A Sketch Of What You Mean To Me Part 17

'Okay, three, two, one.' She let her whole body drop into the water and sent a small wave towards me.

'Oh, it's freezing.' She snorted like a hippo which made me laugh.

She swam towards me.

'Well done. Isn't the refreshing stream like a spa treatment?'

I didn't think that it would be possible but under water, her skin looked even paler and more see through.

'I don't want the bandana to get wet.' She made a long neck.

'Take it off then.' I said.

She made a face as if she didn't want to do it.

'That wasn't a proposition it was an order Miss Gallagher.' I said and dove towards her. I put my hands around her small waist and pushed her, so that she would lose balance.

'No, no.' She screamed. 'Alright, I take it off.'

She waded back ash.o.r.e and threw it on the pile with her clothes.

'Satisfied now?' She threw a very serious glance at me and then dove back into the water and swam until she was next to me.

'Hey, your hair is growing back a little.' I said for there were patches of blond which were covering her head.

'Yes, it will grow back now.' She said quietly and smiled.

'Let's hope it doesn't have to fall off again.'

'You and your hope. I'm way past getting my hopes up about anything.' Her shoulders sank.

'Lucy.' I took her hands. 'I didn't believe it myself either but all this time my mom told me to be more positive. So, for once just live in the moment and feel that there's nothing better than diving into cold water on a hot day.' I disappeared under the surface. When I surfaced again, she was floating on her back and moved her arms from time to time in order not to sink.

Lucy stayed in the water for about five minutes and then she got back on her towel to take a sunbath, exemplarily putting the bandana back on her head to shade it from the sun rays. When I had enough from the still water, I joined her.

'Are you asleep?' I asked after a while.

'No, only daydreaming and enjoying the moment.' Lucy responded without opening her eyes.

'We probably have to head back soon.'

'I know. But I'm so comfortable here.' She took a deep breath.

I let her rest for a little while longer until we needed to return the canoe. I got up and stood in front of her so that my shadow covered her.

'You're blocking the sun.'

'There will be sun on the canoe as well.'

'Just another minute. I have to get up slowly or I get dizzy.'

So, slowly, Lucy got up, we threw our clothes and the life jackets back on and I pushed the canoe into the water. When we reached the cottage, I rowed directly into the opening and the old man was there to help us secure the canoe.

'Did you have a good time?' He asked politely.

'Yes, perfect, thank you!' I responded. I turned to Lucy. 'How about we drive to the main beach and rest for a while?'

'Sure, as long as there is some shade.'

There wasn't any shade but I had brought a sun umbrella.

'Good thinking.' Lucy praised. 'Kevin,' she asked, 'do you think men and women can be friends?'

'Had you asked me before I met you, I probably would have said no. But we are friends, aren't we?'

'Yes. But what exactly distinguishes us from being a couple? We talk about pretty much everything, we see each other almost every day and I really like you.'

'Well, I truly like you too and most of the time, when you don't ask weird questions, spending time with you is a lot of fun.' I nudged her. 'But well, there is more to a romantic relationship, like for example the physical contact.'

'So, the only thing that changes a friendship into a relationship is s.e.x?' A crease on her forehead appeared.

'No, of course not. The whole feeling around it has to be right too. But if there's no s.e.x in a friendship it's clear that it's simply a friendship.'

'And that works for a man, to be around a woman for a longer time without wanting to have s.e.x with her?'

'I guess it depends on the woman. If she wasn't attractive at all, I don't think that I'd have s.e.x with her.'

The corners of her mouth sank. 'So, you do not find me attractive then?' She asked flatly.

'I didn't realize this was about us.' I paused. 'I do find you attractive. But there's Fiona and although I haven't exactly seen her a lot lately, it would feel like cheating. I know that we work well together and that there will be better times again.'

'You're such a great guy. She's a lucky girl to have you.' Lucy stated. 'So, the only reason why you don't kiss me is because you're a gentleman?'

I laughed. 'That's a first that someone called me a gentleman. Wow, these cancer drugs must have unmistakably changed me.' I looked at Lucy with her orange bandana. Lucy, the girl whose voice had become so familiar that I sometimes heard her speaking to me in my sleep. And although she had a very different appearance than Fiona, she was beautiful. A pet.i.te, slim woman, whose body almost cried to be protected by the strong arms of a man. However, with Fiona, I felt a thrill whenever I was around her or heard her name. The two relationships itself didn't differentiate that much from each other with the only variation that the bare thought of Fiona could make me nervous and when I saw her, talking to her and being next to her simply wasn't enough. I needed more, I wanted more of her. I don't know whether it's this feeling of thrill versus comfort that makes the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship. But it's that thrill which makes me feel more alive than anything else.

'Believe me; if Fiona wouldn't exist you'd be the first one I'd want to get in bed with. And who says I can't kiss you?' I planted a soft kiss on her even softer cheek.

She rolled her eyes but I received a kiss on my cheek in return.

In the evening, we had a bbq with Amy and Ben. They told us about their travels and at some point the conversation shifted to my drawing abilities. Of course, they then wanted to see an example. I asked them what kind of animals they liked and Amy answered that she loved giraffes. I couldn't help but think of Melman, the hypochondriac giraffe from the movie Madagascar. So, I sketched a giraffe that was carrying a bundle in his mouth, in which was a sleeping baby. Next to the giraffe walked a stork with a sling around his broken wing.

'Here.' I handed the drawing to Amy. 'Once your baby is here, you can tell it that it had a special arrival.'

'That's great.' Amy laughed. 'I think I'll hang this on the wall above the crib. Amazing how you came up with this so quickly.'

'You think they have giraffes in Peru? I'm pretty sure that's where our baby is from.' Ben winked at his wife.

Later, we checked if we had everything we needed for the night and then we all wished each other a good night. Lucy and I had a twin bed in the guest room. When I came back from brushing my teeth, she was already sitting on the bed with her pajamas on.

I stood with a distance to her. I had never slept next to another woman than Fiona. 'We just sleep next to each other now?'

'Shouldn't be a problem. I'm so tired, it's a mystery to me how I didn't fall asleep at the table.' She smiled and took away my uneasiness. 'I don't know when it was the last time that I've done so much in one day. If you want to say something before I fall asleep, better get it out quickly.'

'Did you have fun at least?' I changed into another t-shirt.

'Are you kidding? It was an amazing day.'

'I'm glad to hear that.' I still hesitated. 'I can't sleep in the same bed with you. It feels like a betrayal.'

'To a girl who isn't your girlfriend.' Lucy faced me directly.

'You are right. It sounds ridiculous. Plus, we only sleep. This could be like in one of her hostels, right?'

'I really don't see a problem.'

I nodded, turned off the lights and climbed into bed next to her.

'I hope you had some fun, too.' She snuggled closer to me. 'Thank you, for everything, Kev.' She yawned.

I put an arm around her small figure and hoped that it wasn't too much weight on her.

'Good night,' I whispered. Not sure if she still heard it.

The next day we had breakfast with Amy at 8 o'clock. Ben was already out of the house. After breakfast, we said goodbye and thank you to our nice host. Lucy and I decided to spend a quiet day at the beach and then get back on the road around 4pm to head back home.

The signs that it would become another blazing day were already there. Therefore, we put our towels down in the shade of a tree. We built a sand castle at the waterside and while we were doing this we got company of some little boys. When we were done and they were satisfied with our work, I was hot enough to go for a swim. Lucy faltered again and stayed ash.o.r.e. When I got out, the boys were still having battles with imaginary knights in and around our castle.

After lunch, at a pizza place we strolled through the souvenir shops.

'Oh, I like these. Can you help me tie this around my wrist?' Lucy spotted leather bracelets with seash.e.l.ls tied into the strings.

'Sure.' I took the bracelet and tried not to make it too tight.

'What do you think?' She looked at me.

'Yeah, it's nice.' Leather looked good in combination with most things.

'There are some broader ones for men too. We could both buy one as a memory of today.' Lucy pulled on the ones she found appropriate for me.

They actually were kind of cool.

'Alright, help me tie it around my wrist too, please.' I held out my right arm. 'I should probably get something for Fiona.' I thought out loud. 'Do you have an idea?'

A cease appeared between her eyes but quickly vanished again. 'Fiona is everywhere with you.' She smiled weakly and after a brief moment of hesitation, she looked around the store. Her eyes rested on the necklaces. 'How about one of those?'

'It wouldn't be fair if I got a memory with you and would exclude her.'

'Yes, it's okay, Kevin.' She sighed.

We inspected the necklaces more closely and I decided on one with a small dolphin pendant.

In another shop, Lucy gave me a fashion show of all the sungla.s.ses and then we had enough of the town and strolled back to the beach. Lucy went to sleep on the sand for a while and I swam from buoy to buoy. She didn't wake up when I came back to dry myself off. She was laying on her side with her mouth half open. I knew better than waking her. Comparing myself to her, I was feeling pretty much healthy again. Most of the time I felt strong and I wasn't tired to my bones after walking through the house for more than 5 minutes. I hoped for Lucy to get stronger by the day too. And I hoped for myself that I wouldn't ever have to go back to constantly feeling like having a bad case of the flu. But you never know with that sneaky cancer.

Chapter 21.

Dear Kevin Wow. I don't have another word for what we saw yesterday. We took a yellow post bus up a mountain into the Verzasca Valley. The street was so narrow; I was seriously worried that we wouldn't get around the bends. We pa.s.sed the Verzasca dam. It's where a scene of James Bond Golden Eye was shot. Behind it was a lake with the clearest blue water I have ever seen. But you couldn't swim in there. However, we drove on and the lake became a river (or rather the other way around). As we drove deeper into the valley, I admired the cute Italian stone houses along the way and the thin waterfalls that jumped from springs out of the mountain walls. When the post bus reached a stony bridge we got out and already saw a ma.s.s of tourists spread out on the rocks by the river. Here the water was quite calm, so that you could swim in it. You can see how the place looks like on the postcard but the picture simply doesn't do the colors justice. We climbed down to the swimming hall and of course we also wanted to take a dip. Oh gosh, it was glacial!!! But therefore the rocks were like a hot stone bed afterward. They all had a soft and round form anyway because the water had eroded them over the years.

I think that was my favorite place so far.

Then we took the bus back down into civilization and from there a train to Bellinzona, where we spent the night in a youth hostel.

Today, we walked up the steps to one of the castles. There are three in total but this one is the most spectacular to visit. We could climb up on the guard tower, from where we had a pretty view over the complete town. The way back into town was even cooler because we could take a secret pa.s.sage below ground.

Now, we're back in Bern and I had the opportunity to use the computer again. Thank you for your short e-mails which show me that you're still alive too :) Miss you.

Fiona This letter had arrived while Lucy and I were gone. I retired into my room to read it a few times and then taking my time, answering it.

Subject: Lake George My dear Fiona Now I finally have something remotely exciting to tell you.

Lake George still lived up to the beautiful picture I remembered it by from my childhood. The town is charming and the water of the lake seemed so clear and clean, it looked very inviting to go swimming. I even discovered a quiet spot I didn't know existed before. I rented a canoe and rowed to a small island. I only learned of this canoeing place thanks to Amy and Ben, my hosts. They were really nice and we had a delicious bbq dinner together. Amy was actually pregnant and I thought it was great of her to still invite strangers into her house at this stage.

I hope I can one day give something back to people and also host other travelers and show them the best of the area.

8 more days until you are back.

Love, Kev I purposely omitted writing her about Lucy. The last thing I wanted was starting a fight with her while she was half across the world.

The week following our adventure, Lucy slept even more than usual. When I thought that she had rested enough now, I drove to her house to at least be in her presence. So many times I had been bored and lonely in my hospital room.

'Kevin.' Her mom opened the door and then waited in the doorframe. She looked weary and tired herself.

'h.e.l.lo Mrs. Gallangher. Is Lucy asleep?' She couldn't possibly still be sleeping. It had now been 4 days.

'I'm afraid she is.' Her head sunk and she stared at the ground.

'I can wait at her bedside. I'm sure she'd like some entertainment once she wakes up.'

Her mom gave me a weak smile.

'It's kind of you, what you are doing for her. She enjoyed the weekend.' She swallowed. 'But now is not a good time.'

I inhaled sharply. Lucy didn't even know that I was here. I was sure she'd want me to come up if she did. 'I'm only here because I want to help. I think it would be good for her.'