Analyzing Character Part 42

Because man has lacked accurate knowledge about the world around him, he has been the credulous victim of countless generations of swindlers, fakers, fortune-tellers, mountebanks, and others experienced in chicanery.

Speculators used to consult clairvoyants, crystal gazers, astrologists and card-readers for a forecast of business conditions. To-day, through accurate knowledge based upon statistics relative to fundamental factors in the business situation, they forecast the future with remarkable accuracy.

The practice of medicine was once a combination of superst.i.tion, incantation, ignorance and chicanery. In those days people were swept into eternity by the millions on account of plague, cholera, and other pestilences. To-day medical practice is based upon knowledge, and people who are willing to order their lives in accordance with that knowledge not only recover from their illnesses, but are scarcely ever ill. The ignorant man pays $1.00 for a small bottle of colored alcohol and water which some mountebank has convinced him is a panacea for all ills. In his blindness he hopes to drink health out of that bottle. The man who knows eats moderately, drinks moderately--if at all--smokes moderately--if at all--does work for which he is fitted and in which he can be happy, secures recreation and exercise according to his own particular needs, and almost never thinks of medicine. Should he need treatment, however, he goes to a man who has scientific knowledge of diagnosis and materia medica. The first man, in all likelihood, goes to an early grave, "stricken down by the hand of a mysterious Providence." The second man lives to a ripe old age and enjoys life more at eighty than he did at eight or eighteen.

Fifty years ago, mothers relied upon tradition and maternal instinct in the care of their babies. More than one-half of all the babies born died before they were five years old. The wise mother of to-day knows what she is doing, and, as a result, infant mortality amongst the babies in her hands becomes an almost negligible quant.i.ty.

NEGLECT YIELDS TO SCIENCE

Because we did not know how to take care of them, we neglected our forests until they became well nigh extinct. To-day, by means of the science of forestry, we are slowly winning back the priceless heritage we almost threw away. Because of our ignorance, we neglected the by-products of our fields, our mines, and our industries, and no one can compute the fortunes we lost. Through scientific knowledge, we have begun to utilize these by-products. Some of the greatest of modern industries, and the fortunes which have grown out of them, are the result.

Selling and advertising used to be done partly by tradition and partly by instinct, so called. To-day, while they have, perhaps, not been reduced to exact sciences, they are based more and more upon exact knowledge, so that merchandizing has become less and less a gamble and more and more a satisfaction.

Since, through scientific knowledge, man has wrought such miracles in agriculture, construction, education, commerce, industry, finance, medicine, war, mining, and practically all of his other activities, it is time he applied the same scientific methods to that without which all these wonderful things would never have been executed, namely, his mind and soul.

SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE OF SELF

In Part One of this book we have attempted to show the benefits which follow upon self-knowledge as to vocation. But this is only one phase, after all, of your life and activity. Obedience to the injunction, "know thyself," will help, also, to solve many of the hard problems you meet in education, social life, religion, morality, and family relations. The man who, through character a.n.a.lysis, has a scientific knowledge of himself, has therein a valuable guide to self-development and self-improvement. He knows which qualities to cultivate and which to restrain. He knows what situations and a.s.sociations to avoid so that his frailties and weaknesses will handicap him as little as possible.

SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE IN EMPLOYMENT

In Part Two we have shown briefly the application of knowledge of human nature to the selection, a.s.signment and management of employees. In common with so many other important matters, this has been left in the past very largely to superst.i.tious traditions, guesswork, random, hit-or-miss methods, chicanery, and so-called intuition. Now, for the sake of his profits, and also for the sake of the fellow human beings with whom he deals, the wise employer is seeking for and, in many cases, using exact knowledge.

SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE IN PERSUASION

In Part Three we have referred to the use of character a.n.a.lysis in persuasion. Without this knowledge, it is the most natural thing in the world for the man who seeks to persuade others to present to them the arguments and suggestions which would appeal to him. Long ago some wise man said: "If you would persuade another, put yourself in his place; look at the matter through his eyes." 'Twas easier said than done. You cannot put yourself in another's place or see things from his point of view unless you know him accurately, which is possible only through the science of character a.n.a.lysis. We have often found people who have lived together for a lifetime who neither knew nor understood each other.

SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE IN SOCIAL RELATIONS

Man's fundamental needs are food, drink, clothing, shelter, work, companionship, and rest. If one of man's fundamental needs is companionship, then he needs to know how to be successful socially. Most people deeply feel this need. One of the most frequent questions we are called upon to answer is: "How can I be a greater social success?" Social success depends upon personal attractiveness in the broadest sense of that term and upon a desire to make the most of that attractiveness. Many people have great social ambitions but, for some reason or other, are so unattractive that they are social failures. There are others who have pleasant personalities but who, because of other interests, neglect their social opportunities.

Personal attractiveness depends, first, upon the development of those elements which are pleasing to others, such as intelligence, judgment, reason, memory, sympathy, kindliness, courtesy, tactfulness, refinement, a sense of humor, decision, adaptability, self-confidence, proper personal pride, dignity, and perhaps others; second, upon a knowledge of each individual with whom one comes in contact, so that one knows best how to gain that person's favorable attention, to arouse his interest, and to give him pleasure.

Many people are shy, diffident, self-conscious, and painfully embara.s.sed in the presence of strangers. They feel these deficiencies keenly. They long, perhaps with an intensity which the naturally self-possessed person will never know, for that social ease which they so greatly admire. Their self-consciousness, diffidence and timidity in the presence of others is very largely the result, first, of a lack of knowledge of themselves and how to make the most of their own good qualities socially; second, of a lack of knowledge of other people. It is a human trait deeply ingrained and going back to the very beginning of life to be afraid of that which we do not understand. Courage, self-confidence, and self-possession always come with complete understanding. Therefore, these timid, bashful ones may find, and many of them have found, greater social ease through a knowledge of themselves and of others, gained through a study of character a.n.a.lysis.

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

We shall probably not be disputed when we state that, aside from religion, at least, the most momentous problem in the life of every man and woman is that of love and marriage.

Says Edward Carpenter: "That there should exist one other person in the world toward whom all openness of interchange should establish itself, from whom there should be no concealment; whose body should be as dear to one, in every part, as one's own; with whom there should be no sense of Mine or Thine, in property or possession; into whose mind one's thoughts should naturally flow, as it were, to know themselves and to receive a new illumination; and between whom and one's self there should be a spontaneous rebound of sympathy in all the joys and sorrows and experiences of life; such is, perhaps, one of the dearest wishes of the soul. For such a union Love must lay the foundation, but patience and gentle consideration and self-control must work unremittingly to perfect the structure. At length, each lover comes to know the complexion of the other's mind; the wants, bodily and mental; the needs; the regrets; the satisfactions of the other, almost as his or her own--and without prejudice in favor of self rather than in favor of the other; above all, both parties come to know, in course of time, and after, perhaps, some doubts and trials, that the great want, the great need, which holds them together is not going to fade away into thin air, but is going to become stronger and more indefeasible as the years go on. There falls a sweet, an irresistible trust over their relation to each other, which consecrates, as it were, the double life, making both feel that nothing can now divide; and robbing each of all desire to remain when death has, indeed (or at least in outer semblance) removed the other.

"So perfect and gracious a union--even if not always realized--is still, I say, the bona fide desire of most of those who have ever thought about such matters."

A HEAVEN ON EARTH

In such a union as the author quoted has here described men and women find life's deepest and truest joys and satisfactions. In it there is solace for every sorrow, balm for every wound, renewal of life for every weariness, comfort for every affliction, a multiplication of every joy, a doubling of every triumph, encouragement for every fond ambition, and an inspiration for every struggle. Those who are thus mated and married have found a true heaven on earth. But such a mating and such a marriage is not, as many fondly suppose, based solely upon the incident of "falling in love." If we have no other advice to give the young man or the young woman than that which has so often been given, "let your heart decide," we have, indeed, little to offer.

MARRIAGE A PRACTICAL PARTNERSHIP

The marriage relationship is not wholly, or even chiefly, a romantic and ethereal social union far above and unaffected by material and practical considerations. While this spiritual union is an essential part of every true marriage, it cannot exist unless there is also a true union upon intellectual and physical planes. Marriage is, in one sense, a business partnership. In another sense, it is an intellectual companionship, and in still another sense, it is a friendly, social relationship.

A man and a woman are, therefore, mated in the true sense of the word, not alone by a mysterious and intangible spiritual ident.i.ty, but by mutual beliefs, mutual ideas and ideals, mutual or harmonious tastes, mutual physical attractiveness, and mutual respect and admiration each for the other's talents, disposition, apt.i.tudes, and character in general. One of the reasons why there are so many unhappy marriages is because a blind instinct, which may be purely physical or purely intellectual or purely psychical, which may be a mere pa.s.sing fancy, which oftentimes is based upon the flimsiest and shallowest possible knowledge of each other's characteristics, is mistaken for love. Many marriages, of course, are consummated without even the existence of an imagined love--marriages for convenience, marriages because of pique, marriages arranged by parents or others. When such a marriage is a happy one, it is, indeed, by virtue of great good fortune, a happy accident.

KNOWLEDGE THE BASIS OF CHOICE

Since a true marriage, therefore, must encircle with its golden band and harmonize all of the psychical, intellectual and physical qualities, activities and interests of two people, it follows that it must be based upon knowledge as well as intuition. He who would choose a mate must, first of all, understand himself, so that he may know what qualities will be most agreeable to him. This may seem unnecessary, but, unfortunately, it is not. Any man who will compare his youthful tastes and judgment in regard to women with his mature inclinations will see the truth.

Second, he ought to know before he reaches the point of falling in love, the disposition and character of those to whom his fancy turns. When propinquity and mere physical attraction have aroused the emotions of a young couple, the ardor of their excitement so obscures observation and judgment that any careful a.n.a.lysis of each other's characteristics is impossible. Even if such an a.n.a.lysis were possible, one could not be intelligently made by a mere observation of behavior and conversation, even under the most advantageous circ.u.mstances. As a general rule, young people a.s.sociate together in their "company clothes and company manners."

Every possible endeavor is made to show forth that which is considered to be most desirable and to conceal, so far as possible, that which may be undesirable. Even traits and tendencies which do manifest themselves do so under disguise, as it were, and their full seriousness is not recognized.

In fact, many a young man and young woman have found the very characteristics which appeared most charming in a lover or sweetheart the ugly rock upon which marital happiness was wrecked.

"CHARMS" WHICH PROVE DEADLY

For example, many girls admire rather fast young men. But few wives find happiness with drunken, gambling, unfaithful husbands. Many young women experience a delightful thrill of interest in the young man who is inclined to be somewhat authoritative. But few wives submit with pleasure to the exactions of a domineering husband. Some young women find a gay, careless irresponsibility charming in a lover but bitterly resent having to shoulder all the burdens of financing and maintaining a home.

In a similar way, some men admire dimpled, pouting girls, but they cordially detest whimpering, whining wives. Most men are flattered by an air of helpless dependence in a sweetheart, but they soon grow tired of a wife who cannot think and act for herself and who is, perhaps, an imaginary or real invalid.

These characteristics in both men and women may be mere affectations and mannerisms, a.s.sumed for the purpose of imagined allurement and charm. Or they may be bedded deep in the character. Only a scientific knowledge of human nature will reveal the truth.

KNOWLEDGE IN MARITAL RELATIONS

No matter how truly mated a man and woman may be, life-long happiness in the marriage relation depends upon mutual understanding. Many a n.o.ble ship of matrimony has been wrecked hopelessly upon the jagged rocks of misunderstanding. Character a.n.a.lysis opens the eyes, reveals tendencies and motives and offers true knowledge as a guide to the making of one's self truly lovable, and the finding and bringing out in the other of lovable qualities.

An intelligent woman of thirty once said to us: "I could never get along with my father. As soon as I began to have a mind of my own, he and I clashed, notwithstanding the fact that I loved him and he idolized me.

After I had married and left home, my love for him frequently drew me back under his roof for a visit. But before I had been there a week we had somehow managed to have a bitter quarrel and separated in anger. After I learned to apply the principles of character a.n.a.lysis, I returned home on a visit and the first thing I did was to a.n.a.lyze father. For the first time in my life I understood him. Since that time we have never clashed, and my visits with him are a great joy to me as well as to him."

We have in our files a sheaf of letters from both men and women telling of the regaining of a lost paradise through mutual knowledge and mutual understanding.

THE SCIENCE OF CHARACTER a.n.a.lYSIS NOT A CURE-ALL

We do not offer the science of character a.n.a.lysis as a panacea. We have already emphasized the fact that mere knowledge of one's true vocation is not enough for an unqualified success in it. We do not believe that character a.n.a.lysis alone will solve the age-long problem of capital and labor, nor do we hold forth the promise that a scientific knowledge of human nature will enable every individual who obtains it to be uniformly successful in selling, advertising, public speaking legal practice, and other forms of persuasion. The serious and intricate puzzles of social life will find no golden key which unlocks them all in the science of character a.n.a.lysis. The supreme problems of love, marriage, marital relations, divorce, and family life are far beyond the limited scope of character a.n.a.lysis for their complete solution. Human life; human efficiency; human mental, moral, and physical development; human civilization in all of its aspects, are a matter of slow evolution, with many a slip backward. He is either self-deceived or a charlatan who claims to have found that which will enable the race to arrive at perfection in a single bound.

On the other hand, just so far as even one spark of true knowledge is a light on the way, to the degree in which one little adjustment helps men to harmonize with nature and her eternal forces, and in the measure in which one solid step adds to the causeway which man is building out of the mire of ignorance to the heights of wisdom--in so much is the science of character a.n.a.lysis an aid to man and his striving toward perfection and happiness.

THE END