Alida Part 12

Ah! now again all my sensations move to see a parent, and I sigh once more to meet the kind caresses of a father--and weeks seem ages in this separation.

The feelings of Alida were those of boundless joy to meet again her parents, after an absence from them which appeared long to her.

She was grieved to find her father had suffered much from indisposition during her absence. She endeavoured in vain, by every soothing attention, to recall him again to health and happiness. His malady increased daily, and he became a prey to infirmities, which at length confined him to his room.

The gladsome sensations of Albert were changed soon to those of melancholy, when he saw that his father was affected with a serious illness, and dejection supplied the place of more happy and animated feelings.

Alida, for several weeks, scarce left the apartment. One morning she perceived that he had altered very materially for the worse. It was only at intervals he could converse with her, and then his conversation was calculated to give her fort.i.tude and resignation, and prepare her mind for an approaching melancholy event, which, whenever she received the least hint of, her grief was inexpressible.

Her father observed her emotion. "Alida, my dear child," said he, "do not be alarmed, as I appear much worse than I am in reality at present;"

but she had drawn these words from the physician that morning, that his malady had increased greatly since the day before. Perceiving a visible change in his appearance, she scarcely left the room of her father till a late hour, when he, perceiving her almost fainting with fatigue, requested her to retire to rest. Albert supplied the place of his sister, and remained with his father, while the affectionate care of his only surviving son was grateful to the bosom of a fond parent.

The slumbers of Alida were broken, and fearing to leave her father too long, she arose very early next morning to attend him. He was evidently much worse next day, which was Sunday, and intimated that he wished all the family sent for. He then requested Alida to read some pa.s.sages in the bible, as was his daily custom.

"'Leave thy fatherless children to me and I will be their father,' what words of consolation are these," said he, "what transport do they convey to the heart of a parent, burthened with anxiety. Yes, divine Disposer,"

he exclaimed, "I will, with grateful joy, commit my children to thy kind care and protection."

When the physician made his morning visit, as he was going to take leave, Alida asked his opinion. He shook his head, and seemed to give no hopes of recovery.

Her father requested her to be seated by the bedside. "My child," said he, "I wish to discourse a little with you. And could I again see Theodore, how gladly would I now receive him. I have deeply injured him," said he, "and my child too; and have inflicted a wound still deeper in my own bosom. I have often considered his piety and worth. His moral character was all that it should be. Superfluous wealth is not necessary to ensure earthly felicity, but a competency and contentment therewith, is all that is necessary to happiness."

"Do not renew your sorrows, dear father," said Alida, "what is past is beyond recall. Let us confide in a just over-ruling Providence, that disposes all material events for the wisest purposes." Her tears flowed in abundance, as her looks rested upon the visage of her father, and deep distress was depicted in her countenance.

"My dear child," said her father, "weep not for me, think that rest must now be acceptable to the weary traveller, whose hopes are centred in the Redeemer, (as the only name under Heaven, whereby we can be saved,) and can leave the world in the joyful antic.i.p.ation of receiving those inestimable blessings, in a life to come, which the Gospel promises to every true believer."

He had scarcely uttered these words, when he sunk almost senseless upon his pillow. The greater part of the family now a.s.sembled round him. The physician came and gave no hopes of recovery. He faithfully watched over him the whole evening and a part of the night, and about twelve o'clock his family had the sorrow and misfortune to witness the distressful and trying scene. Their father was no more.

The distress, fatigue and agitation of Alida, could no longer be borne with, and for many weeks she was confined to her room. The loss of her parent and the terminating scene, had left her in deep affliction: all repose seemed fled forever, and bitter anguish had succeeded, and taken up its residence in her bosom. Reflections rose in her mind continually, that her situation had been heretofore comparatively happy, to what it at present afforded. An illness of short duration had suddenly deprived her of a very dear father, and she now felt herself a lonely, dejected orphan.

CHAPTER XXIX.

Could I trace back the time, a distant date, since my ancestors traversed these fields, and held possession of this wide domain.

The melancholy event had taken place, and Albert had lost his father.

His heavy and heartfelt affliction could not at this time be alleviated, and his mind was involved in gloom and sadness, which he endeavoured in vain to dissipate.

He was now deprived of the kind hand of a parent, who had used his endeavours to lead him in the way he should go, from his infancy: and a.s.sisted him with a kindly advice, and supplied him with a timely experience, and in the wisdom of whose salutary council, he could now no longer repose.

He felt himself deprived of this kind a.s.sistant, whose precepts had been his guide ever since the first dawning irradiations of reason had began to appear, to enlighten his mind, and with the eye of vigilance watched over him, endeavouring to trace out his good or evil propensities, and to point to the particular advantages on the one hand, and the baneful effects on the other, and to train his ideas to whatever was most commendable, and praiseworthy.

Albert had ever evinced a disposition pleasing to parental hopes and wishes, and flattering to a fond father's most sanguine antic.i.p.ations.

He was ever cheerful in complying with whatever he considered his duty, and conformable to the will of his interested parent.

He now revolved in his mind, and reflected what had heretofore been his particular wishes. It had long been the wish of his parent, that he should close his business in New-York, and settle himself on the paternal estate. He, therefore, was diligent in his endeavours to do this, as soon as his spirits would in any wise allow him to attend to these affairs, and at the commencement of the ensuing spring, he happily terminated his business in the city, and returned to the country.

The remembrance of his father for a long interval of time was in every object around and about the mansion, in which he was established, and reminded him of his bereavement, and he was affected with sorrowful meditations, and a borrowed serenity was manifested in his appearance.

He reflected on his present condition,--he would say, how desultory is the happiness of man, he lays plans of permanent felicity, when the whirlwind of affliction arrives, and destroys the towering edifice of creative hope, and his schemes of contentment are changed to disappointment and wo.

He had taken possession of the paternal estate, which had for some years been the wish of his father. Like him he was fond of rural pleasures and amus.e.m.e.nts, and to dissipate care amid the diversified scenes of rustic life, afforded him satisfaction and pleasure.

To contemplate the inimitable works of Creation, was to him no less pleasing than instructive. Where so many objects arrest the attention, and afford abundance of entertainment, equally calculated to raise in the human breast the most unfeigned offerings of wonder, grat.i.tude and praise to the great Dispenser of benefits to mankind, and the Author of universal existence.

The magnificence of the celestial, and the curiosity and variety of the vegetable world, that have properties which, if accurately seen, yield inconceivable astonishment to the eye of the beholder, and confess alike the happy influence of the Deity. It charms in all the genial warmth and softness of spring, when the earth teems with a matchless splendour, when its green hues and universal verdure come forth in all their pristine elegance and enchanting attractions, which constantly afforded the contemplative mind of Albert, an inexhaustible variety of entertaining and useful lessons.

In the meantime his new station in life called him to new responsibilities, and a new field of action, unknown to him before, presented itself, wherein he must act in many different capacities. He was naturally of a domestic turn of mind, and had always declined entering into the constant routine of engagements, to which the most part of the fashionable world, more or less, subject themselves. He avoided all excess and extravagance, in every respect, in which people of this description lose the greater part of their time. He was extremely fond of walking, as he considered gentle exercise the best medicine of life, and he pa.s.sed much of his time in strolling over the fields or in the forest glen, amid the green wood shade, wrapped up in solitary reflection.

When the sun was gilding the western hemisphere, and the day shone in all the mildness of the season, enveloped in serious thought and reverie, Albert walked forth among the surrounding shades. "Happy, ye freeborn sons of Columbia," said he, "liberty and plenty now bless your domestic retirements,--War, devastation and wide-wasting rapine have fled your peaceful sh.o.r.es. No dread of destruction to disturb your uninterrupted tranquillity; the exercise of laudable industry can again bring home to each family competency and repose." The clear cerulean sky added a soft beauty to the adjacent landscapes, as he listlessly wandered along the beach. The idle murmuring of the waves upon the sandy sh.o.r.e, the confused gabbling of the waterfowl, and the near view of the full-spread vessel majestically advancing over the white-capped billows, that advanced and receded in gentle monotony, tended to soothe the lone bosom to calmness and quietude.

The day ended, and calm evening drew on. The silver rays of the full-orbed moon shed a majesty on each surrounding object. The scene appeared in solemn grandeur; the dusky forest reflected a yellow radiance; and the rolling wonders of the heavens glittered over the head, while awful stillness reigned, interrupted only by the strains of the night-bird, whose melodious notes served to soothe the heart to harmony.

Albert returned home with a leisurely step, his feelings were raised in devotional grat.i.tude to that beneficent Being, on whom we depend for every present and future felicity, and who had surrounded us with so many blessings, that conspire to compose the mind to calmness and serenity.

CHAPTER x.x.x.

Ceux qui ne sont gens de bien qu'en apparence--sont obliges de se contraindre, beaucoup, et de garder de grandes mesures, afin de pa.s.ser pour se qu'ils ne sont pas.

Alida ruminated on her lonely situation. She reflected on former days, and the many happy hours that had gone by for ever, when the roses of health had arrayed her cheeks, and gay thought had filled her fancy, and every object was decked with the charms of fascination, when her heart was unacquainted with sorrow, and experienced serenity and happiness without alloy. She deplored the loss of a kind father; in him she was deprived of a friend, who could never be again supplied to her, and in whose society her mind was in a constant progressive state of improvement. His filial affection, his kindness, his watchful endeavours for her welfare, were evinced by a careful anxiety and pains to enlighten her mind with those qualities and acquirements, that would be most conducive to enlarge her sphere of usefulness in life, and furnish her with the means of rational pleasure, and to blend with her personal appearance the more fascinating charms of a well-improved understanding.

She mourned his loss at a residence where every object recalled him continually to her remembrance. She was wholly absorbed in melancholy, and amid these sad ideas that agitated her bosom alternately, Bonville arrived from the neighbouring village, and her attention was for a time diverted, and she was relieved from a train of painful reflections. Her brother had a long conversation with him respecting Theodore, and wondered how it happened that his friend Raymond had never received any intelligence from him.

Bonville seemed much embarra.s.sed at these observations of Albert, and it was some length of time before he made any reply. Then biting his lips, and putting on an air of displeasure, he said that he had actually thought of going to England himself, to trace him out, and ascertain the cause of his strange conduct. Then a.s.suming a look of insignificance, accompanied with several speeches in double entendre, he remained in sullen silence.

The conduct of Theodore certainly, thought Alida, is mysterious and singular, and his long silence is truly unaccountable, and the idea of ever meeting him again with these different impressions, that at present bore sway over her mind, agitated her greatly. In happier days, when her hopes had rested on him in full confidence, she thought herself sufficiently strong to bear every other evil; but to be a.s.sured of his inconstancy, was an idea she could scarcely endure.

Although Albert might decidedly be called a person of discernment, still he had not yet fully discovered the deceptive powers of Bonville, whose many evil propensities were in a manner concealed, by a condescending courtesy and affability; though his mind inherited ill-nature and sarcasm in the extreme.

The sprightliness of his manners, mingled with a certain degree of humour and generous sentiments, occasionally mingling with his discourse, threw a veil over his imperfections, and excited one's admiration.

Albert thought him ungenerous for many scandalous a.s.sertions concerning Theodore, and he still hoped he might again arrive on his native sh.o.r.es, and be able to answer all suggestions to his disadvantage.

Alida had never discerned his real character, therefore she reposed full confidence in all he said. His behaviour to her was respectful, and his exterior extremely prepossessing. He appeared all goodness and benevolence, and ever expressed the most generous sentiments towards those he pretended to censure.

These deceitful appearances were joined with a semblance of piety; and he could at any time make himself appear to advantage, by the display of a variety of superficial knowledge. He was proud to excess, as if he really possessed qualities to be proud of. One would scarcely suppose that such a person could be capable of true attachment, but so it certainly was; that knowing the many imperfections of his own nature, caused him more deeply to revere the opposite qualities in Alida, and the idea of shortly gaining her hand, carried his senses to such a pitch of enthusiasm, that it would not be thought strange to suppose, that the disappointment of his pride would overwhelm him with lasting dismay.

The superior excellence of Theodore furnished a mark for the calumny of Bonville, supposing his own success depended on the disparagement of the other. Thus envy is usually led to asperse what it cannot imitate; and the little mind scandalizes the pre-eminence of its neighbour, and endeavours to depreciate the good qualities that it cannot attain to.

Thus the distempered eye is impatient of prevailing brightness, and by attempting to observe the lucid object, inadvertently betrays its own weakness; and persons of their unhappy complexion, regard all praises conferred upon another, as derogatory from their own value. And a person without merit may live without envy; but who would wish to escape it on these terms!