A Fool's Paradise Part 13

PHIL. I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey? (_R. end of sofa facing her_)

BEA. In what way? (_at door L._)

PHIL. In making this new will.

BEA. You always do right, Philip.

PHIL. I have your acquiescence?

BEA. Certainly.

PHIL. Then, I will lose no time. It shall be made to-day.

_Exit BEATRICE, L.D._

PHIL. (_knock at door, R._) Who is it?

_Enter TOM R.U.D., followed closely by MILDRED, arm in arm._

TOM. (_up R.C._) Only me, Mr. Selwyn.

MIL. (_up R.C._) Only _I,_ Tom.

TOM. Oh, bother grammar! (_releases her arm, they come down to C._)

PHIL. Well, children? How are _you_ to-day?

TOM. (_L. of MILDRED_) Oh, we're all right; but, I say, Mr. Selwyn, I wish everybody wouldn't call us "children." I don't like it.

MIL. And it's not true.

TOM. I'm turned sixteen.

MIL. And I'm fifteen next birthday!

PHIL. Well, then, my man and woman, what do you want?

TOM. You tell him, Mildred! } } (_half whispered_) MIL. No--_you_ tell him, Tom! }

TOM. Are you quite well enough to stand a shock?

PHIL. What, are you studying electricity? Or is it some toy?

TOM. Electricity! (_with contempt--turns up C., and down again_)

MIL. A toy!

TOM. Mr. Selwyn, you make it jolly hard for a fellow to say what he wants to say--just when he wants a leg up.

MIL. Tom! "A leg up?"

TOM. Oh, bother style! Let me say what I mean.

PHIL. And what do you mean, my lad? (_smiling_)

TOM. If you please--we want to get married. (_rather frightened, taking MILDRED'S hand, and retreating with her up to R.C., facing PHILIP_)

PHIL. (_suddenly serious_) Want to get married?

MIL. That's the shock!

TOM. (_aside to her_) Now for it. (_holding her tight_) Don't run away--_I_ won't!

PHIL. You are both too young to think about such things!

TOM. (_st.u.r.dily_) I'm sure we're not too young--(_down to C._)

MIL. To _think_ about such things.

PHIL. Well, to talk about them.

MIL. (_crosses TOM to PHILIP, back of sofa. Imploringly_) Philip!

TOM. Mildred, this is no place for you. (_hands her across to R.U.D._) Leave me alone with Mr. Selwyn.

MIL. (_aside to TOM_) Tom! You won't come to blows? (_at R.U.D._)

TOM. (_L. of her, aside to her_) I will control myself. I will not forget the respect that is due to the brother of my affianced wife.

MIL. That's right, Tom.

TOM. Wait for me--on the mat. (_exit MILDRED, R.U.D. TOM comes boldly down to C._) Now, Mr. Selwyn, we are alone. We can discuss this matter as men of the world.

PHIL. My dear Tom-- (_TOM draws himself up_) Mr. Verinder--Such a thing as marriage at your early age is, of course, preposterous; but I wish you distinctly to understand that the remotest idea of an engagement between you and Mildred is equally out of the question.

TOM. May I ask why, sir?

PHIL. You belong to a very proud family; and there are reasons which you would scarcely understand----

TOM. Mr. Selwyn!

PHIL. Which, at any rate, I can't enter into--that make it impossible you should ever marry my sister.

TOM. That is your ultimatum? (_a step towards PHILIP_)

PHIL. Yes. (_sighing_)

TOM. Good day, sir. (_walks to the door, R., with importance, suddenly breaks down--exit blubbering, R.U.D._)