Absent Shadows: Destiny Part 22

'This really is a dilemma ... and I've been mulling over for weeks, Lili. You're not a fling. But our worlds are just so different. These past few weeks have been some of the best times I've ever had ... and it's been like we've always known each other. But I can't see how we can continue this.'

So, maybe it was as hard for him as it was for me. Maybe, when I thought he was angry with me, it was that he was just as frustrated by the impossibility of our situation as I was. Maybe he really did love me.

I reached up and pulled his head down to mine, and kissed him.

'If you love me, Sam, then there will be a way,' I whispered, hoping to bring back a smile to his face.

'I do love you. Always remember that, no matter what happens.' He looked a little less sullen as he said the words, but the joy was gone from his eyes.

He kissed me again, then walked over to Tom and punched him in the arm. 'Gotta go, mate,' he said loudly, then ruffled Claire's hair and said, 'sorry', as he dragged Tom into the car.

As they pulled away into the traffic, both Claire and I sighed. She smiled, or maybe I should say beamed, while I fought back tears. But we were both sad to see them leave.

'Now,' she said firmly, 'I promised Ian some c.o.c.ktails when they get back from golf, and I saw a bottle shop on the corner. How about we go buy a bottle of rum? Do they drink rum? I can get some wine too maybe, and how about some nuts or something? We can sit out on the balcony and watch the sunset.'

'Whatever you think, Claire. I suppose I could use a drink right about now.'

The following days were quite busy. Ian had organised to borrow a boat from a friend so we sailed, swam and snorkelled for five days. After that we took a long drive up into what Debs called the hinterland, and then the following day we hired horses and went for an all-day ride that took us into some beautiful bushland. Then when Debs and Ian decided to go golfing again, Claire insisted she and I should visit a theme park. I chose the one where we got to walk with a tiger, and have our photos taken with her. It was awesome.

But even though we were keeping busy and we were doing fun things, I couldn't stop thinking about Sam. I was torn between being grateful to Debs and Ian for taking me on this trip, and resenting them for taking me away from Sam. I wanted to call him, to hear that he missed me as much as I missed him. But I couldn't make my fingers pick up the phone. So instead, I replayed our last conversation over and over again in my mind. And as each day pa.s.sed, I began to wonder if he'd actually said that he loved me, or if I'd only imagined it because it was what I'd wanted to hear.

* CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE *.

When the buzzer rang I felt my heart skip a beat. I'd already changed my outfit three times ... was there time to change again? Was the little black dress I'd borrowed from Debs too much? I felt awkward-not sure what to do with my hands.

Moments later I opened the door, and gasped softly. Dressed in black pants and a silk shirt that was nearly the same colour as his eyes, Sam looked far too good to be real. His dark hair was slicked back neatly, and a subtle hint of fragrance that reminded me of summer teased my nostrils. I tried to speak, but when a sensual smile touched his lips, I nearly choked-no sound came out of my mouth. He looked, and smelled, better than any man I'd ever seen.

Debs and Ian were behind me now, inviting Sam to come in. I was grateful when they stood there catching up, as it took the focus off me, allowing me time to come to grips with my sudden case of nerves.

'They make such a lovely couple,' Debs was saying as she gently pushed me over to stand closer to Sam. 'Don't you agree, Ian? Their looks complement each other so nicely. Grab the camera, will you? I'd like a photo of them together like this ... all dressed up.'

I felt my cheeks burn as I blushed, but Sam just reached across and took my hand in his cool one, and squeezed it gently. I looked up at him, and when our eyes met, my nervousness seemed to melt away. I sighed, deciding that maybe I didn't have to solve everything this minute. Maybe I could just enjoy what would no doubt be a wonderful evening. I could think about everything else tomorrow.

The drive to the gardens took just a few minutes. As we walked up to the top of the hill, Sam took my hand. I wasn't sure if it was his vampire charms, or the beautiful sight ahead of us, but my nerves settled and all thoughts about leaving Australia pushed to the back of my mind for processing later.

Fairy lights were everywhere-in the trees, and all around the edges of the small marquee that had been placed just near Sam's tree. In the middle of the marquee stood a table covered with a golden cloth. Upon the table was a large punch bowl filled with a pink mixture, and a tiered cake that looked a bit like a wedding cake, only without the bride and groom on top. Long stemmed gla.s.ses, cake plates and tiny forks finished off the table.

Soft cla.s.sical music played from a stereo at the back of the marquee, and Michael and Crystal were already out on the makeshift dance floor. They moved as one, Crystal stunning in a golden sari, her long black hair floating gently behind her whenever Michael spun her around. And Michael-well, I'd never seen him look so handsome. He sure 'scrubbed up well' as the Aussies would say.

Tom stood at the edge of the marquee, watching them, his arm draped casually around Claire's shoulders. I smiled as I met Claire's eyes, thrilled that Tom had invited her. Her dress, which was no doubt by some top designer, completely brought out the blue of her eyes. She looked gorgeous, as did Tom.

Erranase stood on Tom's opposite side, and just past them stood Henry and Elizabeth. I could only a.s.sume that Claire couldn't see Henry and Elizabeth, and hoped that Erranase knew that too.

As we walked up, Erranase nodded briefly and then leaned across Tom to ask Claire to dance. I was nearly as impressed by the way she accepted as I was in her ability to dance. She'd obviously had cla.s.sical dance lessons, for she waltzed lightly in his arms, not once missing a step. Tom looked mesmerized as he watched them.

'I'm so glad you invited Claire,' I said to Tom as we walked up.

'Yeah-I figured it would be okay, so long as Henry and Elizabeth behave themselves,' he laughed.

'They will,' said Sam, turning me to face him as he spoke. 'Come, dance with me.'

My heart did a couple of back flips, but I managed to smile as I said, 'I'm sorry, but really, I can't dance like that.'

'We don't have to dance like that. You'll be fine,' he said, a smile once more lighting up his handsome face.

He took my hand and I followed. I was stiff at first, but relaxed as we just held onto each other; barely moving our feet we swayed to the music.

I could see that Henry and Elizabeth were having a go at dancing too, although Elizabeth really just flittered around in her usual dancing style, while Henry did his own version of a solo waltz.

Erranase reluctantly gave way when Tom cut in, and then went over to the marquee to stand at the table. After we danced through a few songs, we walked over to join him, and after a few moments Crystal appeared. She looked at Erranase and although I didn't hear her speak, I think she must have said something to him as he excused himself politely.

'You two looked so lovely together just then,' she said, her eyes sparkling. 'It's like you were made for each other. You know that, don't you?'

I think Sam would have blushed if he were capable of it. I know I did.

'You'll work this out,' she said, her voice sounding wise and kind. 'It may not seem possible right now, but all will be as it should be.'

I looked into her eyes, hoping to find a solution in them. I shook my head, and smiled, fighting back tears that were threatening to escape. 'I wish I had your confidence, Crystal.'

She took one of my hands in hers, then took Sam's in her other hand and spoke softly so that only we could hear her. 'I know you have both been torturing yourselves over the obstacles you face-time, and our very different worlds. But for now, Lili, you must go home. You need to close off that part of your life that waits for you in California. It may take you a week, or a month, or even a year, but when you return, all will become clear. Stop worrying about it, and just enjoy yourselves for now. The love you have for each other will never die. It's the same as what Michael and I have-everlasting. The love may change, and grow, and evolve over time, but it will always be there. I can see it. You shouldn't doubt it.'

I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly I could see the future clearly. Why had I been making it so much harder than it needed to be? I mean, what was I, some sort of drama queen? The solution was quite simple really. I would go home and talk to Mom. She'd understand. Then I'd come back. What could be easier? Why hadn't I seen it that way? Just because I would leave for a time, didn't mean I was leaving forever. And when I returned, we would just enjoy our time together. We'd have years and years before the age difference started to matter. We'd sort something out during that time. It didn't need to be solved today.

I looked at Sam and I could see relief in his eyes as well. Crystal's soothing voice and words must have worked the same wonders on him that they'd worked on me. The decision was made: I would go home-for a time. And when I returned, things would become clear.

We drank, we ate cake, and we danced. And each time we danced, I felt like I was dancing on clouds. My troubles had melted away. It was magical. Or at least it was until Tom came over and thumped Sam hard in the back.

'Mate, it's time to go. Enough of this lovey dovey stuff, eh,' he laughed as he said it, but then hit Sam again. 'You said you wouldn't mind taking Claire back for me, and I've gotta start making the rounds if we're gonna give Michael the night off. Erranase said he'd take the marquee and lights down and me ... well, I'm off.'

Sam shook his head, but he was grinning. 'Sure, you take off. What did you tell Claire? So I don't stick my foot in my mouth in the car.'

'Oh, I just told her I was feeling sick,' Tom said, putting on a fake queasy look, 'that it must have been something I'd eaten. You're driving her home.'

'No worries, that's fine,' replied Sam. 'Lili, why don't you go over and talk to Claire for a moment, I'll just see if Erranase needs a hand cleaning up, and then we can go.'

As I made my way over to Claire I kept an eye on Sam. I could see him smiling at the old vampire. Perhaps he was thanking him for being so gracious all evening. Erranase really could be quite the gentleman. Funny, even after what he'd done to them, I don't think either Sam or Tom held anything against him; instead they both seemed to have a great deal of respect for him.

It was an interesting world, this one; and one that was becoming more and more familiar to me each day. I felt a slight shiver run down my spine as I recalled Crystal's words about the strength of the love she saw in Sam and me. I was so grateful for her encouragement-giving me courage to believe in what I was feeling.

'She's beautiful, isn't she?' asked Claire.

So deep in my own thoughts, I'd nearly forgotten she was standing next to me. 'Crystal? Oh, yes, she certainly is.'

'Eurasian, I suppose, with those exotic eyes and beautiful skin. But there's something else ... something sort of ... I don't know, almost magical about her ... don't you think?'

'Yes, I know what you mean. I feel it too,' I replied, with heartfelt sincerity. I had admired Crystal from the moment I met her, but never so much as I did tonight.

'I wonder what it is about her ...'

I was saved from answering when Sam walked up. He was ready to go.

* CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR *.

My last few days in Australia were crazy. It was like I was on this ma.s.sive emotional roller-coaster. One moment I would be calm, remembering Crystal's soothing words, feeling confident with the path I'd chosen to follow. Then my heart would start to race, and I would wonder at my own sanity. Vampires? Ghosts? Was this really going to be my life? I would spend hours convincing myself that this was what I really did want, only to find myself beginning to question whether I was good enough. Was my love for Sam strong enough to hold him? Would I able be able to help the ghosts the way Elizabeth did? Did I really have what it was going to take?

Round and round I went, first questioning my decision and then justifying my choices. In the end, I just wanted to get on with it ... go home, do the things that had to be done, and come back. I wanted my new life to start so I could prove that I really could do it.

In a few minutes Sam was picking me up. We'd take one last trip to our beach, and spend a few hours together. He'd decided against coming to the airport with us tomorrow ... we'd say goodbye today.

When the buzzer sounded, I jumped. I opened the door and there he stood, in jeans and a brown leather jacket. He looked more rugged than I'd ever seen him. His hair was tousled and his eyes were exceptionally bright. His face appeared more pale than normal. I had this sudden urge to throw myself at him and never let go. But instead, I took a deep breath and joined him in the corridor.

We drove to the beach in silence, then walked along the waterline, hand in hand. Neither of us spoke for ages.

'You'll ring me or text me every day,' Sam finally said.

I nodded and swallowed hard before I spoke. 'Sure, of course.'

'And you know that if there's anything you need, you just have to let me know, right?'

'Okay.'

'You'll only be a flight away-it's not that big a deal really. I mean, I could always come over ... to help with things ... if you need me too. You know that, right?'

'Yeah ... I mean, thanks Sam.'

He seemed nervous, and somehow that gave me strength. It was like I had to be strong for both of us. I squeezed his hand, and smiled.

'I love you, Lili. And that won't ever change. But ...'

Why is there always a 'but'? My heart sank as I waited. It seemed forever before he finished the sentence.

'... then again ... when you get there ... if you feel that you can go back to your life the way it was ... before ... you know, without me ... then I want you to do that. I mean, if you find someone, or something, that means enough to you that you forget to text me ... or ring me ... of course I'll be happy for you.'

'Oh, Sam, that isn't going to happen. I'm going to miss you every morning when I wake up, every minute while I'm awake, and every night when I try to fall asleep. I love you. Don't you go forgetting that.'

The waves splashed up at our feet, and the wind whipped the salt spray across my face. It was icy cold and the sky was getting darker by the minute. As moments of silence ticked by, a lump started growing in my throat and it was more than just the wind bringing tears to my eyes.

Eventually we headed back toward the car, and when we got there Sam stopped and took me into his arms, holding me tightly.

'I love you, Lili McIntyre. More than anything ... But is that enough? I mean, I can't ask you to give up your life to be with me ... to live in my world.' The look on his face nearly broke my heart-there was so much pain there.

'But you aren't asking me to give up anything. I'm telling you that I want to be with you and that you mean more to me than anything else ever could.'

'But ...'

I put my hand to his lips, and said 'shush', then got on my tiptoes and kissed him again before speaking.

'Sam, two months ago, I was lost. I'd decided I could no longer study something just to make my mother happy. And I'd ditched the high school sweetheart who wanted to control my life. But I had no idea what I wanted. Now I do. I want you. But it's not only you. I want to help the ghosts, the way Elizabeth does. And I want to be here, in Australia, where my father was born. This is where I want to be, Sam. It's where I belong. I know that now. You aren't asking me to give up anything. On the contrary, you're giving me the opportunity to live my life the way I want to live it ... with you.'

'Well, when you put it that way ...' he said, reaching down to brush some hair away from my cheek.

Then he smiled, and the frown between his brows faded, and his eyes began to twinkle. I threw my arms around him and squeezed as hard as I could, wishing I never had to let go.

'I'll be back before you know it,' I whispered.

'And I'll be waiting for you. It will be as if you'd never gone.'

We kissed again, and this time it was hard and pa.s.sionate and tasted salty as a few tears ran down my face. He held me tight and for a moment time stopped and there was nothing in the world except for us.

I stepped back, wiped my face, and put on a brave smile. I stood there, perfectly still, wanting to capture this moment in my memory so I could recall it over and over-to last me until I returned. This man ... this vampire ... this gorgeous, charming, honourable, courageous, protective being ... wanted me ... Lili McIntyre ... and there was nothing that would keep me from him. I could see my future so clearly in that instant and I knew that I deserved him, and that us being together was right-that it was my destiny, and nothing could keep us apart.

end.