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"Of course I have."
"The girls were very good to me when I came here--for I am a comparative stranger in the school--and they elected me to be a Speciality."
"Indeed!" said Mr. Fairfax. "That is a very great honor."
"I know it is; and I was given the rules, and I read them all carefully.
But, sir, in a sudden moment of temptation, before I came to Haddo Court, I did something which was wrong, and I am determined not to mend my ways with regard to that matter. Nevertheless, I became a Speciality, knowing that by so doing I should break the first rule of the club."
Mr. Fairfax was too courteous ever to interrupt any one who came to him to talk over a difficulty. He was silent now, his hands clasped tightly together, his deep-set eyes fixed on Betty's vivid face.
"I was a Speciality for about a fortnight," she continued--"perhaps a little longer. But at the last meeting I made up my mind that I could not go on, so I told the girls what I had done. It is unnecessary to trouble you with those particulars, sir. After I had told them they asked me to leave the room, and I went. They had a special meeting of the club last night to consult over my case, and I was invited to be present. I was then told that, notwithstanding the fact that I had broken Rule No. I., I might continue to be a member of the club if I would give up something which I possess and to which I believe I have a full right, and if I would relate my story in detail to Mrs. Haddo. I absolutely refused to do either of these things. I was then _expelled_ from the club, sir--that is the only word to use; and the fact was notified on the blackboard in the great hall to-day."
"Well," said Mr. Fairfax when Betty paused, "I understand that you repent, and you do not repent, and that you are no longer a Speciality."
"That is the case, sir."
"Can you not take me further into your confidence?"
"There is no use," said Betty, shaking her head.
"I am not surprised, Miss Vivian, that you are unhappy."
"I am accustomed to that," said Betty.
"May I ask what you have come to see me about?"
"I wanted to know this: ought I, or ought I not, being unrepentant of my sin, to come to the chapel with the other girls, to kneel with them, to pray with them, and to listen to your words?"
"I must leave that to yourself. If your conscience says, 'Come,' it is not for me to turn you out. But it is a very dangerous thing to trifle with conscience. Of course you know that. I can see, too, that you are peculiarly sensitive. Forgive me, but I have often noticed your face, and with extreme interest. You have good abilities, and a great future before you in the upward direction--that is, if you choose. Although you won't take me into your confidence, I am well aware that the present is a turning-point in your career. You must at least know that I, as a clergyman, would not repeat to any one a word of what you say to me. Can you not trust me?"
"No, no; it is too painful!" said Betty. "I see that, in your heart of hearts, you think that I--I ought not--I ought _not_ to come to chapel.
I am indeed outcast!"
"No, child, you are not. Kneel down now, and let me pray with you."
"I cannot stand it--no, I cannot!" said Betty; and she turned away.
When she had gone Mr. Fairfax dropped on his knees. He prayed for a long time with fervor. But that night he missed Betty Vivian at prayers in the beautiful little chapel.
Meanwhile Betty--struggling, battling with herself, determined not to yield, feeling fully convinced that the only wrong thing she had done was telling the lie to Sir John Crawford and prevaricating to Sibyl--was nothing like so much to be pitied as Sibyl Ray herself.
Sibyl had lingered about the different corridors and pa.s.sages until she found f.a.n.n.y, who was talking to Martha West. Sibyl was so startled when the two girls came out of the private sitting-room that she almost squinted, and f.a.n.n.y at once perceived that the girl had something important to tell her. She must not, however, appear to notice Sibyl specially in the presence of Martha.
Martha, on the contrary, went up at once to Sibyl and said in her pleasant voice, "Why, my dear child, it is quite a long time since we have met! And now, I wonder what I can do for you or how I can possibly help you. Would you like to come and have a cosy chat with me in my bedroom for a little? The fact is this," continued Martha: "we Specialities are so terribly spoilt in the school that we hardly know ourselves. Fancy having a fire in one's bedroom, not only at night, but at this hour! Would you like to come with me, Sib?"
At another moment Sibyl would have hailed this invitation with rapture.
On the present occasion she was about to refuse it; but f.a.n.n.y said with a quick glance, which was not altogether lost on Martha, "Of course go with Martha, Sibyl. You are in great luck to have such a friend."
Sibyl departed, therefore, very unwillingly, with the friend she had once adored. Martha's bedroom was very plain and without ornaments, but there were snug easy-chairs and the fire burned brightly. Martha invited the little girl to sit down, and asked her how she was.
"Oh, I am all right," said Sibyl.
Martha looked at her attentively. "I don't quite understand you, Sib.
You have rather avoided me during the last day or two. Is it because I am a Speciality? I do hope that will make no difference with my old friends."
"Oh no," said Sibyl. "There's nothing so wonderful in being a Speciality, is there?"
Martha stared. "Well, to me it is very wonderful," she said; "and I cannot imagine how those other n.o.ble-minded girls think me good enough to join them."
"Oh Martha, are they so good as all that?"
"They are," said Martha; and her tone was very gloomy. She was thinking of Betty, whom she longed to comfort, whom she earnestly longed to help.
"It's so queer about Betty," said Sibyl after a pause. "She seemed to be such a very popular Speciality. Then, all of a sudden, she ceased to be one at all. I can't understand it."
"And you are never likely to, Sibyl. What happens in the club is only known to its members."
Sibyl grew red. What was coming over her? Two or three hours ago she was a girl--weak, it is true; insignificant, it is true--with a pa.s.sion for Martha West and a most genuine love and admiration for Betty Vivian. Now she almost disliked Betty; and she could not make out what charm she had ever discovered in poor, plain Martha. She got up impatiently. "You will forgive me, Martha," she said; "but I have lots of things I want to do.
I don't think I will stay just now. Perhaps you will ask me to come and talk to you another day."
"No, Sibyl, I sha'n't. When you want me you must try to find me yourself. I don't understand what is the matter with you to-day."
Sibyl grew that fiery red which always distressed her inexpressibly. The next minute she had disappeared. She ran straight to f.a.n.n.y's room, hoping and trusting that she might find its inmate within. She was not disappointed, for f.a.n.n.y was there alone; she was fully expecting Sibyl to come and see her. To Sibyl's knock she said, "Come in!" and the girl entered at once.
"Well?" said f.a.n.n.y.
"I have done what you wanted," said Sibyl. "I watched her, and I saw.
Afterwards I went to the place where she had hidden it. I took it. It is in my pocket. Please take it from me. I have done what you wished. I want to get rid of it, and never to think of it again. f.a.n.n.y, when shall I be elected a Speciality?"
But f.a.n.n.y did not speak. She had s.n.a.t.c.hed the little packet from Sibyl's hand and was gazing at it, her eyes almost starting from her head.
"When shall I become a Speciality?" whispered Sibyl.
"Don't whisper, child! The Vivians' room is next to mine. Sibyl, we must keep this a most profound secret, I am awfully obliged to you! You have been very clever and prompt. I don't wish to ask any questions at all.
Thank you, Sibyl, from my heart. I will certainly keep my promise, and at the next meeting will propose you as a member. Whether you are elected or not must, of course, depend on the votes of the majority. In the meanwhile forget all this. Be as usual with your schoolfellows. Rest a.s.sured of my undying friendship and grat.i.tude. Keep what you have done a profound secret; if anything leaks out there is no chance of your becoming a Speciality. Now, good-bye Sibyl. I mustn't be seen to take any special notice of you; people are very watchful in cases of this sort. But remember, though I don't talk to you a great deal, I shall be your true friend; and after you have become a member of our club there will, of course, be no difficulty."
"Oh, I should love to be a member!" said Sibyl. "I do so hate the tea in the refectory, and you do seem to have such cosy times in your sitting-room."
f.a.n.n.y smiled very slightly. "May I give you one word of warning?" she said. "You made a very great mistake to-day when you did not seem willing to pay Martha West a visit. Your election depends far more on Martha than on me. Between now and Thursday--when I mean to propose you as a member in place of Betty Vivian, who has forfeited her right for ever--Martha will be your most valuable ally. I do not say you will be elected--for the rules of the club are very strict, and we are most exclusive--but I will do my utmost."
"But you promised! I thought I was sure!" said Sibyl, beginning to whimper.
"Nonsense, nonsense, child! I said I would do my best. Now, keep up your friendship with Martha--that is, if you are wise."
Sibyl left the room. Her momentary elation was over, and she began to hate herself for what she had done. In all probability she would not be elected a Speciality, and then what reward would she have for acting the spy? She had acted the spy. The plain truth seemed now to flash before her eyes. She had been very mean and hard; and she had taken something which, after all, did not belong to her at all, and given it to f.a.n.n.y.
She could never get that something back. She felt that she did not dare to look at Betty Vivian. Why should not Betty hide things if she liked in the stump of an old oak-tree or under a bit of tiresome heather in the "forest primeval?" After all, Betty had not said the thing was wood; but when Sibyl had asked her she had said, "Have it so if you like." Oh!
Sibyl felt just now that she had been made a sort of cat's-paw, and that she did not like f.a.n.n.y Crawford one bit.