Always Sometimes Never: Sometimes Brooke Part 19

"Who do you want to be?" When she looks into my eyes I feel like she's looking into my soul.

"I thought you were supposed to be a physical therapist, not a mental one."

She laughs. "I'm not a professional counselor. This is free advice, so take it for what it's worth. Don't let anyone else define you. You decide who you want to be. You don't have to be defined by your past either. The here and now is all that matters. My parents wanted me to be what they considered the perfect daughter. I would go to college, but only as a vehicle to snag a husband. I was supposed to marry a doctor, have two perfect children, live in a house in the suburbs with a picket fence and a dog. You get the picture. I didn't want any of those things. I live in a condo with my wife and our cat. Much to my parents' disappointment. They hate cats."

We both laugh.

Then she continues. "I tried to live the life they wanted for too many years. But it didn't work. I'm finally happy because I'm living the life I want to live. I get to decide who I am and what makes me happy. No one else."

"I'm not sure what makes me happy," I admit.

She raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're not sure?"

I laugh. "I'm not sure about anything. Even not being sure about not being sure. Does that even make sense?"

"All I know is that whenever that tattooed rock star walks in here your face lights up like a Christmas tree. He seems to make you extremely happy."

"Who makes her happy?" Leo says as he struts into the room.

"Done with practice already?" I ask.

"I'm taking a break. I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Franny says I'm doing well."

Leo gives me a kiss on the cheek. Then he puts his arm out so I can grab it as I rise from the exercise ball.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kiddo," Franny says as she makes her way out of my bedroom.

"I'm making really good progress," I tell him. "I'm sure you'll be able to go on the road with the guys..."

Leo shakes his head before I even have a chance to finish my sentence. "You're still in physical therapy. You've still got the cast on your arm. Harper's going on the road and I'm not leaving you here alone."

"Franny will be here every day. And it's only for a week."

"Franny isn't here twenty-four seven. What if you fall? Who's going to help you take a shower? Who's going to cook for you?"

I roll my eyes. "I think I can manage for a week."

"Rayne is auditioning a replacement for me tomorrow. I guess he's some hot shot musical pudgy."

"Musical pudgy?" I repeat because I'm not sure I heard him correctly. "What's that?"

"You know. Those guys like Mozart. They're like musical geniuses when they're kids."

I laugh. "You mean musical prodigy."

He frowns. "That's what I said."

"I can't let them replace you. In your own band. It's not fair."

"It's only for a week. We won't be touring the new alb.u.m until next year."

"It's just not right..."

"It's already been decided."

Even though I say, "Fine," I don't think it's fine at all.

Twelve.

Leo Darrow Thompson. He's the musical prodigy Rayne wants to hire as my replacement for the charity concerts. He looks like a b.u.t.ton-down shirt wearing douche, but who am I to judge? From what I hear the guy can really play.

And he does have an awesome guitar with him. One of the best. A Custom PRS Paul Reed Smith 24 Semi-Hollow.

But there's something about him that I just don't like. I just can't quite put my finger on it. I may not be the smartest guy on the planet, but I know people. There's something not right about this guy. He's a c.o.c.ky son of a b.i.t.c.h, but how many guys in rock bands aren't?

It's strange when he takes a seat right between Xander and Raven, but when he looks at Raven like he owns her I know something is definitely up.

And I don't like the way Raven reacts to him. Like she wants to get as far away from him as possible, but she can't. That's not like Raven at all. When she doesn't like someone or something everyone knows it.

"You all know why we're here," Rayne says. "The first thing I want to say is that if Harper was in that car instead of Brooke I wouldn't be going on the road either. I completely understand, Dude."

Both Xander and Raven nod. Even if they have issues with Brooke I think they've figured out how much she means to me.

"I want you all to meet Darrow Thompson. He comes highly recommended. And I think he'll be a wonderful addition to the band while Leo is home with Brooke. I've already heard him play, but I wanted everyone to hear him and tell me what you think. This isn't a dictatorship. We all get a say in what happens with Always Rayne."

I plop my a.s.s down on the couch and Xander sits on the couch with me. Normally Raven would squeeze in between us, but she takes a chair on the other side of the room instead. Rayne prefers to stand and I'm pretty sure he'll start pacing once Darrow starts. He can never sit still when there's music playing.

Darrow sits on a stool in front of us with his guitar. He starts with a guitar solo from Guns N' Roses "Sweet Child O' Mine" which is flawless. The guy's got chops, there's no doubt about that. But when he moves into Pink Floyd "Comfortably Numb" I'm really blown away. The guitar sounds like it's crying. It kills me to say it, but I've never heard anyone play like that in my life.

I've been told I wear my emotions for everyone to see. People usually say it like it's a bad thing. Rayne, however, is the opposite. He keeps everything to himself. Unless he's mad. Everyone knows when Rayne is mad. Or when it comes to Harper. He's like a chick around that girl.

Right now Rayne is grinning like a kid in a store filled with candy.

He puts up a hand in an effort to get Darrow to stop playing. But the guy is so absorbed in his music he doesn't even seem to notice. He just keeps right on playing.

Finally Rayne starts clapping. This gets Darrow's attention. He stops mid strum.

"I've got a few more songs," he says. "Do you want to hear some Rush or Led Zeppelin?"

Rayne shakes his head. "No, Dude. I think we've heard enough."

Wide-eyed Darrow waits expectantly do hear the outcome of his audition.

"What do you think?" Rayne turns his attention to Xander, who for some reason looks p.i.s.sed.

Even though Xander says, "Makes no difference to me" it clearly does. I know my brother better than anyone on the planet, and it's pretty obvious there's something he doesn't like about Darrow.

Rayne turns to me and asks the same question.

"He sounds good," I admit. What I'd never tell him is that he sounds a h.e.l.l of a lot better than I ever will.

When Rayne turns to Raven she's nervously chomping on her bottom lip.

"You okay?" Rayne asks her. There's obvious concern in his voice.

"Of course," she bites back. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He throws up his hands. "You look a little-I don't know-uneasy."

"We've never had to replace one of the guys," she blurts. I swear it sounds like she's going to burst into tears at any moment.

Frowning Rayne says, "We're not replacing anyone. This is a temporary thing until Brooke recovers. Right, Leo?"

"Absolutely," I state as confidently as I can. Since the Wild Child charged into my life everything is upside down. I used to think Always Rayne was the most important thing in my life. Being on the road with the guys and Raven was everything to me. I don't know what the future holds anymore. The only thing I do know is that Brooke is now my number one priority.

As Darrow stands he clears his throat. "I know this is a one-time opportunity. I'm not trying to replace Leo. I know he's irreplaceable." When he glances at Raven I swear he looks like he wants to hit her, but he quickly covers the rage inside with a huge fake smile. A chill runs up my spine in response.

There's definitely something about the guy that rubs me the wrong way, but Rayne seems keen to hire him. Plus it's only for a week, and the guy can play the s.h.i.t out of the guitar.

"I just hope you'll give me a chance to play with the band. I've always been a huge Always Rayne fan. It would be an honor to play with you, even if it is for just a week."

Rayne looks back at Xander with his eyebrow raised.

"Sure," Xander says. "Whatever."

"Raven?"

"As long as the only thing he expects to play with is his guitar." When she glares at him the sly son-of-a-b.i.t.c.h actually bites back a grin. It's like he's playing some kind of game with her.

I really hope he doesn't think f.u.c.king Raven is part of the deal. Especially when she's clearly not interested. I would have no problem punching the smug grin off the a.s.shole's face if I had to. Raven would just have to say the word and it would be done.

Of course I'd wait until they got back from charity concerts to beat the s.h.i.t out of him. Let him do the gig first.

"I guess you're in then," Rayne tells him.

"You won't be disappointed," Darrow says as he extends a hand to Rayne.

After they shake Darrow goes over to Xander and extends a hand. Xander narrows his eyes and looks the guy up and down. It looks like he might say something, but thinks better of it and just shakes Darrow's hand instead.

When Darrow approaches Raven he looks her up and down. The way he's eyeing her it's almost like he hasn't gotten laid in months. Like a guy who's been on a deserted island and just got rescued by a boat filled with s.e.xy cheerleaders.

But I know better. Guys who look and act like Darrow don't wait months to get laid. Guys like Darrow walk into a trendy bar and go home with any girl they want whenever they want.

No questions asked.

G.o.d only knows why he looks like he'll starve if he doesn't get between Raven's legs.

"I hope your girl gets better soon," Darrow says when he finally turns his attention to me.

I nod. For some reason I don't want him to even talk about my girl. I don't want him anywhere near Wild Child and I definitely don't want him thinking about her.

"Best of luck in New York," I tell him.

He laughs. "When you've got talent you don't need luck."

My first thought is, "Easy for a guy from a wealthy family to say," but I hold my tongue.

We both stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before Rayne says, "Now that we've got that settled I'll have Brad bring by the paperwork and we'll make it official. Until then do you want to practice with us? Play a few Always Rayne songs."

"I've already got them all memorized," he says.

"That's ambitious," I say.

"When you want something you should act like you already have it," he says matter-of-factly.

When I frown he says, "I follow The Law of Attraction," as if I'm supposed to know what that bulls.h.i.t means.

I want to tell him I follow the Law of Don't Be a d.i.c.khead, but it seems like it's already too late for him to follow. If he didn't have a big, fat d.i.c.k on his neck he'd be headless.

"I'll let you guys get to it," I say loud enough for everyone to hear.

"You're not going to practice with us?" Xander asks.

I shake my head. "I don't want to leave Brooke alone too long."

"I hope I get to meet her." Darrow gives me one of his fake smiles.

When h.e.l.l freezes over, I think, but just force a smile instead.

Thirteen.

Brooke "You haven't really kissed me since the accident," I tell Leo as he helps me into bed. "I miss it."

There are a lot of things I miss. Not just his mouth. His hands. His skin on mine.