Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎ Vol 5 Chapter 3

The Third Question

Under the 76th line of the j.a.panese Const.i.tution ‘The Independence of the Judge’, please fill in the following blanks.

‘All judges shall exercise (________) to (________) execute their (________) and shall be bound only by (________) and the (________) to apprehend criminals.’

Himeji Mizuki’s answer:

‘All judges shall exercise (conscience) to (independently) execute their (authority) and shall be bound only by (Const.i.tution) and the (laws) to apprehend criminals.’

Teacher’s comment:

Well answered. This is one of the rather important articles in the j.a.panese Const.i.tution. As the judge’s exercise the privileges, the const.i.tution can ensure that the judge won’t be instigated by political powers and high-levels of the court and perform the duties independently. The content itself also includes ensuring the personal safety of the judge. I hope you can remember this little knowledge.

Yoshii Akihisa’s answer:

‘All judges shall exercise (BLEEP) to (BLEEP) execute their (BLEEP) and shall be bound only by (BLEEP) and the (BLEEP) to apprehend criminals.’

Teacher’s comment:

In that case, wouldn’t the 76th article be a bad thing?

Tsuchiya Kouta’s answer:

‘All judges shall exercise (instincts) to (take off their clothes and) execute (a strip exercise) and shall be bound only by (the policeman’s hand holding onto the culprit) and the (handcuffs) to apprehend criminals.’

Teacher’s comment:

I DEMAND YOU SEND A LETTER OF APOLOGY TO ALL THE JUDGES WITH FULL SINCERITY!!

The familiar sound of the dismissal bell rang, and it’s finally time for school dismissal.

“Yuuji, can I discuss with you something?”

I asked my bad friend who was ready to pack his bag and go home.

“Hm? Akihisa, what’s the matter?”

“For today, can I stay over at your house tonight? There are a lot of things about homework and the types of questions that are to be tested at the end-of-term tests I want to ask you about.”

—ZAWAASH

The moment I said this, buzzing could be heard in the cla.s.sroom.

“Oi…did you hear that…?”

“I heard that. To think that such an unbelievable thing was said…”

“How could those two possibly…”

“Yeah, how could that Yoshii and Sakamoto…”

““Actually know of end-of-term tests…””

I really want to argue back at them, but I’ll let them off for today. Humph, you guys managed to keep your own lives there.

“You want me to teach you?”

“Un.”

“Really there…haven’t you memorized the multiplication table for 7?”

“Hold on a sec! I don’t remember saying that I’m uneasy over being unable to recite the division table! Even I know how to multiply fractions there!”

“I see. Then tell me what’s the area of a triangle.”

“(Base) X (Height) =

“Okay okay, you got it, Akihisa. Just remember to divide by two to get the correct area of the triangle.”

…

“Fuu, really there…you’re really a genius at being picky in such things, Yuuji.”

“Amazing! This answer is far more than what I even expected!”

Tha, that’s not it! I just answered too quickly and forgot about it. I will definitely be able to answer if there are questions related to the area of a triangle!

“Well, Akihisa-kun….”

Just when Yuuji and I were yapping away, Himeji-san with her hands carrying her bag arrived in front of us. She’s probably intending to go home directly today.

“What is it, Himeji-san?”

“I have to tell you that there’s a trick to memorizing the multiplication table quickly.”

“I can memorize it! Even I can remember that nine times nine equals eighty one!”

Himeji-san really looked worried. Am I really an incorrigible idiot in Himeji-san’s mind? This really shocked me.

“But why did you become so hardworking? If there’s no special reason, I don’t think you would study obediently.”

On hearing Hideyoshi, who’s sitting nearby, say the words ‘special reason’, Himeji-san stared at me in a gloomier fashion.

“No, that’s not it. Didn’t Yuuji announce it to everyone? The ‘summoning system’s data is being reset’ and that ‘we have to attend summer remedial if we don’t do well for the end-of-term tests’. I don’t want to keep carrying a wooden sword and wearing a school uniform until graduation, and I want to enjoy summer vacation as well, so I thought I should work hard.”

“…This isn’t like Akihisa at all.”

“Yeah, I don’t think Aki will start working hard because of such a trivial reason.”

Muttsurini and Minami came over. Why did so many people gather when I said that I want to study?

“Well, Akihisa-kun, if you don’t mind…can I study with you?”

Himeji-san timidly raised her hand to request. Really, Himeji-san’s really a kind-hearted person.

Under normal circ.u.mstances, I would accept this offer gratefully. But today’s situation is different. It’s possible if it’s Yuuji’s house, but—

“I can’t possibly stay overnight at Himeji-san’s house…”

“Eh? Akihisa-kun, you want to stay over at my house?”

“Ah, no, that’s not what I meant…”

“In, in that case, I have to call back home first and tell otou-san not to drink tonight…erm…I’m saying that if Akihisa-kun’s willing to talk about ‘important things’ with him, it will be troublesome when he’s drunk…”

Himeji-san fidgeted and said some things I couldn’t even understand. What important things do I want to say to Himeji-san’s dad—

“Is it about the transfer? I’ll go convince him then!”

Are tatami mats still not enough? If we can have someone get some normal tables and chairs…

“Are you talking about changing of faith? Isn’t Akihisa-kun a Buddhist?”[2]

“Hoh? What is that about?”

“No, well, it’s about how our families have different religions…”

“???”

What the heck? It sounds like both of us aren’t on the same page here.

“Himeji’s thinking pattern is really similar to Akihisa’s.”

“Yeah, this is what it means by taking the color of one’s company.”

“…Way too similar.”

My three bad friends stared at me, seemingly exchanging looks and whispering.

On a side note, there are some terms Minami doesn’t understand, so she has a pile of question marks above her head now.

“Speaking of which, I’ve been wondering about it since this morning. Why do you want to come over to my house, Akihisa? Did something happen at your house?”

“Ah…well, actually…”

“Don’t try and lie to me.”

“I suddenly thought that I need to study—ack, that’s too fast! I didn’t even say anything yet!”

It’s true that that was a lie though.

“Oh well. This will implicate the next summoning battle, so it’s not like I can’t teach you.”

“Eh? Really?”

“But we’re going to your house. It’ll be easier to deal with things there.”

After saying that, Yuuji even looked aside and muttered “because such a mother is in my house…”

That kind of mother? I’ve never met Yuuji’s mother before. What kind of mother is she?

“Eh? My house’s not convenient! It’s a little, well, inconvenient today!”

“Your house is inconvenient today? What’s wrong?”

“A, ah, well, actually, some workers are going to come over to decorate my house.”

“Stop lying. We were supposed to go to your house to play that boxing game. How is it possible that any workers will be here!”

“No, I accidentally lost my key.”

“Your house is an apartment. Just call the caretaker to open it for you.”

“No, actually, my house caught fire!”

“A fire happened and you have the heart to prepare a bento and even iron your clothes thoroughly? How stupid can you get?”

“Ah—erm, actually, what other…!”

“Time to buck up. Your lies are really so bad that I can read through them.”

“Gu…”

I really thought a lot about this, but I just couldn’t think of a reason not to go home. This is bad.

Can’t be helped. In that case, I’ll just go back home and try to fight against my sister…

“I got it. I’ll just go home then…”

I carried my back and got up from my seat. But just when I was about to turn around and leave, Hideyoshi grabbed my shoulder.

“Wait a sec, Akihisa. Is there something you’re hiding from this gang here?”

“Uehh!? No, there’s nothing!”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but if there’s a secret this idiot wants to hide no matter what…looks like it’ll be interesting.”

Yuuji smirked as his eyes narrowed.

“Alright, let’s go check it out!”

“Wa, wait a sec, Yuuji! What are you saying?”

“Yeah. Maybe we can see a completely different side to Aki.”

“I’m interested too.”

“…Time to search the house.”

“Since club activities are suspended during the exams, I guess I’ll come along too.”

THIS IS BAD! WHY IS THE SITUATION BECOMING MORE AND MORE DISADVANTAGEOUS TO ME!!?

“No! You can’t go to my house today! Erm, my house is messy now!”

“Erm, if it’s messy, I can help you clean it up. You can’t concentrate if it’s messy.”

As, as expected of Himeji-san…! Her kindness is just like an angel…!

But if this keeps up, Himeji-san will come over to my house and meet that ridiculously weird sister of mine. What should I do? What should I—that’s right! I’ll just mention something that girls won’t want to touch!

“But the mess I’m talking about is the 2000+ ero books I have at home!”

“…Leave it to me (thumbs up)”

“d.a.m.n it! It ended up piquing Muttsurini’s interest!? This is way different from my initial prediction!”

“Alright. Since everyone has a common understanding, let’s go over to Akihisa’ house!”

“““Ossu!!”””

“NO~!!!!”

I tried my best to resist, but in the end, I was twisted on the neck and dragged back home with everyone. Wha, what should I do now…

“What can it be?”

“Akihisa’s different from Muttsurini in that there’s nothing he would normally hide. Even I would be looking forward to seeing what he has at home.”

“…I don’t hide anything.”

“Muttsurini, are you interested in girls’ underwear?”

“…How could I.”

“I’d say, Muttsurini, you’re so used to lying that you could do it without blinking.”

“…(Shakes head furiously)!”

On the way home, everyone except me seemed to be chatting away happily as they walked.

“But what could it be? Something that Akihisa-kun wants to hide no matter what…”

“That’s right. There’s the huge commotion he caused during the study camp. I don’t think he will be hiding ero-books.”

“Yeah…Akihisa would actually bring his own bento and even iron his clothes properly. I’d guess…”

“Maybe he got a girlfriend?”

“““…!?”””

But Yuuji’s careless words caused everyone present to widen their eyes.

“A, Aki! What’s going on!? Explain clearly!”

“M, muu…so Akihisa found his partner in life…as a friend, I’d be giving my blessings, but I don’t know whether I should be relieved or jealous here…”

“…Traitor!”

“I, I didn’t even say anything!”

Isn’t everyone’s imagination way too creative?

“Everyone, don’t worry. How could Akihisa-kun be dating a girl and hiding it from us? I believe Akihisa-kun.”

Amongst the voices of the 4 people, Himeji-san was the only one who kept her calm. As expected of Himeji-san, she’s really different from the rest.

“Right, Akihisa-kun? You aren’t ‘hiding someone’ and keeping it a secret from us, right?”

Really, she’s different from the rest—Himeji-san’s smile looks really creepy here.

As we continued to argue, our gang arrived in front of the building where I lived in.

“Oh well, the truth will be out once we enter the house. Oi, Akihisa, take out the key.”

“I don’t want to.”

I still tried to resist.

“Akihisa, do you want to try the pain of wearing just a Y-shirt?”

“Eh? Wait a sec! Didn’t you leave out lots of parts in the middle!?”

“…I want to see Akihisa looking up with tears in his eyes.”

“Muttsurini! You’re even designating what the action will be!? Are you trying to sell it!? Make a cushion out of it!? The twin-sided cushion has Hideyoshi on the other side, right!?”

“Why did you get even me involved?”

“Tsuchiya-kun, if possible, I hope that the top two b.u.t.tons of the shirt are opened…”

“EVEN HIMEJI-SAN’S BEEN WEIRD RECENTLY! I GOT IT! I’LL OPEN! I’LL OPEN IT!”

“…b.u.t.tons?”

“THE DOOR!!”

Since it came to this, it’s useless to resist no matter what. In that case, I can only pray silently and hope nee-san’s out…

I secretly prayed to all the G.o.ds in the world and opened the door leading to my house.

“Don’t tell me he really has a girlfriend…”

“I feel really nervous…”

“Don’t worry, it’s definitely not something like that…”

Just when everyone swallowed their saliva and watched me, I opened the door to the corridor.

Nee-san would normally put her shoes in the corridor—they’re gone! Great! She went out!

If nee-san’s not around, I have nothing to worry about. I’ll just let them look around the house and immediately send them out.

“Alright, everyone, come into the house then.”

I called everyone in and opened the door leading to the living room.

The moment I opened the door, what entered my eyes was—

“““…”””

The thing hanging inside the room—was a type of woman’s underwear called a bra.s.siere.

“WHY IS THERE EVIDENCE I CAN’T HIDE NO MATTER WHAT!!”

THAT THING SHOULD BE HUNG INSIDE THE BATHROOM! THAT IDIOT SISTER OF MINE!!

I frantically ran over and threw the washed bra into another room. Did they see it? Did they all see it?

I slowly turned around to check everyone’s response,

“…Well, there’s no evidence that’s more decisive than that.”

“I, I feel the same here…”

“…I’m so jealous that I want to kill you!”

Minami and the rest said their response.

“Eh, ermm, that’s…”

d.a.m.n it…! I can’t even try to mislead them here…!!!

In the midst of despair, I still thought of some method to try and give an excuse.

In the meantime, Himeji-san was the only one who remained calm and she smiled and walked over to me.

“Akihisa-kun, how could you do this?”

“Eh? What?”

“That bra isn’t Akihisa-kun’s size, right?”

“““ISN’T SHE IN SELF-DENIAL HERE!?”””

Eh! Himeji-san, do you think that I’ll wear a girl’s bra? In a certain sense, this is something that disturbs me more than having my sister’s existence discovered!

“Himeji-san, that’s not mine!”

“Arre? That’s—”

Even with such a huge misunderstanding, I tried my best to explain, but Himeji-san’s gaze had already moved to the table in the living room. What is it this time? Ah, that’s the cotton pad nee-san uses for cosmetics—

“That’s fishcake, right?”

“““Fishcake!?”””

As, as expected of Himeji-san! She actually saw the cotton pad as fishcake; she’s living in a completely different dimension from an ordinary person…I’m really wondering what Himeji-san’s dining table will have.

Just when I saw those random things, Himeji-san looked afar. What she saw on the table—wasn’t that a healthy bento women like most!?

“Hi, Himeji-san…? What…? What’s weird about that bento?”

“Sob sob…”

“UEEHH!? Why are you crying out of a sudden?”

“I can’t deny it any further…”

“HOLD ON A SEC! WHY IS IT THAT A BRA AND COSMETICS CAN BE Pa.s.sED OFF BUT A BENTO IS IMMEDIATELY OUT!?”

Don’t tell me a healthy bento women like is a more serious evidence than a bra and cosmetics?

“Haa…since it’s come to this, it can’t be helped…I’ll be honest here. My sister just came back home…”

Since so much was found it, it’s pointless for me to hide anything, so I have to say the truth. It’ll be extremely bad if I continue to try and hide things and cause them to mistake me for having a crossdressing fetish.

After hearing my confession, everyone finally showed a relieved look.

“Tha, that’s right. How could Aki have a girlfriend.”

“…We’re thinking too much.”

“Even I feel relieved.”

Everyone put their hand on their chests and heaved a sigh of relief.

Even though it’s a little late, I’m really wondering why they wouldn’t think that it was nee-san instead of a girlfriend? Did they already have some sort of idea?

“I see. So Akihisa-kun’s nee-san came back. That’s great…”

That’s not good to me at all.

“Well, since things are like that, I made my own bento and ironed my clothes nearly. Do you understand now?”

Alright, now that I explained things here, please leave. I have to make these troublesome people leave before there’s any doubts.

“Wait, Akihisa.”

Ack! The most troublesome idiot seemed to notice something.

“Is, is there something wrong, Yuuji?”

“We knew that you have a sister. But why aren’t you willing to stay at home with your sister here?”

“Ah, that’s right.”

“Even I feel that it’s weird here.”

“…(Nods head).”

“Does Akihisa-kun still have something else he wants to hide from us?”

Yuuji’s doubt caused everyone present to feel suspicious.

Gu…! If I had known that things will end up like this, I shouldn’t have told Yuuji about staying overnight and should have just come home…

“Akihisa, it will be easier for you if you just say the truth, right?”

Yuuji reached his hand out and patted me on the shoulder. Yes, actually, I’m already prepared…

“Actually…my sister here, well…she’s a really weird person… or rather, lacks common sense…anyway, if I’m with her, a lot of terrible things will happen, and I’ll be deducted a lot of points for whatever strange reason, so I don’t want to go home…”

“To, to think that even Aki would say that she lacks common sense. How serious can that be?”

“Muu…even, if it’s scary, even I’m wondering here.”

“…Have to meet her no matter what.”

“Yeah, I want to meet Akihisa-kun’s sister for once.”

So it became like this…this is almost like the worst situation I could imagine.

Just when I was thinking that everyone here was interested in seeing nee-san,

“Ah~ what the heck, I say, your interest in other people’s family affairs is way too weak. Even other people have sisters or ‘mothers’ that they don’t want others to meet.”

That’s rare! It’s rare that Yuuji would actually say something for me. What kind of wind is blowing here?

“Yu, Yuuji…! Thanks—”

GACHANK!

At this moment, the sound of the door at the corridor being opened could be heard.

“Arre…? You came back when nee-san’s out shopping, Aki-kun?”

……Eh? What’s with this timing? Are we having a comedy here!?”

“UWAAAAHHH!! SH, SHE’S BACK! EVERYONE, FIND A PLACE TO HIDE—”

“Is it Akihisa-kun’s sister…? I’m really nervous here…”

“Ca, can I actually say h.e.l.lo to Aki’s sister…”

“NOT GOOD! YOU PEOPLE JUST WANT TO SEE HER!!”

Just as everyone focused on the living room door to see nee-san appear, I could only continue to look up to the heavens and pray.

Since things ended up like this, I have only one last hope left. Nee-san! I won’t demand for you to greet everyone properly…! So at least, just for once, be in normal clothes…!

The tense moment went by immediately, and the door finally opened.

“Oh my, do we have guest? Welcome. Our house is a little small, but I hope that you can treat it as your own house. Please don’t feel restrained.”

Nee-san, who said such a normal thing, was dressed in ¾ pants and a collared short-sleeved shirt with a vest on. That’s a normal kind of get-up if there was one.

“““So, sorry to bother you…”””

The appearance of the ever-normal looking nee-san with a normal attire, demeanor and common sense caused Yuuji and the rest to look completely stumped.

“Sorry for not introducing myself. I’m Yoshii Akira. Everyone, thank you for willing to be friends with this stupid and useless brother of mine.”

She even bowed after saying that. Tha, that’s too perfect! She looks just like a normal sister no matter how I see it! In that case..I should be able to fool them, right?

“Ahh, h.e.l.lo. I’m Sakamoto Yuuji, Akihisa’s cla.s.smate.”

Having recovered, Yuuji hurriedly lowered his head and greeted nee-san.

“…I’m Tsuchiya Kouta.”

Muttsurini spoke up next.

“h.e.l.lo, Yuuji-kun, Kouta-kun.”

Nee-san smiled back at them.

Ahh…such a wonderful scene here…

Just when I was touched by this rare peaceful moment, Yuuji looked over slightly and whispered,

“Oi, Akihisa, your sister looks rather normal here. Calling her weird, how well off can you get? Instead of me, instead of me…”

“Ahaha…she, she’s normal, isn’t it? So if you have seen enough, hurry up and leave!”

Just when I whispered to Yuuji, the other cla.s.smates continued to chat with nee-san. Right now, it seems like it’s Hideyoshi’s turn.

“I’m called Kinos.h.i.ta Hideyoshi. Please take care of me. A lot of people will be mistaken when seeing me, but I’m not a girl—”

“Ehh. You’re a boy, aren’t you? Hideyoshi-kun. Welcome to my house.”

“!”

On hearing those words, Hideyoshi couldn’t help but look completely shocked as he looked up at nee-san.

“You, you’re the first one to actually be able to tell that I’m a guy….!”

I don’t know what’s going on, but Hideyoshi just looked really moved.

“Of course I can tell. That’s because,”

Nee-san smiled as she said,

“That’s because it’s impossible for that stupid and ugly and useless brother of mine to have female friends.”

What’s with that firm belief that really sickens me!

Just when I was wondering how to snark back at her, nee-san’s stare moved to Himeji-san and Minami,

“So these two are guys, right?”

She made such a conclusion.

“WA, WAIT A SEC, NEE-SAN! HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A RUDE THING TO PEOPLE YOU’RE MEETING FOR THE FIRST TIME! THE THREE OF THEM ARE GIRLS!”

“Akihisa! I’m an authentic guy here, right?”

How little common sense does she have to view the three of them as guys…

After shouting that out, nee-san seemed to have a reaction to my words and slowly turned around to look at me.

“…‘Girls’, you say? Has Aki-kun been bringing girls back home?”

GUAAHH!! Da, d.a.m.n it! Nee-san seems to be unhappy that I brought girls back home!

Nee-san already thinks that holding hands is illicit s.e.xual relationships. She’s definitely fuming now! Got to find a good reason!

“We, well, nee-san, listen to me! There’s a lot of reasons—”

“…Really? Girls? Sorry for saying such insensitive things”

“In fact..eh? That’s weird?”

While ignoring me as I tried to explain, nee-san honestly lowered her head at Himeji-san and Minami and didn’t give off any killing intent at all. Is nee-san really not angry here?”

“What’s wrong, Aki-kun?’

“Ah, no…it’s just that I’m wondering whether you’re angry, nee-san…”

“? What are you saying? Why would nee-san be angry at you?”

Nee-san looked really calm and answered as if she had no reason to be angry at all.

Wha, what, am I thinking too much? But this is great…that’s right. It’s just that some friends came over to visit my house. This kind of thing is normal, nee-san has no need to be angry.

Just when I put my hand on my chest and thought that I could heave a sigh of relief, nee-san suddenly smiled and said to me,

“Oh yes, Aki-kun.”

“Nn? What is it?”

“There’re a lot of guests here today, so the doctor game Aki-kun likes to play will have to be delayed till tomorrow, alright?”

Ahhh I see…this person’s really trying to drive me to my grave…

“NE, NEE-SAN, WHAT NONSENSE ARE YOU SAYING! YOU’RE SAYING IT AS IF MY HABIT IS TO PLAY DOCTOR WITH YOU EVERY DAY…CAN YOU STOP SAYING SUCH MISLEADING THINGS! I HAVE NO INTENTION OF PLAYING THAT KIND OF GAMES WITH NEE-SAN!”

d.a.m.n IT! SHE’S DEFINITELY ANGRY NOW! COULDN’T SHE JUST EXERT VIOLENCE ON ME!? WHY MUST SHE TORTURE ME IN SUCH A CRUEL MANNER!? THIS PERSON HERE IS REALLY TOO MUCH!

“A, Akihisa-kun…playing doctor with your own sister…”

“Aki…it’s against the law to do this with your blood-related sister…”

FUUOOOHHH!! SEE, THEY’RE MISTAKEN HERE!!

“NEE-SAN! SCOLD ME LATER AS LONG AS YOU WANT, JUST CORRECT THOSE WORDS!”

“Aki-kun, what are you panicking about? Oh yes. Do you know where’s the nurse uniform nee-san gave you yesterday?”

“DON’T ASK ME SUCH A THING AT THIS MOMENT!”

d.a.m.n IRRITATING! THIS PERSON’S d.a.m.n IRRITATING! IF I HAD KNOWN THAT THINGS WOULD END UP LIKE THIS, I SHOULD HAVE JUST CAMPED OUTSIDE!

“Also, I’m going to deduct you another 150 points under the crime of illicit s.e.xual relationships.”

“150? 150’S TOO MUCH! I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING YET!”

“…‘Didn’t even do anything yet’? …I’ll deduct another 200 points.”

“FUWAAAAHHHH!!!! NEE-SAN’S ONE HUGE IDIOT!”

200 POINTS! WHY DID IT JUST END UP IN A STATE WHERE I CAN’T RECOVER NO MATTER WHETHER I WANT TO!

“…Sorry Akihisa, I’m willing to take back those words I just said.”

“Un…thanks Yuuji…this, this is the first time I actually feel healed by Yuuji ever since I was born…”

I wasn’t able to prepare myself mentally in time because of my sister’s attire and demeanor. I’M BASICALLY GAMBLING WITH MY LIFE FOR ACTUALLY DARING TO BE CARELESS IN FRONT OF THIS PERSON!

“Sorry for being off-topic. Can I ask you for your names?”

“Ah, yes, sorry for not introducing myself. I’m Himeji Mizuki, Akihisa-kun’s cla.s.smate.”

“I’m Shimada Minami, and—”

Minami suddenly glanced at me as she spoke halfway,

“—I’m friends with Aki.”

Mu. Minami just looked like she wanted to say that we aren’t friends. Was she planning to use the introduction she made at cla.s.s and say that I was her wrestling training sandbag?

“So it’s Mizuki-san and Minami-san. Nice to meet you for the first time.”

Nee-san kept her smile and answered them throughout. It’s because she showed herself to be so normal in such situations that people will wonder how real those weird things she said were. Really, she’s a sister that really worries me…

“Oh yeah. Where did you go just now, nee-san?”

“I went to buy ingredients for dinner.”

Nee-san opened the bags she was holding, and there were ingredients like clams and bacon. I see, so nee-san went to buy ingredients for dinner.

“Eh? Didn’t you buy too much here?”

Each ingredient was way too much if it’s for two people. Even a family can’t finish that much.

“Nope, that’s definitely just enough.”

Nee-san seemed to be unhappy with my words and even puffed her cheeks unhappily. It’s rather refreshing when nee-san herself doesn’t really show her real emotions on her face.

Nee-san’s not good at cooking, and actually ran off to buy dinner ingredients, so the amount was mistaken, right? But it isn’t like nee-san to be unhappy over being pointed out.

“It’s rare for everyone to come over to our house. Why don’t you stay behind for dinner? There’s not many dishes we can offer though.”

It seemed that everyone was ready to do so. Nee-san spoke and invited everyone to stay behind for dinner. Looks like she just wouldn’t admit that she bought the wrong amount no matter what.

“In that case, I’ll stay behind too.”

“…I’ll stay for dinner too.”

“It’ll be troublesome for you, but I’d stay for dinner too.”

“Me too.”

“I, in that case, I’ll…”

Everyone nodded their heads. Looks like dinner tonight will be noisy.

“So everyone’s willing to stay behind. That’s great. Aki-kun, I’ll leave the ingredients to you.”

“Yup, got it.”

I took the bag of ingredients over from nee-san. Looks like I can enjoy a luxurious meal I haven’t had for a long time.

“Eh? Aki’s cooking dinner?”

“Yup, that's right.”

“Akihisa-kun knows how to cook?”

Minami and Himeji-san both looked shocked. That’s weird; is it really strange that I can cook?

“Didn’t I say it before at lunch? I prepared my own bento.”

“No, now that you mentioned it, that’s true…”

“Akihisa-kun did mention it before…”

But both of them just gave inexplicable looks.

“This isn’t anything worth being shocked about, right? Even I can cook a few simple dishes here.”

“…That’s a gentleman’s habit.”

“I.., I don’t know…how to cook at all here…”

Yuuji and Muttsurini did show off to everyone before, so they didn’t have much reaction that I can cook.

“Forget about Muttsurini. As expected, you’re forced to learn how to cook at home, right, Yuuji?”

“Oh, that’s right…but what do you mean by saying as expected?”

“Ahaha. Because you look like you have the lowest position at home, Yuuji.”

“? What are you talking about now?”

“Eh? What do you mean—isn’t the one at the lowest position in the family in charge of cooking?”

“““……”””

For some reason, everyone showed me stares of compa.s.sion.

“It’s because of my mom’s education policy that I was forced to cook.”

“Is, is that so…”

“Aki’s mother sounds really strong…”

“I’d feel that the position isn’t the problem, but rather who can cook…”

“Eh!? Don’t tell me everyone else’s different!? d.a.m.ned mom! Lying to me since young!”

I see…so my family’s different from other families…while watching TV when I was young, I would think “Isn’t it weird for mothers to cook? Aren’t mothers supposed to be the strongest people in the families?” I felt that it was weird back then, so that’s how it is…

“Alright alright. It’s still early, but let’s prepare dinner. I’ll help you, Akihisa.”

“…I’ll help too.”

“Ah, yeah, thanks, you two.”

“Then, in that case, I’ll…”

“““NO NEED, THE GIRLS JUST NEED TO SIT QUIETLY AND WAIT!”””

“Ah, haa…I see…”

Thus, we decided to deal with dinner first, and everyone will then study to prepare for the exams.

“Oi, Akihisa, is there a wok that’s of better size?”

“Hehe~, actually, that rack has a paellera on it.”

“When you say paellera, are you talking about the wok used to cook paella? I didn’t think that your house would have something so special. Even my house doesn’t have it.”

“…Mine neither.”

“That’s something my mom gave in the house. What I’m saying is that since our house had such a thing, I used it to cook paella, and it was rather nice. Since then, paella became one of my favorite dishes.”

“So that’s how it is.”

In the kitchen where I was most proud of at home, Yuuji, Muttsurini and me were ready to prepare dinner for tonight.

My house was one that was bought for a family of 4 to live in, so it is rather s.p.a.cious. It’s so s.p.a.cious that I would feel somewhat lonely when living alone, and it’s difficult to clean up. There’s not really much benefit to say…but with three guys in a kitchen, I do feel relieved that the house’s s.p.a.cious enough. However, I do still feel restrained having 3 big boys packed in a kitchen.

“But are you really going to cook paella? I thought your sister would prefer j.a.panese cuisine…”

“…Nee-san said that she’s fine with anything.”

“…These ingredients are obviously meant to cook paella.”

“Yeah. If it’s just prawns and clams, we can still think that it’s spaghetti, but with saffron.”

“Yeah. I can’t think of any dishes that uses saffron other than paella…arre? What’s this bottle of tomato sauce used for?”

Amongst the ingredients nee-san bought, she actually added a bottle of tomato sauce. Is this really an ingredient for cooking paella? I never heard of it before.

“…There’s also paella that’s made from mixed celery, onions, garlic and tomato sauce.”

“Eh? Tomato sauce?”

“(Nods head)… it’s a tomato sauce called soffritto in Italy.”

“Heh~so that’s how it is. I never used tomato sauce when I made it before.”

Muttsurini actually knows about such things. Is there something related to s.e.x in Spanish restaurants for Muttsurini to be this interested?

“Akihisa, don’t tell me you actually did such a troublesome dish like paella so many times.”

“Yup, I like it very much, so I do make it often.”

However, the last time I actually made paella on my own was more than a year ago. I didn’t have enough money to cook something good ever since I started living alone.

“Since you did it so many times, why did she buy some unrelated ingredients? Isn’t this weird?”

“Really? I think it’s my sister who bought the wrong thing. Normally, I would be the one in charge of buying ingredients and cooking.”

“Really? Oh well, maybe she did buy the wrong thing.”

Yuuji was still puzzled about the ingredients, but still agreed with what I said. Does he feel that something’s wrong? There shouldn’t be any problems if it’s just the ingredients, right?

“Oh yeah, Akihisa, I just thought of something.”

“Hm?”

“You didn’t let your sister know what kind of life you lived, right?”

“…You’re rather sharp about it.”

“Anyone sharp enough can tell whether you’ve been well off or not, you idiot.”

Yuuji removed the intestines of the prawns and said to me.

“…Will you be scolded if she knew?”

Muttsurini, who was using the scrub to wash the clams, asked.

“It would be alright if it was just a tantrum.”

I’ll leave those horrifying punishments of being kissed on the lips aside.

“Is there anything else other than throwing a tantrum?”

“Yeah, if I don’t live properly or that I can’t get enough marks during this end-of-term exams, my sister will continue to stay over at home.”

I said that as I sliced up the onion, red peppers, asparagus and stuff and put them into the big bowl.

“Enough marks?”

“It’s just like what my sister said, about deducting 150 or 200 points or so.”

“She did seem to mention it, but I didn’t hear it clearly. What’s about that marks?”

“Besides the marks, I have to get more marks than the previous streaming exam during this end-of-term exams…”

“I see, so that’s why you thought of studying hard. So that’s how it is.”

“…Understood.”

I was only deducted 20 points yesterday, and in a short moment, it became 220. If the situation is better, my recent scores will be about 1000 points…but it will be bad if this keeps up. So no matter what, I have to prevent further loss of points.

“So I just want to say, please don’t say anything in front of my sister, like grades at school, my real living habits…and also, that incident with Minami…”

“That one you’re referring to is the kiss with Shimada—Mm!”

I frantically covered Yuuji’s mouth.

Yuuji’s really a loudmouth. The voice can even reach nee-san in the kitchen!

“That’s really bad too, so you can't say it! Nee-san’s very insistent on forbidding me from having any illicit s.e.xual relationships!”

I kept my volume down, explained it to Yuuji, and slowly took back the hand covering his mouth.

“I see. Since you’re living alone, it’ll be easier for me to disturb you at home, so I’ll just shut up this time.”

“…I’ll help too.”

“Thanks guys.”

After explaining things, they were willing to help me out. Now, we’ll continue our preparations. Let me think, the next step is…

“Yuuji, can you help me get the consommé? It’s about time to boil the soup.”

“Hm? Don’t you intend to cook that soffritto?”

“Nope….I can try it if I’m living alone, but since everyone’s waiting for dinner, I guess we should follow the recipe I’m familiar with.”

“Is that so? Since you say so, let’s do this.”

Yuuji stopped slicing the octopus into slices and took a can of consommé. That Yuuji can really do anything, talking and working at the same time.

“Un, thanks.”

I received the can and opened it, pouring the consommé into the wok Yuuji just heated up by turning on the fire. The saffron will need some time to show more of its color, so it was added in the beginning, and the soup base that’s used to increase the flavor was soon completed. Did we prepare it well beforehand, or is it that they’re skilled with their hands…? I really have to take my hats off of those two.

Let alone Muttsurini, I didn’t expect Yuuji to be good at cooking. Does this guy cook normally? My curiosity started to surge.

“I say, Yuuji, do you cook at home every day?”

“Ahh, no, not everyday. My mother does know how to cook…”

“That’s great, having such a mother.”

“…But if I leave her alone, I really can’t tell what kind of horrible thing she’ll cook…”

Yuuji looked far away. A slight indescribable melancholy surrounded him as if there was a dish served with a mix-up between crayfish and lobster.

“Oh yeah, isn’t it time to put the rice in?”

“Ahh, put it in. Muttsurini and I will prepare the salad and the dessert.”

“…Leave it to me.”

I put the vegetables and rice in, and turned on the fire. I’ll add in the soup once it’s fried somewhat.

“Akihisa, watch the wok when you pour the soup in, or else it will get burned.”

“Don’t worry. I know what to do.”

After a while, it seemed that the color of the food in the wok was almost there, and I poured the soup in. I just need to shake it occasionally and wait for the paella to be done.

Finally, we have nothing to do and can only wait silently. Just when I was staring at the wok and s.p.a.cing out, I suddenly heard Himeji-san and the rest talking. What are those people talking about?

“Do you want to see the photo alb.u.m? These are all photos of Aki-kun when he was young.”

“Eh? Can we?”

“Sounds interesting.”

“Aki’s photos when he was little. How does he look like?”

“I’ll go get it. Please wait for me.”

Uu…my photos when I was young…feels embarra.s.sing…if possible, I really want to stop nee-san, but my eyes can’t leave the wok, and Himeji-san said that she wanted to see it…

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Just when I was thinking randomly, it seemed that nee-san got the photo alb.u.m and came back.

Haa…can’t be helped. I can only grit my teeth and endure so that everyone can pa.s.s the time, no matter how shameful it can be…

“This is Aki-kun’s bathing photo at two-years-old.”

“H, how cute!”

“Muu, I find this expression cute too.”

“Looks so honest, so cute~”

“Next, it’s Aki-kun’s bathing photo when he was four.”

“Ahaha, really, Aki, falling asleep in the middle of a bath.”

“Probably feels nice bathing in warm water.”

“That sleeping face looks so pure.”

“And this is Aki-kun’s bathing photo when he was 7.”

“Should be in elementary school at this point. How memorable.”

“He grew quite a bit.”

“He really grew a lot.”

“And this one’s Aki-kun’s bathing photo when he was 10.”

“WAIT A SEC, NEE-SAN! WHY ARE THESE ALL BATHING PHOTOS OF ME!? WHAT EXACTLY DOES THAT PHOTO ALb.u.m HAVE!?”

I had to watch the wok, so I could only stand in the kitchen and shout at the living room, but didn’t get any response at all. Really, even if these are photos when I was young, why are these all bathing photos—

“—And this is Aki-kun’s bathing photo from yesterday.”

“““…(Gulp)”””

“THAT IDIOT SISTER! WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT PHOTO!? WHEN I WAS CHANGING!? WAS IT WHEN YOU TOOK MY CHANGE OF CLOTHES FOR ME!?”

“Akihisa, didn’t I tell you not to look away from the wok? The rice will burn.”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHETHER THE RICE GET BURNED OR NOT! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO GET A FRYING PAN AND WHACK THAT IDIOT SISTER OF MINE ON THE HEAD!”

“I won’t let you look down on the importance of cooking! Watch the pot!”

“LET GO OF ME! YUUJI! YOU BIG IDIOT!”

No, it’ll definitely be alright. Himeji-san and Minami are different. They’re girls with common sense, wisdom and good decision making ability. They definitely won’t look at those kinds of photos!

—Time pa.s.sed just like that—

“Everyone, sorry to keep you waiting. Dinner’s ready.”

“Thank you. Sorry to make you cook with Aki-kun even though you’re guests.”

“No, please don’t worry about that. I don’t hate cooking.”

We lined another table with the table in the living room, and the dinner that was finally finished was served. Un, it looks really good.

“Than, thank you…(blushes).”

“It, it looks good…(blushes).”

“Himeji-san, Minami, why are you blushing the moment you saw me?

You two didn’t see it right? You two definitely didn’t see the photo nee-san talked about, right?

“Oh yes, Aki-kun, why do you look extremely anxious? You were yelling and shouting, and I could hear you from the living room.”

“THAT’S BECAUSE I HAD TO YELL BECAUSE OF YOU!!”

And she even dared to tell me off when she didn’t mention what she did!

“See, you’ve been shouting again…do you like calcium?”

As she said that, nee-san moved away my plate of paella and put a plate with a deeper base. Hm? What’s with this plate?

“Everyone, put your leftover sh.e.l.ls in this plate.”

“WHAT’S WITH THIS!? DOES MY DINNER ONLY CONSIST OF Sh.e.l.lS? YOU SAY THAT I LACK CALCIUM, BUT THAT’S JUST SIMPLY ABUSE, RIGHT!?”

Such a beautiful relationship called family caused my tears to continue flowing no matter what.

At the same time, I vaguely realized something…

“Nee-san…do you actually, actually hate me, nee-san…?”

Beating me hard the moment she got back home, and showing embarra.s.sing photos of me in front of the girls in cla.s.s. If I combine these facts, I can’t think of anything other than being hated by her.

As she faced my doubts, nee-san gave a ‘you surprised me’ reply, and casually answered.

“Aki-kun, what are you saying, child? How can nee-san hate you?”

If you don’t hate me, the way you treat me is way too much.

“Or rather, on the contrary.”

“Eh? Isn’t the opposite of hate…”

“Nee-san loves you.”

“Is, is that so…”

“Yes, nee-san really loves you.”

I couldn’t help but shy off. I’m happy that nee-san said that, but I’m still somewhat awkward. Saying ‘love you’ in front of everyone is really—

“—As someone of the opposite gender.”

THIS IS THE WORST!!

“WAS THOSE LAST WORDS A JOKE? I’LL BE HAPPIER IF YOU SAID THAT YOU HATED ME!”

THIS PERSON’S DEFINITELY TRYING TO FORCE ME TO MY GRAVE! THAT’S RIGHT! SHE MUST BE THINKING ABOUT THIS! SHE DEFINITELY HATES ME!

“Doesn’t a j.a.panese saying say it?”

“What? What are you trying to say?”

“The dumber the child, the more adorable he is.”

“Akihisa, you better give up. There’s no one else who loves you more in the world than your sister.”

“WAIT A SEC! ARE YOU SAYING THAT I’M THE DUMBEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!?”

“I, I think that Aki’s the dumbest person in the world too!”

“Me, me too! I definitely believe that there’s n.o.body else dumber than Akihisa-kun in this world!”

“DON’T SAY IT! PLEASE STOP HURTING ME!!”

Why is it that everyone wants to trample on my heart mercilessly…

“Oh well, we’ll just leave this alone.”

“It, it doesn’t matter now…such a conversation is only a part and parcel of my life…”

Oh yeah, did Yuuji mean that it doesn’t matter what happens to my life?

“Anyway, let’s tuck in before it gets cold.”

I turned my eyes to the food that was giving off hot air. It’s not that everyone can’t eat whenever they want to, but it’ll be a waste if the food we spent so much effort to cook goes cold. Nee-san’s right. It’s better to tuck in.

“““Itaidakimasu!!”””

Everyone clapped their hands together and attacked the food in front of them.

“Muu, this is really good.”

“Really? It’s great that it fits your taste.”

“Now that you say that, it seemed that our efforts in making this dish is somewhat worth it.”

“…(Nods head).”

Hideyoshi smiled as he ate the paella, and the way he looked was so cute that I really want to take a photo and archive it. On the other hand, Himeji-san and Minami looked lost like they didn’t know what they were tasting.

“Arre? Do you two not like paella?”

“Uu…no, it’s not that we hate it. it’s really good…”

“It’s more like it’s depressing because it’s so good…”

I really couldn’t understand what they were saying. Girls’ feelings are really complicated.

“…As expected, I have to cook more to practice more! I have to make more unique and personal flavors to win this battle!”

I’ll just pretend that I didn’t hear Himeji-san’s muttering.

“It’s really good, but I deliberately bought ingredients different from the menu Aki-kun knew of, yet the flavor’s no different from before. Nee-san’s rather disappointed in that here.”

Nee-san said that as she put the prawn and clam sh.e.l.ls on my plate. She’s probably still angry that I brought girls back if she’s using such an immature manner to bully me.

“Stop yapping over there. You don’t know how to cook at all, nee-san, and you dare to tell me off!”

In fact, before Himeji-san appeared, this person’s number two in the ranking of those who don’t know how to cook. On a side note, my mom’s ranked first.

“Aki-kun, what are you saying? Nee-san’s growing in ways Aki-kun doesn’t know of.”

“Hmph, growth…in what aspect have you grown?”

“My bust size is now E.”

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD SHAME!? THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH COOKING AT ALL!”

I couldn’t help but retort back at my sister who showed her chest proudly.

What should I see? When hearing my sister say this, I would be happy for her but worried about her.

“Of course I worked hard in terms of cooking.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yes, I can finally understand the difference between a sea urchin and a scrub.”

“To me, it’s more amazing that you couldn’t understand the difference between a sea urchin and a scrub…”

For some reason, Yuuji, who was beside me, actually muttered ‘I’m so jealous’ or something like that.

“But speaking of which, it’s amazing that you manage to buy ingredients like red peppers when you’re like that.”

No matter how much I think about this, I just feel that nee-san will mistake red peppers for green peppers.

“I won’t make that mistake. That’s because I handed the list directly to the shopkeeper and asked him to put it into the bag.”

“AND YOU NEED SOMEONE’S HELP IN THE END!”

She didn’t grow at all. No, she wouldn’t even do anything before, and now that she would prepare a list, I suppose it’s some form of improvement…

“Oh yes, I have something I want to ask everyone.”

It seemed that we finally entered the main point as nee-san suddenly said cheerily. What does she want?

“I want to know how’s my stupid brother doing at school, like school grades or ‘illicit s.e.xual relationships’.”

Why must she deliberately emphasize on those last words!?

Ku…! d.a.m.ned despicable…! So she’s been planning this when she invited everyone to stay behind for dinner!

But it doesn’t matter. After that explanation in the kitchen, and the supposedly biggest threats, Yuuji and Muttsurini are standing on my side.

“Well, I find that Akihisa-kun’s very hardworking. It seemed that his grades improved.”

“Tha, that’s right. He would sometimes be so serious that it’s scary.”

As expected of Himeji-san and Minami, they’re different from Yuuji in that they won’t say anything bad in front of the person involved or the family members. They’re really good girls who know how to back off.

“Really? Then, what about illicit s.e.xual relationships?”

“Eh, erm, well, I’m not, too certain about this…regarding Akihisa-kun’s ‘relationships with the opposite gender’.”

“That, that’s right. I’m not too certain about this…regarding Aki’s ‘relationships with the opposite gender’.”

For some reason, both of them seemed to emphasize on the ‘illicit s.e.xual relationships’.

Luckily, Himeji-san and Minami didn’t say anything. in that case, the only one left is—

“Akihisa’s relationships with the opposite gender, huh…”

Only Hideyoshi was left as he used his hand to support his chin.

Hideyoshi probably won’t mention about what happened between Minami and me, right? But…he may say something explosive with a half-joking tone. I have to find some way to prevent Hideyoshi from talking rubbish.

I took my fork and picked up the mushroom on the plate,

“Does Hideyoshi-kun know something?”

“Well…if there’s something.”

“Hideyoshi, ahh-n”

“Nnu? Ahh-n”

I pa.s.sed the fork in my hand to Hideyoshi before he said something ridiculous. On seeing my action, Hideyoshi didn’t show any suspicion and immediately ate the food I fed him. Naturally, he can’t talk when he’s chewing.

If he’s chewing, he shouldn’t open his mouth. That’s why nee-san waited for Hideyoshi to swallow the mushroom and ask,

“Hideyoshi-kun. About that—”

“Hideyoshi, ahh-n”

“Ahh-n”

Chew Chew.

“Hideyoshi-kun. About just now—.”

“Hideyoshi, ahh-n”

“Ahh-n”

Chew chew.

“Hi—”

“Hideyoshi, ahh-n”

“Ahh-n”

Crack.

What is it? It seemed I heard something unnerving.

“UWAHH!! MY JOINT! MY JOINT! MY ELBOW’S TWISTED IN THE OPPOSITE MANNER! IS THIS THE NEXT GENERATION OF HUMANS!?”

“Aki-kun, please don’t bother me. Or else nee-san will do something terrible to you, you know?”

“YOU’VE DONE IT! YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING REALLY CRUEL TO ME!”

“Alright, what’s the situation like, Hideyoshi-kun?”

“Well, about that…”

Ignoring me while I was struggling on the ground in pain, nee-san continued her conversation with Hideyoshi.

“Akihisa himself didn’t mention it, so I don’t think I can say anything.”

Hideyoshi still smiled as nee-san asked him and said an answer to end things. Such an answer doesn’t state what exactly happened, but it does prove that something happened. Besides, Hideyoshi doesn’t know my situation and felt that saying this would be alright. Uu…it’s a grave mistake on my part not to inform Hideyoshi first…

“Arre, so that’s a secret? In that case…I’ll have Aki-kun explain things thoroughly next time.”

“That’s the plan.”

“Nee-san, what do you actually mean by ‘explain things thoroughly’? Normally put, it should be like ‘thoroughly’ or ‘slowly’ explain things!”

I can clearly feel her malice and killing intent from her tone. I think it’s best that I replenish my calcium for the sake of the crisis that was about to occur.

“I’ll just cook fish tomorrow…”

“You’re already thinking of tomorrow’s dishes when we haven’t finished dinner today? You’re really gluttonous, Aki-kun.”

“No, I don’t mean that.”

That’s to prevent my bones from being snapped.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. From tomorrow on, you don’t have to prepare dinner for nee-san.”

“Eh? I don’t have to prepare your share?’

“Yeah, I have some work to deal with. From tomorrow until the weekend, I think I would be going home late.”

The work nee-san’s talking about should be related to helping out at dad’s company. As the head office’s shifted back to j.a.pan, it seems that there’re still some processes to deal with or some deals. I don’t know what kind of company my dad’s running, so I don’t know of the specifics.

Anyway, it’s great that nee-san’s coming home late. In that case, I can get some breathing room from nee-san’s wanton desposition…

“Aki-kun, you look happy.”

“Eh! No, not really, that’s not true. Nee-san came back home and yet has to go home late. I’m really finding it a pity.”

“Say it in English then.”

“Happy.”

“…”

“AH! OUCH! NEE-SAN! DON’T SLAP ME WHEN WE’RE EATING!”

My mouth’s already bleeding inside, and the dessert I ate inadvertently had a slight tinge of blood.

After dinner, we quickly cleared the plates. Everyone was gathered in the living room, and Himeji-san spoke up to say the biggest reason why we’re gathered here.

“Then, isn’t it about time we should study?”

“Yeah. It’s not good to go home too late.”

Maybe it’s because we ate dinner early that it’s now only 7pm. Right now, there’s a lot of time we can use to study. I don’t want to work hard, but this is for my own freedom. I have to force myself to work hard!

“In that case, please teach me about some lesson related questions.”

“…Me too.”

It’s really hard to imagine us as F-cla.s.s members with such serious att.i.tudes. I really want to show Ironman this.

“Yeah. Studying’s not about preparing for exams. Let’s start reading ‘like usual’!”

I held off nee-san’s response to prevent her from guessing.

“Is everyone going to study together? In that case, I have something good here, you know?”

“Something good?”

“Yes. I found it when I was cleaning the house. I’ll bring it over.”

Nee-san walked out of the living room, and the sound of rummaging could be heard. Soon after, ne