Beggars Bush Part 8

_1 B._ O excellent! two-pence a piece boyes, two-pence a piece.

Give the boys some drink there. Piper, wet your whistle, Canst tell me a way now, how to cut off my wifes Concupiscence?

_Hig._ I'le sing ye a Song for't.

_The_ SONG.

_Take her, and hug her, And turn her and tug her, And turn her again boy, again, Then if she mumble, Or if her tail tumble, Kiss her amain hoy, amain.

Do thy endeavour, To take off her feaver, Then her disease no longer will raign.

If nothing will serve her, Then thus to preserve her, Swinge her amain boy amain.

Give her cold jelly To take up her belly, And once a day swinge her again, If she stand all these pains, Then knock out her brains, Her disease no longer will reign._

_1 Bo._ More excellent, more excellent, sweet Sow-gelder.

_2 Bo._ Three-pence a piece, three-pence a piece.

_Hig._ Will you hear a Song how the Devil was gelded?

_3 Bo._ I, I, let's hear the Devil roar, Sow-gelder.

SONG.

1.

_He ran at me first in the shape of a Ram, And over and over the Sow-Gelder came; I rise and I halter'd him fast by the horn, I pluckt out his Stones as you'd pick out a Corn.

Baa, quoth the Devil, and forth he slunk, And left us a Carcase of Mutton that stunk.

2.

The next time I rode a good mile and a half, Where I heard he did live in disguise of a Calf, I bound and I gelt him, ere he did any evil; He was here at his best, but a sucking Devil.

Maa, yet he cry'd, and forth he did steal, And this was sold after, for excellent Veal.

3.

Some half a year after in the form of a Pig, I met with the Rogue, and he look'd very big; I catch'd at his leg, laid him down on a log, Ere a man could fart twice, I had made him a Hog.

Owgh, quoth the Devil, and forth gave a Jerk, That a Jew was converted, and eat of the Perk._

_1 Bo._ Groats apiece, Groats apiece, Groats apiece, There sweet Sow-Gelder.

_Enter_ Prig _and_ Ferret.

_Prig._ Will ye see any feats of activity, Some Sleight of hand, Legerdemain? hey pa.s.s, Presto, be gone there?

_2 Bo._ Sit down Jugler.

_Prig._ Sirrah, play you your art well; draw near Piper: Look you, my honest friends, you see my hands; Plain dealing is no Devil: lend me some Money, Twelve-pence a piece will serve.

_1. 2. B._ There, there.

_Prig._ I thank you, Thank ye heartily: when shall I pay ye?

_All B._ Ha, ha, ha, by th' Ma.s.s this was a fine trick.

_Prig._ A merry sleight toy: but now I'll show your Worships A trick indeed.

_Hig._ Mark him well now my Masters.

_Prig._ Here are three b.a.l.l.s, These b.a.l.l.s shall be three bullets, One, two, and three: _ascentibus, malentibus_.

_Presto_, be gone: they are vanish'd: fair play, Gentlemen.

Now these three, like three Bullets, from your three Noses Will I pluck presently: fear not, no harm Boys,

_t.i.tere, tu patule._

_1 B._ Oh, oh, oh.

_Prig._ _Recubans sub jermlne f.a.gi._

_2 B._ Ye pull too hard; ye pull too hard.

_Prig._ Stand fair then: _Silvertramtrim-tram._

_3 B._ Hold, hold, hold.

_Prig._ Come aloft, bullets three, with a whim-wham.

Have ye their Moneys?

_Hig._ Yes, yes.

_1 B._ Oh rare Jugler!

_2 B._ Oh admirable Jugler!

_Prig._ One trick more yet; Hey, come aloft; _sa, sa, flim, flum, taradumbis_?

East, West, North, South, now fly like _Jack_ with a _b.u.mbis_.

Now all your money's gone; pray search your pockets.

_1 B._ Humh.

_2 B._ He.

_3 B._ The Devil a penny's here!

_Prig._ This was a rare trick.

_1 B._ But 'twould be a far rarer to restore it.

_Prig._ I'll do ye that too; look upon me earnestly, And move not any ways your eyes from this place, This b.u.t.ton here? pow, whir, whiss, shake your pockets.

_1 B._ By th' Ma.s.s 'tis here again, boys.