A Bayard From Bengal Part 12

Had anyone met the Red Herring in the sea and foretold that he would one day be pursued by Hounds across a difficult country, the Herring would have accounted him but a vain babbler.

Yet so it fell out!

_Note._--I shrewdly suspect that my young friend has made the rather natural mistake of subst.i.tuting the word "Red Herring" for "Flying Fish."

It is not absolutely incredible that one of the latter department should fly inland and be chased by Dogs--but even Piljosh should be aware that no Herring could pop off in such a way.--H. B. J.

An Officious Busybody, perceiving a Phoenix well alight, promptly extinguished her by means of a convenient watering-pot.

"Had you refrained from this uncalled for interference," said the justly irate Bird, "I should by this time be rising gloriously from my ashes--instead of presenting the ridiculous appearance of a partially roasted Fowl!"

_Note._--I can offer no explanation of this allegory, except to remind the reader that the Phoenix is the notorious symbol for a fire insurance.--H. B. J.

"Alas!" sighed the Learned Pig, while expiring from inflammation of the brain, brought on by a laborious endeavour to ascertain the sum of two and two, "Why, _why_ was I cursed with Intellect?"

"I shall know better another time!" gasped the Fish, as he lay in the Landing-net.

A certain Merchant sold a child a sharp sword. "Thou hast done wrong in this," remonstrated a Sage, "since the child will a.s.suredly wound either himself or some other."

"_I_ shall not be responsible," cried the Merchant, "for, in selling the sword, I did recommend the child to protect the point with a cork!"

A certain grain of Millet fell out of a sack in which it was being carried into the City, and was soon trampled in the dust.

"I am lost!" cried the Millet-seed. "Yet I do not repine so much for myself as for those countless mult.i.tudes who, deprived of me, are now doomed to perish miserably of starvation!"

"I have given up dancing," said the Tongs, "for they no longer dance with the Elegance and Grace that were universal in _my_ young days!"

"But for the Mercy of Providence," said the Fox, piously, to the Goose whom he found in a trap that had been set for himself, "our respective situations might now be reversed!"

"She really sang quite nicely," remarked the Cuckoo, after she had been to hear the Nightingale one evening, "but it's a pity her range is so sadly limited!"

The Mendicant insisted on making his Will:

"But what hast _thou_ to leave when thou diest?" cried the Scribe.

"As much as the richest," he replied; "for when I die, I leave the entire World!"

_Note._--This is (if not incorrectly translated) a grotesque and puerile allegation. The veriest tyro is aware that when a Millionaire hops the twig of his existence, he leaves more behind him than a mere Mendicant!--H. B. J.

"Forgive me," said the Toad to the Swallow, "but, although you may not be aware of it, you are flying on totally false principles!"

"Am I?" said the Swallow meekly. "I'm so sorry! Do you mind showing me how _you_ do it?"

"I don't fly myself," said the Toad, with an air of superiority. "I've other things to do--but I have thoroughly mastered the theory of the Art."

"Then teach _me_ the theory!" said the Swallow.

"Willingly," said the Toad; "my fee--to _you_--will be two worms a lesson."

"I can't bear to think that no one will weep for me when I am gone!"

said the sentimental Fly, as he flew into the eye of a Moneylender.

_Note.--Cf._ Poet Byron: "'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark Our coming, and look brighter when we come!"--H. B. J.

A certain c.o.c.katrice, feeling sociably inclined, entered a Mother's Meeting, bent upon making himself agreeable--but was greatly mortified to find himself but coldly received.

"Women _are_ so particular about trifles!" he reflected bitterly. "I know I said 'Good Afternoon' with my mouth full--but, as I explained, I had just been lunching at the Infant School!"

"I want to be _useful!_" said the Silkworm, as she sat down and "set" a sock for a Decayed Centipede.

A Traveller demanded hospitality from fourteen Kurds, who were occupying one small tent.

"Enter freely," said the Kurds, "but we must warn thee that thou wilt find the atmosphere exceedingly unpleasant--for, by some inadvertence, we have greased our boots from a jar of Attar of Roses!"

_Note._--Once more I do not entirely fathom the Fabulist's meaning--unless it is that such a valuable cosmetic as Attar of Roses may become so deteriorated as to offend even the nostril organ of a Kurd.--H. B. J.