An Inconvenient Trilogy Part 16

"You are ent.i.tled to chase as many women as you wish. It is my foolish jealousy that's all, ignore me." she said quietly.

Michael shook his head at his bad taste. "I haven't been chasing anyone."

"There isn't a woman?" Elizabeth asked in confusion.

"Oh yes there is," Michael groaned, reaching the side of her chair and touching her hand. "I didn't want to say what I've been doing, because it would make me look like a love sick puppy. I've not been out in society because the woman who is the light of my life took herself off to Yorkshire and abandoned me."

Elizabeth looked at him, a small smile on her lips. "If I ever thought that there was any chance that you wanted me to stay I would have done without a second's hesitation."

"What, and abandon your estate?" Michael asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, without a backwards glance!" Elizabeth responded seriously.

Michael let the words sink in, but tried to keep the mood light. "You mean you would stop wearing breeches?"

"I would burn them in front of you." she replied with a smile.

"You would go out into society every night?" Michael asked, suddenly feeling a little overawed at Elizabeth's words.

"With you by my side, I would visit every card party, and ball in the neighbourhood." Elizabeth responded.

Michael threw his head back and laughed. "Now I know you are lying, you would stick pins in your eyes before attending card parties every night."

Elizabeth smiled, "So that was a little far, but I meant all the rest."

Michael pulled her to her feet. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Kiss me?" Elizabeth suggested.

Michael groaned again. "Elizabeth, you know we shouldn't. It is leading you to believe that something will happen between us and it can't."

Elizabeth sighed. "I know that you won't let anything happen between us, but that doesn't stop my feelings, or the need to feel close to you. I will not demand anything more of you than you are happy to give."

Michael pulled her into his arms. "Why is it you always say the words that tempt me the most? You are very wicked."

Elizabeth smiled at him; she was wrapped against his chest, the place where she felt the most comfortable. Nothing else mattered, she would take what little he could give her, and she would not demand more. "I think I need to be punished."

"So do I," Michael whispered, leaning in to kiss her. It had almost killed him to keep away from her for over a week. He had returned to the inn every night almost fit to explode with built-up frustration at being so close to her, but not being able to touch. Having no one around other than Charles and Miss Fairfield did not help ease his restraint. He needed at least a dozen chaperones before he would have not wanted to grab her at every opportunity.

Her reaction to the thought that he may have been chasing another woman had pleased him, but also made him feel like a cad. He never wanted to hurt her. Her words had made him feel humble that she would give up what meant so much to her in order to be with him. He could no longer resist her.

His mouth brushed hers, gently, enjoying the intake of breath his touch caused. He tried to be restrained, but the frustration he had been feeling was hard to contain. Elizabeth slipped her arms around his neck and immediately his restraint was lost. He pulled her close and deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth, causing her to moan and lean into him. She grabbed onto his hair, which increased his excitement, he could not have pulled away if his life had depended on it. She equalled him on every level, intellect, spirit and pa.s.sion and he never wanted to let her go. He would allow the future to creep back later, for now he wanted to enjoy her.

Elizabeth felt Michael's every doubt ease away as his pa.s.sion increased. She revelled in the realisation that she could have that effect on him, no matter how temporary. That was the last coherent thought she had before feelings took over. His mouth and hands made it impossible to think, just to respond. She pulled him hard onto her lips, pulling at his thick, wavy hair. When that wasn't enough, she slid her hands under his frock coat, encouraged by his appreciative groan and manoeuvred her hands under his waistcoat. She wanted to feel his skin, but stopped herself from pulling out his shirt. She could feel his muscles tense as her hands moved across his back and the pleasure it gave her, almost made her lightheaded.

Michael had to content himself with feeling Elizabeth's body over her outer clothing. He was not lost enough to know that any member of staff could walk in and he was not prepared to compromise her in such a way. They were not in the top field this time. Although the lack of contact with her skin was missed, the gentle moaning sounds she made more than made up for any restriction. He wanted the moment never to end, he wanted more.

They were interrupted when the door opened and they heard a gasp. Elizabeth tried to move away from Michael, but he held her close and they both turned to look who had entered. They were faced with the shocked, but smiling faces of Edward and Violet.

"Well! Elizabeth, it looks as if you have compromised my brother. I do hope you are going to make an honest man out of him!" Violet said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Good G.o.d," Michael muttered and moved away from Elizabeth. He sat at the desk, his head in his hands briefly, before looking at his sister. "Don't get any ideas Violet." he said, more abrupt than he had intended.

Violet was confused at her brother's reaction. When she had walked into the room, she had hoped her dash across country had been in vain and that they had sorted out their differences. It certainly looked as if they had sorted everything out, but Michael's response and the look of mortification on Elizabeth's face made her not so sure.

"Michael you cannot behave in such a way without facing up to the consequences. I could have been anyone walking into the room!" she snapped at her brother.

"Well you are my sister, so forget what you have just seen, it was nothing." Michael snapped in return.

Elizabeth looked ashen at his words, but turned to Violet. "Welcome Violet, Edward. It is lovely to see you both. Please excuse me a moment, I need to go and arrange your accommodation."

Violet did not stop Elizabeth leaving the room, she could she how upset she was. The tears had started to fall, but Elizabeth did not seem to notice. Violet turned to her husband in confusion, the placid Edward looked angrier than she had seen him in a long time.

"You, Michael," Edward ground out, "have some serious explaining to do and if I don't find it satisfactory, I will make sure you are very clear how annoyed I am at the moment."

Michael groaned, his brother-in-law was threatening violence now, could the day get any worse?

"Oh Michael, I am so disappointed in you." Violet said quietly.

Yes, Michael thought, apparently it could.

Chapter 23.

Michael tried to delay making any explanation to his family. He was feeling at a complete loss. He had been interrupted at the worse possible moment. Although that was a feeble excuse for the words he had uttered and the pain he had unintentionally inflicted on Elizabeth. He needed to go to her.

Michael stood and moved from behind the desk. "I need to find Elizabeth." He said flatly.

"You are the last person in the world that Elizabeth wants to see at the moment and I demand an explanation from you." Edward responded angrily. His usual easy manner gone.

"Edward, she will be upset. I need to explain that I didn't mean what I said." Michael ground out in frustration.

"Will you be asking for her hand in marriage?" Edward asked.

"Marriage? No, she knows I won't be asking her to marry me." Michael said dismissively.

"In that case I suggest that you don't leave this room, because I am struggling to understand just why you wouldn't be asking her to marry you." Edward responded seriously.

"It's complicated, but I believe that she understands." Michael said defensively.

"Well she may, but we don't." Edward said firmly and sat in a chair, indicating that Violet should do the same.

Michael looked between the pair and admitted defeat. He would have to explain everything. He hated baring his soul and even though they were his closest family, this was not going to be easy for him. He sighed and sat down. "I'm very fond of Elizabeth."

"We are all fond of Elizabeth, but funnily enough that doesn't put me in the position of wanting to compromise her." Violet said, sarcastically.

"Violet, sarcasm doesn't suit you." Michael responded drily, but held his hands up when it looked like his sister was about to retort. "Fine, I have feelings, I care! I am smitten with Elizabeth! Is that better?" He asked.

"It's a start," Edward responded. "But it still doesn't explain why you would not wish to marry her."

"I gave the reasons to you a long time ago," Michael responded, turning to Violet. "I was her guardian and I didn't want her to experience the scandal."

Violet did not want to let Michael know that Elizabeth had written to her. He would be angry at Elizabeth and there were enough problems between the two, without her causing more. Instead she used a previous conversation she had had with her brother. "You once told me that there was another reason, but you weren't prepared to tell me about it. Is it something to do with Elizabeth?"

Michael sighed. "No. She is perfect. It is to do with me." Michael looked at his sister and an anguished expression crossed the usual confident face. "Can you not guess Violet? I don't want to hurt you by saying it."

Violet had almost rushed to her brother's side at the expression on his face, but she had restrained herself. She had to hear everything from him. "I think I have an idea, but you'd better tell me everything."

"I don't want to inflict my mother's fate on Elizabeth. It wouldn't matter how many staff we had in place, she would still see what I had become. Think of the scandal, Violet. I could not put her through that. I love her too much to inflict the slightest pain on her, although since we have met, it seems that's all I do. I cannot look at myself and know that if I married her I wouldn't be a full man for her for the whole of our marriage."

"Oh Michael, why on earth would you think that she would suffer the same fate as our mother?" Violet asked. This time she did move to her brother's side and clasped his hand in hers.

"Madness runs in families Violet. I may suffer the same illness as our father. I can't risk it, even if it means not having her at all. Rather that than going mad while living with her. I won't inflict such a future on her and I certainly will not inflict it on any children we may have. I was lucky in that I was so sheltered, I may not be such an easy lunatic," Michael said firmly, but with resignation.

Violet had tried to interrupt a number of times, but Michael had been determined to say his piece once he had started. She squeezed his hand when he had finished speaking. "You are wrong Michael; you are not like our father."

"How do you know Violet? No one has such inside knowledge; you don't know how I look at myself every day in the looking gla.s.s. Each day I ask myself if today is the day that the rot will start to show. I cannot marry her and force her to live under such uncertainty," Michael snapped. He could not have Elizabeth; he did not want empty words of consolation.

"I do know that you are nothing like our father, dear brother," Violet said gently, but with a smile. "I suppose you were too young to remember the beginning, I honestly thought you knew. I'm sorry that I have presumed that you did know. You have been suffering under these false illusions and if only you'd spoken to me I could have put your mind to rest."

"I didn't want to remind you that you may be at risk too," Michael said with a shrug. "You have three daughters to consider."

"And if I'd thought they may have been at risk in the future I would never have had children. Sorry Edward," she said at her husband's raised eyebrows. "As usual Michael you have taken on too much responsibility."

"I was trying to protect you." he said simply.

"Instead you have given yourself years of unnecessary pain. Let me tell you what really happened. Father loved fishing, it was his real pa.s.sion. He would be out in all weathers and at all times, he loved being out on the property, with none of the constraints that living in town brings. Mother was quite happy with the situation, they were really in love and father was a loving husband in every way. He was so pleased when you were born, hoping that you would one day inherit the Dunham t.i.tle, as he knew his brother wasn't one for marriage."

"He had high hopes for me at birth then?" Michael said with a smile, glad his father had known of his existence before the madness started.

"Oh yes, you were his boy. Anyway, one day he was out fishing when he slipped into the lake, banging his head when he fell. n.o.body realised he had a head wound initially. He caught a chill and was ill with fever for days, which was the focus of everyone's attention. Other injuries weren't really considered I don't think, he looked fine on the outside. I'm not sure if they could have done anything even if they had discovered it earlier. The doctors said there was swelling on the brain. The signs were small at first, but it seemed over time, the swelling got worse and so did the symptoms," Violet said sadly, remembering the father that she had lost.

"So, the madness progressed." Michael said quietly.

"Yes, it was sad to see as a child. I can only imagine what mother must have gone through, to see the man she loved slowly be taken from her. Marriage holds no guarantees though, and mother loved him. Did you never wonder why we were not shunned by society if we had madness in the family?" Violet asked, reminding her brother of the cruelty that existed in the society to which they belonged.

"I did," Michael acknowledged. "But I've been taunted over the years by men such as Prescott, Robinson and Parker. They've all made comments about my father's madness, and made jibes about what will happen when it is my turn."

"These would be the same Prescott, Robinson and Parker that proposed to our mother and received refusals?" Violet asked. "Perhaps a tad jealous and inflicting their nastiness on you, an innocent in the situation."

"I shall be having a word with each of those gentlemen in turn in the near future!" Edward interjected, his mouth thinning into a line.

"Don't do it on my account." Michael said. He was used to fighting his own battles.

"It won't be. I have three daughters who could have heard such comments once they entered society and I don't take kindly to having my wife's family name bandied about maliciously." Edward responded grimly. The normally placid man looked fit to pummel someone, Michael suddenly felt a little sorry for the three gentlemen, but only a little, he also remembered the comments they had made.

"In that case, be my guest. I was going to have a word with them myself, but I shall leave it in your capable hands," Michael smiled. "So, he wasn't mad." he said almost to himself.

"No, he was ill," Violet said quietly. "I do remember the father that existed before the accident, although it fades more and more as the years pa.s.s. He was a good man Michael, he loved his wife and children, and he wanted us to be happy. He was kind and gentle, but playful at the same time. He was a family man, who was happy with his life, it was a tragic accident that could not be helped. Be a.s.sured that both of our parents wanted us to be happy and for us to experience the same level of happiness. It is what every parent wishes for their children." she smiled at him.

Michael felt a lump in his throat at Violet's words. "I wish I had known him. I just remember the illness and the effects of that, and the staff trying to deal with him."

"You do know him, you are like him, but in a good way," Violet said. "Mother always said you were like him, fiercely protective and loyal and very loving. I wish you had said something earlier, it could have stopped so much pain."

"Yes, he could have had a dozen heirs by now." Edward said jokingly.

Michael looked at his brother-in-law. It was true; he could have had a handful of children by now. If he had known the truth, how different his life might have been. He needed time to absorb what he had been told.

"Please excuse me, I need some fresh air." he said apologetically. This time he was not stopped from leaving the room.

Michael walked quickly over the fields; he needed to expel some energy, but did not want to ride his horse. His mind whirled with every step he took. His life had been based on a falsehood. It was no one's fault, the presumption had been made that he knew about his father's condition. Well he had, just not the facts, but the imaginings of a young boy.

It had influenced how he had dealt with people throughout his life. Everyone, except Violet, Edward and John had been kept at a distance. Having close relationships would have caused problems later on. Would he have behaved differently? Probably, was the truthful answer. He did not dislike everyone in society, the way he made out that he did. He could have had closer friends, more friends.

He stopped to catch his breath. In reality, apart from one or two people, he did not think that he had missed out at all. Did he feel aggrieved that he kept men like Lord Halkyn at a distance? No. He may have become a little closer to Halkyn, but that would have all changed the moment he showed interest in Elizabeth.

Elizabeth. She was tied up with all the feelings that Violet's words had stirred. He had wanted children. He loved his nieces and had wanted a houseful of his own children, but he had made sure that in any dalliances he had had, that there would be no children as a result. He had never taken marriage prospects seriously. Before inheriting he had enjoyed himself, but had never let anyone get too close. Once he had inherited his t.i.tle, the blatant hunting by debutantes and their mothers discouraged any serious thoughts he may have had, even if the madness had not been an issue.

In reality though, he had never met anyone who had tempted him into marriage, no one who had made him regret his family history. No one had made him feel as if he was missing out on anything, until Elizabeth's advent. She had brought everything to a head, had made him feel as if he was missing something. From the first moment he had met her, she had challenged him, frustrated him, made him laugh, made him angry and made him want her as he had never wanted anyone before.

Violet's words had lifted the cloud that had been pressing him down since childhood. He would no longer need to scrutinise every mood, every expression, to see if the madness was starting. It was over. He had a future, he had the possibility of a happy, fulfilled life and he wanted Elizabeth to know that it was no longer a barrier.

Michael turned back towards the house. His strides were determined and sure. He was going to speak to Elizabeth, to right the wrongs and more importantly, he was going to get her agreement to marry him.

Chapter 24.

Violet entered Elizabeth's room. Elizabeth was brushing her hair, sitting in front of her dressing table. "h.e.l.lo, my dear. Miss Fairfield thought you wouldn't mind if I popped in to see you," Violet said gently.

Elizabeth put down her brush and turned to Violet. "I've been a very bad hostess. I apologise for my poor behaviour."

Violet smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. "No apologies are needed in the circ.u.mstances. My foolish brother did have a lot of questions to answer though."

"I expect he answered them in the coldest, most brutal way possible." Elizabeth responded bitterly.

Violet winced. "He has been foolish, but it's not been completely his fault." Her brother may have been badly behaved, but she would always try and defend him.