Bad Habits Part 73

Charles finally tore his eyes away from his wife to meet Kim's. "Sweetheart."

"Don't do that. I'm not your sweetheart or baby-girl. I'm a stranger to you. Like Mama said, it was your choice. But d.a.m.n it, you owe me. You owe all of us the reason!"

"Kim, don't. We didn't come here for this. We came for Daddy's help," Simone pleaded.

"No!" Kim shook her head hard. "No! No! No! I'm done pretending. Do you hear me?" She glared at her sister and mother. "I'm done, I can't. It's killing me. Pretending that what he did never mattered and pretending that Mama's addiction isn't mine."

"What?" Charles sat forward. "What do you mean your mother's addiction is yours?"

"Oh that's right, Daddy. You don't know, do you? I'm a drug addict. Different drug same story. Oxycodone, heard of it? It's usually used for-"

"I know what it is!" he shouted. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and shut his eyes. "How did this happen? When did this happen? You couldn't be on drugs. Is she?"

"I just got out of rehab. I'm a junkie." Kim said with a snide smirk.

"Kim, stop," Simone said, reaching for her hand. "Not like this."

"Took an overdose around my babies. Wait you don't know that either? I have sons, two of them. And a dead husband, oh and no job. And yes, yes I'm definitely a junkie. Get this!" She started to laugh. She knew he could see the restraint she imposed to keep her tears from dropping. "You're going to love this, Daddy. I'm worse than Mom. She never could hold a job so her problem was just your daughters. But me? I did it at work. Can't step foot back into the hospital after what I've done."

"That's enough, Kim," Diane said.

"Lost my career over it. The man I love. Oops! That's news to you too. See Dennis was the man that I loved, but he's dead. Then I managed to fall in love again, but you know how that goes, Daddy. He left too. Men never stay. Especially when you are as messed up as the Wilson women."

"Why didn't you tell me this was going on?" He looked to Diane.

"Don't look at her!" Kim demanded. "Look at me! ME! You were supposed to be there. You swore you would. To h.e.l.l with this and you. We don't need you. It's too late!" She stood. "Let's go."

"Wait!" Simone pleaded.

"Wait." Charles was to his feet. He took hold of Kim's arms. When she pushed back, he held her, brought her to him. Kim cringed inside. "I'm sorry you were hurt, baby-girl. So sorry. It wasn't because I didn't love you. Never, not a moment or day has pa.s.sed that I haven't loved you."

She shoved him off. "Right, because when you love someone you walk out on them."

"Look at me. Listen to me." She did as he asked. "You're right. Leaving was my fault. Blame me, but hurting yourself has to stop. Is that why you came today? To tell me about the overdose?" He tried again to bring her into his arms.

"Let me go." She s.n.a.t.c.hed free.

Charles sighed. He dropped his hands. "It's time they knew the truth, Di."

"That you're a loser." Diane mumbled. "They already know that, Charles."

Charles smiled at his wife. "You know what I mean."

Simone turned on the seat cushion to address her mother. "You said he left us. You cried yourself to sleep for months. Is there something else, Mama?"

Diane's eyes never lifted from her lap. "He did leave. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d."

"That's not an answer," Simone said.

"I left because I had to. I got caught up. I had to make a choice, a bad choice. A choice I couldn't undo, though I wanted to. Many times over the years I wanted to."

"What does that mean?" Kim threw her hands upward. "We're grown women now, Daddy, with problems of our own. We can handle yours. h.e.l.l we lived with Mama's."

Charles looked to his wife again. As if the telling of the story was theirs and not his alone. This only infuriated Kim more. Even when Diane was sober she was consistent on one thing, her pain over his abandonment. If it were anything different surely her mother would have said something after all these years. Kim watched them both. She and Simone waited through the tension until their father finally spoke again.

"The job, the sanitation company I worked for was run by some bad people. People that I never wanted around any of you."

"The sanitation department is run by the city of New York." Kim corrected him. "Who was the boogieman? Mayor Koch?" Kim waved his answer off.

"Yes it was. I mean is. But the union subsidized for certain jobs, off the books. It was the eighties, baby. We were in a recession. Things were tight for everyone." He looked over again to Diane. "We needed the money. Your mother wasn't well after you were born, Kim, but she got worst after Simone was born. Her depression, her medication, the alcohol. I was juggling it all and it was killing me."

Diane finally looked up and met his stare. It was Charles's turn to look away. "So I did things to make sure we had what we needed. There's always a price to be paid. Nothing in life comes easy, at least not for us." Charles shook his head. "My choices. Things went down. I was in the middle. They threatened my girls, all three of you. I had the choice between a bullet to the head or doing what they said and protecting you. So I protected you. I did everything to protect you, and that meant I couldn't be there. I know that's hard to understand but it's what had to be done. Right, Di?"

"Whateva," Diane shrugged.

"You broke Mama's heart. You broke all of our hearts because your life was in danger? That makes no sense," Simone said, looking between her parents.

"That's not what he's saying, Kitt." Kim stepped toward him. She looked her father up and down. "He chose to work for these people or with them if they kept away from us. He didn't do it to save his life. He sure as h.e.l.l didn't do it to protect us. He did it for this. All of this." Kim looked around. "Isn't that it? You did it to become the Charles Wilson."

"I took care of you. I made sure you had what you needed," her father said.

"We needed you!" Kim shouted at him. "Mama's sick. She was sick, and she never stopped loving you. Never stopped reminding us how you left us. You think she handled it well? That we were better off? No calls? No nothing?"

"There's a lot more to it, Kim," Diane sighed.

"It doesn't matter!"

"Hush now!" Diane snapped. "It does. I'm sorry, baby, but it does. That night you said he put you to bed and went away. That was the night people came to the house with guns. Italians. They nearly killed him in front of me. They took him away." Diane looked at Charles. "I didn't know what happened to him for weeks and I couldn't call the police. I couldn't do anything. And when he did come back..."

"Wait, came back?" Simone interjected.

"He said it wasn't safe for us, but he found a way. Leave New York, and run with him. Maybe come back some day. I dunno. I was angry. The alcohol it always makes it worse. I told him no. He said he wouldn't leave without us. That's what he said then."

"Then?" Kim frowned.

Diane shook her head. "I made it worse. I wouldn't let him take you. He couldn't trust me to do what he wanted and I couldn't trust him not to hurt us again, lie to us again." Diane gave her daughters a pained look. "He sent money. He kept promising to make it right. He didn't! Two years later, I find out he had another woman, probably had her all along. Dirty b.a.s.t.a.r.d."

"That's not what she was, Di. Not like that. You twisted things in your head because of the booze."

"To h.e.l.l with you! It's the truth. You were with her and I was left to try to take care of my babies."

"I made sure you had money," Charles said.

"You were my husband! Mine! Their father! You said you would fix it. You just started over without us."

"I tried," Charles said.

"Bulls.h.i.t!"

"It got mixed up, and things were hard with you, baby. I was weak. Okay? But I came back for you. I tried."

Diane glared at him. "Sure you did. But it was too late." She looked to Kim. "I wasn't gonna let him just walk back in after all the s.h.i.t he put us through. No f.u.c.king way. I told him to go straight to h.e.l.l. I told him to stay away. I told him that I would call the police and tell them about the Italians. I told him that I hated him. That you hated him, and that you hated him, Kitt. Because it was the truth. I'm sorry, but I told him that he didn't have a family anymore."

Charles looked to Kim. "It's not your mother's fault. I made my choices. She was right to send me away."

Kim shook her head in defeat. "No wonder we're all so screwed up."

Simone sighed. "We didn't come here for this. I'm sick to death of this. I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's done."

"Why did you come?" He looked back over to Kim. "After Jamie told me that your husband died, I wanted to reach out to you, Kim. I wasn't sure how."

"I'm glad you didn't," Kim mumbled.

"A lot has happened, Daddy. A lot." Simone said. "My husband. He's-"

Charles stared at his daughter. He looked to his wife, then her, and then to Kim. "Would somebody tell me what's going on?"

"Her husband is a lying, cheating bastid that abuses her physically and emotionally. He's taken Kim's house, and now he's threatening to take her sons. You a bada.s.s m.u.t.h.af.u.c.ka with the mob. What you gone do about it?" Diane asked.

"Matt! Matt! You have a visitor!"

Mathew could hear Marlene call from downstairs. He wiped his eyes. Afternoon naps were a new habit he needed to shake. But the waiting game for the board to convene and give him his life had left him with so little to fill his days. His sister was right. He was a doctor and he would always be.

"Yeah! I hear you! In a minute!" he shouted back.

He had a visitor? Everyone in Charleston had made their run past the house to either hit him up for a loan or pick at his frayed nerves to gather fodder for small town gossip. It was tiring. Rising, he grabbed his shirt from the back of the chair and hurried down the stairs, two at a time. But he nearly stumbled on the last when his visitor turned to greet him.

"Barbara? What are you doing here?"

She smiled. Her face was radiant and her mossy green eyes the same shade as her tailored suit. With the toss of her red locks, her faint floral scent carried. Its allure was fully reminiscent of high school, and f.u.c.king in the back of her uncle Rick's truck. Prom night, fights over college choices, when to marry, to have kids, fights over moving out of Charleston. Memories poured through him, rendering him silent, still. He had no need to be reminded of her and the marriage he wished he'd never wasted a breath on. Barbara, however, seemed to relish the pause and read more into his state. She licked her glossy petal pink lips and stepped toward him. "h.e.l.lo, Mathew."

Marlene wiped her hands on her ap.r.o.n. She looked from her brother to her ex-sister in-law with worry. "Anyone want some tea? I just cooled some in the fridge."

"We're fine, Marlene. Let's step outside to talk."

Barbara smiled and followed. He hadn't seen her since the divorce. He had no desire to see her ever again.

"Why did you come here?" Mathew asked.

"I was in town, heard you were too, so I decided to stop by."

"You took out a restraining order on me, remember?"

"I dropped that long ago, remember?" Barbara chuckled.

"I haven't forgotten. As far as I'm concerned, it still stands. I want you to go," Mathew said, giving a nod to her car and the road.

"I saw Heath," she said.

Mathew frowned.

"You're in trouble again?" Barbara asked.

"What of it?"

"Matt?"

"Are you kidding? You used Elaine and that kid's death to get your pound of flesh, now you're here for more?"

She sighed. "This thing with you and Elaine will haunt you forever. She was the monster that killed that poor girl. Not you. I'm sorry about how I handled the divorce back then. I guess I was a monster too."

"Oh, darlin', I can give a s.h.i.t. Really," Mathew chuckled.

"This thing with us keeps you bitter."

Mathew laughed in her face. "Don't flatter yourself. Elaine Harris is in prison where she belongs. And, sweetheart, you were out of my system before the ink dried. It was a long time ago."

"Maybe," she conceded. "Maybe not. You are angry with me and I get that. I deserve that. I treated you badly." She looked out to the land surrounding his family home. "Growing up in Charleston, getting married here, just living here made me feel like I was suffocating. But as soon as I was free, all I could think of was this place. Of what I threw away with you." Her gaze slipped back over to him. "I made some bad choices because I was too blinded by my ambition to see what a special man you were, are. I had hoped to hear that you found someone else, Matt. Someone to love. But now I hear you're back where I left you. I had to come see you. I needed closure."

"Un-f.u.c.kin-believable," Mathew chuckled. "You still think the universe revolves around you."

"That's not what I meant," she said.

"My choices have nothing to do with you," Mathew sighed.

"Are you sure about that? New York City is a long way from Charleston to find a woman like me, or like Elaine." Barbara stepped closer. "How can someone as smart, giving, and loving as you keep losing your way?"

Mathew shook his head. "Here's the deal. I did meet someone, and I love her. Now it's over. What we had and what we didn't have was never about you or Elaine. And what happened in New York is none of your d.a.m.n business." He glared at his ex-wife. "I admit I've wanted broken, needy women and women that made me feel needed. But remember, that was never you."

"True," Barbara chuckled.

"Good, then we agree. I don't need a healing or any ego stroking, Barbara. I just need you to head back to that fancy life of yours and forget you were ever in mine."

"And your medical license? My firm could help," she offered.

"It's my business."

"Still stubborn."

Mathew nodded.

"I had to come." She touched his arm, briefly. "I don't know. I just needed to see you again. I needed to be able to say I'm sorry and for you to believe me. My life is filled with a lot of things, but empty too. I learned the difference when I left you." Her hand lifted to his cheek. "Don't you let them b.a.s.t.a.r.ds take your license, okay?"

She turned to start off the porch and stopped to put on her designer sungla.s.ses. "If you love her, then why are you hiding out here? If she's not like Elaine, and me, which I doubt since she let you slip away, why the retreat?"

"Again, it's my business."