A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vi Part 8

CACON.

It is the least thing ay car far, bay may charge; Far se lang as thea han images wharon te luke, What need thea be distructed awt af a buik?

HYPOCRISY.

Tush! that will modify them all well enou': As well a dead image as a dumb idol, I make G.o.d avow.

CACON.

Yai, ay my sen bay experience thot con show; Far in may portace the tongue ay de nat know, Yet when ay see the great gilded letter, Ay ken it sea well, as nea man ken better.

As far example: on the day of Chraist's nativity, Ay see a bab in a manger and two beasts standing by: The service whilk to Newyear's-day is a.s.saign'd Bay the paicture of the circ.u.mcision ay faynd: The service, whilk on Twalfth-day mun be done, Ay seeke bay the mark of the three kings of Cologne.

Bay the devil tenting Chraist ay find whadragesima: Bay Chraist on the cross ay serch out gude-fraiday.

Pasch for his mark hath the Resurrection: Ayenst Hally-Thursday is pented Chraist's ascension: Thus in mayn own buke ay is a gude clerk; But gif the sents war gone, the cat had eat my mark.

Se the sandry mairacles, whilk ilk sent have done, Bay the pictures on the walls sal appear to them soon, Bay the whilk thea ar learned in every distress, What sent thea mun prea te far succour, doubtless: Sea that all lepers to Sylvester must prea, That he wawd frae tham ther disease take away.

Laykwais, thea that han the falling saickness, Te be eased therfre thea mun prea to Sent Cornelis: In contagious air, as in plague or pestilence, Te hally Sent-Ruke[43] thea mun call far a.s.sistance.

Fra paril of drawning Sent Carp keep the mariners: Fra dayng in warfare Sent George guard the soldiers: Sent Job heal the poor, the ague Sent German: For te ease the toothache call te Sent Appolline[44].

Gif that a woman be barren and childless, Te help her herein she must prea te Sent Nicholas.

Far wemen in travail call to Sent Magdalen; Far lawliness of mind call to Sent Katherine, Sent Loy save your horse, Sent Anthony your swine.

TYRANNY.

What! this parson seemeth cunning to be, And, as far as I see, in a good uniformity.

Yea, he is well read in that Golden Legend.

CACON.

Bay may troth, in reading any other ne taym do I spend, Far that, ay ken, bay general caunsel is canonised, And bay the hely Pope himself is authorised: That buke farther is wholly permitted, Wharas the Baible in part is prohibited.

And therefore, gif it be lawful to utter my conscience, Before the New Testament ays give it credence.

HYPOCRISY.

I allow his judgment before Ambrose and Austin, And for Hypocrisy a more convenient chaplain.

AVARICE.

It grieveth me much that no fault we can spy, For now of some bribe disappointed am I; Yet happily he may tell us of some heretics.

TYRANNY.

Is there, Mast. Parson, in your parish no schismatics?

CACON.

Yai, mara, is ther a vara busybody, Whe will jest with me and call me fule and noddy, And sets his lads te spout Latin ayenst me, But ay spose then with _Deparfundis Clam aui_: And oftentimes he wil reason with me of the Sacarment, And say he can prove bay the New Testament That Chraist's body is in heaven placed; But ays not believe him, ay woll not be awt-faced.

He says besayd that the Pope is Antichraist, Fugered of John bay the seven-headed beast, And all awre religion is but mon's invention, And with G.o.d's ward is at utter dissension; And a plaguy deal mare of sayk layk talk, That ay dar not far may na.r.s.e bay his yate walk, But ay wawd he wer brunt, that ay mawght be whaiet.[45]

TYRANNY.

He must have a cooler; his tongue runs at riot.

AVARICE.

What is his name, Sir John, canst thou tell us?

CACON.

Yai, sir, that ay ken: he is cleped Phailelegoos.

TYRANNY.

Wilt thou go show his house, where he dwell?

CACON.

Yai, or els ay wawd may sawl war in h.e.l.l.

Te de him a pleasure ay wawd gang a whole year, Gif it war but te make him a fadock[46] te bear.

TYRANNY.

Go with us, Avarice, and bear us company.

AVARICE.

Nay, if you go hence, I will not here tarry.

HYPOCRISY.

Away, sirs: in your business in a corner do not lurk, That my Lord Legate, when he comes, may have work.

TYRANNY.

Come on: let us go together, Sir John.

CACON.

Ay sall follow after. G.o.d boy, you good gentleman.

HYPOCRISY [_Aside_.]

Farewell three false knaves as between this and London!

TYRANNY.

What say'st thou?

HYPOCRISY.

As honest men as the three Kings of Cologne.

[_Exeunt_ TYR. AVA. CACON.

This gear goes round, if that we had a fiddle: Nay, I must sing too, _heigh, dery, dery, dery_.

I can do but laugh, my heart is so merry: I will be minstrel myself, _heigh, didle, didle, didle_; But lay there a straw I began to be weary.

But hark; I hear a trampling of feet.

It is my Lord Legate; I will him go meet.

ACT IV., SCENE I.

CAR[DINAL]. HYP. AVA. TYR. PHILO.

[CARDINAL.]

Go to, Master Zeal,[47] bring forth that heretic, Which doth thus disturb our religion catholic.

HYPOCRISY.

Room for my lord's grace! what! no manner reverence, But cap on head, Hodge, and that in a lord's presence?