Abram's Daughters: The Betrayal Part 9

"You're upset, that's all. You don't mean it."

"Oh, but I do."

"Sadie ... sister, don't you want to obey the vows you made to the church ... to G.o.d?"

"Don't fret over me. The covenant I made was false."

"I fear that's even worse."

"Let G.o.d be the judge of that."

Leah felt the breath go out of her. "I can't stand by and watch the brethren put the Bann on you. Oh, Sadie ... I won't!"

"How are you goin' to stop them?"

"By pesterin' you till you agree to do what is right. Wouldn't you do the same if the tables were turned? Wouldn't you shake me but gut... help me see the error of my ways?"

"You're not me. Be ever so glad. ..." She was quiet for a time, poking at the dirt with her toe. Then she said, "I'm countin' on you to keep your promise about my baby. Naomi thinks she has something to confess 'bout me, but it's you and Aunt Lizzie who know the worst of it."

Leah wished once more she'd never made her covenant with Sadie.

Again she opened her mouth and tried to explain her sense of urgency. "Naomi insists she wants to present herself to the Lord G.o.d without spot or blemish so she can partake in holy baptism."

"Am I s'posed to believe Naomi's motives are pure?" Sadie laughed bitterly. "You should've seen her with them English fellas."

"But Naomi's sins have been forgiven. She's put her wild days behind her."

119lOelrayal " "us hard to believe."

"Slu' hopes the same for you, sister," Leah whispered. "I I iinw this for truth."

"Naomi can't save me ... neither can Preacher. No one in I ton't you see? It's too late for me...." Sadie began to i i V i ilancing at the house, Leah hoped Mamma or the twins icn't witnessing this exchange. Tears sprang to her own , f 8 Mid she reached a desperate hand toward Sadie. Tall and 11if, Sadie remained aloof. "If I could take away your sadness mil pain all of it even repent and bend my knee in your i. ,uI, 1 surely would," Leah said soft and slow.

"The People would set me up as an example. I'd rather be ! id ... like my baby boy." Sadie covered her face with her li in let white hands, her shoulders rising and falling with the )<( 11="">

I ler heart breaking for her sister, Leah pressed on. "Woii'rcha please talk to Dat and Mamma? They'll help you inrl livings out, help make things right with the church, l )l horwise, Naomi will go an' talk to Preacher and his wife ... In one month.*

Sadie's hands flew up. "I won't ... I can't, don't you see?"

"The People will not withhold forgiveness. So ... why iiul confess?"

"Because I ... I can't forgive myself, that's why" came the wiiTowful reply. Sadie wrapped her arms round her own slenilrr waist.

"Oh, Sadie ..."

"One thing I would ask of Jehovah G.o.d if I could... and thai would be to turn back time."

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"Before your rumschpringe?" She hoped that's what Sadie meant.

"You're mistaken. I wouldn't trade those weeks and months, even though at times I loathe Derry for what happened." Sadie's tears spilled over her silky cheeks. "What I want more than anything is to hold my baby again ... to bring my precious little one back from the dead. 1 have no right to seek G.o.d's forgiveness, don't you see?" Sadie turned abruptly and picked up the hoe, sniffling.

Astonished and pained by Sadie's words, Leah grasped a greater depth of her sister's agony. Sadie both despised and adored her former beau, and the departed baby was the only significant result of the forbidden union. No wonder Sadie was so terribly distressed.

"I'm thinkin' only of you, dear sister," Leah said softly.

"Haven't you done enough? You gave up your summer in Ohio for me."

"Isn't that what sisters do? Even if the People should shun you, which won't happen will it? you and I are sisters for always. Nothing can break that bond."

Sadie's expression softened. She leaned on the hoe, nodding. "But you mustn't try to carry the sorrow; it's mine alone."

"You know I'd do anything for you. Ev'ry night I pray for the balm of Gilead to soothe your poor, sad soul." Leah went to Sadie then, and Sadie received her as both girls fell into each other's arms.

"I'll think on what you said," Sadie said through her tears. "I'll think hard about confessin'. Honest, I will." , i.

Vf, 1!

121.

The flood tide was released. Leah wept in Sadie's arms for .1! least this glimmer of hope.

On the way out to the cornfield, carrying a tall Thermos I il iced tea, Hannah heard Sadie and Leah talking in the vegliable garden. And of all things, it sounded like someone was weeping! Well, what the world? She turned to look over her shoulder and saw Leah standing near Sadie there between the I1 )vs, looking as if she, too, might be crying.

The sound of her sisters' sadness faded as Hannah dis- lanced herself from the family garden and walked barefoot 1 (ward Dat in the field. The corn should have been knee-high hy early in July. Sadly, much of it was only a little more than 1 hat tall now because of the long dry spell. Though, situated in a lower section of the field, a two-acre clump was thriving due to underground springs.

She turned to glance back at Sadie and Leah once more and decided not to vex herself about her sisters. She had enough to think on. For one, the secret stash of money she'd hidden away. She had no idea what would happen if Dat discovered she wf planning to a.s.sist Mary Ruth in her quest for education, in spite of her own misgivings. With all the books piled up under their bed, she'd have to make sure no one but Mary Ruth helped move it away from the wall during early fall housecleaning!

Soon she was within earshot of Dat and the smithy Peachey. "Short of talking again to Gid, I have no idea where to go from here," the smithy was saying.

"I've done all I can and then some," Dat replied. "But let's not give up just yet."

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lu J2e

Hannah called to her father. What an awkward situation.

She hoped he might hear her and cease his discussion with the smithy.

Dat's expression changed when he saw Hannah and the Thermos. "Hullo!" he greeted her, shielding his eyes with one hand and waving big as you please with the other.

"Mamma sent some nice, cold tea honey sweetened and sun brewed," she said, feeling the need to explain why she'd intruded on them.

"Denki, Hannah." He reached for the Thermos, exchanging glances with smithy Peachey, and right away he offered the cold drink to his neighbor and lifetime friend.

She turned to hurry back toward the house. The hillside was draped in purple clover, and in the sunlight the hue was at once as deep as it was radiant. She and Mary Ruth had often gone and rolled in the clover as little girls. Truth was, they still did sometimes at dusk when no one could see they were, indeed, still youngsters inside. But this day they wouldn't relax that way. She and Mary Ruth had an overabundance of ch.o.r.es to accomplish before supper, what with the garden bursting its vines with produce and the vegetable stand needing tending to. On top of that, Mamma had come to rely on both Hannah and Leah to spell her off with baby Lydiann. Mary Ruth wasn't much of a choice, though, since with someone else's house to look after, she wasn't around every day of the week. As for Sadie, she wasn't much of a sister or a nursemaid, neither one. Hannah had been writing down her thoughts about her surly sister on the lined pages of her diary, so perturbed she was at Sadie sometimes. And she wasn't the only one.

123.

Just this morning when she was helping run the clothes I1 trough the wringer, Mamma had said she thought it might I if wise for Sadie to go live with Aunt Lizzie for a spell, "till nI it* njets herself straightened out some."

Hannah was stunned such strong words falling from Mum ma's lips. But when Mamma asked what she thought of I hut, the best Hannah could say was "Ain't ever wanted any >l' my sisters livin' out from under Dat's roof. Not just yet."

"Well, I daresay none of them has ever had such a defiant i rcak." Mamma had frowned and shook her head. Clearly 'UKRivated, she groaned a bit as she bent down to hoist the vInker hamper filled with damp clothing. She carried it out in the yard without even asking Hannah to lift a finger to lu'lp.

The two of them hung the clothes on the wash line, and id I the while Hannah wished she might have had the wit to iy something right quick even important like Mary Ruth would have for sure if she'd been there helping Mamma. Her i win was never shy about speaking her mind.

Sometimes Hannah was convinced Mary Ruth had gotten I11 the gumption. Come to think of it, maybe a problem ran in the family when it came to twins. After all, Cousin Fannie ' last had written Mamma recently saying one of their twins is behind the other in growth and development. But wasn't n a little silly to think just because you were a twin, one of i hi might have gotten greedy in the womb with the nourishment? Mary Ruth had never been a stingy sort of girl, in or i 'ill: of their mother's belly. What's more, Mamma had always .lid they'd each weighed the same, and both had walked and 1.1Iked on the exact same day.

124.

-lu J2e Hannah decided that more than likely she was bashful by nature, not slow in her thinking, and her hesitancy wasn't the result of being a twin. And she felt she had at least one small gift from the Almighty. Though she would never think of boasting, she believed she had a right nice way of writing down words and phrases. Her diary was living proof.

Nearing the side yard, Hannah raised her head to look again toward the big garden, wondering if Sadie and Leah had talked out their problems. But her sisters were nowhere to be seen.

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S-27- ,

U 6-t-tA & I^nler that afternoon Leah hitched the slow horse to the liimily buggy, then returned to the house and helped Dawdi )nliii limp across the walk. She still couldn't get over Dat haviiij: uiven her the go-ahead to spend a full month in Ohio, Imwi'ver reluctantly. Jonas would be mighty surprised and ilr;ised, and this could go a long way toward bettering the ii Iniionship between her future husband and Dat. Now if she i mill just get together the money for her train ticket.

The sun hid behind a cloud as she and Dawdi rode toward 11 if small medical clinic. Dawdi had complained all last week ill' his worsening hip, so Mamma had stopped in at Dr.

i hvvartz's last Friday on her way back from Strasburg and iii;ulo an appointment.

More than happy to take her grandfather to see the doc- 11 u, Leah was equally glad for a bit of quietude Dawdi being i v:iceable man even when seriously ailing. Goodness knew, lie needed a breather, and she felt herself relax some while In1 held the reins, letting the horse do the hard work. Such inmilling things Sadie had blurted to her out in the garden.

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-/ e Seemed, though, there might be a ray of hope for Sadie to confess. Truly, her sister's heart was broken and bleeding.

After their private talk Sadie had gone inside and created a fuss, all because Mamma had suggested Sadie take herself upstairs and lie down. "You look so hot in the face," Mamma had said sweetly, offering a concerned smile, no doubt noticing Sadie's swollen eyes.

"I'm all right, really," Sadie replied. "Just thought a rest might do you good." Then Sadie burst out crying. "I'll go out to the pasture if you say to coax all the cows home for milkin' do Leah's ch.o.r.es, but I won't be resting!"

Both Hannah and Mamma gasped, though Mamma the louder. "Such foolish words, Sadie dear. Time you behave like a baptized church member ... and bite your tongue."

Sadie brushed her tears away, standing there silent now. "You best go to your room," Mamma insisted. " 'Tis not becomin' of you to disobey."

Suddenly Sadie brushed past Mamma and Leah, breaking into an all-out run. Out the back door and down the steps she went, toward the barnyard.

"Go now an' talk to Dat!" Mamma called after her, her face boiling red. She probably wanted to holler out in the worst way that Sadie best get inside this minute and do as she said.

But Sadie was already past the milk house and heading for the outhouse; Leah guessed she was flying off to Aunt Lizzie's a good place for her, in Leah's opinion. Lizzie was the best one to calm down a distraught girl like Sadie, although Mamma might not think so.

127lO el r a y a I I'(>r sure and for certain, just now Leah relished this peaceful nine with Dawdi John. She looked over at him, hoping I >i Schwartz could alleviate the severe pain, though at the iiimiK-nt Dawdi looked as relaxed as a sleeping baby, his head I".ilthing as the horse pulled them gentle and slow down the "I hate Gobbler's k.n.o.b!" Sadie cried as she rushed into Amu Lizzie's kitchen. "Mamma has it in for me. I know she ,U-s!"

Lizzie went to her. "Ach, your mamma loves you more Ihiii) you know, Sadie dear." She led her to the front room in id sat her down, loosening Sadie's prayer bonnet to stroke 11 ip top of her head. "You just listen here to your aunt Lizzie," lie whispered low, beginning to hum a slow church song from 11 ic Ausbund.

Sadie felt an awful tightness in her neck and shoulders >iul thought she might burst apart, so distressed she was. Now i I lilt she was here, safe and secure in Aunt Lizzie's cozy house, In-quite liked all this cooing and whatnot. Lizzie's soft arms ml jtentle toijfch made her feel as if, just maybe, the whole ' 'i Id wasn't going to fall apart.

Alter a time, when her sobbing slowed to a whimper, ulic lay quietly with her head on Lizzie's lap, soaking up all 11 ic love, the soft humming, and an occasional "now there." AI rhis moment she secretly wished Lizzie were her mother instead of merely her aunt. She could only wonder what life inl^ht be like living up here in the woods with Aunt Lizzie, iml being the eldest sister to three, no, four girls, but rather a i misin-sister to Leah, the twins, and Lydiann. Goodness' sake,

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>iy it was a trial putting up with Mamma's colicky baby crying all hours of the night. "Every time Lydiann wails, I feel like crying, too. 'Cept I do it inside."

"No wonder you weep," Aunt Lizzie said. "You have strong ties to the babe you carried close to your heart right or wrong and nothin' can take away the emptiness, now that he's not in your arms."

Sadie raised her head and looked into Lizzie's pretty hazel eyes. "So there's nothin' wrong with me?"

Lizzie smiled faintly. "No, my lamb. Don't be thinkin' thataway."

"Oh, Aunt Lizzie, what would I do without you to talk to?"

"Well, now ... you'd prob'ly do like we all do, sooner or later, and be talkin' to the Good Lord about your trials."

"What's the point of prayin'?" Sadie asked. "I doubt the Lord would hear me, anyway."