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"I was out celebrating because I'm going to be a father. You all ruined the night. Thanks."
Oh.
G.o.d.
No.
The remote slipped from Jolene's hand. She whipped around to stare at me, grabbing the alcohol bottle from the bed. She downed both.
"He's..." She covered her face. "You're..."
I wasn't about to explain the how or why. I couldn't, especially now that our little secret had given us something better than whatever relationship we constructed for his reputation.
I nodded and looked down. "It's...still early."
"You've been sick for two weeks." Her words trailed off. "Oh, Leah. How could this happen?"
"It's okay."
"You had your life planned."
"Really, it's okay. We can handle it."
"You can." She pointed to the television. "This man can't. Do you have any idea how this is going to look?"
"He's thrilled about the baby, Jolene."
"He's a c.o.c.ky son of a b.i.t.c.h who only cares about himself. And he's gotten you in trouble."
"That's not true. He's very attentive and caring and he's so excited-"
"That's because you still look like a twig. For Christ's sake, Jack Carson is known for wild parties with multiple women, not to mention the alcohol and fights. He's not a man who settles down. You know this. He's a playboy. He's a womanizer."
"He's not that bad. He's very sweet and charming and he-"
"And he's our biggest client. The state representatives and Hollywood producers downstairs won't think we're a reputable agency if my a.s.sistant is getting knocked up by our other clients!"
"Jolene-"
"h.e.l.l, maybe they'll think it's a perk! Who else are you willing to sleep with to get business?"
"Jolene!"
She exhaled, apologizing with a shake of her head. "Leah, this...this is too much. Are you marrying this man?"
My stomach heaved. "I...no."
"Why not?"
It wasn't part of the deal. "Why should we?"
"Because you're having his child. You're the baggage of a public figure. You're..." She hesitated. "You were the future of this company. I trusted you to be rational and responsible; someone to partner with me once you learned your way. I can't have my a.s.sistant sleeping with clients and getting pregnant."
"I can manage it all."
"No, you can't. You deal with PR problems like this every day. We can't spin this. It looks bad for our agency."
"It won't be a problem."
"It already is. I'd hoped we could contain Jack while this fling pa.s.sed, but we can't. Leah, I need you to either marry this man and make it right or end it with him to let the impropriety pa.s.s."
I blinked. I didn't like either option. "I...I'm not marrying him. And we're not breaking up. I mean...things are..."
Better than ever.
Like a real relationship.
Building to something neither of us expected.
The thought of not going to bed with Jack at night, not having his touch on my skin, not hearing those gentle words when he praised me for carrying his baby?
It broke a heart I never meant to give to Jack.
Jolene sensed it. She nodded, turning off the television as the live cast ended and shifted to an ecstatic Ainsley Ruport listing all of Jack's current controversies and issues.
Jolene lowered her voice. She couldn't look at me.
"I have to let you go then, Leah."
"...What?"
"I'm sorry."
A long moment pa.s.sed where I didn't understand what happened.
Let me go?
I couldn't respond. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up. Jolene spoke to me from the doorway, but I didn't hear much. She offered to expense my flight back to Ironfield and said she'd mail my things from the office.
The door closed.
My stomach heaved until I had nothing left inside me but the baby.
She left, and I collapsed on the bed. Tears stung my eyes. I silenced the call from Jack. The phone buzzed and buzzed until I shut it off.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
First Wyatt broke off the engagement, and I lost a full year mourning a man I didn't love. I finally had an opportunity to secure the career I needed, and now?
Gone.
Ruined.
I had no marriage. No job.
And a baby on the way.
My life unraveled string by string until I tangled myself in my own expectations and misery. I didn't bother making the arrangements through Jolene's office. I took my suitcase and called for a cab myself. It was a lonely ride, but I managed to buy a plane ticket on the way. The cost made me cry. I depleted some of my savings for a flight that wasn't direct, had a three hour layover, and trapped me against the window and nowhere near the bathroom.
Humility was about as bitter as morning sickness.
I didn't sleep on the first flight. The second was delayed. I spent most of the layover sick and exhausted. I just wanted to curl in a bed and rest.
But not just any bed.
Jack's bed.
And I wanted him there. Holding me. Kissing me. Comforting me.
But I couldn't expect it from that d.a.m.n playboy. He wasn't my boyfriend, and I had no idea if I could depend on him as a friend. He owed me one h.e.l.l of an explanation.
And if he wanted to be a part of the baby's life, he owed me more than that.
Like an apology. A pledge that I could trust him. Some reason that I should let the baby near the fiend once he or she was born.
We landed before daybreak. I took a taxi directly to Jack's house, suffering even more as I calculated what I had in savings for rent, food, and now...
Baby supplies. Doctor's appointments.
Everything.
Jack opened the door before I knocked. He hadn't slept, and he looked as sick as me.
"Christ, Kiss. I was terrified! I thought something happened to you!"
Jack tried to hug me. I stopped him with a raised palm.
He took the hint, but he grabbed my luggage and tossed it inside. Then he nearly carried me to the couch. Tears p.r.i.c.kled my eyes as he knelt at my feet.
I couldn't tug my hands away. He kissed my fingers and dared to apologize.
"The fight wasn't my fault. I just went out for an hour. It wasn't..." His voice faded as he wiped a tear from my cheek I hadn't meant to shed. "I wasn't meeting women. It wasn't a party."
"The report said you smelled like beer."
"It spilled on me. I tried to break up the fight."
I pointed to his black-eye. "You did a terrible job."
"It was an accident. No charges filed. No problem. Everything worked out."
"...You told the world I was pregnant."
He nodded. "I wasn't thinking. But it's okay. It worked. I already talked to Coach Thompson. He..."
Cut him? Fined him? Benched him?
"He congratulated me."
That wasn't happy news. I hated the thought that it was all a PR stunt.
Jack met my gaze. "And the headline? A couple of papers are leading with the pregnancy, saying we were out celebrating when some other guy caused trouble." He grinned. "For once, I wasn't the guy starting trouble! We did it, Kiss. It's okay."
I needed to throw up. I forced myself to stay still.
"Jolene fired me tonight."
Jack's grin turned to a scowl, as though Jolene were the one who sucker-punched him. "f.u.c.k. Why the h.e.l.l would she fire you?"
"It didn't look good for the future partner of her agency to be impregnated by her main client."
"What?"
"She thought it'd either look like I was irresponsible, or like I'd sleep with anyone to get their business."
"That's not fair."
"No." My voice hardened. "It's not fair. This is your fault, Jack. I had a plan to announce the pregnancy. A plan you ruined. You shouted it to anyone who would listen to get yourself out of jail."
"Not true."
"You're out of control, Jack." I pushed away from him. "You used the baby to get out of trouble."
He held his arms out. "That was the reason we had it."
Oh, G.o.d.
I didn't think anything could hurt worse than the humiliation of getting fired.
This was agony.
Was I that big of an idiot?
"That was a bad reason to have a baby." I couldn't scream, couldn't yell. I just fell numb and exhausted and into a state of sheer disbelief. "I love this baby, Jack. I want him! I want to raise a child and be a mother and experience that joy."
"You don't think I want to be a father?"
I shook my head. "You want whatever benefits you. So you can do as you like without any consequence. I can't save you, Jack. Nothing we do, no stories we leak, nothing will ever help you shed this selfish image. It's not PR that hurts you. It's yourself."