Barks and Purrs Part 5

TOBY-DOG, (_distracted_)

Oh, you inexplicable person! How can you sit there quietly? Don't you hear those cries? They're stopping now--the accident has gone away. Wish I'd known ...

(_The train starts again_.)

HE, (_throwing down his paper_)

The poor beast is hungry.

SHE, (_now very wide awake_)

You think so? Well, I am too. But Toby is to eat very little.

HE, (_anxiously_)

And Kiki-the-Demure?

SHE, (_peremptorily_) Kiki sulks, and he hid this morning, so he'll have even less than Toby.

HE

He isn't making a sound. Aren't you afraid he's sick?

SHE

No, he's simply vexed.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_as soon as there's question of himself_)

Me-ow!

HE, (_tenderly and eagerly_)

Come my beautiful Kiki, my imprisoned one, come. You shall have cold roast-beef and some breast of chicken ...

(_He opens the prison basket and_ KIKI _puts forth his_ _head, flattened on top like that of a serpent; then his long, striped body, cautiously, and so very slowly that one begins to think it's coming out by the yard_.)

TOBY-DOG, (_pleasantly)

Ah, there you are, cat! Well, now, proclaim your freedom!

(KIKI, _without replying, smoothes his ruffled fur_.)

TOBY-DOG

Proclaim your freedom I tell you! It's the custom. Whenever a door is opened one must run, jump, twist oneself into half circles and cry out.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

_One_? Who's one, pray?

TOBY-DOG

We dogs.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_seated and very dignified_)

Would you have me _bark_, too?... We have never followed the same rules of conduct, that I know of.

TOBY-DOG, (_vexed_)

Oh very well, I don't insist. How do you like this carriage?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_sniffing fastidiously_)

It's frightful.--However, the cushions are rather good for one's nails.

(_He suits the action to the word_.)

TOBY-DOG, (_aside_)

Now if _I_ did that ...

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_continuing to scratch the upholstery_)

Hon! May this spongy, gray cloth soothe my rage!... Since morning, the whole universe has been in a state of monstrous revolt. He whom I love, and who venerates me, made not the least effort to defend me. I've submitted to humiliating contacts, been jolted to death, piercing whistles have shot through my head from ear to ear. Ho, ho, how good it is to relax the nerves and to imagine that, with gleeful claws, one tears the enemies' flesh in b.l.o.o.d.y shreds! Ho, ho! S-c-r-a-t-c-h, and lift the paws on high! Lift them high as possible! It's a supremely insolent gesture....

SHE

I say, Kiki, when are you going to stop that?

HE, (_Indulgent and admiring_)

Let him alone. He's doing his nails.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

He has spoken for me. I forgive him. But since it's allowed, I don't care any more about tearing the cushions ... When will I get out of this? Not that I'm afraid; they are both there, and the dog too, with their everyday faces ... I've twinges in my stomach.

(_He yawns. The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries, "Aw-ll a-bor! Aw-ll a-b-o-r-r!!"_)

TOBY-DOG, (_excited_)

Screaming again! Another accident?!--Let's run!...

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Heavens, what a tiresome dog! What does it matter to him, if there _is_ an accident?