Almost Home Part 34

"It's yours now."

"I don't want it."

He looked at her and saw the way she dropped her gaze from him. "You want it. It's what you came looking for, a home, a family, roots." He shrugged. "Take 'em, Katherine. They're yours."

"I don't want you to go." She walked over to him. "I love you, Zach." She cupped his chin with her hand so he couldn't look away from her. "I know you heard me say it this morning. It's the truth."

His heart twisted into a knot, and he had to fight hard to stop himself from telling her he loved her back. "Love is easy to find in the middle of an o.r.g.a.s.m."

"That's not fair, nor is it true."

"Well, life isn't fair, in case you haven't noticed. I've spent eighteen years breaking my back to make this farm a success, and along comes a long-lost granddaughter, and I'm out and you're in. You want to talk about fair?"

"I'll leave. I'll go back to California. I'll tell Harry and Claire right now." She turned to go and he caught her by the arm.

"Don't bother, Katherine. Harry will leave you the farm whether you want it or not, whether you're here in Kentucky or back in California. You'll have to come back. You'll have to take it over, because you're a Stanton, because it's your duty."

"I'll tell him not to leave it to me. I'll convince him. You'll see."

"The same way Margaret convinced him to let her stay and have her baby in Paradise?"

Katherine stared back at him. "There has to be a way to make this right."

"There is a way. You stay and I'll leave."

"We could both stay," she said tentatively. "Claire wants to get to know me. And you're right, I do want a chance to know my grandparents, at least a little better than I know them now. But that desire doesn't have anything to do with my taking over this farm."

He gave her a little shake. "It has everything to do with the farm. What do you think a stud farm is all about, Kat? It's about bloodlines. That's our business. That's who we are. That's who Harry is. I was dreaming to think he'd ever leave this place to me. And he shouldn't, because it's yours. You're the Stanton. I'm just the son of a thief."

"You're a lot more than that." She stared into his eyes. "I'm not about money. You know that, Zach. I came looking for a family, not an inheritance."

"Well, it looks like you're lucky enough to get both."

"And it looks like you're using this as a reason to walk away from me, but I don't understand why."

Zach let go of her and picked up his bag. "I told you before, I don't have anything to offer you. I have even less now."

"Don't say that." Tears filled her beautiful blue eyes. "Don't leave, Zach. I'm begging you."

His resolve started to melt at the look of love in her eyes. "Don't you have any pride, Kat?"

"Apparently the Stantons didn't pa.s.s that gene on to me," she said softly. "I didn't come here to ruin your life."

He let out a sigh of defeat. "I know you didn't. But it doesn't matter anymore."

"Then why are you so angry with me?"

Because his anger was the only thing keeping him from sweeping her into his arms and laying her back down on the bed they'd made love in all night long.

"You should have told me last night."

"You're right, but I didn't know the Stantons were going to pull the farm away from you. I didn't think my being Margaret's daughter would mean that. I'm sorry."

"Katherine, I need to figure out what I'm going to do next. I have to get Rogue to the Derby, and then there's the Belmont. And after that, I don't know. I want my own place, Kat. I want to run my own farm. And if it can't be here, then I have to find somewhere else. But one thing is certain, I can't stop and rearrange the rest of my life right now."

She stared at him for a long minute. "I'm not giving up on you. You told me not to quit when I wanted something. Well, I want you. Plain and simple." She paused. "I'm not going to end up like my mother. I'm not going to run away because things are hard. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life working at a job I hate, with people I don't love, wondering what might have been. You taught me to fight, Zach. And now I'm fighting for you."

"I'm not worth it."

"I've learned so much from you this past week. Haven't you learned anything from me? Don't you know how wonderful you really are?" She put her hands on his shoulders and made him look at her. "Stop checking your reflection in the eyes of the people who don't like you. Look at my eyes. And tell me what you see."

He stared at her for a long moment, then turned away. "You have a bad habit of wanting to believe the best of people."

"And you always want to believe the worst. Together we might be able to make sense. Think about it."

Katherine turned on her heel and walked out of the room. Zach sank down on the bed with a sigh. Katherine had so much faith. And he had so little. She wanted to believe life could be good, and he knew firsthand just how bad it could get. Sometimes he hated her for making him feel hopeful. Because he'd been hopeful before, on the eve of his wedding, when Harry had told him he might inherit the farm ... and it never worked out. Never. He had to remember that. He had to leave.

Katherine felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach. Loving Zach had certainly turned out to be a painful experience. As she drove back into town, as she put distance between herself and Stanton Farms, she felt even more torn. She could give up the farm for Zach. But Zach didn't want her. So what should she do? Turn away from the first blood relatives she'd ever known? Throw away the opportunity to learn about her mother, to be a part of the land, the community that had watched Margaret grow up?

But how could she stay? How could she take Zach's place? She didn't know anything about horses or running a farm, and she wasn't sure she wanted to learn. It wasn't the horses that had drawn her to the farm, it was the people and the gardens and Zach.

She could stay and tell Harry to give the farm to Zach anyway. Surely she could convince him that was the logical solution. But a tiny doubt came to her mind. What if she couldn't make Harry do it? What if it was all or nothing? Could she choose to walk away again? And to go where? She couldn't return to California and pretend her whole life hadn't changed. She couldn't stay in Kentucky and pretend that Zach's whole life hadn't changed.

By the time she reached the main streets of Paradise she had a pounding headache and an unaccustomed craving for a very large bottle of bourbon. And she wasn't going to bother listing all the reasons why she shouldn't get drunk in the middle of the day. Because she was done with lists, done with planning, done with agonizing over making the right decision. She couldn't seem to make one to save her life.

She stopped the car in front of the hotel, dropped off the keys to Maggie, then headed over to Golden's. She didn't just need a drink, she needed a friendly face, and Justin Blakemore was the only one she hadn't offended in some way. Although there was still time, she thought with a heavy heart and a bitter smile.

She'd been a fool to tell Zach she loved him, to put her heart out on the floor where he could stomp on it. He couldn't trust himself, much less anyone else. He'd never be able to love a woman until he found a way to love himself. Obviously she couldn't convince him.

"Hey there, Katherine," Justin said with a cheerful smile as she walked up to the bar and slid onto the stool. "What can I get for you?"

"A bourbon on the rocks."

"You're starting to sound like a real Kentucky woman."

"I'm starting to feel like one, too."

"Any new clues on your father?" Justin asked as he fixed her a drink and pushed it across the counter.

She started, suddenly realizing how much had happened since she'd gone through the photographs in his back room. "As a matter of fact, I did find out something."

"No kidding? What?"

"Well..." She hesitated, then took a sip of her bourbon. The strong liquor sent a shock wave through her system, and she had to cough.

Justin smiled, waiting for her to compose herself. He got her a gla.s.s of water and removed the bourbon. "Somehow I think you'll like this better."

"It just went down the wrong way," she lied.

"I'm sure it did."

She took a grateful sip of water and smiled at him. "You're a nice man."

"Thank you. I know a drinker when I see one, and you're not one. So why the bourbon?"

"I've had a lot of shocks lately."

"You were saying..." he prodded.

"I found out that my mother is-was Margaret Stanton."

Justin's eyebrows shot up into two mountain peaks of surprise. He blew out a long, wondering whistle. "No kidding. Margaret Stanton?" He shook his head again. "That's unbelievable."

"To me, too. I didn't know. Not until Claire came to see me yesterday and recognized my mother's things. I always knew my mother as Evelyn Jones. I guess she took that name when she left Paradise." Katherine paused, watching the emotions flit through his eyes. "Did you know my mother? Did you know Margaret?"

"Everyone knew Margaret. She was a couple of grades behind me in school, but she got around."

"Are you saying that in a good way?"

"Margaret marched to her own drummer. She was impulsive and didn't light too long in one place. But everyone liked her. She was pretty and imaginative and had a great sense of adventure. I remember one time we went on this church camp-out, and Margaret set up a ghost in the middle of the night to scare the d.i.c.kens out of the rest of the kids. She was something else." Justin shook his head. "I never knew why she left town. All kinds of stories went around. But no one seemed to know for sure, and the Stantons wouldn't talk about her after she was gone." He stopped and stared at her. "But Margaret was buried-"

"She's not buried there." Katherine cut him off. "That was just Mr. Stanton's way of calling off the search."

"Claire must be beside herself."

"She's not too happy with Harry, I don't think." Katherine took another sip of her water. "But she stuck by him all these years, so they must be two of a kind."

"So who's your father?" Justin asked, resting his elbows on the bar.

He seemed casually curious, nothing more, but still there was a note in his voice, a wariness that Katherine couldn't overlook. Was Justin hiding something behind his easygoing manner?

"I don't know yet," Katherine replied. "Claire and I need to talk some more and go through the things in the hope chest."

Justin nodded. "Do you have any other clues?"

"Not really. A cuff link," she said, watching his face carefully. She felt a tingle run down her spine that couldn't be explained.

Justin picked up a cloth and wiped down the bar. "What kind of a cuff link?"

"Gold and black. But it doesn't matter. I can hardly go around checking everyone's cuff links."

"Now, that would raise some eyebrows," he said with a smile.

"Margaret must have come in here with my father. She had so many napkins from the bar, dates scribbled on them."

"Margaret came in here all the time. She was a regular."

"Then why wasn't she in any of the photos?"

"She didn't like having her picture taken. She said she wasn't photogenic, but I think she didn't want any records of her trips to town that Harry might stumble over."

"Did you ever see her with any man in particular?"

"I don't remember, Katherine. It was a long time ago. And even if I told you that Margaret was in here with some guy, that wouldn't mean he was your father."

"It might give me someone else to talk to. What about J.T.? Was he friends with Margaret?"

"Margaret knew J.T.," Justin conceded. "But didn't you hear he had a heart attack yesterday?"

"What?" Katherine felt another shock wave rip through her body. "Is he all right?"

"I think he will be. Just a warning this time."

"Wow." She sat back in her chair. "I thought this was a quiet little valley."

"It used to be," he said with a pointed smile.

She looked into his eyes, pleading with him to understand. "I didn't mean to cause trouble."

"Like I told you before, you're asking about a very personal part of someone's life. Bound to get sticky."

"Jimmy Callaway hasn't ended up in the hospital, has he?"

"Not yet."

She finished her water and set down the empty gla.s.s. "That's something anyway."

"Have you seen Zach lately? I expect he's starting to get twitchy about the Derby. Only a little over a week to go."

She'd almost forgotten about the Derby with all the other chaos in her life.

"I sure hope that horse can give Zach what he wants," Justin added.

"Me, too," Katherine said as she got up to leave. Obviously she couldn't come close to giving Zach what he wanted. It was up to Rogue now. A man and his horse. She smiled to herself. That was the way it had all started, Zach and his horse, and her bursting in on them, upsetting everything.

It seemed like a lifetime ago that they'd first met, that she'd first come to Paradise with a reckless heart and high hopes. Zach had warned her that the truth might hurt. She just wished she'd listened to him.

It was after four o'clock on Thursday when Jimmy finally returned home. Leeanne had just about driven herself over the edge waiting for him, wondering if she had the guts to confront him.

When he walked through their living room door and set his briefcase down on the hall table as he'd done every day of their lives for the past twenty-six years, she had the strange sensation that everything was normal. Then she looked at him and saw the weary lines p.r.o.nounced in his face. Definitely not normal.

"Leeanne," he said quietly as he walked into the living room and stood across from her. He tugged at the knot in his tie. "I'm glad you're here."

"Are you? Why?"