Bellevue Bullies: Hooked By Love Part 55

"You promise?"

I nod. "Of course."

"Okay, 'cause I need to tell you something."

My brows come together. "Okay?"

"I know this is not what you want, and I already have a plan, I do. But I knew if I didn't tell you and went with the plan, if you ever found out, it would kill you. So I have to tell you, okay?"

I'm so confused. "Okay?"

Her lip trembles as she watches me, and then her lips are moving. "I'm pregnant."

It's like the air is knocked out of me by a thousand-pound defenseman. Searching her flooded eyes, I have a hard time believing the words coming out of her mouth. "Excuse me?"

She nods. "I'm pregnant."

"But we used condoms."

"I know. I don't know how. I guess the condom broke or something."

"Birth control?" I ask, because I know I'm amazing, but my boys getting out of a condom and through birth control? I'm bada.s.s but not that bada.s.s.

"I was gonna go on birth control this month. But my period never came and I really wasn't thinking about it."

I gasp for breath, my heart pounding in my chest, and f.u.c.k. That was the last thing I thought she would say. "So you're sure?"

She nods. "I found out at the doctor's appointment this afternoon. They do a bunch of tests before they give scrips, and my pregnancy test was positive. Even the second one I made them do." She's talking so fast, I'm surprised I catch everything she says.

"Okay."

"I'm so sorry."

My mind is muddled, but I shake my head. "Don't apologize. We both lay down together. We knew what could happen."

"But we took precautions."

I shrug, swallowing hard, hoping my heart will get out of my throat. "And they didn't work. It happens. I was a birth-control baby, that's why my mom says I'm amazing, 'cause I was coming into this world one way or another."

But my mom was also in her thirties.

I'm only nineteen.

With a bright future ahead of me.

She nods, her tears rolling down her face as she holds my gaze. She's freaking out, I can see that, and I can't have that. We are okay. It might seem like a lot, but we are okay. Holding her close, I kiss her nose and then her mouth quickly. Looking deep into her eyes, I try to smile but I think I look like I'm having a seizure. "We will figure this out."

But she shakes her head. "No, Jace. I know this isn't planned, and Lord knows this is the last thing we both want. I really am sorry; I should have gotten on birth control a long time ago."

"Avery, don't be so hard on yourself. It's not like I was making sure the condom worked. I was too busy getting in your pants. It's fine. We will figure this out."

"I just don't want to jeopardize your career, Jace," she cries and I shake my head.

"You're not-"

"Which is why I made an appointment to get an abortion tomorrow."

Everything stops.

What?

Swallowing hard, I hold her gaze, unsure what to say to that. I didn't expect her to say that. I didn't even think it was on the table. My mouth is moving, but nothing is coming out as her tears splash onto my shirt.

"You don't think we should think on this?"

She shakes her head almost violently. "We can't, Jace. We'll start to think we can do this, and we can't. It's really the only option. I thought it over and over again on the plane. And the thing is, I can't carry it and give it to someone else. I just can't, but we can't keep it. We are too young, we have so much happening, and ugh, Jace. I'm so sorry. I know you don't want this." My heart is in my throat. I can't speak as her eyes search mine. She seems so sure, so determined to do this. "I mean, I can't have a career and take care of a baby, and neither can you. What if we don't work out? Then we are taking turns raising a child. I don't want to be Lucy and her douche ex; I want to be us. I want to make sure we are stable. I mean, you work at a coffee shop. I'm just an intern. It would be dumb to bring a child into this world."

Looking down, I close my eyes. I know she is making sense, but it just doesn't feel right. "Say something," she yelps, and I swallow my sob back as I squeeze my eyes shut tight.

f.u.c.king h.e.l.l.

Running my hand down my face, I look up at her and take her face in my hands. "I'm so sorry that I don't know what to say right now," I get out, the lump in my throat hurting as my eyes burn with tears. "I'm sorry we're in this situation, but I will stand by you and support you in every way possible. This is your body and your choice. I love you, Avery. With everything in my soul."

Her face is red, her tears not stopping as she holds my gaze. "Will you please go with me?"

That breaks me, and I look away. A tear is rolling down my cheek, but I don't allow any more. I have to be strong for her. I look up into her gorgeous face and nod. "Yes. Of course."

She hiccups a sob and covers her face, her cries jerking her body hard. "I'm so scared."

Holding her tighter, I dust her temple with kisses and whisper, "Me too."

She turns her face into my neck and just howls with her tears. Closing my eyes as her body rocks against mine, I allow myself to cry with her. We didn't plan this, and something like this is life-altering. She's right. We aren't ready for this. We have a plan, a life to live, one that could be ruined by a child. We aren't even remotely ready to have a baby. We are young, not only in age but also in our relationship. While I know we will be together forever, and she may know too, she's already doubted us. Because of that, I have no clue what to say to make her change her mind about the procedure.

I sure as h.e.l.l don't know how to tell her I don't want to go through with it.

I can't sleep.

Avery fell asleep hours ago, and all I can do is stare at the ceiling.

Trying to figure this out.

I spent most of the night holding her as she cried and then we tried to watch TV, but it was obvious neither of us could pay attention. Both of us were so lost in our thoughts. It just seems so crazy to me. All of it. I mean, yeah, we are pregnant. I've got that. But she seems so adamant about the abortion. Like it's the only option, but is it? I agree giving the baby away is something I couldn't do either. I know at first glance I would love it just as much as I love its mother. So that's off the table. But I don't believe in abortion.

I just don't.

Lucy was eighteen when she got pregnant with Angie. She didn't even consider getting rid of my niece. Instead, she got married. Yeah, it ended badly, but not because of her. Because of the douche. Of course it's sucked and she's struggled, but she's happy. She loves her baby and I...I...can't do this.

But it isn't my body.

I'm not the one who would carry the child for nine months, who would be Mommy. I'm just Daddy. Am I being nave here? Can we do this? I have no money-a little saved up from my dad and the ten hours a week I work at the coffee shop. But soon I'll sign a d.a.m.n good contract, and then I can take care of her and our child. She could still live her dreams; we'd figure it out, but can I get her to see that?

And then can I even guarantee it will work?

f.u.c.k.

This is too much.

When she stirs against me, rolling onto her back, I look over at her. I can't help it, I smile. She's knocked the h.e.l.l out, probably from crying most of the night. Her lips are parted, drool sliding down the side of her mouth. She's so beautiful, and as I stare at her, I know she would make a great mom. Yeah, she comes from c.r.a.p, but she would never treat her children like that. I've seen her firsthand with Angie. I know, but does she? Doesn't she realize she could be the best mom in the world?

Abortion is not the answer for us.

But how do I tell her that?

I close my eyes, my lip trembling as my hand slides onto her flat stomach. I can't feel anything. I mean, how could I? But one day I would be able to, because my baby is in there. When I look to where my hand rests, the tears start to fall because I'm supposed to stand back and let this happen. Sliding down the bed, I rest my head on her chest, and her hands come up to hold me instinctively. Looking at where her belly lies so flat, I choke back a sob and close my eyes. If this was the right thing to do, wouldn't it feel like it? Wouldn't I know? Because what I feel, what I know, is that I want to hold this baby. I don't think I can stand back and let her do this.

This may be her body, but this is my baby too.

And I can't let this happen.

But how do I tell her that?

Earlier, I just stared at her. Cried, frozen and speechless as she looked at me, wanting something other than what I could give her. I froze, my bad, but d.a.m.n it, this isn't right.

Right?

I'm suffocating.

I need to know I'm not insane.

That I can make this work.

I don't even really realize what I'm doing until I get up, climbing out of the bed and sliding my feet into my shoes as I throw on a hoodie. Opening the door, hoping I don't wake Markus or Avery, I shut it and then shoot up the stairs and out into the cold air. Sucking in a deep breath, I look up at the sky and shake my head.

And I know what I have to do.

Soon, I'm full out running to my car, ignoring the burn in my chest or the way my shoes are rubbing on the backs of my ankles.

By the time I pull into my mom's driveway, I realize I didn't think this through. The house is pitch black. I really don't want to wake anyone, but I need to talk to my sister. She'll tell it the way it is. My mom will sugarcoat it, Jude and Jayden will freak, and my dad, um, no. Lucy, though, she'll give me the truth even if I don't like it. I just hope the truth is what I'm thinking because I think I've got my mind set.

Parking behind her car, I jump out and walk around the house, dialing her number. "Jace?" she answers sleepily. "What's wrong?"

"Hey, open your window."

"Huh?"

I knock on her window. "Open your window."

"What the h.e.l.l-"

I hear her moving around and then see the light come on before the blinds go up and she's looking at me, confused. Hitting the latch, she pushes the window open and looks at me incredulously. "It's five in the morning."

I nod. "I need to talk to you."

"Now?"

"Yes."

"It's my only time to sleep," she whines as I climb over the ledge, but then she eyes me. "Are you crying? I thought you said you and Avery are good?" she whispers and I nod.

"We are." I swallow around the lump in my throat. That's for sure. Everything else is a little spotty, but she and I, we are good. "She's pregnant."

Lucy pauses. Her eyes widen, her body jerks in surprise, and her mouth drops open as she holds my gaze. She slowly covers her mouth, her eyes falling shut as she shakes her head. "Oh, Jace, I thought you knew better. Wrap it up, dude."

"We did. Every time," I say slowly, my heart still not beating right. "When you're this amazing, your boys break condoms."

She balks and I try for a smile, but then I just shake my head. I'm lame. "Thank you for that image, Jace."

"Anytime." Silence falls between us as she walks to her bed, sitting down before patting the spot beside her.

"So because you are here at five a.m., I'm sure you are freaking out?"

"I am," I whisper, and when my mouth starts to tremble, I look over at her. "She wants to get an abortion."

Her eyes widen again as she sucks in a breath. "What?"

"Yeah." I hold my face in my hands as my elbows dig into my knees. "Lucy, I don't want that." She scoots over, her hand moving up and down my back as the other lays flat against my hands. "But I don't know how to tell her that. She's so determined, and I think she thinks it's the only option. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell her not to, that we can do this. She was crying, explaining why. She was so sure, but I don't want to. I want to keep it."

"Oh, Jace," she whispers, holding me close. "Are you sure? There is another option. I know plenty of people who would love to adopt a baby."

"No. I want my baby," I say sternly.

She nods. "Okay, so why didn't you tell her that?"

"I couldn't speak, and she'd already made the appointment for today before she even told me."

"Jesus Christ, are you serious?"

"Yeah, I'm telling you, it was insane. I was so overwhelmed."

"So ask her to cancel it."

"But it's not my body," I stress, and she gives me a dirty look.

"Who the f.u.c.k cares? It's your baby too."

I try to look up at her, but my tears make her blurry. "That doesn't matter. It's her body. Who am I to ask her not to?"

"The father, who wants his child. I really don't think she wants this. She loves kids. Are you sure? Did she say, 'I want an abortion'?"