Behaving Badly Part 36

'I know you did, but I don't take orders from you. And I wanted to try and put it right-I always have done-so I decided to try and find David.'

'You went and looked for him?' he said, dumbfounded.

'Yes.'

'You mean, you've deliberately stirred all this up again, when it was long dead and buried?'

'It wasn't dead and buried for me.'

'But don't you realize the damage you could cause to yourself-and to me-if this ever gets out?'

I nodded. 'Oh yes. I realize that very well.'

He got up and walked over to the window. I could see the muscles in his jaw tense and flex as he peered through the slats in the Venetian blind. 'Do you want money, Miranda? Is that it?' he asked quietly.

'Don't be obscene.'

He turned and stared at me. 'Then what do you want? I mean, what is your real purpose in raking all this up again-quite unnecessarily-unless it's to try and destroy me?'

'That's not the reason at all. I just want justice for David. His life was shattered that day-thanks to you. And every time he looks at his hands, he's reminded of what happened.'

There was a moment's silence, in which I saw Jimmy swallow. 'And did you give him my name?' I just looked at him, making him wait, enjoying his anxiety. 'Did you?' he repeated. He gave me a defiant glare, but he shifted slightly from foot to foot.

'No.' His face seemed almost to collapse with relief. 'He asked me, of course, but I decided, for now, not to tell him.'

'Well don't! Just keep your trap shut, like I said!'

'What I did tell him,' I went on quite calmly, 'was that although I delivered the video, I didn't have the faintest idea what it really was. And that's perfectly true, isn't it?' There was another silence.

'Yes,' he conceded. 'That's true.' I was aware of the vibrations of the tiny tape recorder and prayed that it was working properly.

'You tricked me into partic.i.p.ating in a criminal act which could have resulted in the death of either David, or his father, or his mother, or brother, and I am now going to ask you why. And if you refuse to tell me, then I promise you I will tell David your real name, and exactly who you are. You've got about three minutes until your secretary gets back, Jimmy, so I suggest you start right now.'

'Will you stop calling me Jimmy-my name is James,' he snapped. 'And I'm going to call security and have you slung out.'

'If you do, I'll go to the press.'

'They won't be able to print it.'

'Why not?'

'Because I'll slap a libel suit on them-that's why. I can easily afford it, Miranda-and I'll win.'

'But you'll be tainted, Jimmy. Imagine the headlines. They'll stick to you for the rest of your life.'

'It'll be your word against mine. The word of a woman who was infatuated with me-and who was, moreover, well known to the police at that time for her little adventures on the animal rights front. No one will believe you, Miranda,' he added smoothly. 'You'll only end up destroying yourself. I've kept all your letters, by the way.'

My heart sank. 'I thought you might have done.'

'Well, I guessed-accurately, as it turns out-that you'd make trouble for me one day. Those letters prove how obsessed with me you were.'

'Yes. I was. To my shame.'

'And now that you've met me again, and discovered that I'm very successful, and yes, very happily married, you've decided to take your revenge. That's how you'll look by the time my QC's finished with you. Like a bitter, scorned woman, out to destroy a decent man.'

'I don't care how I'll look. I only care about David knowing the truth. So I just want you to tell me. And if you don't, I'll ring him on my mobile, right now, and give him your name.' I got the phone out of my bag. 'Once he knows your ident.i.ty, he'll be perfectly ent.i.tled to go to the police, and you may then find yourself at the centre of a highly publicized civil case. David is ent.i.tled to compensation from you for his injured hands, and he may well seek it.'

Jimmy's face had gone grey. 'You'll be tarnished too,' he muttered. 'Your TV career will be over.'

'I know. But that's the risk I've taken.'

'But I still don't understand,' he whined. 'Why the h.e.l.l would you want to go and look for the guy?'

'I've already explained: because I no longer wanted to live with the guilt. And if you don't tell me why you targeted Derek White in the next two minutes, Jimmy, I'll ring David's number.'

'I've told you my name is James,' he hissed. 'James Mulholland-got that?'

'I'm sorry. But it's hard for me to remember, because when I knew you, you were plain Jimmy Smith. More importantly, you were the animal rights campaigner who deplored violence. Although...now I think about it... I remember what you used to say. You used to say that violence was unacceptable because it "attracted bad publicity for the animal rights movement"-not, interestingly, because it was wrong. Even so, I had no idea you were capable of what you did that day. Perhaps you'd even done it before.'

'No,' he said sullenly. He sat down again. 'I hadn't.'

'So why did you do it then?' I saw the muscle at the side of his mouth flex and jump. 'Why did you try to kill Derek White?'

'I wasn't trying to kill him,' he moaned, his head sinking slightly. 'I just...' he shrugged, '...wanted to give him a bit of a...shock. He'd been such a b.a.s.t.a.r.d to me, after all.'

'Had he?'

'Yes,' he said angrily. 'He had.'

I felt goose-b.u.mps begin to raise themselves on my arms as I sensed the truth coming, at last. 'So what had he done then?' I asked softly, almost sympathetically.

'Oh, plenty of things,' he replied. 'Plenty,' he repeated, between clenched teeth. He shook his head again. 'If it hadn't been for him, I would have...' He stopped himself, then drew in a long breath through his nose.

'If it hadn't been for him-what?' There was silence for a moment, during which I was aware of the steady ticking of the clock.

'He had it in for me,' Jimmy went on sourly. 'He really had it in for me.' Now, he seemed almost to forget I was there, as the bitter memories came flooding back. 'White never liked me-in fact, he hated me. He made that clear from the start.'

'You were one of his students?' I asked. 'I never knew that.'

He nodded. 'I was in his microbiology set. And whatever I did was never good enough,' he spat. 'However hard I worked, I got low grades. Then, in my last year, he f.u.c.ked me over. He f.u.c.ked me right over. Why? Because he didn't like me. I should have complained. Because if it hadn't been for that, I would have been perfectly okay; I would have got a...' He suddenly seemed to collect himself.

'You would have got a what?'

'Oh, never you mind,' he muttered. 'But the point is, I didn't mean to do him any serious harm. I only wanted to make him jump. It was just...a firework,' he went on. 'A firework with a bit of sodium nitrate. But I'd obviously got the strength wrong. Then I heard what had happened, and, yes, it was...' he shrugged, '...regrettable.'

I laughed. 'You sound like Gerry Adams.'

'Look, I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt.'

'David White had to have a total of thirteen operations on his hands-five on his left one and eight on his right. He had to leave Cambridge, where he was studying medicine, early. He had flashbacks for years. He will bear the physical and emotional scars of what you did to him for the rest of his life.'

Jimmy flinched. 'Don't tell him my name, Miranda. Please, don't. It's not necessary.'

I looked at him. 'All right. I won't. But if he chooses to pursue me through the civil courts-which remains a possibility-then I will have to say, under oath, that it was you, so you should be aware of that.'

Jimmy suddenly looked as lost and lonely as a small boy. 'I've dreaded this,' he said quietly. 'I've dreaded it for years.'

'I'm sure you have. But thanks for telling me the truth, at last.'

Suddenly the door opened, and Jimmy's secretary appeared with a paper carrier.

'I've got you egg-is that okay? Is that okay?' she repeated. 'Egg?'

He nodded absently as she handed him the bag. 'Yes,' he whispered. 'That's...fine.'

'Well, thank you very much for your time,' I said as I stood up. 'It really was a very helpful meeting. Don't worry-James-I'll see myself out.'

As I walked back down the corridor, I felt euphoric. I knew the truth at last. I'd be able to tell David, and though it might not bring him back, he would perhaps, at least, understand.

By now it was eleven forty, and by the time I got back to Daisy's it was almost half past twelve, so we were able to have a quick lunch in her office. She closed her door and, as we ate our sandwiches, I played her bits of the tape. Not only had it worked-it had come out very clearly.

'So it was student revenge then,' she said, as she pa.s.sed me a bottle of water. I glanced at her files with their odd labels-'Camel Hire', 'Wedding Helicopters', 'Alpine Wonderland' and 'Moulin Rouge'.

'Student revenge-but for what?'

'For failing microbiology obviously.'

'But that's what I don't understand. Jimmy didn't fail.'

'What do you mean?' She wiped her hands on her napkin.

'He got a first.'

'Did he?'

'Yes. In Biochemistry-so why would he go for David's father like that?' Daisy was staring at me, as confused, quite clearly, as I was-then she suddenly smiled.

'I know why,' she said.

'Why?'

'Because it isn't actually true.'

I looked at her. That thought hadn't even occurred to me. 'But I'm pretty sure it is. It's on his website. He'd hardly make such a claim if it were a lie.'

'Wouldn't he? I'm not sure. Lots of politicians lie.'

'But saying you got a first when you didn't would be an enormous risk, surely.'

Daisy shrugged. 'Politicians take risks all the time. Think of what Jeffrey Archer had to hide. And in any case, no-one ever checks what degree you got, do they, so no doubt he thought he'd get away with it.'

'Maybe you're right,' I said. 'Yes... And maybe that's what Jimmy was about to say. He said that if it hadn't been for Professor White he would have got a...something. Then he stopped. He would have got a first. I think, maybe, that's what he was going to say, but he stopped himself just in time. Christ,' I laughed. 'You're right. What a turn-up! Now it all makes sense.'

'I wonder what degree he did get?' Daisy mused.

'I don't know.'

'What did he say when you knew him?'

'I can't remember him saying anything at all. All I knew was that he'd graduated the summer before and was staying on for a bit in Brighton while he looked for a job.'

'What did he want to do in those days?'

'He applied for all sorts of things-management consultancy, the BBC traineeship scheme. I remember he sat the foreign office exams too.'

'So top-notch career ambitions then?'

'Yes, although half the time he didn't even get interviewed.'

'Perhaps it was because of his animal rights campaigning.'

'I doubt it, as he was above-board. He was always giving local newspaper interviews saying that violence wasn't the way. He was the acceptable face of the movement, articulate and attractive, not grungy and aggressive.'

'Then it must have been because his degree was too low.'

'Quite possibly. Yes. And so, feeling increasingly thwarted and resentful, he blames the professor and...boom! Derek White gets it. Or rather, David does.'

'So what did Jimmy do for a job?'

'The profiles on the Net say he became a local radio journalist in York. He seems to have done that for at least five years.'

'So he wasn't planning to go into politics then?'

'No. If he'd been actively planning a political career, he would never have done what he did-far too risky-however much he loathed Derek White. The political career seems to have happened by chance when he interviewed Jack Straw and got offered a job as his parliamentary researcher, and then things took off from there.'

'So he went into politics knowing that he had this awful skeleton in his closet. G.o.d.' she breathed. 'He must have been terrified of it ever coming to light.'

'Yes. He admitted that just now.'

'And he must have prayed never to see you again.'

'He probably hoped I was dead.' I took the ca.s.sette out of the tiny tape recorder, labelled it, and tucked it carefully into my bag.

'Don't lose it,' said Daisy.

'I won't.'

'And are you going to play it to David?'