Accidentally On Purpose Part 20

"This isn't about my family, it's about you. I don't want you."

Even though I knew I didn't deserve him, it was still harsh. My smile instantly vanished and I took another involuntary step back.

"I thought if I gave you some time, you would make a decision," he started in a firm voice, but I could hear the anger and hurting behind it. "I thought you would stop stringing me along as a backup and really commit, but you haven't. You're still seeing Kyle."

I closed my eyes, dizzied and stunned and scared. I didn't give Luke any credit. I totally took him for a fool, but all along he could see right through me.

I didn't have a defense and I didn't think he wanted to hear my apologies yet, so I stayed quiet, head hung in shame, tears tickling my eyes and waited for him to berate me - rightfully so.

"I'm not sure which part bothers me the most, the fact that you've been lying for months or the fact that you thought I was too simple minded to see what was going on. I can't count how many times you've lied about where you were or who you were with, or the times that you climbed into my my bed still reeking of him. How many times have I kissed you and your mind was with him? I've given you opportunity after opportunity to come clean, but you never did." bed still reeking of him. How many times have I kissed you and your mind was with him? I've given you opportunity after opportunity to come clean, but you never did."

He made an exasperated sound and paced the floor for a moment and stopped inches from me.

"At least give me the courtesy of looking in my f.u.c.king face while I am talking," he said so quietly, it was terrifying.

I slowly raised my head and looked at his face. He looked so d.a.m.n angry, so d.a.m.n hurt.

"I looked like the biggest idiot at work, committing myself to the girl who was obviously f.u.c.king Kyle Sterling."

My mouth hung open, and I started to ask what he meant, but the look on his face suggested I stay quiet.

"Everyone knows, Emmy. Despite your sneaking around, people still know. You both think everyone else is too inferior and dumb to figure it out."

I shook my head, denying what he was saying. There was no way people could know. We took great precautions, didn't we?

"Don't you f.u.c.king shake your head," he grumbled through gritted teeth and pointed in my face. I backed up, but he just kept closing the gap until I was against the wall.

"You're more upset that everyone else knows than you are about me me knowing!" knowing!"

When he yelled, I jumped, hitting my head on the wall.

"No, that's not true," I argued, wiping at my tears.

"Like I can believe anything you say now!"

"I'm so sorry,"

"Maybe you are, but I don't forgive you. I can't even forgive myself for falling in love with you, knowing that you were Kyle's wh.o.r.e." He said the last word with such vehemence, I thought he must have injured his tongue in the process.

Luke was one of the most mild mannered people I knew. Even though he was in the right, his current state was something to fear. Looking in his eyes, I could see the absolute fury and pain swimming around. Just as I began to think it was time for me to go, Luke's fist landed in the drywall next to my head as he let out a scream of anger. I, too screamed, shocked, and afraid he would hit me, but instead he backed up. His hand was b.l.o.o.d.y, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Luke, your hand!" I reached for him, but he pulled away. "Let me at least help you take care of your hand," I insisted. I approached again, cautiously, and this time he let me take a careful hold of his injured hand.

Silently, he allowed me to clean and bandage his hand, staring at me the whole time. When I finished, I was reluctant to let go, and dared to lightly touch his wrist.

"I didn't know how to let go of either one of you," I whispered.

"Fortunately for you, I made that decision for you," he said, still angry, but now I could definitely detect sadness.

I felt like such an a.s.shole. I didn't feel like I deserved to really cry, but I could not stop myself. The floodgates broke broke and I was trying to stay standing, as my whole body just went weak. and I was trying to stay standing, as my whole body just went weak.

I gently released Luke's hand and started to turn away, but he caught me with his good hand and pulled me into a teary, desperate, heart breaking kiss. When he broke it off, he held my face in his hands, wiping away tears with his thumbs. He had tears of his own, but I was afraid to touch him again.

"Listen to me," he said. "I don't ever want to see you after today. Don't call me, don't text me, don't email me. Whatever relationships you were building with my family, it's done. They've already cut you off at my request.

"I love you, Emmy, but you f.u.c.king broke my heart. I know I am part to blame, I know, but..." He paused, stared at me really hard. "I hope Kyle Sterling rips your heart out of your chest and makes you choke on it."

Chapter Twenty-Seven

The week after Labor Day always marks the beginning of a very busy period at Sterling Corp. I can't pretend to understand the logistics of why that is, I just know that my work load builds up quickly, so that by the time Halloween arrives, I have triple the work I would normally have. Usually, I shut up and take the work and Kyle's bulls.h.i.t and fight my way to the finish line (with plenty of alcohol in between), but this year I wasn't really feeling it.

"I need an a.s.sistant," I told Kyle one morning, handing him his coffee and a stack of files.

"Use Eliza," he said, not even looking up at me.

"Eliza has enough work to do for j.e.r.k.-.o.f.f. Jeoff. You have to hire someone new, just to a.s.sist me."

"You usually do pretty well on your own." He wasn't even paying attention to me really. He was blowing me off.

"Kyle, can you please pay attention?"

"I'm listening,"

I wanted to throw his coffee in his face.

"I need an a.s.sistant," I repeated, sighing.

Finally, he looked up at me, perplexed.

"Why again?"

"Because I am only one person with the work load of six people."

"But you always..."

"I know what I always do!" I snapped. "But not this time." I shook my head and sighed.

It dawned on him, finally. I could tell by the irritated expression on his face.

"You have to stay focused, Emmy. You can't keep thinking about him and what happened or what could have been."

"Focused or not, I'm always overwhelmed. Every year. This year is one of the busiest I've ever seen and it's only the last week of September. You know what my work load is like without a busy season added in," I argued. "I need help, and I need a new person. We can't spare anyone else."

Kyle looked at me for a long time before speaking.

"Okay," he relented. "I'll sign off on hiring up to three new people on a temporary basis and if productivity rises we will keep them. If nothing changes, they're out."

"Thanks," I turned to leave.

"Em," he called. "Come back here a minute. Why don't you look satisfied?"

"I am," I said, not convincingly.

"You're not," he said quietly. "Maybe we need a getaway?"

I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone was milling around close enough to hear. Ever since Luke told me that everyone knew, I've been extra careful not to be caught in any compromising positions, or conversations.

"We're too busy," I said.

"Yeah, but we're not as busy as we will be in a month. Let's go now while we can."

"To where?"

"Mexico?"

"No. Too far."

"Nowhere is too far when we can fly."

"We don't have to go anywhere," I shrugged.

"Yes, we do."

"How about Miami?"

"Why Miami?"

"I have a friend down there, kind of."

"Kind of?"

"He used to hang out with my cousin, Tabby, dated her best friend for a long time. I ran into him in the summer while he was visiting."

"Oh," he leaned back in his seat. "You've never mentioned him before."

"Wasn't worth mentioning before," I rolled my eyes at his jealousy, which was so hypocritical.

"If that's where you want to go, we'll go."

"It is."

"I'll make reservations."

"Good. Talk to you later. Send May an email, please. Now."

"Yep."

I felt a little better, knowing I'd have Kyle all to myself for a couple of days, but honestly, I was more excited about hiring new people.

I bypa.s.sed my desk and took the walk to the HR department. My cousin Mayson worked there, a job she obtained by my recommendation a couple of years back. I found her at her desk, seriously enjoying a chocolate bar. Even though she was...curvy, or full figured, I, nor anyone else in our family ever mentioned her junk food habits. At least she was eating, unlike when she was younger...those were some dark and scary years.

"d.i.c.khead just emailed me," she said, barely glancing up. "Write out what you want the ad to say and I'll post it in the three big papers."

"I don't want it posted in all of the papers. Can't you just post it on the company site? I don't have time to weed through all of those resumes."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever. I'm so glad to put my PR degree to good use for you."

"At least you have a job. Shut up."

She started to slowly spin in her chair while I wrote out what I wanted the ad to say.

"Tell your mother to stop calling me," Mayson said.

"That would require me talking to her and I don't want to talk to her."

"She keeps trying to give me s.e.x tips for the s.e.x I'm so not having. She should be giving you the s.e.x tips."

"Trust me, she does."

"How is he in bed?" She stopped spinning and stared at me questioningly.

I stared back at her. "Do you really want to know?"

"No," she made a sour face. "My stomach is churning just thinking about it."

Mayson, much like I did at one time, hated Kyle with a pa.s.sion. She knew about our relationship, but not through the grapevine like everyone else. She actually caught us making out. May rarely dropped by unannounced, but she was literally in my neighborhood. Kyle and I were standing in the kitchen, totally tongue tied to each other, when I heard a shriek, startling us apart.

"Oh...my...G.o.d!" Mayson had yelled. "Not him him!"

"What are you doing here?" I cried.

"I was in the neighborhood!"

"You can't tell anyone, Mayson," I plead.

"I would never tell anyone your personal business, Emmy," she was hurt by my command. I knew she could be trusted, but I had said it in a panic.