm sure this is nowhere near over.

"Mel, that's ridiculous. Whoever says they want to get pregnant on accident? People say they want to plan when to have children. But if they get pregnant they deal. You didn't even give me a chance. Did you really think I wouldn't want our baby?"

"No."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Because your life is in San Francisco. How can we have a baby together when we live so far away from each other?"

"I'd move," he shouts.

I groan. "That's what I didn't want, Ty. I don't want you to feel like you have to move down here to be with me and our baby. I wanted you move because you wanted wanted to be with me. Not because you had to." to be with me. Not because you had to."

"Oh my G.o.d, Melissa. You're p.i.s.sing me off so bad right now. I can't believe you made that decision for us. You didn't even stop to consider my feelings before you left me with that ridiculous note to come home to. You broke my heart, Mel. And you still are. If this is what you think of me, then you don't know me at all."

He pushes off the counter and stalks off toward the door. Before he opens it, he turns around. "Contrary to what you believe, I want very much to be a father to my child. You've hurt me so bad, it's being with you I'm not so sure of anymore. But I'm glad you're safe. I'll call you when I've calmed down."

The door whips open and closed before I can open my mouth to respond.

He's gone.

And all I can do is cry.

When my mom and dad arrive back at the cabin after one of their long walks, my dad peeks into my room.

"What happened?" He lowers himself onto my bed and sits beside me.

"Ty happened. He found out about the baby and showed up here."

My dad shakes his head with a sigh. "I knew this was going to happen, Melissa. You can't ever make things easy. How is he?"

"What do you mean, how is he? What about me?"

He stands letting out another sigh. "You, young lady, have created this mess. You should have been honest with him from the beginning. I should have called him myself, but I wanted you to come to your senses. Looks like it took you too long."

He leaves my room with a huff. I know I screwed up royally. What I don't need is my dad reminding me of my mistakes. I need his support. Not his judgment. If I don't have my parents on my side, then what do I have left? Who do I have left? I'm sure Sh.e.l.ly is ready to kick my a.s.s right about now. I can't imagine she wants to be the shoulder I can cry on.

I curl myself around my body pillow, trying to disappear. I'm an absolute mess. My baby is going to be born to a mother who can't get her s.h.i.t together and to a daddy who hates her mama. What have I done?

My mom takes her turn, coming in quietly and closing the door behind her.

"I've already taken a beating." I cover my head with my pillow. "If you think it's your turn, you can leave before you get started."

"Don't you get fresh with me, mija. I'm not here to give you another lickin', I'm here to see what I can do."

I remove the pillow from my head and she reaches out to touch my cheek. "I'm sorry, Mom," I start to mumble, but the tears stop me from saying anything else.

"I know. He'll come back, you know. Right now, he's just hurt. Give him time."

"I know," I sob. "He said he wanted to be a father to our baby, but he wasn't sure he wanted me anymore." The words barely make it from my mouth. My throat is so tight with sobs I can hardly breathe. "It was like a stab to the heart. Nothing will ever hurt as much as seeing the disappointment I saw in Tyler's eyes tonight. I want to believe he can forgive me. Like him, I'm just not so sure."

She covers my hand with hers and pats gently. "Well, what do you think that letter you wrote did to him?" she asks.

"Karma sucks a.s.s. I thought I was doing what's best for him. I still don't know how I can ask him to leave his students. They need him a lot more than mine need me. He gives them so much more than I can."

"Well, maybe that's something to consider."

"Are you saying I should move up there?" Just the thought makes my heart break into even more pieces. I can't leave her or my dad. Or Shel. That's if she'll ever talk to me again, I've screwed this up so horribly.

"I'm not saying anything. I wouldn't want to see you go, but I'd understand if you did. Love is a crazy thing. It makes you do crazy things, but when you find the one you love, you can't just let that go. You and Tyler were made for each other. I'm not blind. I could see it blossoming when you were kids. I didn't encourage it because he was older than you, but I knew it would happen someday. Unfortunately, Nick got in the way but now, nothing should keep you apart. And definitely not now that you're having a baby. But where you live should be something you decide together."

"What should I do, Mama? I can't let him go. I have to get him back. I love him so much not having him here is tearing me apart."

She pats my shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. "Only you can answer that."

And then she leaves me to my own thoughts. The ones that won't f.u.c.king shut up for the life of me.

I grab for the remote on the other side of the bed and click on the TV.

Channel after channel, there are nothing but romances on. Ugh. I don't need this.

It must be the bottom of the hour because I keep flipping from one happy ending to the next.

First, Tom Hanks reveals that he is really Meg Ryan's secret internet lover.

Then, Adrian Grenier slides down the time capsule into the arms of Melissa Joan Hart.

Justin Long shows up on Ginnifer Goodwin's doorstep with a pen in hand.

And the final nail in the coffin, Michael Vartan meets Drew Barrymore on the pitcher's mound.

d.a.m.n, I am am a movie wh.o.r.e. a movie wh.o.r.e.

And I'm a movie wh.o.r.e that knows a lot about happy endings and making the romantic grand gesture.

I was wrong.

Ty and I do have a future together. And it doesn't matter where we live, as long as we're together.

I can't just sit here and cry my heart out. I need to pick myself up and get my a.s.s out there to find my man.

My happy ending awaits.

This s.h.i.t is far from over.

Chapter 17

Shel picks up on the first ring.

"Where's your brother?" I ask as I pull on the only pair of jeans I can squeeze my legs into. I can't b.u.t.ton them and the zipper only goes up part of the way, but my long top covers the waistband.

"He's at home, Mel. What the h.e.l.l were you thinking?" she yells at me. And I deserve it.

"Shel, I'm sorry I worried you. I'm sorry I lied to you. It's been torturous keeping something so important from you. But I just needed time to figure things out."

There's a lot of sighing going around. She lets out a very dramatic humph. "Well, did you figure it out?" The way she asks the question makes me smile. She's no longer shouting. And she sounds more amused than anything. Whew. I just might be able to keep her.

"Yeah. Just took me longer than I thought. I'm sorry, Shel. I really am. I hope you can forgive me because I really need my best friend right now."

"I'm here. I always will be."

"I gotta go." It's been long enough. I need to fix everything and it can't wait another minute.

"I love you, Melly."

"I love you too." And because I can't help it, I squeal, "We're pregnant at the same time. Our babies are only going to be a month apart."

"They'll grow up together," she says, and I can hear the frog in her throat. I know the sound well. A toad has taken up permanent residence in mine for the duration.

By the time I get to the airport it's well past midnight and I have to wait for four hours for the next flight to San Francisco. I tried getting an earlier one to Oakland and Sacramento but I didn't have any luck there. The d.a.m.n plane is delayed another hour before it taxis to the runaway and we finally depart.

The ride is smooth and short, thankfully. I didn't check a bag. I only brought a backpack with a change of clothes. If all goes as planned, Ty and I will get back together and I can fly back home a happy woman and gather the rest of my things, and my dogs. If I have to move, then so be it. I have to take that chance and be happy with the man I love. I've already tried living without him and that didn't go over well. I just have to grow a pair and leave my mama's nest. It will be hard to say goodbye to my parents and Shel but the alternative is even worse.

I take a cab from the airport to Ty's apartment. I pay the guy and run up the stairs. As soon as I reach his door, I begin pounding. But there is no answer. I knock again. Nothing. He's seriously going to pretend he's not home. I look at my watch. The center isn't open this early. He has to be here.

Another apartment opens and a woman steps outside. "I don't think anyone's home," she says as she locks her place.

"Oh, okay. Thanks."

"If you want to sit and wait, there's a staircase leading up to the third floor at the end of the hall. It'd probably be easier to get up from the steps than from sitting on the floor." She looks at my belly with a smile.

"Definitely. Thanks again," I say as she walks away.

Another hour goes by and Ty still isn't home. I flip through pages of the latest celebrity gossip mag I got at the airport to kill time. I'm not known for my patience, but for the first time I finally feel at ease. I know what I'm going to do. I know what I'm about to offer Ty and I truly think things will be okay. Don't get me wrong, I'm nervous. But the anxiousness comes more from wanting to see him, hold him, and kiss him again, than from waiting.

I'm just about to start an article about who cheated on who when I hear some chatter.

I peek my head out into the hall and I recognize one of the faces. It's that hippy chick from the center. The therapist with the long flowing gauze skirt. Taylor. My mouth opens to call out to her when she stops in front of Ty's apartment and takes out a key.

"So what are you going to do first?" her friend asks.

"I don't know yet. Ty's pretty laid back. He said I can redecorate however I want." And then they walk into his apartment and the door shuts behind them.

He's moved on in less than twenty four hours. Or maybe he was doing her on the side all this time.

I guess he's sure now.

He doesn't want me anymore.

My eyes open way too early in the morning. After arriving back home late last night, you'd think I'd be able to sleep in. But no. My stomach is like my body's own alarm clock and lets me know with loud rolling growls that my baby needs food.

I crawl out of bed and head into my kitchen with about as much energy as my first period students.

I open my fridge and realize I have s.h.i.t to eat. I haven't been home in weeks and there's no man here to make me a mouthwatering breakfast.

No. He's making breakfast for Taylor right now. He's forgotten all about me and my baby. I can't believe he's shacking up with someone else already. If the wait at the airport to get to San Francisco was bad, the wait for the flight home was even worse. I plugged a set of headphones into my ears and listened to Midnight Hour on repeat, drowning my sorrows in the lyrics about love gone right and love gone bad. Tears slid down my cheeks until the well was dry and all I was left with was a headache and swollen red eyes.

That was last night and I doubt today will get any better. I'll just stay away from mirrors so I don't have to see myself shattered. Feeling it is horrible enough.