Analyzing Character Part 36

"I want it," said a gentleman to us, speaking of a piece of property in which he was contemplating investment. "I want it so bad that I can't think of much else. I lie awake nights dreaming of myself in possession of it, and yet, somehow or other, I can't make up my mind to buy it. I have the money and have had the money in the bank for weeks. There is nothing else I want to do with that money half as much as I want to buy that property, but it is an important move and, somehow or other, I just can't make the plunge."

This gentleman's experience ill.u.s.trates a psychological condition well known to many of our readers, because they have been in substantially the same situation--and well known to every salesman, because he has had to meet and combat just such a situation many a time.

Desire having been created, our law of sale states that desire, properly augmented, ripens into decision and action. This is true. And yet the ripening process is sometimes so slow that the frost of fear or the rot of regret spoils the fruit. It is popularly supposed to be true that if a person really desires to do a thing strongly enough, and it is within the bounds of possibility, he will do it. Nine times out of ten, or perhaps ninety-nine times out of a hundred, this is the case; but there are times when the will simply refuses to respond to desire.

A BALKY WILL

A lady who was of an exceedingly stubborn nature once said to us: "Ordinarily, I consider myself to be quite amenable to persuasion and suggestion. I like to live peaceably with others. Occasionally, however, someone, and perhaps someone whom I love very dearly, says something or does something that makes me stubborn. Then I absolutely balk. Commands, demands, appeals, cajoleries, every means thinkable, are used, but the more people attempt to influence my action, the more stubborn I become. If then I am left alone to think it over for a few hours, very likely I shall begin to think that it would be advisable, from every point of view, for me to yield. My judgment is already convinced that to yield is the best policy. My love for my friends, my desire for peace, my wish to be accommodating and to have their approval all urge me to yield. I want to yield. But, even then--how, I cannot explain--there is something inside which absolutely forbids it. This is so strong that it feels stronger than my judgment and all of my desires taken together. The only possible course for me to pursue is to forget the entire matter for a few days, at the end of which time, perhaps, the stubbornness has seemingly evaporated."

DECISION MAY WAIT UPON AN IRRELEVANT WORD

And so, merely augmenting desire oftentimes is not enough to bring about decision and action, even in cases which are not so extreme as those which we have just cited. The proposition may be of such a nature that it does not admit of arousing desire to any very high pitch. In all such cases what is needed is some special stimulus to the will. As every chemist knows, sulphuric acid and alcohol, when mingled together in a gla.s.s vessel, do not combine. They have an affinity for each other. All of the necessary elements for active combination are present in that gla.s.s, and yet they do not combine. But drop in a bit of platinum and instantly the whole ma.s.s is boiling with energy let loose. In a similar way, oftentimes, all the elements for decision and action are present in the mind, yet nothing happens. But a word or a little act, seemingly insignificant in itself, oftentimes breaks the spell, as it were, and decision and action follow. In our first chapter of this part we described some of these methods for ripening desire into decision and action. This chapter we shall devote to a consideration of different cla.s.ses of individuals and the best methods of inducing in them favorable decision and action.

THE IMPULSIVE MAN

The impulsive individual must be rushed. His emotions are very responsive, easily aroused, and, as, a rule, when aroused take a strong hold upon him.

It is the impulsive person's tendency always to act quickly and to act in response to his strong feelings. The impulsive man discharges his feelings with speed in action, and they rapidly evaporate. Therefore, desire, when aroused, must be quickly ripened into decision and action or it soon cools, and it is too late. As a general rule, the impulsive person is well supplied with fears, and if he is given time to think the matter over his lack of courage begins to a.s.sert itself. Fears of possible or impossible disaster begin to take form until the feelings of fear and apprehension entirely overshadow the desires which have been created.

Mark Twain's story of his attendance at a missionary meeting is typical.

After the speaker had been talking for half an hour, Mark was in such hearty sympathy with him and the cause for which he plead that he decided to put one dollar in the collection box when it came around--but the man kept on talking. At the end of three-quarters of an hour, Mark decided he would give only fifty cents. At the end of an hour, he decided that he would give nothing, and when, at the end of an hour and a half, the collection box finally did come around, Mark took out a dollar to pay himself for his pains.

INDICATIONS OF IMPULSIVENESS

Here are some of the indications of impulsiveness: blonde coloring, especially if accompanied by a florid skin; small, round, retreating chin; small size; fineness of texture; elasticity of consistency; short head; short, smooth fingers, with tapering tips; a keen, alert, intense expression. The impulsive person's movements are also impulsive. He walks with a quick step, sometimes almost jerky. His gestures are quick, and if he is very impulsive, he always has the air of starting to do things before he has properly considered what he is going to do.

THE DELIBERATE MAN

The deliberate individual is the opposite of the impulsive. His feelings may be strong, but he has them well under control. He may think slowly or he may think quickly, but he always acts with deliberation and always after he has thought very carefully. Once he has determined to act, he may act far more energetically, and certainly more persistently, than the impulsive person. The thing to remember about him is that he is const.i.tutionally opposed to hasty decision and action. Even when his mind is made up and his desires are strong, he is very likely to postpone action until his resolution has had an opportunity to harden. Oftentimes these deliberate people are, or seem to be, incorrigible procrastinators.

It is useless to try to rush them. Give them time to think and consider.

INDICATIONS OF DELIBERATION

These are some of the indications of deliberation: dark coloring, with an inclination to pallor; a long, strong, prominent chin and well-developed jaw; large size; medium or coa.r.s.e texture; hard consistency; a long, square head; long, knotty fingers, with square tips; slow, deliberate, rhythmical movements; a calm, poised expression, and either an absence of gesture or gesture of a slow, graceful character.

Looking around amongst your friends and acquaintances, you will readily see that few, if any, have all of the characteristics of impulsiveness in a marked degree, and an equally small number all of the characteristics of deliberation in a marked degree. The majority of people probably have a combination of these characteristics--some indications of impulsiveness and some of deliberation. In such cases, the question is answered by a preponderance of evidence.

OBSTINATE PEOPLE

Some people are remarkably obstinate. If given their own way, they are agreeable and amiable, but when opposed, they are exceedingly difficult to persuade. If such persons are of the positive type and like to feel that they are doing the thing and that no one else is influencing or coercing them, then they must be handled by an adroit suggestion similar in principle to that described in the case of the automobile salesman on page 380. On the other hand, in case these obstinate people are somewhat negative in character, without much initiative or aggressiveness but with a very large degree of stubbornness, then care must be taken not to antagonize them or to oppose them--always gently to lead them and never to try to drive them.

Argument is probably the most useless waste of energy possible in attempting persuasion. Your own experience teaches you that argument only leaves each party to the controversy more strongly convinced than ever that he is right. This is true no matter what the character of the arguers be. It is especially and most emphatically true when either one or the other, or both, who partic.i.p.ate in the argument are of the obstinate type.

The obstinate person may be amenable to reason if reasons are stated calmly, tactfully, and without arousing his opposition. His emotions of love, sympathy, generosity, desire for power and authority may be successfully appealed to and he may be gently led to a decision by way of minor and seemingly insignificant points.

INDICATIONS OF OBSTINACY

These are the indications of obstinacy: dark coloring; a prominent chin; a head high in the crown; hard consistency; a rigidity of the joints, especially of the joints in the hands and fingers. Perhaps the most important and most easily recognized indication of a domineering, obstinate, determined will is the length of line from the point of the chin to the crown of the head. When this line greatly exceeds in length that from the nape of the neck to the hair line at the top of the forehead, you have an individual who desires to rule and bitterly resents any attempt on the part of others to rule him.

The indications of a positive, aggressive, dominating will are these: blonde color; prominent chin; a large, bony nose, high in the bridge; high forehead, prominent at the brows and retreating as it rises; medium or small size; medium fine, medium or coa.r.s.e texture; hard consistency, rigid joints; a head wide just above and also behind the ears and high in the crown; a keen, penetrating, intense expression of the eyes, and positive, decided tones of voice, movements and gestures.

The individual who is negatively stubborn may have a small or sway-back nose; may have a high forehead, flat at the brows and prominent above; may have elastic or soft consistency; may have a head narrow above and behind the ears. Obstinacy will be shown in the length of line from the point of chin to the crown of head and in the rigidity of the joints of the hands and fingers.

THE INDECISIVE

The gentleman mentioned at the opening of this chapter belongs to the indecisive cla.s.s. They are like those of whom we sing in the old hymn:

"But timorous mortals start and shrink To cross that narrow sea And linger, shivering, on the brink And fear to launch away."

We have often watched boys in swimming. In every crowd there are always a few of these timorous mortals who "shiver on the brink and fear to launch away." As a general rule, some of their companions usually come up behind them and give them a strong push, after which they are pleased and happy enough in the water. We have seen boys who seemed to be waiting for someone to push them in. No doubt they were. Certain it is that grown up men and women who suffer in an agony of indecision usually like to have someone take the matter out of their hands.

In the case of the gentleman to whom we have referred in the opening of this chapter, the real estate agent one day walked into his office, laid a contract down on the desk in front of him, and said, very impressively: "This thing has got to be settled up to-day. Just sign your name right there." And, with a feeling of intense relief and satisfaction, our friend did sign his name "right there." To the best of our knowledge and belief, he has been glad of it ever since.

HOW ONE SALESMAN OVERCAME INDECISION

We once knew a salesman of the positive, domineering type. He was selling an educational work. Now, education is a thing everyone needs but few will take the trouble and find the money to purchase unless they are very strongly persuaded. Men who would readily spend fifty or seventy-five dollars for a night's carousal will hesitate, and find objections, and back and fill for weeks, or even for months, before they spend thirty or forty dollars on a bit of education which they well know they ought to have. Our friend, therefore, was met over and over again with the temporizing excuse: "Well, I will have to think this matter over. I cannot decide it to-day, but you come in and see me again." Almost without exception, this excuse means that the man who makes it knows, deep down in his heart, that he ought to make his decision--that he will profit by it in many ways. He fully intends to make his decision some time, or else he would not ask the salesman to come back and see him again. But he is a little weak-kneed. He lacks something in decisiveness. Our friend treated practically all of these indecisive prospects of his in the same way.

"I am sorry," he would say, "but I can't come back to see you again. My time is limited. There are plenty of people who want to know about my proposition and who are eager to take it. I must get around and see them.

I can't afford to go back on my track and spend time with people to whom I have already explained the whole thing. You want this and you know you want it. You intend to have it, or you would not ask me to come back and see you again. There is no good reason why you should not have it now, and you know there is not. Furthermore, if you do not take it now and I do not come back to see you--and I won't--then you will never take it. That's plain enough. You feel more like taking it right now, to-day, while I am talking to you, than you will later, when you have forgotten half of what I have said. If there is any question you want to ask about this, ask me now and I will answer it. But there isn't any, because I have already answered your questions. You are satisfied. Your mind is made up. There is no reason for delay--just sign your name right there, please." And only about four per cent of those to whom he talked that way refused to sign when he told them to.

The indecisive person wants someone always to decide for him. If you are trying to persuade such a person, then you must decide for him. Do it as tactfully as you can. Sometimes these people want others to decide for them and, at the same time, to make the situation look as if they had decided for themselves. They realize their own indecisiveness. They are ashamed of it, and they do not like to be reminded of it.

INDICATIONS OF INDECISION

These are the indications of indecisiveness: brunette coloring; moderately square and prominent chin--sometimes a long, narrow chin; small, snub or sway-back nose; high forehead, flat at the brows and prominent above; soft consistency; great flexibility of the joints of hands and fingers; a head narrow above and behind the ears and square in the back; a timid, apprehensive expression; rather aimless movements and gestures, and a small thumb, set high on the hand. Rare, indeed, is the person who has all of these indications. So rare, in fact, that he is scarcely a normal being if he has them all in a marked degree.

THE BALANCED TYPE

There are some people of an evenly balanced type. They are neither violently impulsive nor ponderously deliberate. They are interested in facts and pa.s.s their judgment upon them, but they are also interested in theories and willing to listen to them. They are practical and matter-of-fact, but they also have ideals. They have clean, powerful emotions, fairly well controlled, and yet, when their judgment has been satisfied, they are perfectly willing to act in response to their feelings. They are neither easy, credulous and impulsive nor suspicious, obstinate and procrastinating. The way to persuade them is first to present the facts and show them the reasons why. Then, by suggestion and word-painting, to stimulate their desire and give them an opportunity to decide and act. Such people are medium in color, with forehead, nose, mouth and chin inclining to the straight line; medium in size; medium in build; fine or medium fine in texture; elastic in consistency; moderately high, wide, long, square head; a pleasant but calm and sensible expression of face and eyes; quiet, well-timed walk and gestures; well-modulated voice.

THE EASY MARK

When the person to be persuaded is indecisive and also has large, wide-open, credulous eyes; a hopeful, optimistic, turned-up nose, and a large, round dome of a head just above the temples, he is the living image of the champion easy mark. What he needs is not so much to be persuaded as to be protected against himself. He, and the greedy, grasping, cunning but short-sighted individual, who is always trying to get something for nothing, const.i.tute that very large cla.s.s of people of whom it has been said that there is one born every minute.