A Monk of Cruta Part 19

Father Adrian did not hear me enter, so I had the advantage at the onset of taking him by surprise. He was standing in the centre of the hearthrug, with his arms folded and his eyes cast down upon the ground. His eyebrows almost met in a black frown, and a curious grey pallor had spread itself over his face. When I entered, noiselessly moving the curtains, from the outer chamber, he was muttering to himself, and I strained my hearing to catch the meaning of his words.

"To-night must end it!" I heard him say. "She herself shall decide.

Greater men have travelled the path before me! As for him, my pity has grown faint! It is the will of the Church! I myself am but the instrument. He stands between the Church and her rights! Between me and--her!"

His cheeks flushed, and his expression suddenly changed. He whispered a name! It was mine! His eyes were soft, and his lips were parted. The priest had vanished. His face was human and manly. I saw it, but my heart was as cold as steel.

"Father Adrian," I said quietly, "I am here."

He started, and looked towards me. If my heart could have been softened even to pity, it would have been softened by that look. But a woman's great selfishness was upon me! The man I loved was in some sort of danger at his hands. There was no room in my heart for any other thought. I was adamant.

He was silent for a moment, then he faced me steadily, and spoke. "So you have learned to love this Englishman, this De Vaux, the son of old Martin de Vaux! Answer me simply, Yes or No!"

"I have!"

I did not hesitate. What need was there for hesitation? I answered him defiantly, and without faltering.

"You will never marry him! You will not even become his mistress!"

I made no answer at first; I laughed! that was all.

"Who will prevent me?"

"I shall!"

"How?"

"The means are ready to my hand!"

My heart sank, but I forced a smile. "What are they?"

He considered a moment. "I can strip Paul de Vaux of every acre and every penny he possesses! I can break his mother's heart! I can proclaim his father a murderer!"

"I do not understand! I do not believe!"

The words left me boldly enough, but there was a lump in my throat, and my heart was sick.

"Listen!" He drew a small gold crucifix from his breast, and solemnly kissed it. Then, holding it in his hand, he repeated,--

"I can beggar Paul de Vaux by my proven word. I can take from him everything precious in life! I can take from him his name and his honours! I can break his mother's heart! I can proclaim his father a murderer! All this I can and will do, save you listen to me!"

He kissed the crucifix, and replaced it in his inner pocket. I had begun to tremble. The stamp of truth was upon his words. Still I tried to face him boldly.

"Even if this is so, what has it to do with me?" I cried.

"You know!" he answered. "In your heart you know! Yet, if you will--listen!" he continued, in a low tone. "You love Paul de Vaux!"

"It is true!"

"And you believe that he loves you?"

"I do!"

"Listen, then! Three nights ago I lifted that curtain, by the side of one who has left you for ever, and I saw you in his arms. I followed him out of the house; I walked by his side to Vaux Abbey, and I told him what I have told you. I wasted no time in idle threats. I told him what power was mine, and I said 'Choose!' He was silent!"

"Choose between what?" I interrupted.

"I bade him swear that he would never willingly look upon your face again, or prepare himself to face all the evils which it was in my power to bring upon him."

"And he?"

"He asked for time--for a week!"

A storm of anger was suddenly stirred up within me. I turned upon him with flashing eyes and quivering lips. Discretion and restraint were gone; I was like a tigress. I lacked only the power to kill.

"And by what right did you dare to thrust yourself between us?" I cried. "What have I to do with you, or you with me?"

He held up his hands for a moment, as though to shut out the sight of my face, ablaze with scorn and hatred. There was a short silence. Then he spoke in a low tone, vibrating with intensity of feeling.

"You know! In your heart you know!" he said. "Into my life has come the greatest humiliation which can befall such as I am! In sorrow and bitterness it has eaten itself into my heart. I am accursed in my own sight, and in the sight of G.o.d!"

I mocked at him. "I am not your confessor!" I laughed. "Go and tell your sins to those of your own order! I am a woman and you are a priest! Why do you look at me with that light in your eyes? Am I a prayer-book? Is there anything saintly in my face, that you should keep your eyes fixed upon it so steadily?"

I had hoped that my words would madden him, and he would lose his self-control. To my surprise, they had but little effect. He seemed scarcely to have heard.

"What have you to do with me, or I with you?" he repeated, in a voice which was rapidly gaining strength and pa.s.sion. "G.o.d knows! Yet as surely as we both live, our lots are intertwined the one with the other."

"A G.o.dly priest!" I laughed. "What have you to do with me? What of your vows? Oh, how dare you try to play the lover with me! You hypocrite!"

He shrank back as though in pain. I laughed outright, glad that I had made him feel.

"Adrea!" he said slowly. "I was never a hypocrite to you. In your presence I have never breathed a word of my religion. Think for a moment of those days at Cruta. Did I not refuse to confess you? Why?

You know! Because of those long, dreamy days we spent together, not as priest and penitent, but as man and woman. Do you remember them--the cliffs, with their giant shadows standing out across the blue waters of the harbour; the hollows, where we sat amongst the perfumed wild flowers, gazing across the sea, and watching the white sails in the distance; the nights, with their white moonlight and silent grandeur!

Ay, Adrea! look me in the face, if you can, and tell me that you have forgotten them! You cannot! You dare not! It was you who brought me those books of wild, pa.s.sionate poetry whose music entered into my very soul! It was you who tempted me with soft words, with your music, with your beauty, into that world of sense which holds me prisoner for ever. What I once was, I can never be again! It is you who worked the change--you who awoke my man's heart, and set it beating for ever at your touch, at your movements, at the sight of you. It is you who taught me how to love--who opened to me the rose-covered gates of h.e.l.l! There is no drawing back! You, who have dragged me down, shall share my fall with me, for better or for worse! You shall not escape!

No other man shall have you! I have paid the price, and I will have you!"

I wrenched myself free from the arms which were closing around me, and stood trembling before him.

"Fool!" I cried. "You have dared to think of me like that because I chose to make use of you at Cruta! Make use of you! Yes, that is what I did! I wanted to escape! You and she were the only ones who could help me! Save for that, I had never wasted a moment upon you. I never thought of you as a man; you were only a priest. I never wished to see you again! You are in my way now; you stand between me and the man I love! I hate you!"

His dark eyes were lit up with a sudden fire and a deep flush stained his cheeks. For the first time I seemed to see the man in him as well as the priest, and I saw that he was handsome. It did not interest me; I noticed it only as an incident.

"I do not believe it!" he exclaimed. "You are not so false as you would have me believe, Adrea!"

His hand was on my wrist, and his dark eyes, strangely softened, were fixed pleadingly upon mine. Something in his manner, even in his tone, seemed to remind me of Paul. I was magnetized! For a moment I could not move, and during that moment his hands closed upon mine.

"Adrea, is such a love as I can offer you worth nothing? What did you tell me once was your life's ideal? Was it not the love of a strong, true man, always faithful, always loving? No one could love you more tenderly than I, no one could be more faithful. Until I saw you, no woman's face had dwelt in my thoughts for a single instant. In my heart you reign alone, Adrea! No one has been there before--no one will come after! Such as it is, it is a kingdom of your own!"

"I do not understand you," I said slowly, withdrawing my hands. "You talk to me of a man's love, a man's faithfulness! What do you know of it? You are a priest!"