A Silken Thread Part 22

She and Brian talked every night and, now that they had officially postponed their wedding and sent notices informing family and friends of their decision, phone calls had begun coming in. Everyone wanted to know the reason but she had refused to go into any details.

She let her father in, closing the door behind him. "I really don't know why you came, Dad. You've admitted to the affair and as far as I'm concerned there is no excuse for what you and Ms. Lawson have done," she said. "And now to think she is breaking up your marriage. Mom told me you've asked her for a divorce and-"

"Oh, come on, Erica, you've known the state of our marriage for years. Your mother and I were existing in a loveless marriage. I had made up in my mind to ask Karen for a divorce even before meeting Rita, but decided to wait until after your wedding."

Erica crossed her arms over her chest. "And that's supposed to make what you did right?"

"No, but for once I wanted to know how it felt to love and be loved in return."

She dropped her arms and her mouth practically fell open. "Are you saying you love Rita and she supposedly loves you?"

"Yes. Although she's willing to end things between us. She figures you and Brian will never accept us being together and that we've caused you and him too much pain."

"What about the pain you've caused Mom?"

"Your mother has been aware of the state of our marriage for years and-"

"Of course you want me to believe she gave you her blessings to go ahead and indulge in affairs. She said you would probably try to convince me of something so ridiculous. She also told me she suspected you of other affairs in the past, but she didn't want to believe it. What do you have to say about that?"

"Your mother is filling your head with lies."

"Then what's the truth?"

"In all my thirty years I've never been unfaithful to your mother."

"Until now?"

"Yes, until now. I'm not going to divulge the personal business between your mother and me because it really doesn't concern you, Erica. All I'm asking is that you believe that this affair with Rita was my first and it wasn't just a fling. I love Rita and, yes, if she will have me and I hope that she will, I want to spend the rest of my days with her. And yes, I am divorcing your mother to make that happen. I know it all looks bad, but there's nothing I can really do about it because I don't intend to give Rita up."

He paused for a moment and then said in a softer tone. "For once I am happy. Truly happy. You'll never know how it was to wake up in the morning knowing my sixtieth birthday was around the corner and realizing that I didn't know the meaning of love. Now I wake up every morning with a reason to be happy. And if that makes me a terrible person, I'm sorry. I endured a loveless marriage for thirty years and I don't plan to continue doing so."

He moved to the door and before reaching it, he turned around. "Your mother has already started manipulating you, Erica. I regret that you can't see what she's doing."

Erica narrowed her gaze. "No one is manipulating me, Dad. And what I see, which you so clearly explained yourself, is that you want to divorce my mother to marry another woman."

Silence followed and then without saying anything else, her father opened the door and walked out.

Rita moved around her home wondering how she would approach her son and what she would say when she finally spoke to him. She had called his office and he'd been in meetings. She had left her name but he had yet to return her calls. In the past, a day hadn't gone by without him checking on her, calling to talk to her, but now...

She drew in a deep breath and was heading toward the kitchen when her phone rang. Hoping it was Brian she quickly moved across the room and picked it up without noticing the caller ID.

"h.e.l.lo?"

"Rita, baby, I need to see you."

She almost dropped the phone and hearing the sound of Wilson's voice made emotions she'd tried keeping at bay come rushing to the forefront. She covered her face with her hand and fought back the sob that erupted in the back of her throat. He was the last person she needed to talk to now. Wilson Sanders was her weakness. He was the one man, after all these years, that she had fallen in love with. But he belonged to someone else. Why had it been so easy for her to forget that?

"I can't talk to you, Wilson. We can't continue what we started. And we can't see each other. Brian is hurting because Erica has called off the wedding and he blames me. And he has every right to do so."

"No he doesn't, and stop blaming yourself, Rita. And I refuse to let anyone take away the happiness I am just discovering I can feel with you. Brian and Erica will get married eventually. You and I both know that."

"Will they? Can we be so sure of that? Your wife hates anyone with the last name of Lawson and I have a feeling she will do anything to make sure a wedding doesn't take place, just to spite me. To spite us."

"Then we need to make sure that doesn't happen. I asked Karen for a divorce and-"

"No!" The hand flew from her face and she nearly dropped the phone again. "You should not have done that."

"You're wrong, sweetheart. I should have done it years ago."

"But our children, Wilson."

"They will eventually come around and accept our love for each other, Rita. I don't want you to regret falling in love with me."

Rita dropped down on the sofa. His words tore at her heart. "I don't regret it."

"And never start regretting it, no matter what. We're in this together, sweetheart. And I refuse to let you go."

Rita shook her head. He had no choice but to let her go. "I can't believe this has happened. I thought we were being discreet. How on earth did someone take those pictures? Who took them?"

"I have a feeling about those pictures. Personally, I think Karen was behind them and made sure they were sent to expose us. Right now I don't put anything past her and that's why I need to talk to Brian."

"No, please don't. At least not now. He's going through some things and prefers not being bothered and-"

"He hasn't talked to you about this?"

Tears Rita tried holding back fell down her cheek. "No, but that's okay. I understand and-"

"Well, h.e.l.l, I don't understand. This should not involve our kids, but Karen went out of her way to make sure that it did. Erica and Karen left today for a six-week trip. I see what she's doing, if no one else does-especially Erica, who refuses to question her mother's motives right now."

"And what do you think Karen is doing?"

"Trying to keep Erica and Brian apart and Brian can't let that happen."

"If she thinks she can do that then she really doesn't know my son."

"Yes, but still, I need to talk to him."

"Please, not now, Wilson. Give him some time, which is what I'm doing. I have to believe that he'll come around. I have to believe that."

"And he will, just like I believe the same thing of Erica. Karen thinks she has everything well planned but there's some thing she has overlooked and sadly knows nothing about."

"What?"

"Love and the power behind it. I think in the end she's going to be in for a rude awakening."

Rita drew in a deep breath when she glanced out her living room window and saw Brian's car pull into the driveway. As glad as she was that he had finally come to see her, she wasn't sure how the meeting between them would pan out. Both Wilson and Lori thought she was making a mistake to put his happiness above her own, but that's exactly what she would do. There was no way she would let her behavior with Wilson cause him more misery.

She moved toward the door when the doorbell sounded, willing to do whatever it took to repair her relationship with her son. "Brian," she said, opening the door and then stepping back to let him in.

"Mom."

"I was just about to eat dinner. You're welcome to join me if you like."

"No, thanks. I just came to talk. I promise not to take up much of your time."

He could never take up her time, she thought, and her heart ached that he a.s.sumed that he could. "All right, let's sit in the living room."

She kept her eyes on him as they walked to the sofa. He looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep, and he'd lost weight, as well. Not much, but enough where a mother would notice. They'd always had a close relationship, even when Patrick was alive, and then when they'd lost the man they'd considered their rock, the bond between them had thickened even more. The thought that that bond had broken caused a pain to swell within her chest.

She decided to cut to the chase. "How's Erica?" she asked.

He drew in a deep breath. "I a.s.sume she's fine. She and her mother left on a trip today." He paused a moment. "I'm sure you know by now that the wedding has been postponed."

"Yes, Wilson told me."

Brian's brow lifted. "So you and Mr. Sanders are still communicating with each other?"

She heard the accusing tone whether he intended for her to or not. And she would not lie to him about her relationship with Wilson. "Yes."

Brian stared at her for a long moment and she wished she could read his thoughts. He then leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his thighs while pinning her with his deep gaze. "Will you tell me something, Mom?"

"Yes, anything you want to know." And she meant it. Although the conversation may end up being painful and embarra.s.sing, she would be forthcoming. He deserved that.

"Why Mr. Sanders? You hadn't dated anyone since Dad died. So why him? Especially when you knew he's a married man and it was no secret how Mrs. Sanders felt about Erica marrying me."

She clasped her hands in her lap and stared down at them for a moment wondering how she would answer his question. She didn't expect him to accept her behavior but she needed him to understand it.

She raised her head and met his gaze. There was only one answer she could give him. "Because I fell in love with him."

He looked shocked, as if her answer was out of left field, beyond the scope of his comprehension at the moment. He simply sat there and stared at her.

She cleared her throat. "I know it's probably hard for you to understand how such a thing could happen, and it's not that I wanted it to happen. Like you said he is a married man and I wanted to respect that."

"But you didn't."

She flinched at his mocking tone. He was right, she didn't. "No, but I tried. However, I saw something in Wilson besides the warm, caring person that he is. I saw a man who deserved to be loved and who deserved to know how it felt to love."

She paused a moment before continuing. "I know that's no excuse for what I did, for what we did, but it happened. And now...it's over between us."

Brian shifted in his chair again. "But you said you loved him."

"I do and I won't take that back. But loving him is causing others pain and I can't let that happen."

"Are you aware that he's asked Karen for a divorce?"

She nodded. "Yes, but he had planned to do that anyway, before he even met me. However, he wanted to wait until after the wedding. I am not the cause of their divorce."

"She's saying that you are."

"Then she is wrong."

Brian looked at her with dark eyes that were so much like Patrick's. "You say you love him, yet you're giving him up," he said. "Because of me and Erica?"

She smiled slightly when she felt a single tear fall from her eye. "Yes, but then I never should have had him in the first place. What I did was wrong and I admit that. What I should have done was wait until he was a free man."

"And had he come to you a 'free' man you would have gotten involved with him?"

"Yes, because I'd fallen in love with him."

When Brian didn't say anything but sat there for a long while, she finally asked, "Is there anything else you want to ask me about the situation?"

"Yes, do you believe that he loves you?"

She lifted her chin and met his direct, penetrating gaze. She saw no point in telling him that Wilson had told her several times that he did, and she believed him every time he'd whispered the words to her. She knew in her heart that Wilson loved her as much as she loved him. But this was one time love wouldn't be enough.

"Mom?"

She swallowed hard. "It doesn't matter if he does or not."

Brian stood up and she tilted her head to look up at him. When he reached out his hand to her, she took it and he gently tugged her to her feet, as well. She felt the strength in the hands that held hers and she appreciated it at that moment.

"I think it will matter, Mom, especially if what you believe about his feelings for you are true. I've told Erica that what happened between Wilson and you doesn't concern us, and eventually she'll see that it doesn't. You and Wilson have to live your lives, like Erica and I have to live ours. You're my mother and I will always love you, no matter what."

His words caused a rush of breath from Rita's lungs and she leaned warily against him, lowering her head to his chest when she felt more tears fall from her eyes. Her son was a man she was proud of. He loved her no matter what and she couldn't ask for more than that.

When he wrapped his arms around her, she couldn't help but let even more tears fall. Right now she needed his strength and he was unselfishly giving it.

She lifted her head and gazed up at him through wet lashes. "I'm sorry for hurting you and for letting you down," she whispered brokenly.

He shook his head. "Something I've realized since meeting Erica is that love makes no demands, it provides no ultimatums and it refuses to accept any regrets. What it does is embrace life and promise happiness even when you're going through the worst part of a storm. There will be better and brighter days at the end."

She swiped at her eyes. "You actually believe that?"

He smiled as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Yes, Mom, I actually believe that."

She couldn't decide if her son was a romantic, a realist or a revolutionist. And at that particular moment, for her it truly didn't matter. She wanted to believe what he said and decided that she would.