Afterlife. Part 13

Jules.

Mel wrote back: Julie- Sometimes, I believe in just about everything.

Open mind, sez me.

Mel Then, one from her mother that sent her over the edge: Dear Juliet, I found this online. Did you know that between 1970 and 1995, the U.S. government spent more than $20 million on research about psychics? They called it "remote viewing," and it was to find weapons and bunkers in wartime, during the Cold War and after. They set up testing programs here. New York, Los Angeles, Washington, and Chicago. I can send you a link to the article if you want. Why don't you ask his parents if he had any psychic apt.i.tude? Or maybe I can research some more. You know, I belong to a group that meets sometimes. They know about psychic stuff more than I do. I could call Alice in New York. She worked on that psychic hotline. I bet she'd know something. Let me know. I always knew Hut had more to him than met the eye.

Julie deleted the email before she read the rest. Then, she just blocked her mother's email address so that she'd get no more emails from her.

3.

In early August, Julie Hutchinson got a call from Shakespeare & Company, the bookstore in the city. She had forgotten all about the book-time had both stood still to some extent and had flown, and between the legal wrangle she'd been dealing with, and getting the kids to settle in to a normal day without their father, then out of school for the summer, and balancing her work with her therapy sessions, the last thing she'd been thinking about was a book she'd ordered in some kind of fugue state after Hut's death.

"What's it called?" she asked on the phone. "The Life Beyond. It's by the TV psychic. Michael Diamond," the clerk told her. "It's been hard to get in stock because the publisher went under, plus he's pretty popular with his cult audience." It's by the TV psychic. Michael Diamond," the clerk told her. "It's been hard to get in stock because the publisher went under, plus he's pretty popular with his cult audience."

The call about the book somehow pulled her back.

4.

Before she drove into the city, she took the manila envelope out again, pouring its contents onto her bed. She lay next to them-wallet, watch, keys. Flipped through each key and could name them all-but two.

Two keys, one to a doork.n.o.b, one to a deadbolt. Two keys, one with the name of a building in Manhattan engraved lightly into it.

The other, with a number: 66S.

Sixty-Six-S. Sixty-Success. Sixty-s.e.x-ess.

She had not ventured into New York City since her third visit to the precinct where McGuane had met her. Not for at least two months.

5.

"Are you a fan?" the clerk asked, as she pa.s.sed the package over the counter to Julie.

"I've never heard of him. My mother recommended I read it."

"Oh," the clerk said. "I thought you might believe in that kind of stuff."

Julie glanced at the bag, then looked inside at the book. "He's a psychic?"

The clerk nodded. "I can't tell if he's real or it's all bulls.h.i.t. He does readings with people on TV. Sort of like John Edward or James Van Praagh, or-what's that woman's name? Sybil something. When I was a little kid it was Jeanne Dixon. Like them. Only not quite the same. His books never really go over big, but he's got that loyal following. His show's on really late at night- maybe at one in the morning, on cable. I guess he's not that popular. I saw the show maybe once. Usually the people who buy his books always look a little sad to me. But you don't."

"My mother," Julie grinned, shaking her head lightly. "Now she's the gullible one. She believes in practically everything."

Then, she glanced at the display of books near the cash register. One seemed to jump out at her. "Oops, there's another one I want to get." She leaned over, and pulled the book off the shelf. Then, she slid it onto the register's counter.

"Oh, I love his books," the clerk said. "He's very funny."

"I'm an old friend of his," Julie said, smiling. "And this one, too," she added, grabbing a trade paperback off the counter. "I might as well buy up the whole store."

"Be my guest," the clerk said as she rang up the purchases.

6.

It was a blisteringly hot, humid day, and she wore a skirt that felt too revealing, but without hose and wearing sandals and a light top, she felt less as if she were going to melt on the sidewalk. She strolled over to Washington Square Park, and went to one of the green benches along its outer rim, brushed off the dirt with the edge of her hand, and sat down. The place was nearly empty, and there was something comforting about it. She opened the bag, and drew the books out.

The first one was by Joe Perrin, her old pal, and she turned to the back to see his picture. He had used one from his late 20s-he had an ordinary niceness to him, and hair that was a little too long and fell over his left eye in a Veronica Lake send-up. She grinned, thinking of him laughing at using the picture. The credit for the photo was Alicia Caniglia. Julie wasn't certain, but she thought she might've been there when Alicia snapped the picture. She recalled a day down in Battery Park, along the waterfront, and Joe saying he wanted to capture his youth while he had it so that when he became a famous writer, strangers would l.u.s.t after him.

She missed him a lot, just looking at the picture, remembering days like that, of dreams of the future. Dreams of what was around the corner, of what could change in their lives, in the twinkling of an eye. She read the bio: Joe Perrin is a thirtysomething writer who lives in New York City with his life partner, Rick Girardo, and a German Shepherd named Dutch. His first novel, A Perry Street Affair, A Perry Street Affair, was nominated for a Lambda Award, and his second novel, was nominated for a Lambda Award, and his second novel, View from the Pier View from the Pier, was optioned for the movies. He is currently at work on his fourth novel.

She read the first line from Joe's book, aloud but quietly, as if she could conjure his voice from it. "In 1873, a surgeon named Edward Whistler walked away from his family and children and his successful practice of medicine in London's Regent's Row, and caught a ship sailing for a small island in the South Pacific, and there, fell in love with a man named after a turbulent volcano."

She could hear Joe's voice in the words.

She savored the moment, and then closed the book, putting it back in the bag. She brought the second book out. This was a novel by one of her favorite writers, M.J. Rose, but she quickly put that one back in the bag, making a mental note to loan it to Mel first, who devoured her novels.

Then, the third book.

A white cover, and a man's face. Michael Diamond looked like he had been a geeky kid who had grown up to put one over on a population of Americans who wanted to believe in anything, so long as someone made it all sound true. He was not cute, and he was not attractive in the least, to her, but there was something in his eyes-in the photograph-that intrigued her. She opened the book, skimmed the table of contents, Who I Am, The Spiritual Side of Life, Death Is A Gift, Cases of Speaking With The Beyond... Who I Am, The Spiritual Side of Life, Death Is A Gift, Cases of Speaking With The Beyond...

She flipped to the opening chapter: Exposing Lies, Seeking Truth Exposing Lies, Seeking Truth.

7.

From The Life Beyond: The Life Beyond: I want to add a note here about phonies and grifters and con men who get involved in the schemes of the psychic world. I do not mean the well-meaning ones who believe they have ability. I'm talking about the ones who are getting rich by spreading a lie about the afterlife that they themselves know is false. Or at best, that they can't possibly know. They are too good at their jobs, frankly. They'll be on television or in front of an audience at some seminar, and they'll be so good at what they do that one is hard-pressed to discover the trickery involved.

First, let me say, if there were a h.e.l.l, they'd all burn there, in my opinion. Why? Because they're giving false hope to people, they're adding to the delusions people have, and they're intentionally doing it. I won't name names here, but you can guess who the culprits are. They can speak in front of an audience of a hundred or more people, and somehow, they manage to know family names, and seemingly secret things, about these families. The truth is, they usually have done their homework.

First, most people coming to see a psychic to talk to a recently pa.s.sed loved one-or even someone who died years ago-are put on a waiting list to see the psychic. Why? Because the supposed psychic or his research team needs to find out about the people on his or her list. If you have a relative who died in the past, chances are there's an obituary that can be tracked down. My own father died several years ago, and if you looked up his name online or through public records, you'd eventually find out that he was a Colonel in the Army, that he served in Viet Nam, that he worked in military intelligence and then as a liaison in Bosnia even in retirement. You'd know the name of his brothers, of his parents, of his children and even how he died, because contributions were made to the American Cancer Society. You'd know his date and place of birth. You'd perhaps have a handful of names to research further, too. The internet today is such that people can trace entire family trees going back centuries if they want to. How easy is that for a psychic? All the psychic has to do is spend thirty minutes or so researching one or two families who are showing up for his audience, and then he gets up in front of the audience and says, "I'm talking to someone who says he has a son here. He's showing me something about-a helicopter? Or a plane? Some kind of military plane? I'm getting the sense that he was a soldier of some kind. An officer? But there's something about Bosnia, too. Does this sound like anyone here?" And sheep that I am, I'd raise my hand and gasp and say, "It's my dad!"

When in fact, it's simply research on or off the internet, which anyone can access if they know how.

Why would I want to expose fake psychics? After all, there will be those who believe I'm a fake as well.

Here's why: I believe it is the greatest human evil to delude a single human being with an idea that is known to be untrue. To play into another's delusion is equally evil. But to make a profit from that, well, some might say it's the American way, but I'd say it's the antiAmerican way, and no one should give people like that their business.

When I was a boy, I was poked and prodded by wellmeaning people trying to understand why a kid of seven could predict the outcome of a card game ten times out of ten. Or how that same kid would be able to locate missing objects at a great distance. Or why that kid managed to understand what someone in contact with him had been thinking.

All I can tell you is: it wasn't through practice. It wasn't a trick. It wasn't a fancy way of cheating people out of their money.

It was a genuine talent, and based on my research, it's an inherited ability. On my television show, I don't pretend to talk to the ghosts of the dead. I don't pretend to call up spirits and get them to tell Aunt Mildred that she needs to move on with her life.

I am not a mystic. If you want a mystic, go get another book. Find a guru to follow. Or a priest. I am not here to tell you about G.o.d. Or G.o.ds. Or G.o.ddess. Or the Hereafter. The life beyond is about the life beyond the borders that you impose on your mind. It is about learning to tap into talent you may already have that has not been developed. The brain is the most underused muscle in the body, in my opinion. We lift weights, we do aerobics, we go for jogs, or we swim, but we do not take our mind and exercise it, stretch it, allow it to grow.

I was born with an ability. It may be like an ability you have-only you don't know how to switch it on. It is not magical. It is not a religious experience. It is an aspect to human life that has been untapped for centuries because the very thing I most believe in-Reason-has decreed that anything that does not make immediate sense is impossible. Yet we know now, via science, of the sub-quantum realm of existence-of being able to divide molecular structures to the left, and find that similar structures to the right respond at the same time, though they are untouched. Is this magic? At one time, it was considered such. Soon, I suspect, it will be part of scientific inquiry.

The human mind is an untouchable realm. We can test it, zap it, watch it disintegrate, observe those who suffer from its disorders, recognize a first-rate mind, but the one thing that we have never been able to do is define its limits.

Well, my friends, there are no limits to the human mind. It is a frontier of infinite proportions. And it's time we began exploration of it.

I mind hunt. And what that means is: I sit with people, I get to know them as quickly as possible, and I delve into their thoughts, briefly. Perhaps this is a molecular occurrence. Perhaps it's simply a strong intuition. For me, it's a talent. I would guess that 5% of the U.S. population has this talent. Perhaps it's as low as 3%. I suspect a thousand years ago, it was a stronger talent in the population. I suspect that despite the cloud of superst.i.tion over the ancient world, one of the reasons for the miracle-makers, the professional fortune-tellers and witches, may have been that this talent existed in gene pools and among families, and predetermined a certain unusual life for the bearer of the talent.

I have known others with similar talents. I have worked beside them. To us, it is simply ordinary. It is not supernatural. It is no more remarkable than if one of us were left-handed, or red-headed, or had one eye flecked with blue and the other with green.

But I've yet to encounter a talent that could genuinely speak with the dead and the dearly departed. I believe, truly, that these are the phonies of the psychic world. I wish I could deliver kinder, gentler news than that.

Beware of these fakers and con-men. I want you to believe, but not in something that I tell you to believe. Never believe in dogma for which you must pay. If you believe it, if you have your faith, that's your decision. But don't accept the easily-paid-for delusions of another.

I want you to go on the journey of your life and find your own treasure.

Do I believe in the life beyond?

Perhaps. I am not all-seeing, all-knowing. I don't make claims to fake authority. I am a seeker after wisdom and truth, as you are. I am living life as anyone would, but with an ability that arrived with me at my birth that might provide some insight for you, I hope.

But by naming this book The Life Beyond, The Life Beyond, I wanted to suggest the freedom each of us needs to feel from the chains of the past-whether the past is something tragic that occurred recently, or simply a template for all our future actions that needs to be modified so that we can change our future life. I do believe in spiritual awakenings. I believe in souls. I believe that there is something sacred about the threshold that exists between life and death. And I have been at the deathbed of people and have seen what mystics might call miracles, but what I would call natural phenomena when the soul leaves the body. I wanted to suggest the freedom each of us needs to feel from the chains of the past-whether the past is something tragic that occurred recently, or simply a template for all our future actions that needs to be modified so that we can change our future life. I do believe in spiritual awakenings. I believe in souls. I believe that there is something sacred about the threshold that exists between life and death. And I have been at the deathbed of people and have seen what mystics might call miracles, but what I would call natural phenomena when the soul leaves the body.

Where that soul goes is not within my field of understanding. I am not out to prove or disprove your G.o.d.

I truly doubt it is any human being's understanding. To the religious, it may be the peace that pa.s.ses all understanding. To the non-religious, it may be that the door that shuts us off from this life is enough to know for now.

As you continue reading my book, I hope you will travel with me on the journey of what I know from my psychic readings, from my experiences with remote viewing, and from my understanding of how to move from this life to what I hope will truly be, for you, the life beyond-beyond the petty anxieties, the wasted efforts, the small-mindedness of the everyday problems.

An interviewer once asked me: Do you believe in an afterlife?

I have to say: it's not a matter of belief. I know there is one. For, centuries ago, men dreamed of flying, but could not. And now, they can fly. So that means that in dreams, we can see all that is possible. Nothing within the limits of the human imagination and mind is impossible. If it were, we could not imagine it or dream it.

But what is the afterlife? I haven't yet been there- that I know of-but perhaps in exploring the human mind more fully, we can find the questions to ask of ourselves, of each other, as to where our journey continues, in the life beyond.

8.

Julie closed the book. She put it back in the bag, and folded the edges over. A woman, across the park, elderly and with a large, mean-looking mastiff, walked slowly, taking deliberate steps, as if she might fall at any moment. A long-haired young man of about twenty or so played guitar near the fountain rim, two or three friends sitting near him, singing along.

Julie then felt inside her bag, for the keys. Finally, she went to find the building on Rosetta Street.

Chapter Eleven.

1.

She'd narrowed it down to the block in Matt's videos, Rosetta Street, which was near Chelsea, but toward the water. With the heat turned up full blast, she was drenched by the time she wandered down to the end of the Village, and then just beyond it, made a left onto James Street, and then a right onto Rosetta.

She had that feeling of deja vu-remembering Matt's video, the cobblestone of the street-it was not quite as lovely as it had seemed in the video, for most of it was taken up with meat-packing plants, and there was that awful smell in the air of raw beef and something uglier. The sidewalks outside one of the buildings had just been hosed down. A few people walked along the opposite sidewalk, obviously using the street as a shortcut from one business meeting to another, or a lunch, or lives that she could only imagine.

Then she came to the sunken doorway of the building she had been dreading since she had first found the phone number and the keys.

She tried each key on the door of the building, but neither worked.

She sat on the edge of a stone pediment, just at the edge of the steps down to the front door.

She was about to leave, when a young overweight woman with a bundle of groceries stepped off the sidewalk, heading for the door. "Forget your key?"

"I'm apartment sitting." Julie thought it up quickly. She held up the two keys. "A friend's cat is inside there, very hungry at this point."

The young woman looked at her warily. Too innocently, she asked, "Which apartment?"