A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Xi Part 26

[77] _Turnbull_ Street was sometimes spelt _Turnball_ Street, and sometimes (as Field himself gives it in another part of this play) _Turnbole_ Street. It was situated between Cow Cross and Clerkenwell Green, and is celebrated by many of our old dramatists as the residence of ruffians, thieves, and prost.i.tutes. Its proper name was _Turnmill_ Street. See Stow's "Survey," 1599, p. 12.

[78] The later copy spoils the measure by omitting the words _so far_.

[79] Elsewhere in this play he is merely called _Husband_, though before this speech in the old copies _Knight_ is inserted. It afterwards appears that such is his rank.

[80] The word _innocent_ was used of old sometimes as synonymous with _fool_, as in the following pa.s.sage--

"Nay, G.o.d forbid ye shoulde do so, for he is but an _innocent_, lo, In manner of a _fole_."

--"Int. of the Four Elements" [i. 42].

[81] _i.e._, Skylight, [See vol. viii. p. 320].

[82] That is, all but Lady Honour, Lady Perfect, the Husband, and Subtle.

[83] Ought we not rather to read--

"I would bequeath _thee_ in my will to _him_?"

[84] The second 4 reads _consist_.

[85] [Old copies, _be_.]

[86] The second 4 has this line--

"The Bristow sparkles _are as_ diamond."

The meaning is evident.

ACT II., SCENE 1.

_Enter_ SELDOM _[and] his wife_ GRACE, _working as in their shop_.

GRACE. Husband, these gloves are not fit for my wearing; I'll put 'em into the shop, and sell 'em: you shall give me a plain pair for them.

SEL. This is wonderful, wonderful! this is thy sweet care and judgment in all things: this goodness is not usual in our wives. Well, Grace Seldom, that thou art fair is nothing, that thou art well-spoken is nothing, that thou art witty is nothing, that thou art a citizen's wife is nothing; but, Grace, that thou art fair, that thou art well-spoken, that thou art witty, that thou art a citizen's wife, and that thou art honest, I say--and let any man deny it that can, it is something, it is something; I say, it is Seldom's something, and for all the sunshine of my joy, mine eyes must rain upon thee.

_Enter_ MOLL CUT-PURSE, _with a letter_.

MOLL. By your leave, Master Seldom, have you done the hangers I bespake for the knight?

SEL. Yes, marry have I, Mistress _hic_ and _haec;_[87] I'll fetch 'em to you. [_Exit._

MOLL. Zounds! does not your husband know my name? if it had been somebody else, I would have called him cuckoldy slave.

GRACE. If it had been somebody else, perhaps you might.

MOLL. Well, I may be even with him; all's clear. Pretty rogue, I have longed to know thee this twelve months, and had no other means but this to speak with thee. There's a letter to thee from the party.

GRACE. What party?

MOLL. The knight, Sir John Love-all.

GRACE. Hence, lewd impudent!

I know not what to term thee, man or woman, For, Nature, shaming to acknowledge thee For either, hath produc'd thee to the world Without a s.e.x: some say thou art a woman, Others a man: and many, thou art both Woman and man, but I think rather neither, Or man and horse, as the old centaurs were feign'd.

MOLL. Why, how now, Mistress What-lack-ye? are you so fine, with a pox?

I have seen a woman look as modestly as you, and speak as sincerely, and follow the friars as zealously,[88] and she has been as sound a jumbler as e'er paid for't: 'tis true, Mistress Fi'penny, I have sworn to leave this letter.

GRACE. D'ye hear, you Sword-and-target (to speak in your own key), Mary Ambree, Long Meg.[89]

Thou that in thyself, methinks, alone Look'st like a rogue and wh.o.r.e under a hedge; Bawd, take your letter with you, and begone, When next you come, my husband's constable, And Bridewell is hard by: you've a good wit, And can conceive----

_Enter_ SELDOM, _with hangers_.

SEL. Look you, here are the hangers.

MOLL. Let's see them.

Fie, fie! you have mistook me quite, They are not for my turn. B'w'ye, Mistress Seldom. [_Exit._

_Enter_ LORD PROUDLY.

GRACE. Here's my Lord Proudly.

PROUDLY. My horse, lackey! is my sister Honour above?

SEL. I think her ladyship, my lord, is not well, and keeps her chamber.

PROUDLY. All's one, I must see her: have the other ladies dined?

GRACE. I think not, my lord.

PROUDLY. Then I'll take a pipe of tobacco here in your shop, if it be not offensive. I would be loth to be thought to come just at dinner-time. [_To his servant_] Garcon! fill, sirrah.

_Enter_ PAGE, _with a pipe of tobacco_.

What said the goldsmith for the money?

[SELDOM, _having fetched a candle, walks off at the other end of the shop_. LORD PROUDLY _sits by his wife_.

PAGE. He said, my lord, he would lend no man money that he durst not arrest.

PROUDLY. How got that wit into Cheapside, trow? He is a cuckold. Saw you my lady to-day? hat says she? [_Takes tobacco._