Between a Heart and a Rock Place_ A Memoir Part 13

We'll keep touring for as long as fans will have us. In 2009, Spyder ran into REO Speedwagon's Kevin Cronin, and the two of them started talking about how much fun we'd had working together during 1995's Can't Stop Rockin' Can't Stop Rockin' tour. REO had come on the rock scene the same time as we did, with their 1980 number 1 hit, "Keep On Loving You," as well as so many others including "Can't Fight the Feeling." Out of Spyder's random encounter, 2010's tour. REO had come on the rock scene the same time as we did, with their 1980 number 1 hit, "Keep On Loving You," as well as so many others including "Can't Fight the Feeling." Out of Spyder's random encounter, 2010's Love On the Run Love On the Run tour was born. I've been looking forward to it because I really did enjoy tour was born. I've been looking forward to it because I really did enjoy Can't Stop Rockin' Can't Stop Rockin' and the fans-old and new-that came out to hear us. And I'm sure next summer we'll be right back out there, on the road ready to do it all over again. and the fans-old and new-that came out to hear us. And I'm sure next summer we'll be right back out there, on the road ready to do it all over again.

Sometimes, when I have a moment to catch my breath, I'll flip on the TV and scroll past MTV. There's little today about the channel that resembles the one that we helped launch, and I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a part of me that gets nostalgic for that aspect of the way things were. It's cliche but true that MTV has little or nothing to do with music anymore. Videos were such a positive extension of the music, and things haven't been the same since they pulled them off the air for reality programming. It's too bad, but it's not something that I dwell on. Just another way in which this continues to be one of the most frustrating and fascinating businesses to watch. Nothing lasts for long.

I continue to be amazed by how technology has the capacity to change the way that people find and listen to music. The transformation that started with MTV morphed into digital music, and has now become having a song on the Guitar Hero video game. But while the machinery for distributing music and attracting fans has changed, the actual art of making music still remains very much the same. For all the technological marvels that exist, the basic ingredients that go into creating a song have stayed constant. Ultimately there is something so human and so special about making music, and this will forever make it a far greater force than any technological advance-no matter how impressive.

The digital music revolution has accomplished a lot of what we hoped it would when we first started thinking about it in the nineties. While it hasn't done away with the record labels altogether yet, it has gnawed away at their ironclad grasp on power. But for all that digital music has eroded the centralized control of the record label, it's also had an impact far greater than anything we could have antic.i.p.ated, upending not just record companies but the entire power structure of the music business. It's not just the label execs who are fighting for dear life-nothing in the music business functions as it did twenty years ago. Online radio, music journalism-everything has changed, returning much of the power to the artist, where it belongs. Ever since our decision to leave EMI, we've never looked back, never regretted our choice. Even when we were in the throes of doing all the work, we had the satisfaction of knowing that we were doing it all for us.

Thinking about how music has changed in the last ten years, I am reminded of how important it is to be unafraid. That's not an easy thing to do, because there are times you just want to give up. I know I came d.a.m.n close to it after the disaster of the Wide Awake in Dreamland Wide Awake in Dreamland fiasco. Getting off the ground after that was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It would have been so much easier just to throw in the towel. And I'm sure in some alternate reality that's just what might have happened-my career would have ended late in that summer of 1988. fiasco. Getting off the ground after that was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It would have been so much easier just to throw in the towel. And I'm sure in some alternate reality that's just what might have happened-my career would have ended late in that summer of 1988.

But like so much in my life, it was Spyder who set me straight and pushed me over the next hill. I had many terrific years left in me, and just as I never would have found my sound in the first place if it hadn't been for Spyder, I never would have kept it going without him either. Perhaps one day I'll decide to hang up my mic for good, and when that happens, at least I'll know that the time is right, because my chance to end it early came and went a long time ago. Until then, Spyder keeps me going, keeps me grounded. Every day I look at him and I'm reminded of how I got to where I am and why I'm even still doing this in the first place. And every day I get up and love the life that we've built together.

There are lots of famously over-the-top ways for rock careers to end, but seeing as how I've never been one to follow in anyone's footsteps, I'm not about to start now. As the producer for VH1's show Behind the Music Behind the Music once told me-mine is one of the only stories that doesn't involve at least one trip to rehab. I'm proud to say that like a lot of rock and roll truisms, that whole debate about burning out or fading away is bulls.h.i.t-the same c.r.a.p music execs kick up to sell records and make you think that rock music only belongs to people under thirty. A true rocker is going to do whatever the h.e.l.l she wants to, whether she's a school teacher, a CEO of a large corporation, or someone's mommy. Because that's what rock and roll is really about: following your pa.s.sion with no apologies. Following that sound in your head that only you can hear. once told me-mine is one of the only stories that doesn't involve at least one trip to rehab. I'm proud to say that like a lot of rock and roll truisms, that whole debate about burning out or fading away is bulls.h.i.t-the same c.r.a.p music execs kick up to sell records and make you think that rock music only belongs to people under thirty. A true rocker is going to do whatever the h.e.l.l she wants to, whether she's a school teacher, a CEO of a large corporation, or someone's mommy. Because that's what rock and roll is really about: following your pa.s.sion with no apologies. Following that sound in your head that only you can hear.

And that's what I tell young musicians-female or male-who are trying to make it today: create your own music. Don't listen too much to what's out there. Don't try to follow a trend or fit in with what's selling. It may not be fashionable next week. Don't try to sing like anybody else but yourself. Hone your songwriting skills. Practice those guitars. Practice your instruments. Make sure that you're the best you can possibly be at what you do. And own everything everything! I'm proud that we made our music and never tried to remake the previous record. Don't be afraid of criticism. Don't be afraid of taking a chance, of switching your musical direction. One of the greatest things about getting older is that you care far less when someone uses you as a target. Stay open to the world around you. You never know where inspiration will come from, or what form it will take. It may be a journal or a blog entry-or it may turn into a song.

And girls-stand up for yourselves. Demand respect and then return it. The world has changed, but not all that much. Evolution is a slow process, but that's what intellect is for. You can bypa.s.s what's been hardwired in by being smart. You'll still screw up here and there, but at least you'll know what to do afterward. No one made more mistakes than me, but sometimes I think that was the point. I believe that every step, good or bad, has been a step forward. People much smarter than I am have long agreed life's not meant to be perfect.

I've nothing left to prove, which is probably the most liberating feeling in the world. I'm not holding on for dear life, trying to recapture some fleeting moment that's long since evaporated. Over the past thirty-one years I have been a singer, a lover, a businesswoman, a daughter, a friend, a wife, a mother, and yes, sometimes even a rock star. In my journey I tried my best to honor all of these things. In the end, I suppose that's all that's really required.

At night when I close my eyes, I don't see myself back onstage at Catch, thinking back to where it all began or some romanticized version of that past. I don't revise history that way, and I don't forget that the great times were never as great as they seem in the rearview mirror. Instead I see the road that's led me here to this moment, and how now after thirty-one years, I am exactly where I want to be. The only clock that I punch is the one that I built myself.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

Thank you-to all my friends who cheered me on and to my family for putting up with my absence, and take-out.

To my a.s.sistant, Lindsay, who found the answers to all the questions and still laughed every day. To Brad, Gary G., Gary H., Clair, and Johnny M. for taking care of business. To the countless fans around the world, new and old, you're the reason we're still here. To Newman, in the end a leap of faith is still a beautiful thing. To my bandmates for every note, we've had some fun, haven't we? To my crew for making it all roll. To Georgia, in your loving care I learned to fly. To my parents, for bringing me into this world and teaching me all about unconditional love. To G.o.d-for trusting me to be the steward of this amazing gift. To Andy-boy, crazy, huh? Miss you, every day. To Matt, editor extraordinaire, for wrangling all my thoughts and turning them into a wonderful book. You Rock. To Patsi, for being such a gentle teacher, your humor and talent inspired me every step of the way. To everyone at William Morrow, I'm thrilled to be working with such an amazing team...Shelby, you're a doll!

To my darling daughters, Haley and Hana, your beauty is surpa.s.sed only by your loving hearts. Being your mother has been the greatest pleasure of my life. And finally, to my husband, the best man I know...A lifetime will not be enough. Ti amo. Ti amo.

About the Author.

PAT BENATAR is one of the most accomplished female rock musicians of all time. She has won four Grammy Awards and sold more than twenty-two million records during a career that has produced nineteen Top 40 singles. Currently touring and performing around the country, she lives in California with her husband and two daughters. is one of the most accomplished female rock musicians of all time. She has won four Grammy Awards and sold more than twenty-two million records during a career that has produced nineteen Top 40 singles. Currently touring and performing around the country, she lives in California with her husband and two daughters.

www.benatar.com www.mys.p.a.ce.com/officialpatbenatar www.benatarfanclub.com Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.