Beautifully Broken: If You Leave Part 41

His hands are everywhere, sliding down my hips, pulling at my clothes. I help kick them away and within a minute we are both naked. The friction is delicious and I revel in the feel of his body against mine.

My hips tilt for him and he cups me there, his mouth tracing my arm.

"I love the way you smell," he tells me as he runs his lips along my shoulder, kissing my skin lightly as he makes his way back to my mouth. "I dream about that smell."

I dream about him.

About this.

I lift my legs around his hips and pull him toward me... into me.

And suddenly I feel complete. He takes all of me, right down to my fingertips, to my toes, to the innermost parts of my heart.

My hidden parts.

My secrets.

He takes it and takes it and I give it all.

Because I want him to have it.

As he slides into me I know that I never want to be without him again. It's a heady feeling and it doesn't terrify me a bit.

As he slowly thrusts into me, in and out, leisurely, slowly, he skims his hands everywhere... as though he can't stop touching me.

Like he's trying to decide if I'm real.

I look into his dark eyes. "I love you," I whisper.

He grins, a slow smile that spreads to his eyes.

"I know," he answers, before he buries his face in my neck and shudders from his release. "I love you too. G.o.d, I love you."

His words, ragged and raw, pierce my heart and send me over the edge and I follow him, shaking and arching against him, crying his name as I come.

As I lie beneath him, I know that I could die a happy death here in his arms, and we lie twisted together for what seems like forever, just listening to each other breathe.

But eventually we get hungry, so I make a tray of sliced meat, cheese and crackers and we curl up on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

"What about your nightmares?" I ask as I sip at my wine. "Are they gone?"

He shakes his head. "I've had them, but only for part of the night. It used to be a continuous thing, all night long. We can keep our fingers crossed that it lasts. Either way it's progress. For now, though, I'm going to sleep on your chaise. I don't want to take any chances just yet."

I nod, even though I don't want to. I don't want to sleep apart, but I also don't want to get strangled again. So we'll do what we have to do.

"Did you notice the house?" I ask him quietly and he looks around, only just now noticing the new paint and furniture. "I know you carried me into my old bedroom and I didn't correct you, but I've moved into the master bedroom. I've had everything changed... to make it my own."

Gabe stares at me, with something very close to admiration in his eyes. "So you've gone from not being able to open that door to moving in there in two weeks' time?"

I smile. "I've got b.a.l.l.s, Gabe. Someone told me that once."

He smiles back. "You do have b.a.l.l.s. Whoever told you that was brilliant."

We laugh and drop our plates in the sink, then head back to bed, where I curl up in his arms.

"Don't leave me again," I tell him before I close my eyes to sleep. "Ever."

"Don't worry," he answers quietly, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. "It's good to be home."

I look up at him, struggling to keep my eyes open after this h.e.l.lishly long day. "Do you really consider Angel Bay home now?"

He brushes the hair away from my face with his strong fingers as he stares down at me.

"Maddy, I consider wherever you are home."

Chapter Thirty-Two.

"We're on our way in a couple of minutes," I tell Mila, balancing the phone between my chin and my shoulder as I grab my purse from the kitchen table. "We're going to stop and get you a milkshake and then we'll be there. Please don't make it weird, OK? I'm really not comfortable bringing him out there so soon, but Pax needs me to sit with you, so..." My voice trails off because I'm not sure what to say.

"It'll be OK," Mila tells me cheerfully, before she lowers her voice. "Trust me, I understand. But just know that Pax plans on talking to Gabe."

I freeze. "Talking to him?"

I can practically see Mila nod. "Yeah. I told him touching isn't allowed when he talks to him."

"Well, thanks for that," I answer. "Tell him he really doesn't need to. Gabe and I have worked it out. I know why he left. He had a good reason. He's only been back for a day. I don't need for Pax to scare him off already."

I know Gabriel isn't going anywhere. But still.

"I know that he left for a good reason," Mila sighs. "And you know that. But Pax just wants to make sure it doesn't happen again. It's a man thing, I think."

"OK," I sigh as I hang up. Gabe looks at me from the driver's seat.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he turns the key and his Camaro fires up. I shake my head.

"Apparently, Pax wants to talk to you about what happened. I'm sorry. I could tell him not to, but it's probably best just to get it out of the way. He doesn't have much family and so he's protective over who he's got."

Gabe nods, unaffected. "That's fine," he tells me easily. "I respect that. And I deserve it. I'll listen to whatever he has to say."

I shake my head. "Men."

We grab the milkshake and are at Pax and Mila's within a few minutes.

As we walk up to the front door, Pax opens it. Apparently he's been watching for us.

"Hey, little brother," I greet him carefully. "What's going on?"

Pax is wearing his most intimidating expression as he opens the door wider, motioning for us to come in. If I were a guy, I'd be tucking my tail and running. But Gabe doesn't. He stands firmly at my side.

"Hey, Mad," Pax greets me before turning to Gabe. "Can you give us a minute? I'd like to talk to Gabe, if you don't mind."

"Actually I do," I tell Pax. "I'll just stick around for this. And don't forget what Mila told you. No touching allowed."

"You don't need to worry about that," Pax tells me as we head up into the living room. I glance at him.

"Oh, I think I do. I'll stay," I answer firmly.

He shrugs. "Suit yourself. It's not going to take long," he says, turning to Gabe.

"I already told you that I respect the h.e.l.l out of what you did as a Ranger. Because of all the s.h.i.t you had to do, it doesn't surprise me that you came home with baggage. That's fine. I don't hold that against you.

"But if you ever treat Maddy like that again-if you ever leave her high and dry or lay one finger on her in a way that I don't approve of, I will f.u.c.k you up. You might be an Army Ranger, but don't ever doubt that I can hold my own."

Gabe looks at him in the eye as they stand toe-to-toe. Pax's arm flexes at his side, but Gabe remains relaxed and still.

"I don't doubt that," Gabe answers calmly. "Any of it. Trust me, I'm not going to hurt Maddy again. I promised her and I promise you. What I did was s.h.i.tty. I didn't know how else to protect her from me, so I just left. If I could do it over, I would think of another way. But I can't. What I can do is promise to never f.u.c.k up like that again."

Pax nods slowly. "That's all that needs to be said. I respect the h.e.l.l out of you coming to Tony's funeral and speaking. That was a stand-up thing to do."

Gabe nods slowly. "Thanks. It just seemed like the right thing to do."

There is a pause and I stare at Pax.

"Are you done waving your p.e.n.i.s around now? Because I should go see Mila and I don't want to leave you two alone unless it's safe."

He chuckles. "It's safe, Mad. She's upstairs, of course. I need to talk to Gabe a little about business before I leave. Thank you again for coming out today. I know that she doesn't need a babysitter, but I just don't like her being alone now that her due date is so close."

"Oh, I agree," I tell him. "She shouldn't be alone. It's not a big deal for me to be here."

When I walk away, I overhear Pax talking to Gabe about his armor again, something that makes me smile. I knew that he'd only withdrawn from investing because of me.

He's loyal to the bone.

I climb the stairs and poke my head in Mila's room.

"It's all over. Everyone has been adequately threatened and apparently all is well."

I hand her the milkshake.

"I'm glad," Mila answers. "I didn't want him to say anything at all, but you know how men are."

Scowling, she rolls this way and that, trying to get situated. I bend and adjust the giant pillow that she keeps behind her back.

"Better?"

She nods, but I can tell she's lying. "I can't get comfortable today," she grumbles. "My back hurts. And my hips. And my everything. It's probably because I'm getting so enormous. And because I'm stuck in this freaking bed."

I eye her tiny body. "Yeah, you're enormous. You look like a gnat with gas. Sit still and I'll do your nails. It'll keep your mind off of it."

"You can try," Mila sighs as she examines her hand. "But my discomfort refuses to be ignored."

"Well, we'll give it a shot."

I have painted her fingers and have moved on to her toes before she finally brings up Gabe. I've been waiting for it. Actually, I'm surprised it took her this long.

"So, are you going to tell me more about how it's going with Gabe?" she asks, attempting to be casual.

I smile. "It's great, actually. I know he's only been home a day, but apparently his nightmares have gotten better and things are on the right track. We're good, Mila. It's hard because so much has happened, but I'm just so happy he's back. That's all that matters right now. We'll deal with everything else."

"I know that feeling." Mila nods. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of this, Mad. But trust me, sometimes the hardest situations make for the best happily-ever-afters. I have to believe that you're gonna get yours. Gabriel has definitely put the work in."

"I know," I agree. "I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. To find out that it's not real. That I just dreamed it-that I'm going to wake up and he's still going to be gone. But so far, so good. It's real and he's here and everything's OK."

"You'll get used to it," she tells me knowingly, glancing at my face.

I look up at her. "Used to what?"

"Used to loving someone like that, used to not waiting for it all to collapse. I know it's hard, especially after he left you like that. I know how that feels. Gabe loves you too, you know. Anyone can see it. And one of these days, you're going to realize that what you have is real. You'll learn to trust it."

"G.o.d, I hope so," I murmur, knowing exactly what she means. We slip into silence as I finish up her toes, each of us lost in her thoughts.

After a while, after the nail polish has dried, Mila shakes her head, as if to shake the thoughts away.

"I could really use a shower," she tells me wryly. "I only get to have one once a week, you know. It's the grossest thing ever. Those sponge baths just don't do it for me."

"You do smell," I agree and she slugs me. "OK. I'll help. Let me go get your stuff ready and I'll be right back."

She nods and I make my way into her bathroom to get her shower bench ready, and line up all her bath products so she doesn't have to reach for them.

I come back and take her spindly little arm, helping her from her bed. Her muscles shake as we walk, evidence of how much they've deteriorated over the past few months of disuse. The doctor said it was normal, that she'd build them back up after the baby was born, but right now she's so clearly weak.

"You really do have chicken legs now," I tell her helpfully as she takes off her robe and I settle her on the bench. "Just like Tony always said."

Thinking of Tony makes my throat instantly tight, makes me instantly sad, and I wish I hadn't said it. I guess Mila thinks the same way because she punches me again.

"Ow," I grumble as I turn on the water nozzle and accidentally spray her in the face with it. She screeches at the cold water, grasping at me with wet hands.

"Hey," I shriek, grabbing her. "I'm sorry. Calm down before you hurt yourself. You were up entirely too much yesterday. You don't need to push your luck today."

She obediently settles down and sits still as I spray her hair with warm water and work it into a lather with shampoo. I hum aimlessly as my fingers ma.s.sage her scalp, then as I rinse the soap out.