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No one came up to bother her as Jolly sat in the same position holding Mimi's hand for over four hours. She spoke of things they needed for the house, and vacations they had gone on together before they'd become a couple. With each pa.s.sing minute the dread in her heart grew. Jolly was no doctor, but four hours was more than plenty for her partner to have opened her eyes.
"Please, Mimi. I need you to open those pretty green eyes for me. I need to tell you some more stuff, or you can wake up and tell me to shut the h.e.l.l up." On the other side of the bed a nurse moved the blanket down to expose Mimi's arm for the blood pressure cuff. The red had seeped as high as Mimi's thighs and with a quick push of an alarm b.u.t.ton the medical team came rushing back in. The bleeding had started again.
"What's happening?" Jolly's cries were lost on the rushing professionals pushing Mimi away from her again. Harry appeared next to her again now wearing the same outfit Jolly had on, and led her back to the anxious family. "Where are they taking her?"
"The bleedings started again, so she's headed back to surgery." In all her studies and practice of medicine, Harry wished there was some magic line someone would come up with that would make situations like this more tolerable for the families left in these sterile looking rooms to wait.
"I'm going to lose her, aren't I? She was just saying how she couldn't wait for this day to come so I could hug her again, and she could hold those babies and rock them. That's not going to happen is it?"
"You can't give up on her so fast, my friend. This is a time to have faith in Mimi and her will to stay with you. If she doesn't, it won't be for her lack of trying. When you came in with your accident and I got to meet her, Mimi touched me in a way people seldom do. The life she exudes explained a lot about the person who painted that canvas hanging in my house. I can't imagine someone like that just quitting so early in the game that is her life."
Desi handed both of them a cup of coffee before taking a seat next to Harry. Her feet were killing her and her back hurt, but like everyone else who had been there since the beginning, she didn't want to leave Jolly alone. Almost like her partner had felt her discomfort Harry took her hand and offered a shoulder for her to rest her head on.
"My love, you've got to be heading home." She pressed a finger to pouting lips before Desi got started and talked her into staying. "I can see those grimaces you keep making, it means your back hurts and I'm not taking any chances with you. Please don't ask me that, especially not tonight." The voice was a low whisper but Desi heard the fear in them. What was happening to Mimi and Jolly could just as easily be them.
"I can't leave until I know she's ok, honey. Please don't ask that of me. I know I've only spoken to Mimi a couple of times, but I like her and Jolly. They need as much support as they can get right now."
"We can stay, but you're lying down for a little while. Come on, I'll go with you." Harry explained to Pam and Tim where she was taking Desi not wanting to bother Jolly anymore. The architect was sitting with her eyes glued to the doorway Sam had come out of earlier. "I'll have the surgery nurse keep me informed and as soon as I hear anything, I'll come out and tell you all. Just have them come and get me if you need something before that."
"Thank you, Dr. Basantes," said Pam.
"Please call me Harry. I know this has been a hectic night, but this is my wife Desi." Introductions were made and they watched as Harry led Desi to one of the doctor on call rooms.
"Jolly?" Ricky stood up and put his arm around his daughter-in-law's shoulders. "Stop beating yourself up over this, Jolly. You don't have to answer me but I can tell you are. Sometimes stuff just happens but like that young doctor said, you've got to have faith in Mimi. She loves you and she'll fight her way back."
"Thanks, Ricky, and I know." It was more to appease him than herself, but Jolly didn't feel like talking to anyone.
It took another three hours and twenty pints of blood but they stabilized Mimi as much as they could after stopping the bleeding. The staff let Jolly sit with her a little while longer before she was moved to the Intensive Care Unit where visitation was a little more strict. Jolly walked off by alone and waved her family off when they tried to follow. "I just need some time alone. Don't worry I'll be fine."
The chapel was on the second floor and because of the early hour it was empty. At any other time Jolly would have taken time to appreciate the old pine pews and woodwork someone had put into the s.p.a.ce. Now all she could was sit and cry into her hands wishing she had the day to do over again.
Two floors above her Mimi tried to find a way out of the darkness. She kept calling to Jolly but there was no answer and she could've have sworn she had heard her voice earlier. The only answer was to sleep until Jolly came back so she surrendered further into the darkness.
CHAPTER 6.
"HONEY, IT'S BEEN a week, you need to go home and get some sleep. I'm here and so is Ricky, if anything happens we promise to call you." Sophia spoke softly as she held her daughter's hand. The usually easy going Jolly looked tense and there were deep circles around the blue eyes.
For the past week Jolly hadn't left the hospital at all. The only reason she wasn't wearing the same clothes was because Sophia and Pam were taking care of her while Jolly took care of Mimi. The only time she left the Intensive Care Unit was to visit the babies who had gone through their own tribulations. So far the smallest of them had stopped breathing twice and the other two were fighting severe infections in their underdeveloped lungs. The large amount of medication they were on, and the fight to stay alive wasn't helping in their goal to gain weight.
One of the only times Jolly showed any life was when one of the nurses suggested they give Mimi the medication to stop milk production. Jolly remembered well their talk the night this nightmare had begun, but she was determined to let Mimi make the decision not someone not wanting to be bothered with the task of pumping. The problem was, no amount of talking, hand holding or care from Jolly had gotten Mimi to wake up.
"It could be a year and I'll still be sitting here waiting. She isn't going to wake up without me being here for her to see. I don't want her to feel like she's alone."
"Mimi knows how you feel about her, and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to get sick from pushing yourself too far."
Jolly ran her hands up and down the tops of her legs in an effort to release some anxiety. When they made her leave Mimi's side she felt like crawling out of her skin. "Can we just drop this discussion? There isn't a d.a.m.n thing you're going to tell me that'll make me leave." She stood up and released a frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry for being so gruff, but I feel so helpless. My life's always been about order. I draw plans other people follow and in the end I get the results I intended. That's so much easier than this."
"Jolly, I wish there was some wise thing I could say right now, but life isn't that easy. It's unfair as h.e.l.l, isn't it?"
A mirthless laugh forced its way out of Jolly's chest. "You know what all this has made me think about?"
Sophia watched as Jolly walked another couple of miles pacing the room. "What's that?"
"My father."
It was Sophia's turn to let out the same kind of laugh. "Why ever would you do that?"
"You're right, life's not fair and he's the prime example of that isn't he? I mean he's spent his existence bullying his employees, those he supposedly loves and turning his back on anyone who doesn't march to his tune. What's all that gotten him? Nothing's ever happened to him that's cut him to his very soul has it? Mimi on the other hand is the epitome of goodness and look where she is now."
"I don't know, honey. Losing you out of his life hurt more than he'll ever admit."
Jolly spun on her feet and looked at her mother not believing what she'd just said. "Yeah right."
"Don't you ever sit and think why he pushed you harder than all the others?"
"Because my siblings are a pack of G.o.dd.a.m.n sheep. I'm sorry, but you know it's true."
The older woman patted the hard plastic chair beside her to encourage Jolly to sit. "I know, but when we started having children you were, in his eyes, the most like him." A snort from Jolly made Sophia smile. "Jolly, you've done with your life everything you wanted to, haven't you?"
"I guess." Jolly went willingly when her mother pulled her closer so her head was on her shoulder. Taking advantage of their position Sophia ran her fingers through the thick dark hair.
"So has he. Granted you went in a different direction, but neither of you are ones to have your life dictated. He fought with you yes, but he admired your tenacity. If he ever gets over his pride you might find a person you can like. So I believe he has suffered some, and it came from losing you."
"How can you still defend him?" Jolly asked stifling a yawn.
"It'd be easy to hate your father, but I'm not wasting time on that anymore. I don't think of what I said as defending him either. I just don't want you to let the past and your anger over it rob you of any relationship, even if it's with your father. Go on, close your eyes and get some rest."
Jolly's laugh this time sounded almost normal. "You're giving up on getting me to go home?"
"I don't want to rob you out of seeing Mimi well again either."
"Thanks, mama."
Their talks continued for the next week and provided for Jolly the only high points to her day. Sophia told her stories about her father Francois that Jolly had either not heard or had forgotten. In her time sitting at Mimi's bedside Jolly repeated them all as she put lotion on her partner's dry skin, or just held her hand. There had been no other bleeding or emergencies but Mimi showed no improvement.
"You should see Moe, baby. She's gained an ounce this week and she fans her fingers out when I touch the bottoms of her feet. She must've inherited the Mulle ticklish gene."
"Jolly?" One of the nurses stood in the doorway hating she had to interrupt. Ellie had told them to give Jolly more time with Mimi, but there had to be breaks. Not so much for a patient like Mimi, but for people like Jolly. There was no sense in the caregiver ending up in the hospital along side their loved one. "Time's up, darlin'. Go take a nap and get some lunch then we'll sneak you back in."
Ricky was stretched out on the small sofa in the waiting room sleeping when Jolly stepped out. The thought of waking him to go and see the kids occurred to her but she decided to let him sleep awhile longer. With her hands flat against the wall Jolly tried to stretch the muscles in her back when she felt two small hands press against her.
"Jolly?"
The voice was one she hadn't heard in over a year, and in reality, it was one Jolly had hoped never to hear again. Maybe her mother was right about her being like her father since she was able to carry a grudge so well. "What do you want?"
"I heard about what happened and I wanted to come and see you."
Jolly turned around if only to reclaim her personal s.p.a.ce and looked at Christina with cold eyes. "For what, to gloat?"
"Please, Jolly, I want to help. I heard Mimi isn't getting any better and I thought you might need help with your kids. Or maybe you just need a shoulder to lean on once you have to start making the tough decisions."
"Get out."
"Don't be so stubborn, I made mistakes but I'm here to prove to you things can be different between us. I still love you. I want us to be able to depend on one another. You need me, Jolly."
"I said get the h.e.l.l out of here." Jolly's voice stayed low but it was enough to wake Ricky, but he stayed where he was for the moment.
"Honey, she could be like this for years and then what? You're going to just live in this room and hope she wakes up and picks up where you two left off. You have to be realistic here, you have to be..." Christina stopped talking when a large hand wrapped around her throat and squeezed.
"I warned you didn't I? I told you to get out. You are f.u.c.king something else, lady. My wife's in there and you think it's a good time to come here and restake your claim." With each word Jolly squeezed harder until the blonde was. .h.i.tting her arm in an effort to make her let go.
"You have to let her go, Jolly." Harry spoke soothingly but tried to pry the architect's hands off the woman's throat. "Let go, Jolly."
"G.o.d, what about you ever attracted me? You're nothing but a f.u.c.king ghoul." Christina was turning red and her blows were becoming lighter as she became more light headed, but still Jolly wouldn't release her. It was as if she didn't realize what she was doing.
"Jolly!" Harry screamed. When she did two things happened, Ricky sat up and Jolly punched Harry connecting with her eye.
"Harry, what are you doing here?" The sight of Harry on the floor was as confusing to Jolly as why Christina was gasping for air.
"Getting a black eye would be my first answer. What in the h.e.l.l were you doing?" Harry pushed Christina's head down after escorting her to a chair. "You could've really hurt her."
"I don't know. She started talking about how I had to let Mimi go and forget about her and something snapped."
Ricky came up behind Jolly and put his arm around her shoulders pushing her toward the door. "Come on, let's go get a soda or something." She started walking not really caring where she was headed. "As for you, b.i.t.c.h, stay the h.e.l.l away from my family. You come in here and talk about my kid like she's a piece of celery again, and I swear I'll finish you off myself. Consequences be d.a.m.ned."
They sat together in the cafeteria with two cups of coffee and silence between them. It was Ricky who finally couldn't take it anymore. "Want to talk about it?"
"No, not really." Jolly stirred the contents of the cup slowly as if it was the only thing she was interested in doing with it because she hadn't taken a sip yet. "You should head home and get some sleep. I appreciate you spending the night last night, but I can handle this."
"You look like s.h.i.t, and you've lost more weight than is healthy in the last two weeks, so I don't think you're handling this too well at all. You've got to let some of us in eventually, don't you think?"
The milky spoon finally stopped and was put on the table. "What do you want from me? For me to say we should all hold hands around the bed and tell Mimi it's ok for her to die? Well f.u.c.k you if that's what you want, because it's not ok with me. I want my wife back. I want us to go home and raise our girls and be happy. Is that too f.u.c.king much to ask?"
All the conversations around them just stopped as Jolly's voice got louder. Without realizing it she was screaming at Ricky, taking every bit of frustration she felt on the one person in the world who loved Mimi almost as much as she did. "I don't want that at all, I just wanted you to let some of that out. It's been building for sixteen days and I didn't want it to cut you off at the knees if you kept it all inside."
"G.o.d, Ricky, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of that, I know you love Mimi."
"Kid, I said don't worry about it. Hard as it may be to believe, I have heard the word f.u.c.k before, though never with such pa.s.sion. What I want is for you to keep talking to her and bring her back. You're the only one of us who can. I'm looking forward to that." His hand moved across the table and covered Jolly's.
"You miss her huh?"
"Yeah, I miss her, but what I'm waiting for is her reaction when she sees those nametags on the incubators. She's going to get madder at that than finding out Christina was here trying to lure you away."
Jolly laughed until the tears started running down her cheeks and she couldn't stop. The waiting was starting to get to her and her fear was it would break her if Mimi didn't come around soon. "Let it all out, Jolly. Trust me, it'll make you feel better."
She cried until there was no emotion left, only the welcomed relief of exhaustion. Harry came in and found Jolly and Ricky both looking drained. "Can I sit?"
"Come to have me arrested for attacking blondes?" joked Jolly.
"After you left she told me you attacked her for no reason and was thinking about pressing charges against you."
Jolly shook off some of her tiredness and pointed her finger at Harry. "That's a lie, she was..."
With both hands up to stop the denial, Harry started laughing. "I didn't say I bought it, just that she said it."
"What changed your mind, doc?" asked Ricky.
"When she wanted to discuss her options over lunch if I was available. If not we could make it dinner if I wanted to give her my phone number. I was sorely tempted to do just that and have Desi talk to her when she called the house. She's tiny but even I'm afraid of her in the middle of a pregnancy."
"She asked you out?" Jolly wasn't surprised but if Christina wanted to stalk someone else for a while until Mimi was better, more power to her. If only it wasn't Harry.
"Why? You think I'm bad looking or something?"
"No but trust me you want to stay away from this one, Harry. She's cute but she's a bit of a physco."
"I was just kidding. I stay away from all of them no matter how good looking they are or aren't. Desi is the girl for me, always has been. I have a feeling Christina just found that out not only about me but you as well." Harry was glad to see a smile on Jolly's face. "Speaking of small, demanding blondes, mine asked me to come down here and throw my weight around and do something to make you feel better. How would you like to take a nap?"
"Maybe after I go in and see Mimi again. The nurses promised I could go back in after I got some lunch. I'd rather not miss spending time with her."
"How about I show you where I want you to take a nap and if you don't want to, we'll go with your plan? Deal?" She held out her hand and waited for Jolly to take it.
"Deal."
While Jolly was out the nurses had moved Mimi over the bed a little to make room for Jolly. The blankets were turned on one side and another pillow had been placed on the bed. "Want to take me up on my offer?" asked Harry.
"I won't hurt her getting up there?"
"In my medical opinion I think you can only do her good by getting up there. Maybe what Mimi needs is to feel you as well as hear your voice? It might remind her of what's she's missing while she's taking this long nap of hers."
Not needing to be told twice Jolly slipped her shoes off and climbed into the bed as gently as she could. "Is it ok for me to put my arm around her?"
"I think she'd like that so go for it. If you need anything just press the nurse call b.u.t.ton behind you. If not sweet dreams and stay as long as you like. A full eight hours is what the doctor's ordering."
"Thanks, Harry, and I'm sorry about your eye."
"You can make it up to me by getting some sleep." The lights were dimmed when Harry stepped out and before she'd made it out of the ward Jolly was asleep. But not before pressing a kiss to Mimi's temple and enjoying the feel of her against her body.
"I love you."
The soft breath against her neck was what woke Jolly up about five hours later. She stretched slightly and pressed Mimi closer to her. It was nice to finally be this close again and feel Mimi's head tucked against her shoulder. In their time together it didn't matter what position they went to sleep in, this was how they always woke up together.
"You know, sweetheart, you'd better start thinking about opening your eyes. You're missing out on a lot here, and if you're not careful Christina's going to show up and raise your kids. Can you believe she showed up here telling me she wanted to help with the girls and make me feel better?"