Beautifully Broken: If You Leave Part 16

What an interesting thing to say. I'm sure that, for him, fear is a choice. It's how he's been trained. He's hard and strong and he's not afraid of anything.

Except for one thing. The thing that brought him to his knees that night in Chicago.

His secret.

We walk to his car and I slide into the pa.s.senger seat, clicking my seat belt. I don't know what it is about guys and hot rods, and I'll probably never understand it.

As Gabe pulls out of the parking lot, he glances at me.

"I'm sorry about your parents."

c.r.a.p.

"You overheard that?" I ask, not looking him in the eye. I hate talking about this with people. I hate the sympathy in their eyes and trying to figure out what to do with it.

He nods.

"Yeah. I was standing right behind you." But then he drops it.

I don't know whether he's just not interested enough to ask questions or whether he's uncomfortable talking about stuff like that, but either way I'm grateful. If I never talk about my parents dying again, that would be just fine with me.

"What was Jared saying about my sister?" Gabe asks as he turns onto the main road. I shake my head.

"He said she was lying about him and wanted me to tell her to stop. I have no clue what he was talking about."

Gabriel looks thoughtful. "I don't know either. But he ran like the p.u.s.s.y he is. You know, he grabbed you. I'm sure the gas station probably has a surveillance camera. You could press charges if you want to. Teach the little s.h.i.t a lesson."

"I might," I answer. "I keep thinking that he'll get tired of messing with Jacey, that he'll just go away, but he hasn't so far. Maybe we really should call the police. On the other hand, if I do, that might really p.i.s.s him off and he'll never stop. I grew up with him. He's always gonna be an a.s.shole."

"You don't need to be intimidated by him," Gabriel says firmly. "That's why I'm here, so that he can't shove you guys around. He's a schoolyard bully that needs to grow up. But don't underestimate him."

I nod slowly. "Let's change the subject. I've had enough of Jared for the day."

Gabe finally smiles, a slow smile that spreads along his lips.

"OK. First you can tell me which way to turn, then you can tell me the real reason you're f.u.c.king around with doctor boy."

I roll my eyes. "Left. And I told you the real reason. He's been a friend for a long time."

Gabriel's the one rolling his eyes now.

"He doesn't think he's just your friend," Gabe points out as he turns down my road. "You should put him out of his misery."

"And why would I do that?" I demand. "You don't know what I'm going to do."

"No," Gabriel concedes. "But I know what you want. You want me."

"Oh, geez. Are we back to that?" I shake my head, but his words cause a rush of warmth to spread through me. I do want him, a.s.shole c.o.c.kiness and all.

"Jacey thinks you should date me," Gabriel announces as he turns into my drive.

I put my hand on the car handle. "You don't want to date me," I tell him. "You want to f.u.c.k me. There's a big difference."

He shrugs. "Tomato, tomahto."

A thrill shoots through me and I can't help but smile as I open the door.

"To be honest, I rarely do what your sister suggests. She's insane."

"Yes, she is," Gabriel agrees. "About most things. The verdict is still out on this particular thing, though."

"Oh, really?" I ask, my eyebrow c.o.c.ked.

"Yup. Maybe we should do a little research. You know, just to see. Let's have dinner on Sat.u.r.day night."

And with that, just like that, the game is back on.

He stares at me, waiting for me to accept.

Do you want to play? Yes or no?

He apparently thinks there's no way I would decline. I have to avoid looking at his totally cut body so that I can. I have to put the image of him standing up for me out of my mind.

Because there's something about him that I don't know.

Something secret.

Something that made him freak the f.u.c.k out, turning this strong protector into a violent incoherent guy who has panic attacks and punches walls. And I have no idea what that something is.

I shake my head.

"You're so c.o.c.ky," I tell him. "So fricking c.o.c.ky. I would've thought that you would be too busy with your other dates. But it doesn't matter. I can't on Sat.u.r.day. Sorry."

I have no plans whatsoever, but he doesn't need to know that. If he can throw his dates in my face, I can throw mine in his. Even if mine are imaginary.

Gabriel looks stunned and then realization clouds his face as he remembers that he told me he had a date last night. He starts to say something, but I cut him off as I spin around and head for my house. With every step I feel his dark gaze hitting me between the shoulder blades.

I ignore it.

But one thing I can't ignore is that everything about that man makes my knees weak. I can't ignore the look in his eyes: that dark, dark look that says, Don't worry. No one will hurt you on my watch. I can't ignore the way one look from him sets my blood on fire.

And I can't ignore the biggest thing of all, the heavy question that sits on my chest all the time, even though I've only just acknowledged it.

I know he has a secret that has the ability to turn him into everything that I'm afraid of.

The question is, are all the good things I know about him enough to make me see past it?

Chapter Ten.

Work seems particularly monotonous today. I've placed next month's food order, drunk four cups of coffee, and I have a caffeine buzz when I follow up with Jacey and make sure that she's up in time to come to work.

She's made a habit lately of coming home from the clubs in the early-morning hours, then oversleeping for work. That was one thing when we were teenagers, but we're not kids anymore. It's time to grow up.

"Yes," Jacey sighs into the phone. "I'm up. I'm showered. I'll be there shortly. You didn't need to check on me. And what did you do to my brother this morning? He said he gave you a ride, but he was mean as h.e.l.l when he came home."

"Nothing. I just told him I couldn't go out with him on Sat.u.r.day."

"G.o.d," Jacey grumbles. "Why can't you just hook up already? You know you both want to and you'll both be happier when you do."

I'm starting to think she's right, but I don't say that.

"Whatever. I'll have your paycheck ready when you get here."

" 'K. I'll be there soon."

We hang up and I stare forlornly at the papers balanced precariously in stacks on my desk. I decide to take a quick break and run out to the dining room to stretch my legs. As I enter, Tony calls for me from the bar.

"Hey, Maddy. Your sister just called and wanted to know if you'd bring her out some soup on your way home. Pax is in Hartford for a week and she's not feeling that well today. She really didn't sound good. Maybe you should take it to her right now."

I'm instantly concerned. Mila isn't one to complain, not ever. She could be on her deathbed and she wouldn't whine.

"Seriously?" I ask Tony as I lean against the bar. "What's wrong with her, did she say? Is it morning sickness still or something else?"

He shakes his giant head. "She didn't say. She just said she feels sicker than usual and that she's going to stay in bed today."

"Well, h.e.l.l," I mutter. "That's not like her. I hope she doesn't have the flu. If you box something up I'll run it out to her right now."

"Already done," Tony grins, handing me a large carryout sack. "There are saltines in there too. They might settle her stomach."

It's not a problem to make a food run to my sister. Her house is only a few minutes away, perched on the edge of the bluffs by the lake. It was Pax's before they got married and it's a gorgeous home.

I knock on the door and when Mila finally answers it I'm even more concerned. Her face has a grayish pallor to it, her normally bright eyes dull, and she's still in her nightgown.

"What the h.e.l.l?" I exclaim as I follow her into the house. "What's wrong with you? Is your morning sickness worse? That's not normal, right? Shouldn't you be over that by now?"

"I don't know," she groans. "I had the worst stomachache last night, so I was up all night long. I barely slept."

I gently push her onto a barstool and begin unloading her lunch. "When did Pax leave?"

Mila drops her head onto her crossed arms. "Yesterday. Don't tell him that I'm sick or he'll come straight home. He's got meetings with his grandpa this week."

I stare at her uncertainly. "I don't know, Mi. You look pretty bad."

"That's exactly why I don't want him to come home, Madison. Have a heart. It's just a stomach bug. He doesn't need to be here, listening to me every time I'm in the bathroom. Seriously. How embarra.s.sing."

I sigh. "Fine. I won't call him yet. But you've got to promise to get some rest. Is there anything else I can bring you?"

She shakes her head. "Nope. I'm just going to finish eating this and then curl up and sleep."

"I'll sit with you for a bit."

Mila manages a smile. "You're as overprotective as Pax is."

I don't even bother to answer, because I know she's right.

"So, how's life?" she asks quietly in between bites. "How was your date with Ethan?"

I roll my eyes. "That's probably the last time I listen to your advice about my love life. It was dry, boring, vanilla... all the things that Ethan is."

"Awww. Poor Ethan," Mila answers sympathetically. "He can't help it."

"I know," I answer ruefully. And I do.

"This soup is good," Mila says, blowing on another spoonful as she changes the subject. "Can you tell Tony thank you for me?"

Mila sticks another bite in her mouth and, as she does, I hear the muted buzz of my cell phone in my purse. I slide it out and am startled to see the text message it displays.

This is Gabriel. I have to tell you something.

The mere sight of his name on my phone causes my pulse to race and I stare at it. This catches Mila's attention and she pauses, watching me, interested now.

I answer, How did you get my number? Let's start with that.

I grin and Mila raises an eyebrow.

"Who is it?" she asks curiously.

"No one," I tell her. She rolls her eyes but returns to her soup, her forehead in her hand.

My phone buzzes.

From Jacey, obviously.

I answer, Jacey talks a lot.

It takes him one second to reply, h.e.l.l yes, she does.

I feel a little breathless as I type, What did you need to tell me?

There is a moment, and then, My date the other night was with Brand.